Bland

“Hey Emuru, I have this weekend off, want to do something?” I asked.

“Sorry Nanashi, I’m a bit tired this week. I’ve been swamped with homework that I need to get caught up on.”

“Oh… ok.”

I looked over to her, noticing she had a guilty expression on her face.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” I said, “there’s always next weekend. I’ll try to see if I can ask Mrs. Yamabuki to release my shifts if you want to do something then instead. The shifts I work are pretty light anyway, and I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Her tint shifts to blue.

Huh? I thought, why?

“No… it’s not that,” she said, “it’s just that you’re usually not the one asking for us to do something, so I feel bad for rejecting you the one time you do.”

I paused.

The reasoning made sense, but for some reason I could tell she was lying—or at the very least, what she was saying wasn’t the full truth. There was something that seemed to trouble her, but I didn’t want to pry. After all, she always seemed to shut herself up if I tried to.

I sighed.

“Like I said; it’s alright,” I assured her, “I’ll try to see if Mrs. Hanasato wants to do something instead.”

She looks at me, her hue turning more blue.

“Your coworker?” she asked.

“...yeah… why?” I asked, confused at the response.

“No… nothing, it's fine. You should find ways to enjoy your weekend.”

“...okay,” I said, “I’ll get going now.”

“Stay safe!” she calls out as I leave our apartment.

Once I was far enough away, I let out a sigh.

A few more weeks had passed since Mrs. Yamabuki mentioned the mural she wanted painted, and she had already started hiring contractors to work on different parts of the building after business hours. A distant part of me wanted to be the one to paint the mural, but the part of me that was grounded in reality knew that I shouldn’t.

If I had art skills in the past, I certainly didn’t have them anymore, I reminded myself, if I was the one painting the mural and it ends up being bad, we would waste time and money.

Mrs. Yamabuki wasn’t really the type to get angry over that anyway, but I would still feel bad if I used the mural as a catalyst to test whether or not I still had my theoretical art skills.

As I walked down the street, I saw a nearby convenience store.

Come to think of it, I thought, stores like these sell small acrylic paint sets don’t they? Maybe I can buy some and test my skills using that instead.

I pulled out my wallet, looking inside.

Nah, maybe next paycheck, I thought.

Because I was living with Emuru now, the rent went up due to increased electricity and water usage, and because of that, I had to start gutting my already small paycheck to pay my fair share. At the moment, I didn’t have enough to spend too much for leisure, and I wanted to save what I had left for a small weekend vacation if I got the chance.

Besides, right now, I had another problem that’s been recently bugging my mind.

Lately, Emuru had been acting strange. I thought I had figured out our routine together, but over the past few weeks, she had become a lot quieter and less outgoing.

Maybe it’s the stress of the schoolwork, I reasoned, if I could help her out I would, but the things she’s working with are definitely outside my scale of knowledge. Maybe I should apply to college too at some point.

I think back to my wallet.

Nah, maybe after a year's worth of paychecks. And that’s if I budget smartly.

I looked at my watch to check the time.

Normally, Emuru and I would be going together to eat at the cafe right now before she headed off to school, but she didn’t look to be in the mood for that today, nor as of late. The last time we ate together at the cafe was about 2 weeks ago, and it was pretty stagnant even before that.

I walked into the cafe alone, making my way through the busy lines of people during the morning rush. Just as I thought, their forms had become a lot clearer to me, and it had been a while since I last saw a person that was even remotely blob-shaped.

“Mashiro!” a coworker says as she spots me, “Emuru didn’t come again today?”

I shook my head.

“No, she seems to be swamped with her schoolwork,” I said.

“Aw, that’s too bad. She was a pretty regular customer here before you came along so we’ll definitely miss her patronage, but at least you seem to have taken her spot in that regard.”

I snorted.

“I guess so.”

“Anyway, here’s your usual order,” she says, passing me a tray that she had prepared in advance.

On there were two melon buns and a cup of coffee—the same breakfast set that Emuru had ordered when we first came here together. It turns out that I didn’t actually hate the taste of coffee; Emuru had just purposely ordered espresso without any sweeteners or cream just to mess with me, and upon revisiting the drink on my own time, I discovered it wasn’t so bad without the good parts missing.

“Thanks,” I said, “is Mrs. Hanasato back there today?”

“Himari? No, she’s not. I think she got sick recently, so she’s been out of commission for a while.”

“Oh…” I murmured.

Outside of her and Emuru, there wasn’t really anyone else I was close to.

“Then what about you? Would you be free to do something this weekend?”

“Me?” she asked, “no, sorry Mashiro, I have a dentist appointment. What about next week?”

“Hmm, I don’t know yet, I’ll have to see.”

“Oh, ok then. Enjoy your meal.”

I took my order and sat down on the same table Emuru and I had first sat at, and took a bite out of the melon bun.

It wasn’t as sweet as the first time I tasted it.

I sighed.

I was lonely—probably lonelier than I ever felt back when the world was just a blank canvas of black and white, and not only that—I was also more bored than ever. Following the routine of these people that lived in the normal world had quickly become so mundane.

I looked out the window and onto the streets, watching people walk together and the occasional car stroll by.

Was this the life I wanted back then? Were these the colors I dreamed of? It’s as if the amount of colors and fun in the world had swapped when I adapted back to the real world. There were a lot more colors and things in my world now, but somehow life had become more boring.

The morning sun reflected off the windows of the nearby small buildings as the sun rose up in the sky, and as I took another bite out of my melon bun the only thing that came to my mind was—

Bland.

                                                                  -✧─✦-. ⁺【❤】⁺ .-✦─✧-

I silently made my way back to our shared apartment, trudging along the concrete sidewalk.

Emuru didn’t wait for me at the bus stop again today didn’t she? I thought, it’s like she’s been avoiding me.

I didn’t want to think too much about it.

Maybe she’s just stressed, I keep chalking it up. I couldn’t explain the sudden aversion otherwise.

As I walked through the doors, I was taken by surprise upon seeing Emuru seemingly waiting by the doorway for me, but nothing could surprise me more than the next words that came out of her mouth.

“I want you to go out with me.”

“What?”

“I said, I want you to go out with me.”

The words flew past my ears.

“This weekend?” I asked, “where do you want to go?”

For a second, Emuru doesn’t say anything.

Her expression was strange—one that I only ever saw twice on her, and one that I still haven’t recognized nor differentiated from the rest. Her current emotions were veiled in a tint of gray, meaning she wasn’t sad, nor angry, nor happy, nor any of the emotions between the three.

“No, I mean in a serious way,” she says.

“A serious way?”

“Like a way in which we take the time to get to know each other.”

“Uh… sure?” I said.

I like the sound of that, I thought.

I realized that despite spending over a month together now, I still didn’t really know anything about her, past her routines and the fact that she was a college student.

Maybe that’s why she’s been avoiding me, I reasoned, because despite spending so long together, we really haven’t gotten to know each other—although I suppose a part of it’s because I don’t really know much about myself either.

Emuru still silently stands there however, her strange expression unchanging, but after a while, she takes a deep breath and says, “okay. How about an aquarium?”

“Haven’t we already been to the aquarium here?” I asked.

Emuru shakes her head before flashing two tickets out from her purse.

“I was thinking about a more upscale one, closer to the center of Tokyo.”