Yatro: Sometimes we need to stray, to truly find our way home

How long did it take Ases to reach the surface again? He didn’t know. For the longest, longest time, all he could see was darkness. He wasn’t sure if he was going up or down until he finally had reached the water. When the ceiling collapsed over him, he made sure to keep his body upright so he wouldn’t lose direction, but even then, he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to get out.

But eventually, he did.

When he came out on the surface he looked around. Water as far as the eye can see. Not a single trace of land anywhere.

He despaired, but as he floated in the tranquil waters, something came out in his head.

He joined his hands and prepared to chant, but then stopped himself. If he dared to invoke Mors, he would probably die right there and then.

He wanted to apologize, truly. To beg on her knees and express how much he regretted what had happened, but no amount of apologies could take back what had transpired.

How futile it all seemed now. He killed Todo to maintain hope for the future alive, but now, he still had no hope left. The world was still sinking in the waters, and the time for they to live had not gotten even a second longer.

He stayed there, floating in the water, trying to put his thoughts in order, but could not come out with anything in the clear.

Eventually, although he did not dare to call her for help, she did use his bit of power to try and locate her. To think of that part of himself that he always rejected, and find that power that resonated with it far away.

Eventually, he started swimming.

Days could no longer go by in a world without day or night, but he could feel that it had been a long, long time. When he reached solid ground, he recognized the place he was in now. He took hold of the rocky border he found and pulled himself out of the water. The place he had arrived to were the ruins of where a great bustling city had been once upon a time. Now, only ruins, and a beautiful view that showed the waters far away the last time he was there.

After that, he could only walk. His mind was working overtime in trying to keep itself shut, of not thinking how long it must have passed for the water to have reached Medio, and what that foretold for the time he had left now.

He wanted to rest, to collapse and never move again, but he could not stop.

Eventually, he reached Yatro.

The city looked like it had seen better days. He did not want to deal with the people, with Wisdom, nor with Mors. He could only hope that she would not visit him again, and that Raz had been fine in his absence.

Raz… how big of a fool he had been.

He gave his all again to suppress the thoughts, walking steadily until he reached the house he had abandoned in a rush who knows how long ago. The door was locked, but he did not have the patience to figure out how to open it, so he broke it and allowed himself in.

The noise seemed to have attracted someone, a head peeking from the doorframe, belonging to the one person he was most afraid of facing until now.

“Ases!”

She threw herself at him, and as tired as he was, he could not keep himself upright when she did. Both of them fell into the ground, just outside the house.

Raz tried to speak, but no words came out. No words would have been able to share the depth of the worry she had been through during those months Ases disappeared, the fear that she may never see him again, as the end approached nearer everytime.

Ases felt his heart break when he noticed the pain she had been through, but although he hated himself for it, a weight also lifted. He didn’t know what he would have done if she had received him with anger and scorn. He wasn’t sure that he would have been able to take it.

He hugged her back, and the two of them remained on the ground until the cries of a baby reminded them both of where they were.

Ases rose back, helping Raz to stand up, and the two of them wordlessly walked back in. He followed the source of the cries, and he saw her. His daughter was crying in the crib that they had prepared for her so long ago now. He got near her, and with a sliver of doubt, took her in his hands.

His hands were enormous, so much that the baby felt as if it was a doll more than a human, for a few moments. But when his daughter looked at him, and stopped crying, he was the one who started to cry.

He pampered her, calmed her down, and when she fell asleep, he left her back in the crib.

Him and Raz returned to the living room, sitting down in silence, not knowing where to even start.

Finally, Raz found the words she wanted to say.

“Resa”

Ases looked at her, unsure of what she meant.

“I think Resa would be a good name for her.”

Ases understood, wondering a little bit what to say, but simply nodded in the end.

“It’s a beautiful name.”

With that, silence sunk in the room again.

“I’m sorry for leaving.”

This time it was Ases. And just like with him, Raz simply watched him. The difference is that her gaze bore holes in him, as if she was measuring his reactions to gauge his honesty.

“I don’t have any excuses, as what I did was a mistake, plain and simple.” He went on. “I panicked, thinking about how little time we had and… how little time Resa has.”

He paused for a moment, unsure of what to say. He left without a word when Raz was going through what was probably the most distressing moment of her entire life. There simply were no words that could salvage that.

“I didn’t think it through, and committed a mistake, when looking for the Goddess. I was sent very, very far away, and only now managed to return. I promise, I did everything I could to return as soon as I could. When what I had done fully sunk in, I fully noticed how foolish I had been.”

After a while, Ases didn’t dare look at her eyes. He simply could not.

“There’s nothing I can do to take that time back now. I don’t even know how long it was, but I abandoned you and Resa, I left you alone to take care of her and Herm. There’s nothing I can say that can make it better. I’m so, so sorry. For everything I have done.”

He finished, and then closed his eyes. Raz still said nothing, silence feeling as oppressive as the water he had escaped from to return.

Eventually, he felt her hand on his shoulder.

“It's good to have you back.”

He could not believe the words he heard. Just how forgiving could she be? He looked at her, but he did not see forgiveness in his eyes. It was painful.

“I thought I would never see you again.”

Just like they had before, they embraced. Unwilling to stay even a second away from each other. Without breaking apart, she went on.

“To be honest, I was angry. Profoundly so, like you can’t imagine. But when night came and I had to go to bed alone, I could only think about how much I wanted you to be back. We have so little time left, and you simply had left.”

She was crying, he was trying to coo her, letting her cry on his shoulder.

That was the thought he had avoided ever since he escaped from the waters. All the time he had wasted. He had found what he wanted, and still managed to screw everything for them one last time.

He had no idea how much time was left, but at the very least, he felt like nothing could ever pry him away from them. He was going to stay with them to the end, that was the promise he made.

Time went on, and neither of them returned to the city. They had all they needed back there, and limited time to enjoy each other's company.

When everything was said and done, everything they could want for had always been there.