Chapter 4:

The Past (Part I)

After My First Love Failed...


 “Well, okay… After all, nothing matters right now, so I guess there’s nothing to hide; What happened, happened. Do you remember back in the first year of our middle school years…”

Right. Up until middle school, Sok-kun, Bill and I ended up in the same classes somehow. However, in the first year of our middle school years – more than 4 years ago –, it was the first time I was in a class I knew nobody.

Sure, for someone social enough this isn’t a big deal. Maybe it’s a new opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. But, at that time, that wasn’t the case for me. And as most of my new classmates had already a group of friends they belonged to, it would take me ages for me to join one.

However, each time we had English Class we were using the school’s amphitheater, as both my class and Bill’s merged…

It was the only class that somehow reminded the old days; me and my pals. But, as Bill had – and still has – better social skills than I do, there were days that he would be with his new friends.

It was at that time that I met both Ayame and Akisa-san. Ayame was always sitting in the back row of the amphitheater, right behind me. Usually, she was alone and she was drawing anime characters. It was odd for me how a beautiful girl like her had no one to talk to and instead she was drawing.

Then, one day I was sitting alone as Bill was with his new friends, I started talking to her. As she seemed to haven’t got any group she belonged to, it was an easy target for an unsocial guy like me to speak to.

“You’re drawings are awesome! You’re very talented.”

“Oh! Thank you! I’m drawing different anime characters right now.”

“Anime? Would you believe it if I told you that I’ve never seen anime before?”

“Really?! You don’t know what you’re missing…”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah! If you want to I can recommend one to you. I think you’ll like it.”

She wrote the anime’s title on a piece of paper and gave it to me.

“Okay. When I have some free time I’ll definitely watch your recommendation.”
“When you see it, tell me your impressions.”

“Alright! By the way, – you’ve probably heard my name already, but – my name is Sakita Alex.”

“Kazusa Ayame. Nice to meet you!”

“It’s nice to meet you too!”

After that day, we used to speak a lot more when we had English classes and learned a lot about each other. I learned, for example, that she is living in the same neighborhood as I am, that she wants to be a dancer and that she was watching anime for as long as she can remember.

To say the truth I was quite attracted to her when we first started talking and stuff, but when afterwards I introduced her to Bill, she seemed kind of interested in him. Oh, well…

Still, we ended up being great friends with Ayame, after all. No regrets on that!

But it’s a paradox that even though I’ve seen Ayame and Bill talk alone and stuff, after all these years how come and she hasn’t told Bill anything about her feelings? Since Bill has always been a simpleton with abs, I guess it’s hard for her to make him understand…

Anyhow, a few weeks after I met her I thought it was a good time to ask Ayame why she was always sitting alone. I asked her if she had any friends and I found out that her situation is quite similar to mine; She had a best friend during elementary school, but after one year that they ended up in different classes, her friend had already made a new group of friends.

“When we enrolled in this middle school, I could see her with these other two friends of her hanging around all the time.”, she also told me. “This female trio, from the very first month has become very popular among both boys and girls.”

Now that I remember, I believe Sok-kun had told me back then about a certain female trio that had become very popular among first-years, but I knew nobody so I guess I didn’t pay any attention to what he said.

“Actually the girls follow them around as they were fans following around their favorite idol group. Like a parade.”, she continued. “You can look for yourself in the front.”, she told me. “My friend is the shortest one of the three, Akisa Anna.”

Right. On the other hand, Akisa-san has always been more in the center of attention. Not just her, but the impact her group made upon others; it was three beautiful girls just hanging around.

When I first saw them, my impression of them was that they were a group of sluts in the making.

However, it wasn’t but just a few weeks before the end of our first middle school year, during one of the last English classes we had, when Akisa made a huge impression on me.

It was a multiple-choice exercise in which one question – for an unknown reason – needed some math to be done in order to find the solution.

Note that Ayame wasn’t that day at school, so the back row of seats was completely empty. Instead, it was Akisa and her friends the one who filled up the row.

“So the answer is A. 18, B.15, or C. 22?”, asked the teacher.

“A. 18”, the whole class said.

“Correct, it’s A.”

At that time I raised my hand as I thought that the given answer was incorrect.

“I’m sorry, but I think B. is the correct answer…”, I said.

For a moment everyone's eyes were pinned on me. I could feel them on my skin; it was kind of terrifying. Complete silence. ‘Did I messed up somewhere?’ was what I was thinking immediately. Even Bill that was beside me wasn’t sure whether I was correct or not.

“I think Sakita-kun is correct. I believe it’s B. as well.”, someone said from behind me.

I immediately turned around to see the one who backed me up. The one who believed I was right. It was a complete surprise to me what I saw. I didn’t expect anyone from that group to actually second my word. I didn’t expect Akisa Anna, from all people, to be the one…

“You weren’t in that same class to actually see it for yourself, but that was what happened; that’s how I first distinguished her from the rest of her group.”

Now that I think about it as more grown-up and more mature, I can only tell that the reason she stood out in my eyes back then was stupid and cringe as hell. Right now, if someone didn’t pay a mind to what I had to say I wouldn’t even give a damn. And vice versa, if someone actually believed in me I wouldn’t ‘idolize’ them. Well, I was young and stupid and didn’t know how the world works; I forgive my past self.

“Isn’t that just how you met her?”, Sok-kun answered me.

“Well, I started liking her much later. Even now, don’t know exactly when and how…” ‘and why', if I had to say “...but it happened for sure when we started our second year...”

Taylor Victoria
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