Purpose

Being back on the road actually felt good in a way. I can’t believe I actually missed it. Leaving the Wastes remained a large blank in my mind. So this was the first time in months that I actually traveled. Day after day of my life focused on searching for a pointless obelisk. So much wasted time. The road and the dirt under my feet gave me purpose, a destination.

For as much as the road was welcome, it did little for my mood. After Thesil and the Wastes, too much haunted my shadows. Each step felt like lead dragging my boots through the earth. I could march forward, but it was just to be home and leave this all behind. It felt empty. The pointlessness of everything swarmed my mind whenever I spared a thought. Which happened far too often alone and on the road.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for company again after Thesil, but perhaps it would be preferred to solitude. The dragging in my boots only got worse with each hour.

Regardless if I wanted it, the village of Lethon came into view faster than I expected. Given how I had been, it should have taken well into the next day judging from the map. I expected to have to sleep, but here it was late into the afternoon with light still in the sky ever so slightly.

Bracing myself, I tugged on the straps of my pack and pressed forward. Lethon was like any other village I met. Small and open to anyone entering. It looked maybe a little larger than Linoth as there seemed to be more stretching out. But there was no guard stopping me.

Two houses in though, I was approached by a middle aged man with some scars over his face. He was a hunter if I had to guess or maybe fought in a war. As I’m reminded this kingdom remained in conflict. “Announcement!”

I stopped even if I did consider ignoring them. Something about their look said that they wouldn’t let me leave without a word. Were they the guard? “Announcement.”

“What business do you have in Lethon, stranger?”

“Resupply and rest. I’m traveling home.”

“And where is home?”

“Further west.” Please don’t press this further. I know you’re doing your job, but I just want some peace right now. Added complications wasn’t something I prepared for today. I don’t need the trouble.

The man remained stern and eying me up and down. I was a stranger and this kingdom was definitely on edge. He really seemed to want a reason. Not sure if he was looking to remove me or start a fight. Not that I could manage either. “Where is your home?”

You’re really going to force me into this? I sighed with reluctance. I wanted to avoid this, but I didn’t need the extra trouble of being a foreigner. “I’m Speaker Eshikra.” Motioning to him with my hands, I got his permission to remove the Ministra symbol from the pocket of my jacket.

He leaned in as I showed it to him. “I’ve been traveling to temples providing aid and my knowledge in prophecies following the wake of the Conveyance. I trust this is explanation enough for my travels. It’s been a trying time for many and the support I can offer eases the souls of the confused or fearful.” They examined the carved symbol in my hands for what seemed like too long. Probably looking for a reason for it to be a fake. Did people lie about being a part of the temple? What would that gain them? The temple keeps its doors open to anyone regardless.

But he relented with some more time and pulled back. A softer expression came over him seeing that I wasn’t going to be a threat. “I’ve heard rumors of villages losing themselves to despair or violence. It’s dark times.”

“A sad truth I’ve had to witness. But Lethon appears to be stable. What was decided?” Figured it’d be a good idea to know what I should avoid if needed. Even if I’m only staying for a night.

“Mostly, we had a few people that couldn’t take the news, but the Speaker presented Her words unvarnished to us all. As a community we’ve accepted the reality.”

“Accepted?” That was surprising. I had yet to truly see any settlement accept it without some conflict. And Lethon he admitted didn’t fully escape that, but to be this far into the year and still whole. What were they made of to remain at ease?

No, I shook my head. I couldn’t let such tricks enter me. I just needed to focus on getting home, everyone else didn’t matter now.

“That’s right, we accept what She’s foresaw and will walk together as a community to that end.”

“That’s well reasoned and logical. I’m sure she would be proud of you.”

“Thank you, Speaker. May Her wisdom light your path so that you may show others.”

With a polite nod, I put the symbol away and walked up to the village center. The traveler’s quarters should be available for me to borrow for the night. I can manage a night amongst the ignorant faithful.

An explanation of my situation and needs went over smoothly as expected. They didn’t have a room, but spared a simple cot for me to use. It’s not surprising and plenty enough for me. I placed my pack down and sat down. After the bed in Thesil, this wasn’t as welcoming, but it felt fitting. I couldn’t argue with it.

Clearing my mind, I exhaled and focused away from the few still working the chambers. They didn’t seem to be in need by the village and could only clean the temple. It seemed a fair standard day by any measure were it not hung by doom.

However, I heard footsteps approaching me. Opening my eyes a little, it was an elderly woman, one of the Priests. I had spoken with the Head Priest Danith before, so she was new. But it seemed that I would be getting the introduction. I sat up a little more, giving my attention to her.

“Announcement! I heard we had a traveler from Danith.”

“Announcement. I’m just passing through and needed a place to rest.”

“Yes, so I was told.” Was that all you wanted? I’m being polite, but I didn’t have the mood to carry a conversation, especially one that I felt that she wanted to deliver. I don’t need the talk. “You look troubled. So I thought you might like an ear to let it out.”

Shaking my head, I relaxed a bit in the cot. I also didn’t need this. “I’ve nothing to say. Thank you.”

“You say that, but your face says otherwise. I’ve seen plenty of troubled people in my days, especially this year, but you seem at the edge. Just one push would be all it’d take. Perhaps, you’ve even pondered it?” I flinched a little at her probing. Damn, she’s really good at this. This was something I never had the skill in no matter how much Cathlin tried to teach me. It was an experience rather than a taught skill. Or just talent and I lacked that.

The old Priest nodded seeing my reaction. “You’ve been in darkness for a while. The only way out is to release it from your heart and it be free. Containing it will only make it worse.”

Her eyes had a determination that made it clear she could get what she wanted. I was stuck. A sigh escaped. I know things I can’t tell her. But maybe still, she was right. “I’m lost. I’ve lost my purpose and destination, my meaning. Everything that I believed and followed is filled with lies. I wasted my entire life. It was all meaningless. None of it means a thing.” Once I started I didn’t stop. I didn’t know I had that all inside me. By the end my hands were shaking and I could feel tears building up.

She leaned in kneeling down by the cot to look at me. The old hands of her were surprisingly soft and gentle as they ran over my trembling hands. “I can see how it may seem like that, especially with what you know now. But it’s important to focus on what matters. I think you still know what you want, you’ve just lost sight of it. Everything around us may change and fade with time, but there remains one constant in our lives. No matter what we face or the end that presents us, if you’re with those that matter to you each day then it makes it all worth it. You can brave anything with that strength. Doom or lies, it is the bonds of those that we love that keep us whole and show us who we truly are. Cherish that and you will always know your purpose.”

Mother? Father? I squeezed her hands crying deeply into her arms. It was that simple. I was blind. But she was right.

She was right. I belong at their side.