The Need to Move On

“Did you visit Vito recently?” Short for Vitalia(one of the names humans call Life).

“I go there every chance I get really, I’m surprised you don't come by more often.” I said and sat on a chair(brought to me by Peanut) opposite from Cris, and kept looking at the books piled on the table. Lots of titles related to barrier magic, some stuff on curses too. Guess he’s been thinking about his mortality too.

“I used to, but the more centuries went by, the more depressing each visit felt. It's nice to see Sacha again, but when I think about how I'll never be able to do the things I used to with Vito, I just…can't.” His voice cracked slightly at the last part. I understand that feeling well, and yet.. I still can't manage to let go.

“Her mana still reacts in small ways now and then, she's not entirely gone.” Might have sounded a little too defensive. I kept looking at the stacked books.

“But she still can't answer you anymore, regardless of what ghost of a memory might still remain in that body. She can't smile, laugh or get excited about whatever new experiment she was working on. The way she is now, it's like she fell asleep never to wake again. The fact that all you've done since her consciousness faded was either stay there or only focus all of your energy on work has been…concerning.” He said it in a gentle tone, and this isn't the first time we've had this conversation. It might also be one of the reasons why I don't visit more often.

“I'm Death, I've always had to focus on work. And I don't want to hear anything about not leaving home from someone, who rarely ever steps outside of his own.” Again. Might have said it in a more defensive tone then I meant too.

“I've been a shut-in well before Vito became like that, and yes, you do get more or less busy throughout the centuries depending on the state of the world and all, but you still had hobbies. You still came by, or went to see Silvia or whoever else. You took the time to improve your magic occasionally. When was the last time you did any of that?” He looked directly at me. Silvia is one of the old names humans call Fate, she's always been rather fond of it.

“I came by now haven't I? Or are you suggesting I shouldn't see my sister at all?” A little too passive aggressive there maybe. Not like he means any harm when he asks me that. If anything, he has a point and that irks me more then I want to admit. He sighed slightly.

“You know that's not what I meant. And you dropping by just because of my life barrier issue does not count, when this is technically part of work for you. I bet you went to see Silvia for similar reasons too.” He maintained eye contact, and that did make me feel just a tiny bit guilty. Fate did complain about that too. “I'm sorry I haven't dropped by in a while without it being work related in one way or another. I really was that busy, and at the end of it, being near Life helps me relax just a little.” I looked at the book stack again(perhaps a bit too quickly).

“You mean it helps you stay in the past without looking at the present, or whatever remains of the future. If what the seer saw was correct, there's less than a year left. I understand your grief, and I suppose perhaps I'm a hypocrite for telling you to get out more besides your work, but do you really want to spend however little time remains doing nothing, but reminiscing about Vito? Do you truly not wanna take the time to indulge in anything that you used to like back then? It's been centuries since she spoke her final words, don't you think it's time to let go just a little bit? Or at least bring something you can do while you're there. I know you just stand in front of her most of the time. Sacha mentioned it when I asked.” Perhaps I should ask Sacha to share less information about my activities. The fact that he already heard the news about the world shouldn't be too surprising either given his topic of research(and his surprisingly robust information network). “I do read…occasionally.” I said still a little too defensively.

“ And when was the last time you did that?” He sounded doubtful. It wasn't that long ago…probably. Maybe.”A decade…no, a century ago. I ended up finding a book she used to like in an old ruin after collecting a soul.” I said and looked at him this time. He made a “my point still stands” kind of face. “ So, not only was this a whole century ago,but it was also for the sake of reminiscing about Vito. Maybe I should be glad you at least seem to have gained a mild interest in experimenting with your look, since you didn't want to change from the last dress partially because it was the last thing you wore around Vito. Or was I wrong about that?” He maintained eye contact. He can be such a prick sometimes. But he's not wrong about that either. I wanted to hold on to every trace of her that I could.

“You…weren't. As for my recent change I just thought it might be a nice time to do it. Especially since it's my last year and all, or maybe because it's the last.” I looked down at the table. He sighed.” So it takes this much for you to consider letting go even a little. Well I suppose that is a good sign in itself, better late than never. But enough about that for now. Given the circumstances, would you mind answering a question for me?” He said with a serious tone.

“Depends on the question, but go ahead.” I said and looked up at him. “ Can you tell me if I'll make it to the end of the year?” So back to business then. Although the change of topic is very welcome, it's a shame it has to be this particular one. I saw his death date earlier and the thing I feared was correct. “ You will, but that's not the issue.”

“ My soul is going to end up not being able to get out, isn't it?”

“Yes,and it'll stay stuck to your body long after everything else has returned to dust.” For a soul to remain trapped like that for so long risks damage, not to mention the way the last engraved emotions may fester. I can't let it get to that point. Not for him, or anyone else for that matter. “So…there's no way I'll figure out how to deal with all of this by then?” He said with a worried look on his face.

“ I never said that, besides, I've told you before that an altered death date like yours is never truly set in stone. If anything, there's still a chance to stop it, we just have to figure out how to get rid of that protective barrier.” I give him a slight smile even though I know that's the hard part, given how strong that damn thing is. “ If we can’t find a solution using regular means, then I'll do it the old fashioned way.” He seemed concerned about that. Doing it that way would mean breaking my oath. Doing that will result in me going against the magic that physically restrains me from doing so and fighting it leads to pain. A lot of pain. And the chance to permanently damage the body(or just enough that it could take centuries to heal). But none of that would matter if I'm going to die anyway. If we wait till the last moments and leave his soul last it should be fine.

“I’ll do what I can to make sure you don't have to resort to that. Especially after what happened the last time you tried.” He seemed determined about it. I couldn't use my dominant hand for a decade the last time, and I barely even did anything against the oath. Can't imagine the kind of damage breaking his barrier would do. “ I appreciate that, but whether I have to do it or not doesn't matter in the end. Only freeing your soul matters. And don't make that face either, you're the one that made that damn barrier so stupidly strong in the first place.” He grumbled at that. Although I suppose I shouldn't complain too much when that barrier is also the reason we became friends in the first place.

“I'll go see Fate about it when I have the chance, she might be willing to be less cryptic than usual given the circumstances.” I said as I started to rise. He got up too and asked. “ Going already? Where to next? If it's near the place I need then I'll accompany you.” Wouldn't be the first time. He's always found the concept of souls and reincarnation itself fascinating, especially the way emotions influence the color.

“The Mage Tower in that bastard's city. A couple of the mages are starting to fade.” Went there just four days ago, now I have to go back so damn soon. Can't be helped, sending a puppet risks me spreading myself too thin (especially when there's a plague going on just west of here).

Cris started walking towards the exit as his robe changed to a sandy colored one with puffy sleeves and golden threaded stripes all over. His usual earring dangling from the left and the belt buckle with the sun imagery(something left over from the old days) holding all his stuff together. “To Anwir we go then.”