Same and Different

Sakurako was walking uphill while analyzing the picture she got from Chiharu’s house the day of the trip. She couldn’t help but feel nostalgic while looking at the couple in the picture. She felt as if she had the memory that Kaori and Chiharu shared. As she reached the top, she sat down under the tree. The smiles on their face left with her a sadness; she wished that she could feel this type of happiness one day.

“You’re back.” Sakurako wasn’t surprised to hear Chiharu’s voice. It would’ve been more surprising if she heard nothing.

“Mm. I broke our deal.”

Chiharu let out a loud sigh. “Just stay quiet then.” Chiharu closed his eyes to take in the silence. Sakurako walked to where Chiharu was and faced him. Chiharu opened his eyes. “What?” Sakurako showed him the picture that she had with her.

“This is Kaori right?”

Chiharu’s eyes widened at the sight of the picture. “Where’d you get this?”

“I got it from your room.”

“My room? My parents never-”

“I told you, I’m from the future. Believe me now?”

Chiharu didn’t answer back. He was tired to hear of this nonsense and didn't want to keep fighting over the same argument.

Sakurako sighed and went to sit on the other side of the tree. “You know your room was left untouched after you were gone.” Chiharu didn’t reply so Sakurako took the chance to just keep talking. “Rena is doing well.” Chiharu opened his eyes when he heard his friend’s name. “She’s living on the northern side now. She lives with her granddaughter…me.” Chiharu was surprised but looked happy that his friend is having a good life. “And you know about Akira. He has a market now. He visits my grandma every week. I think they seem to be pretty happy. They kept in contact with each other after you and Kaori were gone. Their friendship is stronger now.”

Chiharu gave a slight chuckle, “That’s good. They didn’t seem to get along well before.” Sakurako was happy to hear Chiharu talking to her. She didn’t get her hopes up, but she thought it was a good first step to understanding him.

“You look pretty happy in that picture.”

“What gave it away? The smiling?”

“Yes, but also, that’s the type of happiness you don’t just get anytime. It’s the type you get when you’re with someone special. She was really special to you, wasn’t she?” Sakurako has never felt like this but she could sense it.

“Mm. She was the only one who could make me feel a certain way. I can’t put it into words. You have to feel it to know it.”

“Tell me the story of the picture.”

Chiharu started to reminiscence about the memory he had. There was a small smile on his face as he started telling his story. “She was always interested in the firework festivals in the big city. The first time I told her about one, I remember the look in her eyes. I remember we planned a day together to go see one and we didn’t tell the others. It was supposed to be our secret. We took a bus from the village to the nearby city. It was her first time on a bus and she was so scared. It felt like I was introducing her to my world after I entered hers. That night, when the first firework went up, the look in her eyes changed. That time, I knew I was for sure in love with her. We made a promise to do this again the next year…”, his voice trailed off.

“Just like in my dream”, Sakurako thought to herself. “I wish I could meet someone like that. Someone who would make me smile every time I thought of them. Someone who I can make those certain memories with. I choose to shut myself off though, so I’m not like you. I can’t make myself be open to new people. All my life, I kept feeling that something was missing in my soul. I close myself off on purpose because I’m scared. I’m scared that people will take more from me and I’ll be left with nothing. If something was already missing, wouldn’t you want to protect what you already have left? I wanted to protect myself from losing any other part of me so I never opened up. I guess that’s why I distrust people so much.”

“Well, you can’t find what you’re missing if you never open up. People are there to help you. You can’t just search by yourself.”, Sakurako was surprised to hear Chiharu’s reply to her. She knew he was right but, he wouldn’t understand her. “You and I aren't so different. I was like that too.” And Sakurako was proven wrong.

“You seem so different from what I heard about.”

Chiharu let out a soft chuckle. “I am different from you, but I know what you feel like.”

Sakurako was ready to understand him.

“I was like you. I knew that my soul was missing something too. Unlike you, I opened myself up and chose to seek what it was that I was missing. I didn't want to wait for the missing piece to enter my life so I did all I can to meet others hoping they were the one to help complete me. It’s scary to open yourself up; you'll meet some people who will take more, but I learned there are more people who are open to giving. And once you find what you’re missing, it feels like the effort was worth it. That’s how it was when I met Kaori. When you meet the right person, even if you feel like you lost more than before, the right person can complete your soul again.”

Sakurako was silent. His words were actually comforting her. It was nice to know someone who knew how she's like. A thought occurred, “maybe there are others who will understand me, I just haven’t made any effort to understand them either.” She was thinking about how she’s never once tried to be more open towards Yumi and Daiki, yet they still go out of their way to stay with her. Sakurako felt guilty about the way she’s been treating people. Others will try to help her but she just pushes them away.

“Don’t beat yourself up too much.” It was like Chiharu knew what Sakurako was thinking about. “You’ve been doing well with me.”

Sakurako didn’t realize it, but she has been more open towards Chiharu; in fact, she’s been more open to him than anyone else at her school. “You really think so?”

“Mm. At least that’s what it feels like to me. Just try harder with other people. Maybe then you’ll find what you’re missing for; someone to complete your soul.”

Tears were running down Sakurako’s cheeks as she heard his words. Hearing him say this healed her soul a bit. “Could this person be the one?.”, Sakurako thought to herself.

“Don’t cry. I know you'll do well”, Chiharu heard her quiet sobs.

“Mm.”, Sakurako said while wiping her tears off. She managed to compose herself. “I’ll try harder. I won’t be scared anymore.”, and she got up from where she was sitting. “Thank you…I promise this will be the last time I’m here.”, she was trying not to cry as she said that because she wished she could see him more. She started walking away.

“Hey.”, Chiharu called out which made Sakurako stop. “You better come back soon.”

Sakurako turned around, "Mm. You'll see me again soon!", she said excitedly and smiled brightly. Chiharu caught her smiling and was still taken aback at how much her smile reminded him of Kaori. Sakurako was vastly different from her, yet Chiharu still felt the same comfort he had with Kaori when he was with Sakurako. In his mind, he really did hope she meet him again soon.

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As Sakurako was walking downhill, she was questioning why she was suddenly so expressive of her feelings. The only person she’s ever been this open to was her grandma. She questioned why she was so comfortable expressing her feelings with him.

Even if she was confused, she admitted to herself that talking to him felt like a weight had been lifted off of her. Being with him feels like being around an old friend she hadn’t seen in a while, comfortable and familiar. Thinking of the words he told her made her happy. Maybe she was just happy that she had someone to confide in or maybe these feelings meant something else. For a while there, it seemed like her soul temporarily healed.