Days 314-364: Leo

Ever since we got here, everything’s felt perfect. The days blur together—I’ve lost track of time—but I know one thing: I’m grateful to have Ava beside me. From the moment I wake up to the second I fall asleep, being near her makes everything feel lighter. And yet, something gnaws at me. I’m anxious, scared. Why? This is the best my life has ever been. So why does it feel like something’s about to go wrong? I didn’t want it to ruin whatever time I had left with Ava so I just ignored it.

One day, we decided to go fishing. We wandered around until we found a lake tucked behind a patch of trees.

As we walked, Ava smirked and said, “Don’t go getting mauled by a bear again.” She was joking, but her tone had a sharp edge.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m not crazy.”

“Don’t be so sure of yourself.”

“I’m not the one who wrecked a city.”

She didn’t answer right away. For a second, I thought I’d crossed a line. But then she sprinted ahead and started splashing water at me.

“Hey, that’s freezing!” I dodged, then retaliated. We soaked each other in a flurry of laughter until Ava tackled me, and we both fell into the lake. Her body was nice and warm; it made me forget how cold the water was.

“Gotcha. I win,” she said, grinning above me.

“No, I win.”

“Huh, how come?” I pulled her in, flipped her over, and pinned her down. “Cold!” she shouted, shivering beneath me.

While hovering over, I said, “See.”

She lets out a tired sigh, “Fine. I’ll give it to you this one time.”

I collapsed beside her, catching my breath. “That was exhausting.”

“I know right. You should’ve just given up and let me splash you.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” We laughed again. She went quiet, staring up at the sky. I followed her gaze—blue, scattered with cottony clouds. The sky was a pretty baby blue and the clouds were white as snow.

“Thank you,” she said softly..

“For what?”

“For being here. For everything. I’d be dead without you. Or worse—stuck with my mom. I don’t want to imagine either.”

I turned toward her. A tear slid down her cheek, but she was smiling.

“You saved me too,” I said. “Without you, I’d be a mess.”

She shook her head. “No, that was the other girl. I just tagged along. Let me thank you, and don’t argue.”

“Not happening. You’ve done more than you know.”

She splashed me. “No, thank you.”

I splashed back. “No, you.”

We kept going until we got tired again.

“We should actually fish now,” she said. “Before we catch pneumonia.”

I agreed with her and we started to fish. It was hard to catch anything with the rod since it was a lake so we just decided to walk into the lake and grab the fish. They were kind of slimy and gross but doing it with Ava made it enjoyable. At the end we caught a total of six fishes—not too bad considering we didn’t use any rods.

That night, eating by the fire, the dread crept back in.

Why do I feel like this? Today was perfect. So why do I feel like I’m falling apart?

Ava must’ve noticed because she asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

I blinked. “Me? Yeah, I’m fine.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“What? Nooo…” I looked down at the fish. “Everything’s perfect. I’m fine.” I whispered.

She moved beside me, wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and rested her head there. “Still lying.”

“You always know what I’m thinking don’t you?”

“Always.”

I exhaled. “I feel anxious. Scared. But I don’t know why. I’ve got everything I want, right here.”

She thought about it for a second before saying, “Maybe it’s because you’re scared of losing it all.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to leave again.” I mumbled. Even though I tried to lighten the mood by making a joke, a part of me still feels scared.

“Caught me.” she joked. We both laughed, but then she added, more seriously, “The world’s ending. Eventually we’re going to lose all of this. Maybe that’s what you’re feeling.”

I froze.

Was Ava right? Is that why I’ve been feeling scared? It doesn’t make sense though. I was so happy when the world was about to end. And I did what I wanted. Live a nice and fulfilling life all the way up till the end. So why am I scared? Hell, I was going to kill myself before, so why does death scare me?

I looked at Ava, her head on my chest, eyes closed. Her lashes were long—how had I never noticed? While I continued to stare at Ava, it hit me.

I’m not scared of dying, I'm scared of losing Ava.

My arms wrapped around Ava before I could think. I held her tightly. “Feeling any better?” she asked.

…

“Hello? Anyone there?”

“Oh—yeah, sorry. Zoned out.”

“It’s fine,” she said. “What were you thinking about?”

“I thought you always knew what I was thinking,” I teased.

She smiled. “Yeah, but it doesn’t hurt to ask sometimes.”

I let out a nervous chuckle. “I... I’m just scared of losing you.”

She looked up at me. “I was joking earlier—I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah… I know.”

“Then what are you scared of?”

I hesitated. “When the meteor hits… all of this will be gone.” My chest tightened. My eyes stung.

I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to die—not like this. I want to keep living with Ava. I want to wake up to her cooking. I want to do dishes with her. I want to argue with her about stupid things. I want to start a family with her. I want to have a future with her.

I hadn’t thought about the future until now. Ever since John died, I’d just been going through the motions—not truly living life. I was only just waiting to die. I didn’t start living until recently. And now that I finally want a future, it’s all about to disappear.

Why does this have to happen? Why can’t something miraculous happen and destroy this meteor? Why—

“Hey,” Ava interrupted my thoughts gently, “don’t be sad that we’ll die.”

“How can I not be?” I asked, voice cracking. “How am I supposed to pretend it’s not coming? Don’t you feel it too?”

“I do,” she said. “But even knowing we’re going to die… I’m still happy. Happy I got to spend this last year with you. Don’t be sad it’s ending—be grateful it happened.”

Her words reminded me of something May said before she died: “Being dead is only the end of the story—not the meaning of it.” Ava was right. What we had mattered. But still, that doesn’t make the fear vanish, but it gave it a shape.

“I know, but…” I held her tighter. “I don’t want us to die. I want more. I want us to be together, forever.”

I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. Ava held me close and gently patted my head. “I want that too,” she whispered. “But this is out of our hands. So let’s just be happy. All the way to the end.”

I pulled back and looked at her. She was calm—peaceful even. It's hard to believe that this was the girl freaking out in the cafe not too long ago.

She wiped my tears with her thumb and said, “Promise me something. We’ll enjoy whatever time we have left. That was the whole point of our bet, wasn’t it?”

I’d completely forgotten about our bet.

“An idiot once told me, ‘There are all the reasons to be happy right now,’” she said. “At first I thought he was high. But he turned out to be right.” Ava’s voice was so soothing. She wasn’t riddled with fear or anxiety—just peace.

I sniffled, “Does that mean I won the bet?”

“Yeah—but I’m not doing your dare unless you promise me something first.”

“What?”

“That we’ll enjoy what time we have left. After all, there are all the reasons to be happy right now. Right?”

“Yeah,” I said. “There are.”

She held out her pinky. “So what do you say?”

I linked mine with hers. “I promise.”

Over the next few weeks, we did exactly that—enjoyed every moment we had left. With Ava by my side, the fear faded. I didn’t have to worry. I didn’t have to be afraid. Every now and then, Ava asked what dare I had in store for her. She said it could be anything—even something a little inappropriate. I told her I wasn’t like that, but I think she was just teasing. Either way, I decided to save my dare for the very last day. As time passed, life started to feel… normal. That was, until we saw it—the meteor. Hanging in the sky like a reminder: there would be no miracles. No way out. No future. It rattled me. “Hey,” Ava said, “Remember your promise.” She held onto my hand tightly. It seemed like she was scared but when I looked at Ava, she was calm—serene, even. I guess she was better at hiding the fear than me. I didn’t know how she did it, but her composure gave me strength. Because of her, I could bear it.

“Yeah, I remember. But if you ever feel scared… talk to me, okay?”

“H-how’d you know I was scared?”

I smirked. “I always know what you’re thinking. You’re not the only mind reader here.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she laughed. Then she turned to me, her voice quieter. “I guess… seeing it now, I do feel kind of scared.” She looked up at me with a soft smile. “But even if the end’s coming, I’ll still be happy—as long as I’m with you.”

“Yeah, I feel the same.”

We collapsed onto the grass, overwhelmed, and stared up at the meteor. It was massive and bright—almost like a shooting star, if not for its sheer size.

Ava curled around my arm. “Doesn’t it kind of look like a shooting star from here?”

“Yeah… a little.”

“If you could make a wish, what would it be?”

Without thinking, I said, “I wish for us to stay together—forever.”

“Hey, you stole my wish.”

“Sorry, it was just the first thing that came to mind.”

“Well now I have to come up with something else.”

“Why can’t we just share it?”

She smiled. “That’s no fun.”

I laughed softly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

She went quiet for a moment, then said, “I wish we weren’t afraid of the meteor.”

Her words caught me off guard. I’d only ever looked at it with dread—wondering how to escape, how much time we had. But she… she wanted courage. She wanted to face it head on.

“Th-that’s—that's an amazing wish.”

“Yeah, it is. I just hope it comes true.”

“I do too.”

She leaned her head on my shoulder, and we lay there, watching the meteor drift slowly across the sky. We fell asleep just outside our tent, beneath the end of the world.