Acceleration ✧ 1

As the date of the first show rapidly approached us, it was time to set the circus tent. It was a very lucky thing that I happened to be fronting that day, I had been looking forward to helping out with this particular task and wishing for it many days beforehand.

Now if only I could be sure that my prayers would be answered for not wanting to front during show nights too… at least for the first one.

“You've been practicing as well, it will be alright~”

“But like, not the very first show, please. I could handle allll of the rest if I have to… just not the first one…”

“...I understand. I kinda agree, the idea of the very first show is just too nerve-racking, isn’t it?”

“It’s an unavoidable fact that one of us will have to do it after all…”

When we arrived at the location of the performance, I saw that it was a vast open space next to a park. It was rare to find such an unoccupied area in the capital, so I wondered if this place was often used by circuses and the like. It's not like we were the only troupe out there.

“Ooh, an open air concert next to the fresh vibe of the park would also be lovely~”

The trucks carried the seats, the tent, and all the decorations needed to build our circus. Like a row of ants, everyone helped carry and build the performance ring bit by bit. It was extremely satisfying to see it all come together… as long as I put aside the constant, nagging thought that we would be in the very center of it in a mere few days of time.

I was not used to such deep feelings of anxiety. I desperately tried to remind myself that it was not my issue right now and we would just have to face it directly when the time came to be.

The fact that our family would come and watch was even more embarrassing. At least, they had arranged the date to be the third show, so I hoped we would be somewhat used to the spotlight by then.

Rai would switch between being negatively nervous and positively excited like a yo-yo. She would constantly ramble to herself picturing our narration of the show, and while it had annoyed me at first, I didn't give it any attention after a while. I wouldn't even register her voice.

“Mimi! Mimi!!!”

“What. Do you want to talk about how beautiful the smiling faces of the audience will be for the millionth time?”

“No! I just wanted to ask how you're faring. You've carried quite a lot of items.”

“Oh, that. Honestly, I wish there were more things to do. It ended a bit too quickly with everyone working together. I could do with five more cars full of decorations.”

“Even though we share the same body muscles, I don't think I'd be this motivated…”

“It's all about enjoying the process.”

“Yeah… I don't think it'd work out for me, then…”

I shrugged. Today was probably the most fun I had with the circus. I also had to admit that it had brought out the sentimental side of me. As Rai had put it before… it felt great to be a part of something.

When we returned to our ‘home’, we found that the costume prep had been completed. All the outfits lined up side to side, looking clean and sparkly got my little fashionista heart racing. Even though I had seen mine in the hands of Nilsu as she worked on it many times before, seeing it hanging on the rack… I couldn't help myself from letting the fabric glide through my fingers softly, examining all the details.

She was truly talented. How did she make something of this quality in such a short time? Not to mention, she had made other outfits for some new performances as well…

“If she had more time, I'm sure she could create even more amazing outfits!”

“No doubt…”

I was itching to try it on. As I tried to ignore Rai going on a monologue about how she felt during getting her measurements taken by Nilsu a week ago, I tried to search for the orange buddy to ask if I could put it on. Maybe there would be things she wanted to fix as I wore it, plus it felt like it'd be disrespectful to wear it without her permission, somehow.

As I walked around the corridors, entering and leaving different rooms, I noticed that the air was very off in the entire building. Somehow, no one was smiling, and everyone had a look of worry on their faces.

“W-wuh… did something happen? Is someone hurt?”

“I should probably ask someone… let's put aside the topic of our outfit for now.”

As I was wondering who to ask, I spotted someone standing in front of a closed door, looking very uncharacteristically solemn. My heart sank at the sight… it was Dr Moti.

“Oh, damn… something definitely happened…”

“Go talk to him now! Oh no, oh no… who got hurt?!”

He took off his green framed glasses, and started cleaning them in order to occupy himself. He kept on mumbling “poor child, poor child”. Feeling almost scared to learn what exactly had happened while we were away, I approached with soft steps to not startle him.

“Dr Moti…”

He raised his head, and put his glasses back on once he realized who I was.

“Oh, Miss Mirai. Hello…”

I swallowed the lump of nerves stuck on my throat and asked the question both me and Rai wanted to know about, even if apprehensively.

“Everyone seems so down, did something happen…?”

He smiled, albeit a rather bittersweet looking one. “Ah, no one is seriously hurt, so no need to worry.”

Was that supposed to make me feel better?

“Ask more about it, quick!!!”

“Okay, okay, ugh… I was going to, even if you didn't say it.”

I let out a sigh and recomposed myself. “Dr Moti, would it be okay to ask what exactly happened? Is there anything we can do?”

His eyebrows changed their position to form a worried look. “It's just… it's Rudi. The poor child has broken his antlers again.”

Broken… how?

“Again…?”

Me and Rai both had so many things we wanted to ask about, but felt trying to get more information would be disrespectful, as this was Rudi’s personal matter. However, Dr Moti actually revealed more about it himself.

“He's done that a few times before, so I'm sure things will be alright. It just… feels so upsetting that no matter what, he chooses to do it.”

I didn't know how to respond. So he had broken them himself, and not as an accident…?

“I know it more than anyone else how he does his best to accept himself, to take good care of himself. But I suppose… sometimes it gets a bit too much for him. I don't know…”

He rubbed his temples, and that's when I noticed that he was sweating like crazy.

“It's my job to ensure he's fine, but I always fail, always…”

I bit my lip. I was terrible at reassuring people, but I just couldn't stand to watch the childlike doctor suffer like this and blame himself.

“Rai, any ideas on what to say? Help me out here.”

She was silently spectating, possibly feeling too stunned to speak. Despite that, she slowly spoke up.

“Mimi… there's too many things we don't know about the situation. I don't want to accidentally suggest something that would make him feel worse.”

Well… I guess I had to act according to my own devices here. I decided to turn the focus from the doctor himself to Rudi.

“Dr Moti… I don't think he is blaming you, he wouldn't even think of that. You are not a failure, nor is he. As you said before, if this had happened before, I'm sure he will recover soon. And perhaps, one day he won't feel the need to do this anymore.”

He looked at me, his eyes slightly moist from his intense emotions.

“Miss Mirai…”

I gave him a reassuring nod. “He is a strong one, I can say that confidently even though I've only recently got to become his friend. Just please, tell me this one thing… how much does he get hurt when he does this?”

He didn't seem to expect me to ask this, but he answered nonetheless. “From… what he has told me before, the moment he breaks them, it doesn't hurt him, in fact he barely feels a thing. However, when they regrow, that process does cause him a lot of anguish.”

I nodded. “Then all we have to do is to ensure that he gets through the regrowth period as smoothly as possible. Please, let me know if there's anything I can do.”

Dr Moti softly smiled, and told me that he'd call me if he ever needed anything.

I had one more thing I wanted to add. I took a breath and let it fill me with confidence.

“And, please inform me about his schedule. I'll take over any of his interviews and promotional talks.”

“...Mimi!”

My words made both Rai and the doctor gasp softly. I knew how uncharacteristic it was for me to offer such a thing. I didn't care.

All I knew was that I wanted to help him, any way I could.

“My my… I've been holding back my tears all this time, but I think this was my limit.”

He chuckled, overcome with emotion. A few tears glided down his cheek. Taking out a handkerchief from his white coat, he said he would inform me as soon as he could. He added that he wouldn't let Rudi know about this for the time being, as he would feel guilty and that could possibly make his emotionally unstable state worse.

“Such a kind and considerate child he is… makes me happy that he got to meet someone thoughtful like him. Thank you, Miss Mimi.”

Seemed like he had realized it was me who was fronting. I smiled.

“There's no need to thank me. Relay my get well soon wishes to him.”

“Mine too, mine too…!”

Relaying Rai’s words, and adding that the doctor should take it easy without feeling guilty, we left. We still needed to find Nilsu, after all.

As we kept on searching, we spotted Ivone and Rokuta sitting together. She was talking in a language I didn't understand, but her expression made it clear enough what the discussion was about.

Ivone would always be one of the first people to react when someone felt troubled or got injured, even if lightly.

It was no wonder this would affect her, as well…