Chapter 445:

Artiljerija vengeance

En Passant Grandmaster

As word of Nyoan reached the arbiters in the playing hall, Miga let out a sigh.

"What is it this time?" Ina asked.

"First off, get back and get rest, second, it's nothing I can't handle on my own."

"You're the one that needs rest. Let me-"

"No, now back to the spectator area," Miga glared.

The day had just been full of incidents and headaches for the arbiters, and now thanks to Nyoan, another one was on the table, possibly the most severe due to it's nature.

"Kidnapping and impersonating a player... I really hope Uzbekistan's winning, otherwise I'm in for a mountain of complaints. Though I think the Australia incident still takes the cake for the worst headache of them all."

...

Going back in time to the start of round 8, Francie manically chuckled as she sat down in Kalsoom's wheelchair at the board. Thanks to Iorwerth, the bottom seat had been cut out to give room for Francie's ass to hang down and avoid physical contact with the seat.

As for her opponent, her teammates still felt she wasn't in peak condition, resulting in them having her play Esma at board 3 instead of Jasmina at board 1.

"You're the nerd that makes robots and gushes about that Ogelland Robot toy series. I'll splat you worse than my hemorrhoids," Francie snickered as she shook Esma's hand.

"You trying to pick a fight? I'll kick your ass if you diss Roboticle. It's not just a toy line, it's got it's own story, movies-"

"Yeah, yeah, round's starting, nerd."

Esma scowled and opened the game by moving her pawn to d4, to which Francie responded to by moving her knight to a6.

"Uh, the fuck is that supposed to be?" Esma thought as she moved her pawn to e4.

"The Australian Defense. What, never seen a kangaroo hop, you dumbass Bosnian nerd?" Francie thought as she moved her pawn to c5.

Though she couldn't read her thoughts, Esma could at the very least tell she was being insulted, resulting in her huffing in annoyance as she captured the knight at a6 with her bishop.

"Ah, wittle goth snacc's getting huffy with me! Easy fucking mark to check!" Francie manically cackled as she moved her queen to a5.

While her cutting out the bottom of the wheelchair's seat had mitigated the pain of her hemorrhoids, her thinking ability was still lacking. Then again, it always had been.

"Aggressive and insulting. At least you chose to hide the more severe insults you have reserved for me in your mind," Esma thought as she moved her knight to c3.

Things picked up with Francie capturing the pawn at d4 with her c-pawn, and Esma deciding to capture said pawn with her queen. Then as Esma anticipated, Francie captured the bishop at a6 with her queen, prompting her to move her bishop to e3.

Things were slightly in Esma's favor at this point, but after Francie made the aggressive play of queen to g6, Esma was suddenly winning by a huge margin.

"Are you serious? She's really going to go for the g-pawn? Fine. Take it," Esma grumbled in her mind as she moved her knight to f3.

And like a complete idiot, Francie captured the pawn at g2 with her queen. However, Francie believed Esma was the idiot as her next move was none other than king to e2.

"Wow! Nerd got fried by a kangaroo kick to the hot Outback gravel n' now she's Bongclouding 10 moves too late," Francie rapped in her mind as she moved her queen to g4.

Esma glared unamusingly and moved her knight to b5. Francie's arrogance was getting more cringe than unbearable.

"Just how was she allowed to play? She's shit!" Esma thought as Francie moved her pawn to f5. "Oh? I'm asking stupid questions. I'll aim the Ogeldax turrets and show her what a real laser blast is like," she thought as she moved her h-rook to g1.

"Really? That's your big plan? Always knew Bosnians were stupid lunatics, but damn, didn't even learn math. I'm up in material, and when I got way more than you, I sell off the stocks to get a net profit. Oh, my bad, you don't even know what stocks are!" Francie scoffed as she captured the pawn at e4 with her queen.

Esma stared in silence. The other Bosnians did too as they turned towards Francie. She hadn't realized she just said her thoughts aloud.

"Oi... YOU PICKING A FIGHT!? I'LL FUCK YOU UP! CHECK!" Esma shouted as she slammed her knight down on c7.

"Huh? You losing it? I didn't- ...!"

Francie went quiet as she came to two startling revelations. First, she realized she had said her thoughts aloud, and second, she had blundered away a rook.

"FUCK! Stupid hemorrhoids are fucking me over!" she thought as she moved her king to d8.

And with a violent smack, Esma captured the rook at a8 with her knight, sending it flying across the room.

"WHOA! Yo trying to kill me, you fucking Bosnian!? Go fuck yourself and dry up in the Outback with hemorrhoids infesting your ass! Check!" Francie fumed as she captured the pawn at c2 with her queen.

Esma's eyes bulged with fury as she moved her king to e1. While she considered herself a refined young woman, she was know for having the most violent tempers amongst all the Bosnians. Pissing her off was a surefire way to get a trip to intensive care, yet many refused to heed the warnings due to Esma's short stature and lack of apparent muscles.

Francie didn't know about any of this though, and thanks to her already being in a worse state of mind and morality than usual, she decided to continue the provocations as she moved her knight to f6. Esma slammed her rook down on c1, locking and loading a potential ICBM to fire off at Francie's smug face.

"Oh! My queen's in trouble! Hey arbs, can ya give me a hint? Oh wait, I'm not the crazy hamburger eating fat bitch with no idea how to avoid stepping on a landmine!" Francie cackled aloud as she moved her queen to e4.

Esma's teeth began to grit so hard, others around her were worried they might crack. "Slomit ću ti svaku kost na licu [I'm going to break every bone in your face]!" she shouted as she slammed her knight down on b6.

"ARBITERS! She's talking out of check!" Francie sneered as she captured the knight at b6 with her a-pawn.

"IDI DOĐAVOLA, JEBENA KURVO [GO TO HELL, YOU FUCKING BITCH]! CHECK!" Esma shouted as she violently captured the pawn at b6 with her queen, sending the piece flying into the wall.

"YOU FUCKING PSYCHO! THAT NEARLY HIT ME! YOU WANNA GET CANCELLED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER!?" Francie fumed as she moved her king to e8.

A squad of arbiters was already encircling the table, however, they all held off on taking any action upon noticing the state of the game.

"It'll be over soon. No need to halt the match," Miga thought as Esma moved her knight to g5.

"The president would have a match like this continue... It's mate anyway, but that Bosnian girl better not blunder," Prokrutka thought as Francie moved her queen to c6.

Esma grabbed her rook and leaped up into the air before slamming it and her fist down hard on c6, capturing the queen and sending it flying into the wall.

"WHAT THE FUCK! YOU FUCKING WAR CRIMINAL!" Francie shouted as she captured the rook at c6 with her b-pawn.

"HUH!? I WAS BORN AFTER THE WAY ENDED, AND NONE OF MY FAMILY ARE WAR CRIMINALS!" Esma fumed as she slammed her queen down on c7.

"WHO GIVES A FUCK! I SAY YOU'RE A WARCRIMINAL, THAT'S HOW THE NARRATIVE GOES!" Francie retorted as she moved her bishop to a6.

"FUCKING LIAR! ALL I DO IS BUILD ROBOTS FOR PERSONAL PLEASURE! JUST CUZ ONE GOT LOOSE DOESN'T MEAN I'M A WAR CRIMINAL!"

"Huh?"

Esma stopped herself from spouting anything else as she slowly calmed down. Even though she had only been a child at the time, she had built a robot equipped with laser cannons that had mysteriously disappeared one day. Little did she know that said robot had made it's way to Costa Rica and was now in Budapest competing in the Costa Rican men's team.

However, the memories of the incident began to mitigate her anger, which was good news for Francie.

"Ch- Check," Esma nervously trembled as she moved her queen to b8.

Despite being a move away from mate, Francie suddenly felt all the power shifting over to her. "Hmm? She was going on about something... Sounds like a scandal. Maybe I'll lose the match, get a slap from the arbs maybe, but at the end of the day, I'll have something to dig up on you and ruin you for pissing me off. Welp, quick n' easy checkmate if ya don't mind," Francie thought as she smirked and moved her bishop to c8.

Esma trembled as she stared at Francie. That verbal flub had shifted all the power away, and now she was the one in peril despite being on the verge of winning.

"No... I don't know what happened to Tankoro... I was only 5... No, don't tell me he did something bad and now that I'm an adult I'll be thrown in jail," she thought as she slowly extended her hand.

"Ah! M- My wheelchair! W- Why do you have it!?" a voice trembled.

Francie rolled her eyes and turned around to notice Kalsoom. "This is yours? This was the one the staff provided me-"

"Lies. I caught you on camera. You and pinky were colluding to steal her wheelchair with that guy," Reda glared as she appeared alongside Kalsoom.

"Um, no. See, take a look, this wheelchair's got a hole in the seat to relieve the pressure on my hemorrhoids. I take it yours doesn't. Besides, I saw Iori take your wheelchair, and I hate the bitch."

"B- But I recognize it... D- Did you lie?" Kalsoom tearfully trembled.

"Gaslighting drama. Shut the fuck up, I got a game to lose?"

Francie froze as she turned back to notice Esma. Her jaw was now hanging down, and her eyes bulging, but she was far from shocked... she was infuriated.

"You... You stole Kalsom's wheelchair... all for your fucking hemorrhoids? RAAAAAAAAAAH!"

With a horrifying scowl on her face, Esma grabbed her queen and leaped high into the air, pulling her arm back. "Checkmate... No, ARTILJERIJA!" she shouted as she slammed her fist and queen down on c8, capturing the bishop there and sending it flying towards Francie.

The piece didn't hit Francie, but it did hit the wheelchair with so much force, that Francie ended up getting launched into the air and hurled straight towards the soundproof wall, screaming all the way. With a mighty smash, Francie herself was embedded face-first into the wall, breaking all of her bones in the process. And worse, with the bishop at c8 having been captured by the queen, Esma had now won the game.

"Huh? Kalsoom's a good gal pal of mine. You stole her shit n' tried to blame someone else for it? You fucking Australians are dead!" Jasmina fumed as she cracked her knuckles.

Despite the protests of Kandi, Imogen, and Marigold who truly had nothing to do with Francie's plan, they all found themselves pummeled by the Bosnian's anger, resulting in a humiliating 0-4 loss to Bosnia and Herzegovina.

"Well, I guess we should be glad the pieces don't fucking hit us!" Kandi fumed as she watched Francie get carted away on a stretcher.

"Hmm, seems there's no need to issue an official punishment. Just a standard warning for the official documentation," Raymond ordered as he strolled away.

The full game:

White: Esma Osmanagić (1981) Black: Francie Derring (2068)

1. d4 Na6

2. e4 c5

3. Bxa6 Qa5+

4. Nc3 cxd4

5. Qxd4 Qxa6

6. Be3 Qg6

7. Nf3 Qxg2

8. Ke2 Qg4

9. Nb5 f5

10. Rhg1 Qxe4