A Frightened Heart

Hana heard the doorbell ring and quickly wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing as she hurried to the door. When she opened it, she was greeted by Mayu’s cheerful smile and a light bag swinging from her hand, containing some kind of drink.

“I brought tea and soda because I'm a model guest,“ Mayu said with a wink.

“You’re not fooling anyone. You don’t even say hi, and you never wait for me to invite you in,“ Hana replied playfully, stepping aside to let her in.

“But you love me anyway,“ Mayu shot back, grinning as she walked in like she owned the place.

As she took off her shoes in the entryway, she spotted Shinya in the kitchen, focused on shaping small onigiri. He wore a simple shirt and had his usual calm, almost serene expression. He looked so at ease that Mayu found it a little odd, like someone who’d lived in that house forever.

“Hey, Shinya. Making dinner?“ she teased as she wandered into the living room.

“It’s not dinner. It’s snacks for our drama night,“ Shinya replied without looking at her, completely focused on the task at hand, as if it were of utmost importance.

“Now that’s dedication,“ she laughed, glancing at Hana. “Was it you who got him hooked on these things?“

“I introduced him to it, but the addiction was all his doing,“ Hana said as she stepped behind Shinya to grab some pocky and senbei from a high shelf. “And he takes it very seriously.“

“But it looks like you’re enjoying all this excitement too,“ Mayu murmured as she plopped down on the couch, pulling a cushion onto her lap.

From where she sat, she could see them in the kitchen. Hana was carefully arranging the dishes, and Shinya, with a slight smile on his lips, watched her movements absently. There was something intimate in the way they looked at each other. In the small gestures, like when he handed her a fork or a knife, that made the atmosphere, and Hana herself, feel lighter. Different from the Hana she used to know: living alone, worried about whether her new job would be something she liked, distracting herself with TV shows to mask the loneliness when everything felt like it was falling apart. Now, she seemed much more at peace.

Mayu let out a quiet sigh.

“You two are together, aren’t you?“ she said suddenly. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

Hana flushed slightly, and Shinya, as always, froze for a split second before letting out a sheepish laugh.

“Yeah... we are,“ Hana replied, her smile gentle. She walked over and placed the snacks on the coffee table, then flopped down beside Mayu, leaning her shoulder against hers. “Was it that obvious?“

“Obvious?“ Mayu blinked, then laughed. “Very. But I want you to know I’m happy for you two.“

And she meant it. Seeing how much her friend had changed, how complete she seemed, made Mayu feel a bit of that happiness too. Still, something inside her stirred… a feeling she didn’t know how to name. A quiet thought, wondering what it would be like to live like that, to feel that kind of connection. Not necessarily the romance itself, but whatever it was that made them glow when they were near each other.

Hana looked at her closely, as if reading her like a book.

“What is it?“

Mayu looked down, clutching the cushion in her lap.

“It’s nothing. Really.“

But just as Mayu knew Hana well, Hana knew her just as well, well enough to tell when something was being left unsaid.

“It has something to do with me and Shinya being together,“ she said, leaning in as if to catch what Mayu was trying to hide.

“I just... I’m not used to being around lovebirds.“

Hana pulled back a little, smirking like someone who had just cracked a code. Mayu had always been the teasing friend, treating everyone the same, no matter where she went. But Hana had noticed something had changed recently; someone had shaken her up and made her act in ways she didn’t recognize. And maybe, just maybe, that someone was the reason for the look in her eyes now.

“What about Tsubasa?“

Mayu’s eyes widened.

“What? What about Tsubasa all of a sudden?“

“Huh... haven’t you been talking to him?“ Hana nudged her lightly. “I just thought it was funny that day... you seemed totally different around him.“

She couldn’t hide the blush creeping up her cheeks, and Hana, noticing, simply waited.

“I haven’t really been talking to him, even though I want to... it’s like he doesn’t even notice me.“

“So why not be more direct?“ Hana asked.

“It’s just... with him, I can’t,“ Mayu said, more seriously than she intended. She went quiet for a few seconds. “It’s different.“

Shinya, who had been approaching with a bowl full of onigiri, paused when he heard the tone of her voice. He sat on the floor near the couch, listening closely.

“Different how?“ Hana asked gently.

“I’ve always been good at getting close to people, talking... teasing was always fun, you know? I’d get close, then pull away. But with Tsubasa...“ She hesitated.

Hana shifted closer beside her.

“You can’t do it with him, can you?“

Mayu groaned in frustration.

“No. I can’t. With him, I freeze. I think before I speak, and it’s awful. I’ve always been good at dealing with people, making others uncomfortable, and laughing about it. But Tsubasa is... different. He looks at me like he already knows everything I’m not saying. And I hate that. I hate it... and still, I want to be near him.“

She grabbed a pocky stick from the coffee table and bit into it, as if it might help her gather her thoughts.

“I think that’s what scares me. I always thought that kind of thing would never get to me, but then I start feeling these things... and when I’m near him, it’s like I feel protected, even when I can’t think straight.“

Hana smiled, understanding. She’d felt that too, that strange feeling that came with Shinya’s presence, where even in confusion, the world felt bearable just because he was there. A feeling that both unsettled and drew her closer again and again.

“I can’t really explain it,“ Hana said after a while. “But I feel like that around Shinya too. I don’t exactly know what it is, I just... feel good. He makes me laugh. And he makes me feel... safe. Even when everything around me feels like it’s falling apart.“

Mayu looked at her. She realized what she envied wasn’t the romance itself, but the way the two of them had let themselves fall, completely, without fear.

“Maybe... I’m just scared to feel anything,“ she confessed.

“Maybe that’s what love is,“ Shinya said from the floor, staring at his hands like he was thinking out loud. “Letting your feelings take over, and letting them guide you.“

Mayu looked at him, surprised. It wasn’t often that he spoke so openly, and somehow, his words landed exactly where they needed to.

The silence that followed was a comforting one, each lost in their own thoughts. Then, they followed through with the plan for the night, binging the drama they’d agreed to watch together.

By the time it was late, Mayu got up to leave, content after spending time with friends she could trust, friends who had listened with kindness and helped her begin to make sense of something even she didn’t fully understand yet.

When she said goodbye and left, Hana and Shinya remained in the quiet that had settled over the apartment, both lost in thought after such an honest, heartfelt night.

They looked at each other, as if their thoughts were aligned, and the same idea bloomed between them, a seemingly innocent suggestion that might just help their lost friend.

“What if I talked to Tsubasa?“ Shinya asked, still sitting on the floor.

“Do you think it'll be that easy?“

“I could try to get a read on him, see what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. If he’s confused too, I’ll be able to tell. And if he feels something for Mayu... I’ll see it.“

“You want to play cupid like your sister?“ Hana teased, laughing.

“Not exactly. I want Mayu to experience the same feeling I get when I’m with you.“

Hana grabbed a cushion from the couch and hid her face in embarrassment.

“I’ll just talk to him. Test the waters, and see how he reacts,“ Shinya added.

“I think that might actually be a good idea,“ Hana said.

Shinya stayed quiet, his gaze fixed on the spot Mayu had occupied moments earlier.

He knew that feeling well, that quiet, sweet confusion that comes before certainty. The kind that scared him, but also pushed him forward.

Maybe, he thought, helping Mayu was also a way to remember who he had been.

And to protect something that had once begun nameless inside him too.