Souvenirs of Apples

The very first file hadn't a name but instead a date. It used an outdated calendar system, but I could tell from the day and month what this video was about. She had just been born.

Her mom was holding her as she slept soundly; her dad recorded

Her mom whispered, "Hello my little apple bean. I don't know when you'll see these videos, but your father and I wanted to make them in case we don't get to be your parents for very long. No one is guaranteed tomorrow—illness or otherwise. These videos are yours to keep, hopefully. You can do whatever and show whomever you want with these. If anyone else is watching, then hello to you as well, take care of my daughter, okay? Listen Yoru, one of the best things in life is being able to reminisce about the 'good ol' days' without missing them, remember that you were a part of them." [...]

There were plenty of videos of Ringomori's infant and toddler stage, but I didn't have the time to view them all; she was going to be discharged from the hospital tomorrow. After scrolling down, I eventually came across a video with a title. I only clicked on the ones that interested me.

Baking Together! {Oct. 19th}

The camera was placed by her mom on the kitchen's windowsill, the entire kitchen was in shot. Ringomori seemed small and young with bobbed hair; most likely a first grader. She was helping her mom create a special dessert for the first time, a dessert she loved eating and wanted to create herself. The catalyst of our relationship. [...]

First Friend Comes Over! {Nov. 05th}

Nearly a year later. Her mom was recording Ringomori—who now had a lengthy ponytail—playing in the front yard, backyard, and inside the house with a friend for the first time. The kid was a rambunctious one, his smile permanently drawn on his face; get it together.

Her mom commented, "Look at you go, my apple bean. I knew you were an expressive girl around your father and I, but you've always seemed distant to the other kids in your grade. I'm glad this one, I think his name is Vi-Vieira-san, was able to see this side of you. It doesn't matter if you have hundreds or just one, as long as you have someone who's able to give you the chance to see the joys of turning a stranger into a friend."

She turned the lens away from the kids to herself. She had the same cinnamon hair down to her shoulders, and her red lipstick completely accentuated her bright white teeth when she spoke.
"If I'm unable to do this in the future because life has parted with me, I'd like you, my apple bean, to do this for me. Thank your friend for being that first someone to you. I hope he'll continue to get along with you no matter what. If you're still best friends after high school, you might as well get married; only joking. Fufu." [...]

Joint Birthdays! {Nov. 07th}

Ringomori's mom pulled down one of the blinds of the living room window. Her daughter and I were walking back from school and walking up the driveway where I questioned why my dad's car was parked there. She closed the blind and the inside of the room was dark.

Ringomori opened the door and the lights switched on all at once.

"Happy birthday!" shouted a culmination of voices.

"Mom? Dad?"

"Mother? Father?"

Our parents met for the first time. Ringomori's mom recorded the entire event, from the setup to the surprise where she and her ill husband met my parents, to her and her daughter baking another pan roasted apple cake for all of us to share. [...]

A few more videos involved Ringomori and I bonding at her house. There was one conversation that her mom and I had during one occasion.

She said, "You're here quite often, aren't you? It's like this is your second home. I hope it's not causing any inconvenience with your parents."

"It's okay, Nabana-san. Both my parents work until sunset, so I'd be very lonely if I went home straight after school. This was better—Ah, but I hope I'm not bein' a burden by imposin' on you like this. Maybe I could lessen my visits."

"No need," she said. "You're always welcomed to this house, you and your parents. Like you at home, my apple bean would be very lonely if she came home by herself. Since I'm not always here and her father is very ill, she'd have no one else if not for you."

As I watched more videos of us teaching each other how to bake and draw, I started to vividly remember those days; we barely improved since.

It works, I thought. She'll remember with this.

Goodbye, Husband and Father. {Dec. 22nd}

Her dad passed away when we were eight years old. I remembered attending the funeral with my parents. It was a small venue, but even then the bereaved couldn't fill the seats.

The ceremony itself wasn't filmed, only a moment after Ringomori came home with her mom. She'd taken the camera from her parents' room and decided to say a few words. Tears freshly cascading down her cheeks as her runny nose descended on her upper lip. Her words were not meant for my ears, so I skipped over the video until the camera was back in her mom's hand.

"My little apple bean's become depressed, haven't you? I'm not doing too well either, but I still have enough to stay strong for you. Your happiness is mine, and I think I know a way to brighten your eyes a bit. You've been listening to this band called RONselia, and they released a vinyl for Christmas this year. Before passing, your father and I pitched in to buy one."

It took a while to get through the grieving stage, but maybe through the espouse of my parents, the vinyl, and her mom she was able to become giddy again. Of course I tried my best to cheer her up too, but give credit where credit's due. [...]

Years of videos had times of us bonding, with moments even outside her home. She watched me play soccer in the youth league and we strolled through shopping malls together. There was even a time we were at a zoo, where I beat one of those robot goalkeeper challenges and won a stuffed horse for her.

After the day of my mom's birthday in the newly opened pie shop—CLARIS—Ringomori's mom asked her what she thought of me.

"I like him a lot," she said.
My cheeks tickled pink.

"Why do you like him?"

"Hmm," she pondered. "There's plenty of answers. He makes me laugh, even when he's not trying to. I never feel angry or sad when I'm with him, though I sometimes get sad when he leaves. He helped me a lot when father passed away. He's really lit up my life when things have gotten dark. He's the light of my life."

"Hey, that's what I called your father when we first met. I understand what you mean, but for you and him, there's probably a better way to describe him. What about this saying, the apple of your eye?"

Ringomori's eyes widened, her mouth just as much.

"I love that!"

In secret, her mom whispered to the camera, "I think I might've seen my little apple bean fall in love. You're still too young to call it love, but even so, I look forward to seeing where this relationship leads to."

Her daughter's sweet smile was simple and pure. If only things stayed that way.

Then that day happened.

There was a string of videos titled, First Friend Gone: {1-7}

They were about my accident. The first video had her alone in the front yard.

Her mom said, "I's been a few days since the Vieira family accident. You've been sulking in the front yard underneath the apple tree or playing the vinyl on repeat in your room. We planned to celebrate their eleventh birthday at CLARIS after we celebrated for a bit at our home. Chamaru's family was going back to their home to change because you two played in the dirt and water, then we were going to meet at the pie shop. They were fifteen minutes late without notification, and the more time that passed, the more worrisome we got. You told me you were scared they were standing us up. It wasn't until later that night that we found out what happened. You felt horrible for thinking he'd intentionally leave you."

Another video had them return from visiting me during my coma.

"I think you've developed a fear of being forgotten, Yoru. You're afraid of the worst reality coming true, to be forgotten by someone you liked so much. I'd hear you in your room talking to no one, perhaps imagining him still being there. Every morning you'd ask me if you could skip school to see him. You've practiced baking more and more just for him."

A voiceover inserted by Ringomori's mom was put here.
"When Maru-chan wakes up, I'll be there to give him the best apple cake I've ever made!"

On screen was her smile. Her signature smile; pearly white teeth and open red lips. The one I'd seen in my first life, the one I started to see again months ago. The smile that I lost, the one I was trying to get back.

Another video showcased Ringomori leaving a Toki apple, matcha tea, and her apple cake on a trolley. The date of this video was the day I woke up. I never got to eat any of the gifts she brought me, if only I did.

The next video was what her mom described as devastating.

"I've spent the past few hours consoling you. You've been bawling your eyes out nearly as much as when your father passed. It was like you lost someone else, well, you did. Chamaru was still alive, thank goodness for that, but you had lost the version of him that remembered you. Your worst reality has come true." [...]

"You can't bear to see him again, it's too painful. You're in denial, you don't want to face reality. I'm worried for you. I'm getting sicker and I don't know how long I'll hold out for." [...]

"Chamaru's had to move from his apartment nearby here to an orphanage across the city, which means he'll be in a different school. I know you don't want to be alone, but there's nothing I can do. You asked me if we can move too, if you can transfer to his school. You've tried to find many ways to see him because you believe you say you can make him remember you. I admire your determination, which makes it difficult to turn you down."

She was forgotten and lost her only friend.

Her mom put the camera down and clasped her hands.
"Chamaru, I know the chances of you seeing this is near zero, but if by some miracle you are, hear my request. Please, no matter how many weeks, months, or years it takes, please remember her. I won't be here for my little apple bean much longer, so I need you to take over for me in watching over her. I'm not afraid of death, only worried about my daughter's future. You are the apple of her eye."

I replayed that moment two more times, the second time I noticed a ring at the bottom of the video bar. It said that this moment was the most replayed moment of the entire video, even before I watched it. After the video about the passing of her mom, Ringomori began to use the camera herself.

Souvenirs of Apples was a biography turned auto. I was vicariously living her life through the eyes of her mom and herself. The next array of videos was her life as an orphan. The solitary, the gloom, the darkness that surrounded her, I'd discovered all that she'd gone through.

She couldn't move on, make another friend, or let go. She'd gone through what I was currently going through, except her situation was much more dire, because there wasn't hope for her. For all she knew, the apple of her eye withered away, blinding her to the progression of time. For me, I knew there was still a chance, but I was simply too cowardly to take it. My hell was gray, hers was unthinkable.

She was currently in her bedroom at the orphanage.
"In memory...of my parents...and the apple of my eye...I've decided to...to keep recording videos… To keep the tradition...alive."

Already struggling with her fears, now with the death of both her parents, she was forgotten and without friends and family; all alone. She had to move out of her home and sell a few valuable items to pay for the cremation of her mother. Her time at the orphanage wasn't a breeze either. She failed to meet expectations of adopter families and was constantly lectured for being burdensome. Her grades in school were still high, but she failed to interact with anyone and appeared standoffish to attract new friends.

These videos were her coping mechanism. A way to make herself believe her empty eyes weren't seeing her orchards slowly rot away. Her mom spoke directly to her, the way Ringomori spoke to the camera made me think she had an audience of her own, but no one was ever specified.

Her update videos were spaced out and trivial, with minor guest appearances from the Shizuko family. Her therapy was to deal with depression and her fear. She wished and wanted to join her parents, wondering why she had to be the healthiest of them all. Every time she had a checkup at the hospital, a part of her hoped for the news that she was destined for a way out. Her eyes saw no hope, she was being torn apart like paper in the rain.

Then she figured out one reason for why she may have been given the best chance of living. That reason turned into her first apple trivia. She sat at her desk with piles of science books.

"Some studies have shown that consuming apples regularly may cause your risk of fatal diseases, such as diabetes and heart disease and cancer, to attenuate. See, on this page here it summarizes antioxidant compounds found in apples—such as quercetin—are beneficial in preventing harmful diseases from becoming fatal. Now that I have the videos to look back on, I've noticed how often my parents wanted me to like apples and eat them daily. They put their hopes on this fruit, and I was wasting it by wishing for my potential diseases to kill me. I'm the worst." [...]

In her dark bedroom, with only the setting sun to light her face to the camera, she said, "Shizuko-sensei has diagnosed me with depression. Now I have to take prescription medication to treat it. Honestly, the diagnosis itself isn't surprising to me, but rather the fact Shizuko-sensei said I could've been diagnosed way back since when my father died. It was easier to handle back then, I had someone for that." [...]

She stopped her other passions and hobbies, having no one to share them. A year and a half's worth of drastic life-changing videos later, I got to when I was brought into the orphanage.

"He...He's here! The apple of my eye is here! I...I don't know what to do, but I can't believe he's here!"

I hadn’t known I meant this much to her when we crossed paths the first few times. It was evident I didn't see her any differently to the other orphans, but she didn't want to confirm it. She disheveled her hair and constantly fanned her face from stress.

"I want to talk to him outside of his duty, but if I do and confirm he's still forgotten me, I might just break down. My life was dreary but now it's sinking. What should I do? I don't want my fear of being forgotten to be realized, but unless I approach him again, we'll never be friends again—or anything more."

It wouldn't be until our joint birthday that confirmed her worst fears, but that didn't put her at a complete stop.

She said, "Shizuko-sensei asked me if I'm willing to restart our relationship in order to get past my fear and be friends with him again. We agreed it was impossible for him to remember his memories after five years, so this was the only option. […] It hurts. A part of me doesn't want to relinquish my feelings for him because I know it'll be too painful, but mayhaps it's better to give up on him altogether… But while he might not know it, I know he's suffering too. His mind may have forgotten his old life, but his heart surely hasn't." [...]

"At first, I struggled for a bit to decide if I should restart anew. I'm scared to ruminate about the heavy burdens I'd carry knowing our previous friendship is only one-sided, and to exacerbate things further, when I did speak to him, I realized I was still in love with him." [...]

"It's only when we started to talk a bit more because we met at CLARIS—he doesn't seem to remember that place—and I figured out he's been diagnosed with depression too that I decided to plant a new orchard in my memory sanctuary. One about this new version of him that might become a new apple. […] I do feel selfish, for wanting to be friends with him just so we can pick up where we left off and my feelings for him can be valid again. I have to denounce that selfishness because this isn't just about me, but him too. He was something to me, the apple of my eye, he needs someone to be something to him too."

She took a deep breath and clenched her fists.
"My goal isn't to get him to remember, but to make him happy with our new relationship. I know he's like me, not alone but lonely, unique in a world of uniqueness, on a quest to try and find someone similar to connect to."

My gut felt like it was forcefully twisting around inside my body.
How pathetic am I? I gave up so easily compared to her, but she's been dealin' with this for years. I was angry at her, thinkin' I had it worse, but my worst reality was better in comparison.

Maruyama. {June 20th}

This video was longer in length than the videos before. Unlike her mom, who had split videos into twenty-minute parts, Ringomori would group these outings together into lengths that reached nearly or over an hour.

She was sitting on a bench at the park holding a few apples in her hand.

"He's still the good listener he's always been, lending an ear to my ranting of apples and their varieties and origins on the walk here. Will this new him enjoy this fruit as much as before? There weren't any Toki apples at the market, so I bought these Kougyoku ones instead. I have a few pillows and a knife to hopefully cut some snacks once we reach the peak. That's all I brought for us today. It's our first outing together, so I'm somewhat nervous and kind of clueless as to how to approach it."

She stared at the red apple in her hand.
"This isn't my favorite apple; I wonder if he'd know my—Huh? Vieira...-san?!"

I heard myself in the background.
"I-I'm back."

In her voiceover during our walk around the park, she said, "I had the urge to tell him about the time we came to the zoo here, but I resisted. This was difficult to do, I had to keep convincing myself that it is okay to start over."

The rest of the video was of our lap around the park and our trek up the mountain. Then came the part where I sneakily showed my drawing without her noticing. Her reaction was live.

"What?! He showed this to the camera? What a sly worm, I'll send him a picture of it and call him that! […] Fufu, he might not remember, but he acted similar to how he did in second grade."

Ario Sapporo Mall. {Aug. 05th}

The video began with our separated browse of the first floor, then cut to when she was at the flower stand where the worker approached her. This must've been around the time I was trying to reach her.

The worker asked, "Are ya here by yourself or with someone else? Ya seem to be staring at those flowers awfully close."

"I...I am here with someone. Some...Someone I liked."

"Ehh, is that so? Looking to buy them flowers, the orange ones are ya best bet."

"Oh...no, I will not be buying any...today."

"Ehh? Is it a guy? If I were him, I'd get these for ya. Unless there's something else only the two of ya cherish. Ya have something like that, what is he to ya?"

"I...I...I..."

"Ringomori-san!" I shouted in the distance.

The camera turned around and I could see myself rushing towards her.

"Cha—Vieira-san! You...You found me."

She then recorded the moment we entered the arcade, where I discovered that she listened to the same band that I did.

"Right here, I wanted to tell him that I was the one to introduce him to the band. Of course I couldn't, but that didn't occlude that fear from getting to me. I tried to keep it hidden the whole day, but I should've known he'd notice something was wrong." [...]

"After we ate at the food court, he said his favorite food was orange chicken, after saying he didn't have one before eating it. He said he changed his mind because he remembered something, is that a coincidence or did he actually remember from before the accident? If it's the latter, that brings up a dilemma. If he can remember his favorite food, could he also remember me? But if he does, would he question why I didn't tell him? Would he be disgruntled? Should I tell him now? I don't want to keep lying to him, but mayhaps by not telling him, I'd be protecting him? Yes, right?"

The following video was dated in September. It was about the peer outing she had with the Shizuko family. She had just finished her apple trivia and rewound time back a few nights.

"Vieira-kun's just told me that a friend of his has gotten hold of a RONselia vinyl. I nearly blurted out that it must've been mine, but I was confused as to if I should admit that or not. Every time I'm with him, I truly want to announce our past, but I hold it down to stargaze with him. If I told him the truth, how would it affect our relationship now?" [...]

"If I tell him and he still doesn't have any memories of it, how would he act knowing half of his life with me isn't remembered?" [...]

"The person I was before was far better than the person I am now, if he did remember that, would he be disappointed with what he's stuck with now?" [...]

"Ugh, now I'm more addled. I'm afraid of his reaction if he's angry. I...I'll just do nothing. I'm selfish. I won't blame him if he erupts at me, it's all my fault. I had a window of opportunity to be truthful and I missed it." [...]

"Whoops, I've really dampened the mood, huh? That's not how I should be making these videos. I'll be better next time; I'm going to sleep now. I hope no one has to go through something like this." [...]

Sports Day. {Oct. 09th}

The first few minutes were of both our events and her summary of them. This was the first video that didn't have much footage of our outings since the only things captured were each of our one and only events. Most of the video was what followed the outing, which was of her in her bedroom.

"I met the aforementioned Hara-san and his sweet mother at Vieira-kun's school. It felt nice to meet new people, people that cared for him. I could sense a bit of kinship between him and them. Vieira-kun also told me Hara-san and his mother have experienced the loss of family like us, it makes me happy to know they are still supporting each other strongly." [...]

"Speaking of Vieira-kun, he did so well in soccer. The moves he pulled off today felt almost identical to the one I used to see him do when we were kids. I cheered so loudly now that I look back at it, but I wonder if he noticed." [...]

"At my school, it was the first time I had him watch me do a physical challenge, since I only picked up running only recently to fight my depression." [...]

"To tell the truth, I feel like I'm going to have another episode soon. There's just too much contained inside me, not a day goes by where I wasn't worried about something. I feel like I'm doing something illegal, it hurts. A...Anyways, my apple trivia for today will involve a demonstration."

She brought in a yellow apple and showed it to the camera.
"The skin color of Toki apples are yellow overall but can turn light pink with sunlight. This is because of their parentage: Ōrin x Fuji apples. Ōrin apples are pale greenish-yellow and look like they have freckles. That was easy to remember because I often saw into them." [...]

There was a short video without a title and only a date. She had puffy eyes, blushed cheeks, and a rosy nose.

"It's past midnight, today was a good and bad day. Vieira-kun just left my room and I needed to say this on camera before going to sleep. My emotions exploded today, they weren't supposed to, there was a moment where he yelled at me and that put me over the breaking point. It wasn't his fault, he didn't mean to yell, I just broke down because it brought some deprecating memories back. I made him feel bad when it wasn't even his fault, but it looked like he was also struggling with things, mayhaps to do with his memory? Either way, we apologized to each other and everything seems okay now. We made plans to do one big outing. I'm excited for it, I'm happy." [...]

"As we figured out what to plan for the trip, I noticed something. I knew this Vieira Chamaru was different from the one I knew before, but he was still similar to this new me. The two of us were the same to each other now, but different to each other before. Every time I looked at him, heard him speak, felt his warmth, smelled and tasted stuff with him, I was looking at this new him. I wasn't still in love with him, I'd fallen in love with him again. It's different this time, this time he wasn't just the apple of my eye. He deserves a better title, and hopefully our next outing will help me create something." [...]

Aomori! {Nov. 07th}

Her commentary as we rode the ferry and explored the park was like watching a promotional video for each place. It didn't provide much for her inner feelings, but that didn't mean I didn't love to hear her ecstatic voice.

She'd finally become the girl she was meant to be. The girl to wander free in the apple orchards. The next interesting segment was when she baked her apple cake in the bakery with the female worker. With her consent, Ringomori recorded the entire process; I hadn't known until now.

While watching her bake, the worker asked Ringomori, "Do ye'have a secret ingredient you add to this dessert to increase its potency?"

"Yes...I do. Timing. The timing of the batter...the timing of the apples...the timing of everything matters. The only way to know the perfect is by seeing it...not with your eyes, but with your other senses. Most of all, I see it with the sense of...love. I hope this will awaken something in us [Him]."

"What?" [...]

Since she intended to record my reaction to her apple cake, the camera unintentionally captured the "argument" we had in the hotel room. While I stormed out for being a coward, she stayed inside alone, contemplating aloud.

"It's my fault," she said.
Her head sunk in her hands as she continued to sulk on the floor.
"My wavering and weak resolve led to his irate confusion. If only I had told him. My fears, my loneliness, my depression, I thought it was only affecting me, but it was also affecting him. My choices did this to him. The worst result would be if he were to become lonely again. I deserved to be lonely again, not him, he's innocent. It's only right I didn't let him feel lonely again, and even if he doesn't forgive me, I need him to know he shouldn't give up on making his new life better."

The camera also managed to record our reconciliation, though this entire segment was unabridged. I assumed she didn't want to relive this entire night in post, even if it ended well, and just left it unfiltered. The camera kept recording until she finally discovered it.

There was a voiceover just before the clip ended.

"Out of respect for privacy, I didn't record us going to sleep and waking up, but I did want to share this. We slept in the same bed, of course we were too pure to do anything. However, just before I fell into my slumber, I heard him whisper goodnight to me. I'd also woken up just in time to hear him say good morning too, though I fell asleep again straight after that."

You sly worm, I thought.
For the sake of reminiscing, I watched the rest of our journey back to Sapporo too.

I was reaching the end. I saw the videos of us baking and drawing together during our punishment phase. She constantly spoke about how much fun she was having. She, too, was anticipating our next peer outing together. I wanted to move onto the next one, but the videos stopped there.

The last video reached the end and the screen turned black. My chin lowered and my eyes laid upon my shirt. It was wet, covered in droplets. My hands moved to my cheeks and I realized I'd been crying, not knowing for how long. I'd immersed myself into the reality of the past for so long, I felt a pang of melancholy when I was brought back to the reality of the present.

Were these the struggles she went through? Was this what she felt, every time she laboriously made a video? Yet, she still had the aplomb to persevere through it. She had many hurdles to jump over, and she did so with the agility of a deer.

She was affected by my choices to leave her, and I now needed to choose to use my own courage if I was going to bring her back. Then we can watch these videos together, like her mom wanted.

Her mom.

"Listen Yoru, one of the best things in life is being able to reminisce about the 'good ol' days' without missing them, remember that you were a part of them."

We were both similar, but never on the same page because of our loss of memories. As I lived my life, she floundered between reality and her memory sanctuary, and I was doing the same. To get her memories back would mean we'd have every necessity to live for the future and be able to visit our sanctuaries just to remember it existed.

I saw her camera next to the laptop, the camera that captured everything, and opened it. It was bedraggled and beaten up, maybe not even operational anymore.

・Make the cake dough. break three eggs into a bowl, add four tablespoons of sugar and one tablespoon of instant coffee. Mix them quickly, then add 100 milliliters of salad oil. Put 200 grams of pancake mix into the bowl, then mix thoroughly.
・Peel two apples of any kind—try and use Toki—and cut them into sixteen wedges.
・Put thirty grams of butter and three more tablespoons of sugar into a frying pan on medium heat. When the butter melts, line up the apples to fill in all the gaps. Once the bottom side is golden brown, turn it over.
・Pour the thoroughly mixed dough from outside in, onto the wedges. After pouring, cover it with a top and bake on low heat for about fifteen minutes.
・・Timing is everything. Use the emotion of love if available.
・ Once done, stick a bamboo skewer into the dessert. If there is no dough stuck to it, turn off the fire and carefully turn the pan over a plate.

Complete.

I placed the dessert in a cardboard box and put her laptop into my schoolbag with another object. Visiting hours began at ten in the morning, which was the time I arrived at the hospital. I gave the box to Doctor Itō and entered Ringomori's room. There was a familiar face sitting beside her.

"Matcha-chan!"

"How...do you do, Chamaru-san?"

"Um, hello you two. I-I've been okay, sorry for not visitin' you in the last few weeks. I had a, uh, dilemma to deal with."

She appeared discomforted.
"I...see. Well, you're here...now."

"I have something for you."
I pulled out her laptop and presented it to her.

"Oh, my laptop! I haven't seen it in so long, I can't believe I forgot about it."
She inspected it, then returned her gaze to me. Her eyebrows furrowed.
"Wait, why did you bring me this?"

Etsuko chimed in, "Can I see it, Yasumi-chan?"

I took a few steps closer to them and said, "Remember I said I got all of my memories back when we went to Aomori? You told me that you wanted to tell me about our childhood, but you couldn't because you were scared."

Her pupils dilated and she covered her mouth with her hands.

"You restarted our relationship and became scared I'd get angry if I ever found out the truth."

She began to frantically wave her arms around as if she were swatting flies, then she bowed her head a few times.
"I...I'm sorry! I'm so...sorry! I'm—"

If I wanted to I'd let her keep going, because her flustered distress was adorable.
But I stopped her and said,"I'm not mad at you. That situation's already been dealt with."

"Oh, it has? I...I wish I could remember that."

"Well, there's a chance you might. You recorded almost every important thing we did during our peer outings and uploaded it to your laptop. Everything you forgot; I want you to rewatch."

"I see. And will this bring my memories back?"

I didn't answer her question. She would have to do that.

"Matcha-chan, can I watch it with her~?"

I flickered my eyes to the little girl.
"Sure, I don't think she'd be able to eat the entire thing on her own anyways."

"Eat...what?"

I briefly left the room to wheel in a trolley with my apple cake cut and prepared on a few plates. The girls seemed to recognize the smell immediately and their sweet tooth began craving it.

"You'll be eatin' this while you watch the videos. I tried my best to make it to your standards, I'm sure you'll like it."

Ringomori made herself comfortable in bed while Etsuko scooted closer to her; she was already halfway done with her first slice. She pressed play on the first video and looked at me with benign eyes and a soft smile. I mirrored her as much as I could before leaving the room and closing the door, allowing her to pick her apples of memories back with her senses.

While she watched the videos, I stepped out of the hospital to get some fresh air to sooth my rapidly beating heart. I would have preferred to be alone, but it seemed like that had become a rarity for me as of late. It wasn't a bad thing; I enjoyed the company.

"Will it work?" asked Doctor Itō.

I looked at her with honest eyes.
"There's not a doubt in my mind."

"Why aren't you with them? She was there when you remembered, right?"

"It's better for Etsuko to be there, she's a natural emotional support animal. No offense."

"That's what children are for. Parents need emotional support too. What's the pastry for?"

"They have the magical apples that brought our [My] memories back. They'll do the same for us [Her]."

"I hope it works. That girl's gone through so much that she deserves a win."

"Yeah, and you've been with her for a very long time, sensei. While I watched her videos, I noticed how close of a bond you had with her. That made me think of a question I wanted to ask."

I took a deep breath, "Would the Shizuko family adopt her?"

The question dazed Doctor Itō, leaving her stuttering for a response.

I continued, "You and Shizuko-sensei have been the closest thing she has to parents, and I can see that too. More importantly, she and Etsuko see each other as sisters. She's practically a member of the family already, just not legally."

I could tell she was ruminating about it, maybe a little more could do it.

"She'll outgrow the orphanage program this year and will have to take care of herself. There's a chance she'd dorm at a university, but I suspect you guys would let her stay at your house until she's able to sustain herself anyways."

"You're saying adopting her wouldn't add many burdens to us because we already act like she's our daughter?"

"Exactly. It's like you said, she's gone through so much that she should get a reward if she remembers again."

Doctor Itō took a moment to comprehend all the information I bombarded her with. I doubted she was thinking of a reason to reject Ringomori, but rather thinking about what it would mean to all of them if they went through with it.

She said, "Perhaps you're right, Vieira-kun. I might've been seeing as a daughter this whole time, but I also don't want to replace her late mother."

I walked in front of her and stood astutely.
"Forgive me, sensei, but that's nonsense. You won't be replacin' her mom but succeedin' her. The values her mom taught her will always be with her, and you won't replace them, but instead add your own on top of them. Kids are like a building and parents are the construction companies. Most times it just takes one company to do the entire thing, but there's unfortunate times where buildings are left alone and another company has to finish the project. Different blocks, but the same structure."

She looked at me with her hands in lab coat pockets and a smirk across her face.
"How's a depressed kid like you able to think so optimistically about others?"

"Before depression, I had her company. I'll be stuck with one of them for the rest of my life, and the leading option is currently gettin' our [Her] memories back."

My ear flickered as Doctor Itō said, "I never would've thought a simple camera meant to preserve her parents' life would also preserve her own."

"Right, the camera."
I dug in my schoolbag.

"What're you looking for?"

I pulled out the battered device.

"Is that thing still working?"

"Just like her, it didn't have any major injuries on the bus. It has a couple of extra videos that weren't uploaded to her laptop. I need her to see these too."

"Why, what's on it?"

➼ ➼ ➼

After I saw the videos on her laptop, I inspected the camera to test if it still worked. To my surprise, it did. I looked at the library and saw that it was basically empty.

She probably removes the memory card after storin' the videos in her laptop. How many of those does she have then?

There were still two videos on it, both dated December thirty-first. I watched them.

The first video was of Ringomori leaving the hospital and waiting at the bus stop. It was her first time outside since being admitted for her cold, so she bundled herself with many warm layers and sat on the bench.

"Oh, look at that," she said, putting the camera on her lap. "Chamaru-chan sent a photo of a cat, I can barely see it. What? He said he'll replace me with it! This bus better hurry up."

She sent her reply, then picked up her camera and used the display to fix a stray strand of hair.
"I definitely want to adopt a cat when I have my own place. Do cats like apples? That reminds me, I have a special apple trivia to tell him. I'll do it after the bell rings for the new year."

She focused the camera on her face and stared into the lens.
"This year's been a crazy rollercoaster, but at least it'll end smoothly."
She put her hand's purlicue to her chin and pointed her eyes to the sky.
"Hmm, if I could summarize my year in a single sentence, what would it be? Certainly Chamaru-chan will be a part of it, I'm a bit curious as to what his reply would be. Let me ask."

The camera returned to her lap as she typed her question.
"I swear if he doesn't mention me, I'll ignore him like those tsunderes in anime. I'm kidding, I don't have that kind of personality, I think."

She sent her question as the bus arrived. She was going to be the first to board, but then she stopped. From her eyes that read my reply came a tear that had fallen to her uplifted lips. I got to see it; I saw her reaction.

Taking a step aside, she allowed the few other passengers to board before her as she reread my text aloud to the camera.

"Wow, he outdid me. He used our inside joke, but it would very well work without it. I couldn't come up with something as special as that on the fly. Fufu, I'll try anyway."

She was the last to board. The other passengers took up the front seats, the middle was entirely empty, and she was the only one to choose the back. She sat down and laid her phone on her lap as she held the camera close.

She whispered, "I've felt many feelings for him, before and during this time. He's impressive for making me fall in love with two different versions of him, different yet still similar to me. I'm not sure of how he feels about me, but if we are similarly unique, then I hope he feels the same."

"I...no, wrong word. We..."

I said it with her verbatim.

""We love us.""

Sirens in the distance, the video abruptly ended. The display turned off and I saw my reflection. I heard her summary, and I discovered how she felt about me. I stared into my pastel green eyes that looked like pears.

Peaches and pears. That would be anyone's general consensus, but not ours. For us, it was more Toki and Ōrin apples.