Chapter 0:

Attempt #0: She's not even a proper love goddess

My Polytheistic Dating Experience: That Time The Gods Hijacked My Love Life

Satoshi Komiya never had much luck in the world of romance.Bookmark here

Not because he was incredibly unattractive, annoying, or had noticeably poor hygiene. His medium-length black hair was a little messy, and he wore rectangular glasses, but he was slightly above average height and never caused anyone any fuss.Bookmark here

He just didn't put in much of an effort. Instead of talking to girls during lunch, or spending time with guys playing sports or joining a club, Satoshi sat at the back of the class, by the window, doodling in his notebook.Bookmark here

And as far as some divine powers were concerned, this just wouldn't do.Bookmark here

"Again? He's drawn that character five times now."Bookmark here

"I believe that's what humans call a 'comic', Bastet."Bookmark here

"Ugh, shut up Eros. The point is, it's boring."Bookmark here

"Why are you so interested in this boy anyway? We see millions of humans in worse situations than this."Bookmark here

"Because we're the gods of love, Eros, it's literally our job. We're supposed to give him a little push, y'know."Bookmark here

"And we already have. He's... #6,453,980,342 on the list of Automated Romance Clues. The system works well enough, I mean, humanity has managed to have a success rate of at least 90% in regards to romantic relationships. Though, let's not mention the retention rate..."Bookmark here

Bastet holds up a scroll and unfurls it. Presenting it to Eros, the paper glows and turns into a screen.Bookmark here

*Loading Video Footage*Bookmark here

"Look here. Every single attempt by the ARC system has failed. Like this one. A girl left him a love letter in an empty classroom and he took it to the student council to report it as lost property. Bookmark here

Or this one, where a girl intentionally fell over so she could be caught by him and he stepped aside, causing her to be caught by the guy next to him. Now, she and the guy are dating because she felt bad for him. Turns out they made a pretty good match thoughBookmark here

The guy that sits in front of him even gave him chocolate on Valentine's day. Do you know what he did with it? He kept passing it backwards, as if he thought it was a class handout.Bookmark here

In fact, I don't think they've had any effect at all. The whole reason I've been watching this kid is that I don't get how he's managed to fool the system like this. Has he even looked at anyone today? Aren't teenagers supposed to be like 'Oh my god, look at ***, I can't believe I have the privilege to even smell the same air as them!'"Bookmark here

"So what you're saying is..."Bookmark here

"Yes, Eros, I want to..."Bookmark here

Bastet leans into Eros, whisperingBookmark here

"In-ter-fe-re"Bookmark here

"You know that's not allowed, right?"Bookmark here

"Nobody has to know, do they? Or do you want to tell on poor, sweet little Bastet?"Bookmark here

She does her best impression of a crying crocodile.Bookmark here

"Alright, alright, I'll help, but if any of the other Gods find out, I'm dropping all responsibility. Seeing you cry like that reminds me of Sobek."Bookmark here

"Fine, whatever. Besides, we got this, it'll be so easy that we'll have it done before anyone even suspects a thing. I'm a lot more than just the goddess of protection and fertility, after all."Bookmark here

Eros' vision zooms in on Bastet's cat ears.Bookmark here

"Of course. Although, I can't think of how being 'goddess of cats' will be of much help here."Bookmark here

"You know it's more than that! The arts, music, perfume, all the knowledge that this kid will need if he's going to get on the right track."Bookmark here

"And warfare, don't forget warfare."Bookmark here

"Yes, warfare! Wait, that probably won't be useful. Then again, who knows. And with your more specific expertise, we'll make a dynamite team. Come on, hands in the middle."Bookmark here

Bastet stretches out of hand, and Eros begrudgingly places his own atop it.Bookmark here

"Oh Zeus, what have I signed up for..."Bookmark here

They raise their hands in celebration.Bookmark here

"Let's go, team!"Bookmark here

"I'm the only qualified person on this team. Wait, why am I even going along with this."Bookmark here

"Oh be quiet, feathers. It'll be fun. I'm telling you, this'll be over before you know it."Bookmark here

You can resume reading from this paragraph.