Screams Against the Silence and the Void

By the time the sun rose over Tokyo, the friends were already gone. Luggage had been packed without a care of whose suitcase held what. Petrol was refilled in wordless haste, breakfast was forgotten about, and goodbyes were said to the great city. Dawn’s purple glow cut over the mountains and painted the van in its soft morning radiance as the wheels carried the friends far from the horrors of that night.

Inside the van, no one spoke. Rin was driving now, with Arata looking forward in contemplative solitude. Shiona fell back asleep as she held on to Kureha, who was uploading the interview to her socials. Even though there was so much more she had wanted to record and capture, Kureha felt a small drag in her arms that her days of interviews and photos were soon ending. Her heart couldn’t carry much more truth.

Behind them, Kai finally allowed himself to break after weeks of being the reliable lighthearted one. Riku held his head as sorrow consumed him and ripped out the barriers of happiness he had so carefully stored and fortified.

Hours bled by as the sun moved along the sky above them, leading them westward toward their final destination. No one had acknowledged it, but Rin was heading straight for Fukuoka. No more stops between, as it did not seem like they would have time. Kyoto. Gifu. Osaka. Wakayama. Hyogo. Shimane. Hiroshima. Onomichi. So many others. All of those places and moments were forsaken now as time robbed them once more of any potential memory. Only Fukuoka mattered now.

As Kureha sat there looking at the photos of the wicked man, one of his last statements stuck with her. He had called her a rage-filled girl. His tone and perception did not feel dismissive, or sarcastic when he said it. It merely came out like an analysis of a target. Sitting there in the seat surrounded by those she loved, knowing she had even less time than planned with them, Kureha knew he was correct. Through the last half-year of tragedy and collapse, after years of depression fueled by economic strain, global pandemics, an emotionally absent father, and a mother who vanished, Kureha had indeed become filled by rage. It was there with her on that mountain when she mourned Riku’s planned death, and ever since, she had been trying to make peace with it.

Rage had been her constant companion for some time. It was never jealous or all-consuming. It allowed her to feel other emotions like grief, longing, hope, and happiness. It made space in her heart and welcomed all other sensations, but no matter what, it remained the preeminent emotion in her life. For so long, she had run from that realization. For so long she wanted to be happy. She had wanted so much more. She had wanted to be a girl who was filled with light and only occasionally felt the strain of rage or sorrow as temporary guests in the secret tunnels of her mind. Instead, that rage stitched itself into the fabric of her soul and became the truest foundation of who she was. Yet, even with that darkness tearing through her every moment of every day, when she was so hateful and full of the most exhausting hate for existence, they were there with her. Her friends.

No matter how far she spiraled, and how many years she fell further from them once Kai had moved away, her friends were always there to check on her and pull her back to the warm feelings of happiness. They let her sit with them and feel that rage. They never pushed it away. They accepted it and allowed her to be whoever she was. Through that, her rage became her peace. It was always there. Always watching and growling at the outside world, but it no longer overwhelmed her. This trip had allowed her to finally feel okay about that. Her friends had helped her see that her rage was okay. Ten hours later, after the van had already passed Kyoto, Nara, Osaka, Kobe, and Hyogo, that rage made its final appearance when The Calamity appeared over the mountains.

It was dusk now. Fiery orange and pink clouds filled the sky. They were outside of Okayama when Rin let out a frightened choking sound. Shiona saw and buried her head in Kureha’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to! I don’t want to see it!” cried Shiona.

“Oh shit. Oh god. It’s actually real. It’s actually here,” cried Arata.

“I can’t. I can’t…” whimpered Rin as she slowed the van and pulled over to the side of the road.

“Kureha, I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner, all those years ago when you were spiraling alone. I’m sorry it took Shiona pushing me,” said Riku as his eyes turned white with unblinking terror.

“I… I don’t want to do this right now…” choked Kai as he put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from vomiting.

Through it all, Kureha was silent as she stared at the black void that cut through the sky just above the clouds and severed them from the heavens. A frigid cold stabbed at Kureha’s skin as she beheld the harbinger of her end. That emptiness would soon consume her, but as she looked at it with defiant hate, it was not fear that overwhelmed her and led her to unbuckle her seatbelt. It was rage that led her from the van and onto the road to stand and face the darkness.

Every muscle, tendon, sinew, and ligament in Kureha’s body tensed as burning tears rushed down her face. At first it felt as though nothing would come from her rattling jaw, then the screams erupted. Tragic, hate-filled screams of rage, defeat, disappointment, denial, sorrow, fear, and soul-shattering despair tore themselves from her throat and into the air with the volume and intensity of a thousand years of hurt. So loud were the screams that even in the van they were frightening. Kureha’s fingers dug into the skin of her face and pulled down in uncontrolled brokenness, ripping her skin away as her eyes clenched shut then forced themselves open once more. Knees trembled and nearly buckled as she screamed once more.

There was a ripping sensation in her throat as a warm current of something rust-flavored filled her mouth. Her vocal chords had torn. Panicked fingers gripped her neck as she fell to the ground with tiny streaks of blood running from her mouth. Still, she screamed once more. Then again. And again. She screamed until she vomited from the pain and nearly passed out.

Her legs scraped along the asphalt as she wept. There she was, alone before the almighty oblivion, unable to fight it, unable to curse it. Then, Arata was there beside her, holding her. Rin’s hands slid under Kureha’s arms to help her up. Riku stepped from the van and held out his hand to help Kai, who then clasped Shiona in his arms and carried her forward. The six of them stood in the road, facing The Calamity.

Rin was the first of the friends to join Kureha’s screams. Her voice was frail. Broken. Soft, yet tragic. Her screams turned to wailing as Arata took her hand and let out a monstrous, heartbroken roar. Riku’s eyes closed as the sorrow rose from his stomach and caused his hands to lock. Despair’s familiar voice carried itself in his howls. Kai’s screams were short, unsure, and unfamiliar. For so long he had been the happy, funny one. Now, when faced with unfiltered yells of release while fear flooded his mind, his screams were desperate, like a wounded animal calling for its mother. Shiona’s hands clasped around her chest as she closed her eyes and looked to the sky to weep. Her cries were anguished, heartbroken, and frightened.

Black void and silence was all that answered them. Standing beneath oblivion, on the side of an empty, darkening road, those six young people were all but gone already. Yet, for that moment, they were there for one another when they needed it most.