A series of near misses

“I cannot believe my asocial misanthrope of a brother got a beautiful girlfriend before me,” said Yaki, taking a seat at the table at the outdoor cafe we had decided to all meet up at.

“What can I say, sis?” I replied, dramatically raising my right arm and wrapping it around Sai’s shoulder. “Maybe you’re not the social butterfly of the family anymore.”

“If you use me to prove a point, I’ll soon be going on talk shows telling the sad story of the mysterious disappearance of my first boyfriend,” huffed Sai in response.

“Duly noted,” I said, and started retracting my arm, though she quickly grabbed it and moved it back to it’s place on her shoulder. Seriously, woman, make up your mind.

“Ugh, somehow seeing you act all lovey-dovey is making me both disgusted and jealous,” said Yaki with a glare, before a mischievous grin spread on her face and an evil glint appeared in her eye. “Though… I suppose if neither of you are gonna take Peps…” she turned and put one finger under Pep’s chin, gently moving Pep’s head to look at her, “maybe I’m next in line for her…”

“Y-Yacchan?!” said Pep, immediately turning red as a tomato. As much as I wouldn’t mind having Pep as a sister-in-law, I was quite convinced that even she would find it difficult to keep up with Yaki’s unbridled chaos.

Meanwhile, Sai and I both turned our attention to the sound of snapping chopsticks. Ran, who Yaki and I had begrudgingly agreed to let Pep invite, was staring at Yaki with a death glare.

“These bastard siblings… swear to god…” she muttered and gritted her teeth, like she was actually ready to take a bit out of Yaki for flirting with Pep. Honestly, I was impressed with her progress. A week ago she probably would have actually done it.

“Still, it is good to see you again, Yaki. Much has changed since last we met,” said Sai. I wasn’t sure if Pep’s sigh was from relief or disappointment that the attention had shifted away from her

“You can say that again. When we met before, I didn’t think there was any way my brother could get with a bombshell beauty like you. How’d he manage it? Manipulation? Blackmail? Are you being held at gunpoint?”

“I’m yet unsure myself. Does Kaburi perhaps have experience in brainwashing or hypnosis?”

“Can’t say I know for sure, but you should get yourself checked sooner rather than later, make sure you’re not too far gone, y’know.”

“Oh dear. I do hope the psychiatrist has a treatment for my illness, otherwise I may have to consider euthanasia.”

“Are you really saying that the prospect of dating me is literally worse than death?”

““Yes.””

“I don’t think I like it when you two are together.”

Man, I’m gonna cry here. My sister and my girlfriend teaming up on me? How are neither of you on my side?

“Oh, don’t be a baby, Dead Eyes,” piped up Ran with a dramatic eyeroll. “Considering your newfound popularity online, you’d just replace this one in no time flat if she dumped you.”

“Right, ‘cos I’d much rather have some terminally online cavedweller who was probably shittalking me and bullying Pep not one week ago. Thanks for the input, Bitchqueen.”

“Hmm? Newfound popularity?” questioned Sai, raising an eyebrow in apprehension.

“Oh right, I guess Sai-chan wouldn’t know yet,” said Pep. “That moment when Kaburi talked down on the chat and then ended stream ironically got clipped and shared like wildfire, and now a tonne of people are praising him for ‘putting those bullies in their place.’”

“It’s a load of shite, I want nothing to do with it all,” I spat. “Pretty sure half of them are the exact type of people I was talking about. They’ve got all the self awareness of an insect, the lot of them.”

“Hm. I see. So it’s unwanted attention. Still…” Sai jabbed my cheek with her finger and stared me dead in the eyes. “If you ever cheat on me I’ll kill you.”

“I’m not sure how we jumped all the way to cheating here, but duly noted.” I never pictured Sai as the jealous type. Dammit, is it weird that I kinda like her more now?

“Can’t believe it took all of a week for you to go from embarrassing me by being an edgelord to embarrassing me by getting all flirty in public. I need a new sibling,” sighed Yaki.

“I could get mum and dad to adopt you, you could be my sister instead,” said Pep.

“Thanks, Peps, but I only see you as a wife.”

“Where did the cute Yaki go?! When did you become a womaniser?!”

“Womanisers chase every girl they see, but I’ve only got eyes for you.”

“Yaki, pack it in before Bitchqueen puts a curse on our entire bloodline.”

“Bro, I’m pretty sure that ship has already sailed.”

“Huh… good point, go ham.”

I quietly returned to sipping my tea with my free hand, my other arm still wrapped around Sai, while Yaki continued flustering Pep with her every word, and Ran tried not to blow a blood vessel.

It was a strange group we had assembled here, I had to admit. Hell, it was weird for me to be with a group in the first place. It had been less than a month since I met Sai, and in that short time my entire life had undergone a radical change. This same time last month, I was probably thinking up new and innovative ways to rant about the inherent evil of humanity or something, yet there I was, enjoying an afternoon out with my girlfriend, my best friend, my beloved younger sister, and an interloper I had yet to properly chase off. A dysfunctional group? Almost certainly. But one that I greatly valued. Just as greatly as I valued being alone.

In the past I had rejected togetherness altogether in favour of solitude, using the excuse that others failed to see the value in isolation. And I still believe that to be the case, my enjoyment of the peace and quiet of my own company hasn’t waned. But I’ve since realised how myopic it was to criticise others for rejecting solitude while I was doing the exact same thing with togetherness. It’s not a case of one or the other. There needs to be balance. Perhaps that balance is weighted one way or the other, but it can’t be dominated by either. You have to give others a chance if you ever want to really be happy with yourself. That’s what I had learned since meeting Sai.

“Welp, I think we’re about done here, should we get movin’?” said Yaki, putting down her mug and stretching as she stood up.

“Give me a minute to do the closing monologue, I’ll be right with you.”

“Don’t go too deep with it, yeah? It’s the last chapter.”

“I know, I know. I’ll make it quick.”

My last thoughts on everything… that’s a hell of a lot to summarise. But I think I’ve finally figured out the crux of the matter. The reason human relationships always frustrated me so much. And why I’m gonna keep going in spite of it.

It’s said that on the atomic level, nothing ever truly touches anything.

Of course, the uncertainty principle makes ideas like “touch” nebulous at best on that scale anyway, but it’s an apt commentary on the nature of existence.

The bonds that hold together a solid object appear firm. Rigid. Close. But when you zoom in far enough, you realise they still maintain a degree of separation, even at their closest. No matter how densely packed the material, individual atoms may never actually interact with one another on the most fundamental level. What seems to be a set of rigid bonds is nothing but a series of near misses.

People can never truly understand each other. Even now, I maintain that belief. The bonds that connect us, when you scrutinise them enough, are just a series of near misses.

“C’mon, Kabucchi, we don’t have all day!”

“If you take much longer we truly will leave you behind.”

But sometimes a near miss is okay. You just need to get close enough.