TWO SOULS

“Screw this!” Felix grumbled.
Every day, his phone alarm blared. This morning, it had to work extra hard to get him out of bed. Squinting suspiciously and groggily, he glanced toward the music, then flailed over his desk. It took longer than usual to silence the alarm. The night had felt incredibly short, and he’d slept terribly. He lay awake multiple times, oddly clear-headed in his thoughts. It took him quite a while to fall back asleep. Somehow, it felt like he had lain on a hard floor, making his back ache and what was that awful smell?
What stinks here? Felix wrinkled his nose.
He threw the blanket off in frustration and swung himself out of bed. His computer was still humming softly; it had been downloading a new game all night. Excitedly, he checked if it was done.
“Awesome,” he whispered.
He loved playing on his computer or watching series. Next to his desk stood a shelving unit larger than his wardrobe, lined with numerous fantasy novels. He had read many of them multiple times. He could deeply immerse himself in imagined worlds. He walked with Frodo and Sam to Mount Doom, feared the Nothing threatening Fantasia, and learned spells with Harry at Hogwarts. But only two days remained until his seventeenth birthday. Fate was waiting, holding a door open for him.He turned off the blinking machine and checked his timetable. Felix believed it was Thursday. To his dismay, this suspicion was confirmed.
“Of all days, Thursday,” he grunted softly.
That meant the first double period was PE. He hated PE. But if there was something he hated even more, it was apparatus gymnastics. And that had been on the schedule for two months.
His small town’s school wasn’t just closely tied to the local gymnastics club a sports boarding school was also part of it. Floor and apparatus gymnastics, which he despised, were important to the town and the educational institution. Worst of all for him was the horizontal bar. To be fair, many excellent athletes came from here or moved here to get better. Olympic medals had been won more than once, and the citizens were proud of their gymnasts.
Felix thought about pretending to have an allergy that affected his lungs. Or maybe oversleep and show up late? Fake an illness? His mother didn’t appreciate that. She knew his tricks and so did his teachers. It wouldn’t work, he concluded. Forget his gym clothes? He tried that often too.
Groaning, he decided to face the problem. He wasn’t very flexible. Strength and endurance? Not even close. Motivation or enthusiasm? Absolutely none. He hated PE, loathed apparatus gymnastics, and despised the horizontal bar with a passion. In this terrible morning mood, already ruining his day, he trudged wearily to the bathroom.It smelled musty, damp, and stale in here. Once again, his senses were playing tricks on him. He was used to it, though it still annoyed him along with the back pain. The day could almost only get better from here, theoretically.

You look like crap, the mirror would say if it could talk.

As the day went on, at least his nerve disorder might ease, like it usually did. A shower often helped with that, refreshed him somehow. For as long as he could remember, sensory illusions had regularly played tricks on him. He constantly ended up in the practices of specialists who wanted to get to the bottom of the issue. Blurred or darkened vision was part of it, strange smells, and sometimes he heard a woman’s voice but he never understood what she was saying. Doctors never found a medical cause. They suspected a rare nerve disorder that couldn’t be clearly diagnosed. Medications didn’t work either. The confusion of his senses sometimes affected his days so much that he skipped school. So, a quick cold shower to bring his senses somewhat back in line. He tried in vain to tame his curly hair into shape. Afterward, his mirror image at least said: Now you look a bit better than crap but still pretty close.Gradually, the smell faded, and he maneuvered himself heavily into the kitchen for a quick bowl of cereal. Coffee. Yes, those things should secure his path to school. The machine was already on, and the glass carafe was half full. His mother had brewed one before leaving for the early shift.Sluggishly and scratching without enthusiasm, he pulled a cup from the cupboard and poured himself some. A splash of milk and a bit of sugar. But feeling as drained as he did, he went for more sugar. A little more. Since the coffee wasn’t particularly hot, he took a big gulp right away. A bit too much sugar, he thought and made a face. The cereal helped tone down the sweetness. He quickly shoved the dishes into the dishwasher, grabbed his backpack for school. Sports gear. He hesitated but took it with him, as planned. Two garbage bags stood by the door. Above them, on the wall, hung two lonely nails. Their white heads camouflaged them from the last time the wall was painted. Every time, he threw them a suspicious glance. Next to them hung photos of him and his mother on a swing, together at the beach, and a few simple portraits. But the wedding pictures, as well as those of his father, were missing. When he tried to remember his face, he only saw a face not his father’s anymore. It all blurred somewhere in the muddy, filthy puddle of his past. He’d have to dig out the family album to remember properly. His gaze dropped again to the bags. “Right,” he muttered. “Thursday.”One was heavy, the other awkward to carry. After maneuvering them into the stairwell and closing the door, the old neighbor across the hall opened hers.“Morning... Felix,” she croaked hoarsely. “Would you be so kind?” She bent and pointed with a smoldering cigarette at her garbage beside her. As always, he smiled. “Good morning, Mrs. Koll. Of course, I’ll take it.” She was kind, but in his imagination, she looked like an evil fairy tale witch. Then he dragged the bag out. “You’re a good boy,” she coughed harshly and immediately took a deep drag, making her cigarette glow brightly. Then she wheezed, “Can you bring me something from the supermarket?” “Sure.”With trembling hands, she handed him a small shopping list and a twenty, both of which Felix stuffed into his pocket. “The rest is for you.” She always said that. “Yeah, I know.” Helpfully, he picked up the bags along with the annoying sports gear. “Thanks.” He always returned all the change to her, and this time would be no different. Mrs. Koll only had a small pension. Most of the time, he secretly slipped the money back into her wallet when he brought the groceries into her kitchen. It was kept right next to the fridge on a small shelf that wasn’t immediately noticeable. He only had to go down one floor. Mild spring air greeted him as he stepped outside the front door. He adjusted his backpack, then threw the trash into the large metal bins. They were really more like rolling containers. He wondered why everyone called them bins. Lost in thought, he set off. At a small intersection, Jessy and Marti were waiting for him. They always met at this spot by the old linden tree, coming from different directions. Over the decades, many couples had carved their initials into the bark of the sprawling tree. Marti squinted through narrow eyes, yawned, and constantly rubbed his eyes. Tall, lanky, a bit awkward, pale with dark circles under his eyes he loomed. The previous night had clearly left its mark on him. He was probably up until morning again, Felix thought. Marti found it difficult to tear himself away from virtual worlds. Standing next to him, smiling and bright-eyed, was Jessy. The two boys never understood how she always managed to look so fresh. Especially since she didn’t wear makeup like many other girls at school. She always went to bed late too and didn’t seem to need much sleep. A light breeze played with her long black hair. She was petite, delicate, smart, and outspoken. Marti scratched his head lazily. “Morning,” Felix greeted. Singing and smiling, Jessy said, “Good morning. So, finished downloading already?” “Yeah, everything went fine,” Felix replied, grinning. “It cut off for me at some point. I’ll check again later,” Marti said, yawning. "Stayed up too late again, huh?” Felix asked. “You’re a lost cause.” Marti waved him off lazily. “Yeah, yeah. ”The friends continued on their way to school, and after a few steps, Marti asked, “When do you want to start tomorrow, Felix?”,"I guess around seven,” he shrugged. “What do you guys think?”, "Sounds good,” Jessy said with a smile. “I can’t wait finally. The best game in years.”

Felix really didn’t like this kind of behavior. The thought of stepping in made him uncomfortable; he feared getting slapped. Timo was a hothead and could easily lose his temper. Still, Felix summoned some courage. Leading with his shoulder, he pushed himself right into the middle.
“Just cut it out,” he said, more firmly than he intended.
Since he was a head shorter than Marti, Timo looked at him, puzzled.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked incredulously.
“Nothing.” Felix didn’t look him in the eye, fearing it might provoke him.
Timo chuckled briefly and looked back at his buddy. “Did you see that?”
“Yeah, the little guy’s asking for trouble,” the friend grunted.
“Let’s just leave it alone, okay?”
Timo thoughtfully pressed his lips together and squinted. Then he raised his hand. Felix was sure he was about to slap him wouldn’t have been the first time. A twinge of fear clawed at his gut, and he felt his pulse in his neck. His muscles tensed then came the hand. But it only patted his cheek, making him flinch.
“There, there. All good,” Timo said, grinning, clearly pleased to have scared him. As he turned away, Felix relaxed. But then Timo’s friend took a swing from behind and smacked him on the head.
Anger simmered inside Felix, spreading, his lips pressed tightly together. He wanted so badly to punch that jerk in the face. But he couldn’t find the nerve. He never really had it just the will and the belief in doing what was right.
He exhaled sharply as the two moved on to change. “You okay?” Marti asked.
Felix only nodded silently and stepped out of his jeans.
“Thanks.”
Felix nodded again, looked at him, and forced a smile. He hoped these idiots would eventually get bored of their games. But ignorance and stupidity seemed to come with a tireless endurance.
A short while later, their P.E. teacher called the class together. Equipment had already been set up for them.
“I hate this,” Felix said, shaking his head.
“I know. Just do what you can,” Marti encouraged him.
“Of all things, the horizontal bar. I hate the bar.”
Marti didn’t look it at first glance, but he was good. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him his slim frame was all muscle. Their teacher, Mr. Schwenk, often asked him to demonstrate exercises for the class.
Felix’s contempt for sports always clashed with his motivation, which hovered near zero or more accurately, somewhere in the negatives.
That morning, the teacher pulled him aside to practice the starting move one more time. He managed to jump into support position, but couldn’t pull off the upward circle. So he gathered what little self-confidence he had, stepped up to the bar, and gripped it with both hands. “Felix, this is one of the easiest exercises. So far, everyone has managed to do it.” He clapped his hands encouragingly. Of course, it was all just for show Felix knew that. It wasn’t laziness or a lack of willpower. He simply couldn’t get it right, and eventually, he just didn’t care anymore. Why do I still have to do this nonsense? I’m almost seventeen, damn it. Sure, he thought, it’s tradition here. Being bad at sports was a disgrace to the whole school, the entire town maybe even the whole country, since tons of Olympians came from here!

“Great,” Felix muttered. With his right leg, he swung forward, grabbed the bar, and heaved himself up to… not even halfway. His shoes flopped limply onto the mat. He hated P.E.

“Tighten your core! Come on, keep practicing. I’m going to check on the others.”
Felix got back up and watched his teacher walk away. A good sports teacher who had won the German championships eight years ago. He had almost represented his country in the Olympic ring to win a medal. Felix respected that, for sure but he just wasn’t like that.
He asked himself: Why is everyone here so good at gymnastics? That can’t be normal. Are they all bred for it, or is someone just messing with me? And why does it smell musty again?
Fortunately, English was next. A breeze for Felix almost boring, really. He preferred Latin, but today was Thursday, not Friday. Tomorrow, he would again join in the structure of this ancient language, taught through German. It was about grammar and syntax, not learning to speak Latin. Fascinating, in his opinion. Unfortunately, it was only an elective and wouldn’t help much with his report card.
For him, it was a breeze. He spoke English even before he started school. Over time, he picked up French, Italian, and Japanese. The latter he taught himself just for fun because he liked the strange intonations. He also learned special ones like Klingon from Star Trek and Sindarin from The Lord of the Rings. Languages and dialects were just his thing. After school, he wanted to study in that field maybe even teach one day.
His friend was the opposite: excellent in sports, but completely lost here. Although the class was now lively from all the movement, Marti sat there blinking like he was done for. Then he built a little barrier out of books. Sitting two rows behind, he rested his head on his arms, drawing the usual whispers from classmates.
Felix often tried to support him, especially because Marti struggled to manage real life. In the virtual world, though, he was practically a genius. There were hardly any games he hadn’t at least tried. The problem was always the next day. Evenings and nights, Marti was laser-focused.
Felix figured the regular school day probably under-challenged him. His grades were decent, but if he really studied, his report cards would be impressive. So he pitied his friend, knowing that he wanted to change but couldn’t break out of his cycle.Finally, it got a little better. No doctor could explain why it helped, but all that mattered to him was that it did. After that, he felt capable of returning to everyday life somewhat. After school, Marti and Jessy were already standing by a bush across from the main entrance. Felix noticed that his friend seemed much more energetic than that morning; he was gesturing wildly and making all sorts of exaggerated facial expressions. That was typical of him.Felix thought Marti could easily pass as a one-man comedy show. At least, he always made Jessy laugh. As Felix joined them, Marti asked, “Where were you?” He looked skeptical, as his friend seemed a bit down.“I had to go to the bathroom again,” Felix said quietly. “That was the third time today, right?” Jessy asked to confirm. Felix nodded weakly. Marti kept a close eye on him. “You really look wiped out.” He placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “This has been happening more often lately, hasn’t it?” “Yeah, more and more lately.” “Then let’s go. You can rest at home,” Jessy suggested. Felix waved it off. “I have to buy a few things first.” “But afterwards?” He smiled at her. “Maybe I’ll feel better by then.” "Maybe,” she replied. “See you later, if you show up to game.” “We’ll see.” Felix waved a hand in farewell and made his way to the supermarket.It was just a short detour along a well-trodden path through the bushes behind the school. On the way, he fished out the crumpled paper that had once been a shopping list from his jeans pocket. His fingers had to work carefully and skillfully to unfold it back into a readable state. It was a mystery how it had crumpled up so badly. With some patience, he managed to restore it and then strolled through the aisles to pick up a few items. Again and again, he found himself passing shelves absentmindedly without putting anything into the basket. He just couldn’t banish that voice from his head. Sometimes it seemed stronger, sometimes weaker. The only thing he was certain of was that, in some way, it was part of him. Even if it was just a ghost in his head, it often felt disturbingly real. Instinctively, he knew there was more to it. At the checkout, he noticed a headline on a major German newspaper. “First day of trial for the Knight of the Rhine,” it read, exaggeratedly spread over half a page. This so-called knight was probably just a poor madman whose mind had completely escaped him. Felix had followed the events only on the periphery. Someone had run through Cologne with a medieval sword. Another man was killed by him in the middle of the street. He kept shouting that he just needed to get home. Surely, they’d commit him to a psychiatric hospital as soon as the judges...

An old, small, thin man with round glasses began the lesson. He went to great lengths to ignore Marti. Too many warnings, detentions, or parent-teacher meetings had brought no improvement. Since his grades were otherwise fine, no one could really do anything about it. Most teachers had eventually just given up. In the middle of the lesson, snoring was heard, and Marti jerked awake, knocking over his wall of books. One of them smacked loudly onto the floor, flat on its cover. Laughter spread through the class.
“Silence!” the teacher scolded, wrinkling his nose and glaring at Marti. Marti, still drowsy, tried to make sense of the situation. He put his hand to his forehead. A strange cold feeling crept over Felix. At first, he thought he might be getting sick, but then realized it wasn’t entirely physical. A tightness clamped around his chest, while fear churned in his stomach.
Ha!
Felix shuddered, goosebumps rising all over, and looked around. He was sure he had heard something, but no one looked at him. And no one in his class had a voice like that. Then it dawned on him: he hadn’t heard it in a while, but it was familiar as long as he could remember. The musty smell from that morning was connected, too.
He really believed he might suffer from some unknown neurological disorder. Maybe he was on his way to long-term care, strong meds, and a room just for him.
Since the teacher continued with the lesson, he tried to follow. But the voice in his head grew louder, even though he couldn’t understand it. Slowly, a shimmer crept into the edge of his vision, affecting his concentration for the rest of the day. He blinked heavily, rubbed his eyes, and a burning spread across his forehead.
By the first break, Felix staggered to the restroom as the disturbance disrupted his balance. Some classmates gave him a sympathetic glance, but since many knew he sometimes had sensory or nerve issues, they left him alone.
He accidentally slammed the bathroom door open, the handle hitting the wall. When he realized how much force he used, he tried to stop it, but his sluggishness prevented it. The rubber stopper, worn over the years, stood no chance.
Groaning, he braced himself on the sink with both arms. He stared at his flickering, blurry reflection in the mirror. He turned on the tap, which only sputtered cold water, and splashed it on his face. Then he laid a damp paper towel on his neck, and after ten endless minutes, it became... finally a bit better. Why it helped, no doctor could say, but all that mattered to him was that it did.

Afterward, he felt able to return to everyday life, at least somewhat.
After school, Marti and Jessy were already standing by a bush opposite the main entrance. Felix noticed that his friend seemed much more energetic than he had been that morning; he was talking with hands, feet, and wild facial expressions. That was typical for him.
Felix thought Marti could easily pass as a one-man show.
At least, he always made Jessy laugh with it.
When Felix joined them, Marti asked, “Where were you?” He looked skeptical because his friend seemed down.
“I had to go to the bathroom again,” Felix said quietly.
“That was the third time today, right?” Jessy asked to confirm.
Felix nodded weakly.
Marti kept eyeing him. “You really look exhausted.” He laid a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. “That’s been happening more often lately, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it has.”
“Then let’s go. You can rest at home,” Jessy said.
Felix waved her off. “I need to pick up some groceries first.”
“But afterward?”
Smiling, he told her, “By then I might be okay again.”
“Maybe,” she replied. “See you later, if you show up to game.”
“We’ll see.” Felix waved and headed for the supermarket.
It was just a short detour, down a worn path between bushes behind the school. On the way, he pulled a crumpled piece of paper that had once been a shopping list from his pocket. His fingers had to work carefully and skillfully to make it readable again. It was a mystery how it got so twisted. With a little patience, he managed, then wandered the aisles to pick up the small items. But he kept passing things without putting them in the basket, lost in thought. He couldn’t manage to banish that voice from his mind. Sometimes it was stronger, sometimes weaker. The only thing he knew for sure was that, in a way, it was part of him. Even if it was just a ghost in his head, it often felt very real. Instinctively, he knew there was more behind it.
At the checkout, he noticed a headline in a major German newspaper.
“First day in court for the Knight of the Rhine,” it dramatically declared across half a page. This so-called knight was likely just a poor madman whose mind had completely snapped. Felix had followed the events back then from a distance. Someone had run through Cologne with a medieval sword. Another man had been killed by him in broad daylight. All the while, he kept shouting that he just needed to get home. Surely, they’d lock him up in a psychiatric ward as soon as the judges...
a verdict had been passed. Felix just felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. An unpleasant little wave of cold crept down his spine. That’s exactly how he felt when he saw that knight on the news back then. Every cell in his body was on high alert. For a brief moment, he felt that something didn’t add up at all.

“Twelve eighty-three,” said the friendly cashier, pulling him out of his drifting thoughts. 
He handed her a twenty and pocketed the change. “Thanks.” 
“Have a nice day.” 
“Thanks, you too.” 

He could carry the few items in his arms. He still heard the voice in his head, but as if it were far away, on a hill. It seemed like the sound of the wind half-swallowed it. His way home took only five minutes. With his elbow, he rang Frau Koll’s doorbell. 
“Yes?” came a strained croak from the intercom. 
“Felix.” 
“Who?” 
Louder, he said, “Felix.” 
“All right, all right.” 

With the buzz of the lock, the door popped open a crack. He turned backward into the old, shabby stairwell. When he reached the first floor, his neighbor’s door was already open; she was sitting at the kitchen table. Felix stepped out of his shoes and entered. Ever since he was a child, he would bring her little things. If she needed more, Frau Koll would ask his mother.

With a surprising swiftness and practiced motion, the old, slow, hunched woman flicked open a Zippo lighter. An old, dented thing with a worn-out star sticking out. Below it once read “U.S. Army.” Most of the letters were hard to make out now. He wasn’t sure what story lay behind it. Maybe she had an American soldier as a husband? He wondered how old she was. Felix thought it rude to ask.

As he stepped up to the kitchenette, the old woman followed him with her eyes. Her gentle smile didn’t quite fit her little witch-like figure and voice. The tobacco glowed with a crackle, and she softly closed the lighter lid. She smoked some old unfiltered German wild brand surely hellishly strong and disgusting. The pack was still wrapped in yellow paper instead of a box. 

Smoke wafted past Felix. He didn’t like the smell. 
He placed the groceries in the fridge, secretly tucked the change into her coin purse. 
“Thanks,” Frau Koll coughed, exhaling steam. 
“No problem, see you later.” 

She waved gently as he grabbed his shoes and walked into the hallway. The key often stuck. Felix had to pull the door and eventually push it open. This time, it was worse than usual. Only after some forceful rattling did it give way. He let his shoes drop in the corner then paused.

The white nails in the wall were gone—because now pictures hung there. Hesitantly, he looked at them. The wedding photo of his parents, standing by a riverbank under a birch tree. Behind them, sunlight shimmered softly, out of focus, on the waves. He had to admit, his mother looked.

Even though they didn’t have a big wedding, they still didn’t shy away from fine clothes.
Champagne-colored, light and long was the dress. Her hands held a bouquet of wine-red and orange.
His father was dressed classically black suit, white shirt, with a small red rose on the lapel, along with a matching tie.

Next to it hung another photo of Felix, at four years old. He was being tossed into the air by his father.
Hands stretched out toward him, ready to catch. That was also the last memory of him.
A good memory, yes, but Felix had to press his lips together. Melancholy rose like a wave in his throat and streamed down to the pit of his stomach.
Felix swallowed, feeling uneasy seeing these images without warning.
He hadn’t expected it to affect him so deeply after all those years of therapy—but it did.
Grief began to creep into his heart and settle there.

Felix groaned, tore himself away from the memories and emotions.
“Mom?”
No answer. She could’ve at least talked to him beforehand. But now she wasn’t home.
His steps grew sharper with anger and carried him into the living room.
“Mom?”
Nothing. He was alone. Felix sighed and exhaled deeply. He banished those lousy feelings, grabbed them, crumpled them up, and tossed them into the mental trash.
He had neither the time nor the patience for them.

Then he threw his sports gear into a corner of the hallway, his backpack onto a kitchen chair.
Every movement seemed to fuel his anger further.

A snack would be just the thing now. For moments like this, packs of Asian instant noodles were stored in a kitchen cabinet.
Felix picked one with duck flavor and filled the electric kettle.
While it heated, he opened the packet with scissors.
He used to rip it open, but after noodles once flew across the kitchen, he decided to be more careful.

Spices, oil added to the bowl, poured over with water, then briefly left to sit.
He grinned with satisfaction because he really liked this stuff.
Honestly, he was almost addicted, and the trash bin could confirm it.
Good thing he had emptied it this morning.

Felix glanced at the clock. Just after four, the show had already started.

So he placed his soup on the living room table, turned on the TV, and searched quickly for the remote, which was hiding behind a couch cushion.
He threw himself onto the sofa, then changed the channel.
Lucky he had almost forgotten, even though he watched it as often as he could.

Even though Felix already knew every episode by heart, he didn’t want to miss his favorite show:
Star Trek: The Next Generation, with Captain Jean-Luc Picard, who, with his calm demeanor, resolved many tricky situations.
Just a small part of a scene was enough for Felix to recognize the episode.
Even though the main character was fictional, Felix still looked up to him.
He was one of the heroes from his childhood, back when the painted special effects and studio-built alien planets didn’t seem outdated.
Nowadays, they didn’t impress anyone anymore. The second character Felix looked up to was Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings. Brave, loyal, a good fighter, and he resisted the temptations of the One Ring. Others idolized musicians or football players. Not an option for him, as the incredible worlds of science fiction and fantasy held far too much fascination for him. Just this one episode, then he still had some homework to do. Just as he sat down and got started, he heard the front door. "Felix?" his mother called. "Are you there?" "Kitchen. "She came to him and stopped in the doorway. Felix blinked at her skeptically. "Something wrong?" she asked. Her hair was short very short and styled with spray. A crooked fringe hung over her forehead. She smiled contentedly, but seemed unsure, as Felix showed hardly any reaction. Yesterday she still had a ponytail, and even if the hairstyle looked good, he found the change extreme. Then those photos. Felix couldn't help but wonder what was going on here, as major changes unsettled him. "You were at Barbara’s," he stated. "Yes. What’s wrong?" She slowly came in and sat across from him. "And the photos with Dad?" she smiled gently, as she usually did. She had sacrificed a lot to make ends meet with her son. Giving up was never an option not with a child. When she thought she was alone, she cried. She probably believed Felix didn’t notice, but he did. At least sometimes." Why, just like that?" he asked further. "I think it's time. Mrs. Kemmler is hopeful. When was the last time you talked to her?" "Whatever. I don’t think it’s a good idea." A stern silence filled the room, but his mother broke it before it became uncomfortable. "If it makes you feel bad, you should make an appointment." Felix loudly opened a book. He didn’t want to talk especially not about his feelings. "I still have schoolwork to do," he said coldly. It was getting harder and harder for his mother to reach him. Naturally, at his age. Letting go, but still holding onto the good past. She was sure Felix still hoped to see his father again one day. The police had given up after weeks; the case didn’t make much sense and nothing new ever came to LIGHT. "I’ll start dinner," she said, then pushed her chair back. She had no intention of pushing further, but she still wanted to say one thing Felix noticed it out of the corner of his eye. "We have to get used to it.", "Do we?" he murmured, then buried himself in his Schoolwork . His mother sighed. She prepared onions, carrots, and Garlic . "Today we’re having Bolognese. Is your new game ready to go?” she asked, as the kitchen knife clacked on the cutting board. Felix grumbled, which meant “yes.” He had no desire for a conversation. "If you’re staying up late, don’t go too long. Around eleven…”" Got it. Good thing they’re coming,” he interrupted. His grandma could be overprotective, which could be annoying, but she really just wanted to take care of everyone properly. "I’m making pizza for you all.” She knew he liked her homemade kind. She hoped it would lift his bad mood. But Felix just mumbled in vague agreement. He felt hurt the photos could’ve stayed in the drawer, like they had for years. In the evening, he sat down at his PC, pulled his headphones over his ears, and flipped down the mic. His two friends were already online in the voice channel. Marti swore loudly before he could even say hello. "What’s up?” Felix asked. Marti grumbled, “Damn machine. It won’t accept the new graphics driver. But it won’t work without it.” Felix rolled his eyes and leafed through a Perry Rhodan anthology.“ How are your senses?” Jessy asked." All okay again.” But now that his attention was back on it, he thought he smelled something musty." Shall we pack our stuff after school tomorrow? I don’t want to start in the evening,” she said. "You can hardly wait, huh?”," Stupid thing,” Marti grumbled. Having computer problems wasn’t unusual for him. He regularly swapped out parts and tested different programs. "We were ten.” Jessy sounded full of energy. She probably didn’t notice how loud she was getting." It was already the best game back then. Now we’ve got a whole world ahead of us, and tomorrow it finally starts, woohoo,” she squealed with excitement. “I’m playing an elf… no, a halfling… wait… or maybe a dwarf… or half-giant? Yeah, cool half-giant.” Felix grinned and shook his head. She’d always had trouble making decisions. She wanted to do everything at once, but often took on too much. "Piece of junk,” Marti muttered." So, my mom can drive us to Felix’s with the stuff tomorrow.” A few seconds passed before Marti responded. “Huh? What?”, "We’ll pack my stuff into Mom’s car, then drive to your place and pack yours, and then we’ll drive…”, Yeah, got it. Maybe this junk will be running by midnight. That’s when the first servers go live.”Felix leaned back on his chair a bit, bored." It’ll work out, Marti,” he said." Want to game a bit, Felix?”On the one hand, he noticed that the sensory illusions made him tired. On the other hand, he just wasn’t in the mood to play anything with Jessy, because his old favorite game was about to be released. A vast virtual world awaited him, ready to be explored. It was an almost perfect birthday present.

“No, I’m tired and just want to read a bit.”
“Okay, see you tomorrow then, when we celebrate. I mean after midnight. Then we’ll just celebrate Saturday.”
“Yeah, got it. See you tomorrow.” Felix pushed up his microphone.
“See you then.”
“Yeah, see you then… Oh, damn it!”
Felix stared blankly at his computer and listened as it shut down. Now he really felt how exhausting the day had been. But the day after tomorrow was his birthday, and he was looking forward to it. Also to two cousins, three aunts, and an uncle. But especially to his dear grandparents. He just didn’t know that he would never see them again.
The story of Perry Rhodan and a soft, familiar voice in the background accompanied him into sleep.
This time, it wasn’t Disturbed that woke him, but a revolting, musty smell.
This can’t be happening, thought Felix, annoyed. Ugh, how disgusting.
He tried to turn in bed, but it was even worse than the day before. He felt like he hadn’t moved in ages. Every bone ached. His muscles were stiff. He hadn’t thought the body had that many. As he stretched, several vertebrae cracked. Felix grimaced in pain.
“Ouch.”
He could barely lift his torso, so he rolled out of bed. Even if he couldn’t get up, he managed to crawl into the bathroom. Then he dragged himself into the shower, hoping the hot water would help. After a while, as the bathroom disappeared into a tropical haze, he actually started to feel a bit better. Normal movements were still limited, but he’d just have to shuffle around like a zombie. One or two aspirins would surely help.
Eventually, he was ready to face the new day, an opponent that always held something unknown for him. By the afternoon, he needed to be fit enough to dive into an adventure with his friends. He slung his backpack over his shoulders with stiff movements. As he stepped through the apartment door and was about to close it, his eyes fell again on the photos with his father.
Foreign bodies. Intruders. They hung there, looking down at him with condescending mockery.
Where is he now? they would probably ask.
Felix snorted, unwilling to get used to it.
Mom’s wrong, he thinks.

A reminder was enough for him. He took it off and placed it upside down on the kitchen table. A clear signal to his mother that he was against it. On his way out, the wall could be what it was supposed to be again. Limping, he struggled down the stairs.

At the linden tree, Jessy and Marti were waiting for him, but he didn’t get a “morning” as a greeting.
“Man, you really look like crap,” Marti said.
“You’re not exactly a model yourself,” Felix shot back.
Jessy agreed: “You really don’t look good. Are you okay?”
“Just my brain acting weird again,” Felix said glumly. “Slept badly.”
The friends exchanged worried glances, because without solid proof of what kept messing with his senses, no one could do anything.
Throughout the school day, he kept having trouble seeing properly. The world seemed darker, but the musty smell and the voice were gone. Still, he would have preferred to swap.
He kept muttering, “It’ll pass.” It almost sounded like a magic spell.
Even though his eyes hadn’t failed him for a long time, it used to happen constantly five years ago. It only started to get better around noon. After two more school periods, it was finally time – birthday preparations.
The three friends first went to Jessy’s place. You could hear her excitement from two hundred meters away. Their good mood made them joke around and talk nonsense, as only friends at that age can do.
Jessy lived with her family in a nice little yellow house. Her eight-year-younger sister Miriam was already waiting impatiently in the front yard. She was totally unexpected, but welcomed with much joy. Doctors had said their mother couldn’t get pregnant again after a serious illness, but nature had other plans.
“When are you leaving again?” Miriam asked cheekily.
“I just got here. You want to get rid of me already, huh?” she laughed.
“Maybe.”
“Hey,” the two boys greeted at the same time.
“Hello,” Miriam smiled. “But you’re going to the birthday party, right?”
“Hands off my mangas! You know they’re not for you.” Jessy raised her index finger threateningly, but Miriam would still borrow or steal some.
The front door opened and Jessy’s father greeted them kindly. “Hi, guys. One last quick coffee?”
“Yeah, sure,” Marti said enthusiastically.
Felix just nodded slightly. Jessy asked cheekily, “Where is he?”
“He’s coming, just a sec.” Her father disappeared around the kitchen corner. It was a cluttered, almost overstuffed house.
“Let’s pack your stuff,” Marti said. He went straight up the stairs.
“Hey, shoes off!” Jessy called after him. Then she shook her head because he was already gone. “Unbelievable, that guy.”
She went in, slipped off her shoes, and followed to grab a bag for the cables.

Felix trudged upstairs a bit sluggishly, as the day had been exhausting. The recurring visual obstruction strained his eyes. Still, he asked what else he could do while the other two were collecting everything.
“In the basement, by the stairs, there’s a red folding basket with stuff. You can bring that.”
“All right.”
So back downstairs again. The trip was probably for nothing, he thought.
From somewhere in the house, Jessy’s mother shouted, “When are you leaving?”
“After the coffee, Mom!” she yelled back.
“It’s almost ready!” echoed from the kitchen.
Even though the basement door closed behind him, Felix could hear everything clearly. This family had excellent vocal cords.
“I want cookies!” screamed Miriam, hopping noisily into the kitchen.
Felix waited near the front door with the basket in hand. Chips, chocolate, and a few energy drinks were inside. At the same time, Jessy came down the stairs. Felix’s jaw dropped in astonishment.
“Since when do you have that?” he asked, surprised. “You haven’t said anything about a new computer.”
“Surprise!” said Jessy with a big grin. “Awesome, right?”
“Totally,” Felix agreed, nodding.
“It was time for a new one,” she said. “Just wait till I fire this beast up.” She laughed from ear to ear.
“Coffee’s ready!”
“Yeah, in a sec! Mom, car keys?” she called.
“It’s unlocked!” came the singsong reply.
“Thanks!” She walked past Felix. “Come.”
He followed her. Marti then came along with a cloth bag full of cables, mouse, keyboard, and the monitor tucked under his arm.
They loaded everything into the station wagon, then went to the kitchen. Marti downed the hot black coffee.
Felix thought he was either immune to heat or didn’t feel pain.
“So,” he didn’t just set the cup down, he slammed it on the table. Luckily, it didn’t break. “Let’s go.”
“Can we at least finish drinking?” asked Jessy.
“Fine. You can pick me up later,” he said and immediately disappeared.
Felix poured more sugar than usual into the coffee.
“Oops.” When he took a sip, it was too much.
“Need a new one?” asked Jessy’s father.
“No, it’s fine.” He took another sip and grimaced. “A little milk to dilute it wouldn’t hurt,” he decided.
Jessy giggled to herself.  

“I like it sweet,” 

Miriam said.
Her older sister laughed at her. “You suck on sugar cubes when you can't find cookies.”
“That was only once,” she defended herself innocently.
They finished their cups and went to the car.
“Are you driving, Dad?”
“Yes. Mom's busy.”
“Have fun and don't party too hard!” Jessy's mother called.
“That only applies to those drinking alcohol,” said Jessy.
“Thanks.”
“See you tomorrow evening, Mom.”
“See you then.”
“See you tomorrow,” said Miriam.
“Hands off my collection.”
Miriam smiled mischievously after her.
They got in and drove the few blocks over to Marti, who was waiting at the garden gate.
Felix was about to get out. “I'll help you.”
“No need, it’ll be quick.”
“Of course,” said Jessy.
Marti quickly loaded his things and they drove to their destination.
“Have fun,” said Dad.
“We will, Dad.”
They carried everything upstairs. Felix froze. The photos were back up. His mother greeted the three of them kindly but didn’t say a word about the pictures.
“Can you bring the stuff in?” Felix asked his friends casually, then stared forward seriously.
“Come on,” Jessy said to Marti. The two disappeared into the room and closed the door. The sudden bad mood was palpable in the air.
“Take them down, or I will.” Felix was just plain angry.
One of those rare moments occurred when she pushed aside her normally positive nature. Her already thin lips formed a narrow straight line.
“It’s time for you to accept the past and move on, Felix.”
He snorted. “Accept what? A locked car with the engine running? No traces?” He didn’t even notice he was getting louder. “What? What else? He’s gone? Yeah, great. How?”
“Don’t talk to me in that tone.”
“I'll talk however I want. Suddenly you want to leave it all behind? When did that happen? Do you have a new dad for me or what?” He couldn’t admit to himself yet how deeply it hurt him.
She shook her head sharply. “Even if I did, life has to go on at some point.”
“Oh yeah? With who, exactly?”
She laughed in disbelief. “I don’t have to justify myself to you.”A short silence. Felix’s mind was spinning, then it dawned on him. Of course they sometimes saw each other before school or while shopping and liked to give each other those weird smiles, he thought.

"Not Schwenk, right?"
But she didn’t answer, just stared at him stubbornly. It looked like a silent confession.
He rolled his eyes. “He’s my PE teacher, dammit.”
“I know.”
“Why not the Latin one? Ah, yeah right. Marti saw him once at the pool…”
“Don’t.”
“…in the showers.”
“Stop it now!”
“They say he’s got a massive one.”
A slap echoed and his left cheek burned. Felix didn’t know she had such a strong swing. He was bitter, worked himself up. But he believed he was right. The PE teacher, of all people.
Groaning, she warned him: “Just behave yourself tomorrow.”
Now he looked directly into her face again. “Only for grandma and grandpa. Otherwise, screw you.”
Felix brushed past her. She didn’t say another word, let him go, calm down. Maybe also for her own sake.
When he entered his room, he first closed the door, leaned his back against it, and exhaled heavily. Reserved glances observed him.
“So,” Jessy began slowly, “let’s get started.”
Together they set up another table and two chairs. It got a bit crowded. The computers were set up. Marti carefully laid out the cables. Even the ones that were as stubborn as old donkeys were brought into a wonderfully neat line.
“Do you really have to go to all this trouble?” Jessy asked impatiently.
“He can’t stand chaos, otherwise he loses it.”
Marti looked at them sternly. “Don’t know what your problem is. Looks awesome.”
Felix nodded. “IT technicians would be jealous if they could do it like you.”
“You just have to be kind to your hardware,” he explained.
“Sure. As kind as last night,” Jessy noted.
“Ready for the checklist?” Felix asked.
“Let’s go,” said Marti.
“Energy?” Felix looked at their supplies, Jessy was standing next to them. “Check,” she said.
“Chips?”
“Check.”
“Chocolate?”
“Check.”
“Energy?”"

Check.""

Pizza?" Marti suddenly asked.

"What?" Jessy groaned and rolled her eyes. "Are you hungry again? You just stuffed your face on the way home."
"It was just a question," Marti replied innocently.
"Tonight. Can you hold out until then?" Felix asked. Marti nodded at him.
"Okay, so cookies, cola, and especially energy drinks?"
"All check," Jessy cheered.
Marti threw himself onto a chair. "Let’s go. We’ve got a lot to do and no time to lose."
The three formed a group to tackle countless challenges. Each used their chosen character's unique abilities. Now it was about using their individual traits effectively and functioning reliably as a team.
Felix’s task was to protect the others. As a wizard, Marti provided all sorts of tactical tricks. To survive their adventures, Jessy’s duty was as a healer. They explored their long-awaited virtual world, solved puzzles, collected money, encountered many other players, and fought against a variety of monsters. Felix glanced at the clock now and then because he didn’t want to go to bed too late on account of his grandparents. The game was so absorbing, they could easily have played until sunrise.
Eventually, everyone settled down. Their favorite game from back then, where only a handful of people tackled a linear experience together, had grown into a vast, living, and independent world. For Felix, it was one of the best birthdays aside from the little issue with his mother.
Sleep took him quickly, but before drifting off completely, he briefly thought about that musty smell creeping into his nose again.