One Way To Keep a Promise

Sleet pelted hard against the enchanted cabin of the stagecoach, tempest-like winds and coldness billowing through the thinning forest. Ferris's gaze remained locked on the window and at the peaks that towered in front of them, the last real barrier that separated them from Nexuspoint and their answers.

The weather had only grown more inclement the further they'd gone, as if to warn off the travelers from their destination, yet despite that and the heaviness of the topic the party had all discussed mere hours ago, a warmness bubbled through the air, with the source of it nestling against her side.

Citrine's arms tightened around the warrior's unarmored form, stripped aside as to afford more space within the confines of the vehicle. It was a rather large one, with two main compartments and another at the rear, but with the five of them, it bordered on the line of cozy and too close. Thankfully, Larkspur, Durma, and Clunk had taken occupancy of the other cabins like they'd done so on the way here, allowing the couple their own privacy behind thick, padded walls.

"Ferris?" the half-elf asked, voice gentle as she locked gazes with her. "Are you still hung up on our conversation?"

The warrior's lips twitched as they settled back onto her, still trying to comprehend the casualness in which Citrine spoke of the topic. After the half-elf had woken up, they'd all done their best to explain everything: how things had accelerated, how emotions affected things, and how to formulate some sort of plan to mitigate things.

Yet, despite the seriousness of it all—

Soft lips suddenly rose to brush against her cheek, a warm wetness pressing against her skin for a spell.

Ferris's body flared up, her heart jumping at the contact. She pulled away, her face red-hot as she turned towards the other woman.

"C-Citrine, please. We talked about this! You're not supposed to be doing things like that anymore." Her tone came out less stern than she'd wanted it to, the embarrassment from the kiss overriding the concern. "We just have to hold off until Nexuspoint, then once we find a solution—"

Once again, delicate lips cut off the ogrelyn, this time pressed to hers.

"!" Emerald eyes widened, the rest of her sentence quickly dying as the half-elf's hand caressed the warrior's cheek and shifted to straddle her. Ferris' mind blanked, mouth slackening as she felt the tip of a tongue slip past her defenses and gently press onward.

Heat and intimacy exchanged between the two for an unknown amount of time, the world slowly passing by them. It only broke once air was needed and pulled apart, a thin strand briefly bridging panting mouths and swimming heads.

"C-Citrine…"

"Shhh." A finger pressed to her lips, this time more resolute than playful. "Ferris, we're not waiting. If the last night's incident taught me anything, it's that I don't want to leave a moment of this journey with regrets." The half-elf's gaze softened. "I've already made my peace with the fact that my fate may be sealed, so—"

The warrior's heart twinged, a flare nearly erupting from her core. "No, stop saying that! You're not going to die, Citrine, especially not this soon! You still have a year left at minimum, right? And even then, once this curse has been dealt with, you'll live for much longer!"

The weather's howl echoed faintly in the background, both of them still close enough to bask in mutual warmth.

"I don't even have a year left from what we've discussed. It's already progressed beyond that." Citrine eyes briefly watered before clearing again. "But that's not the point. I'm not going to waste my time on maybes or the future, Ferris."

A gulp. "Look, I can sort of understand. But to suddenly escalate things this far? We've only just gotten used to dating and intimacy, but with this it's almost like—"

Another kiss, deeper than the first. This time though, Citrine didn't stop, her hands running through Ferris's hair and down her neck. Despite the half-elf's size, the ogrelyn found herself pushed downward onto the rest of the cushioned bench, her larger frame covered as the smaller woman took charge, pressing the entirety of her body against hers.

"C-Citrine, please, what has gotten into—" the words were smothered as her tongue was entangled and teased.

Her mind swam in the sensations: heat and pressure, the feeling of hands wandering, touching, caressing, scent, taste, and warmth. It was overwhelming, intoxicating, in a way that she'd never had before.

She wanted to protest, to push the half-elf away and scold her for being so reckless. But at the same time, she found herself wanting more of this: the closeness, the intimacy, Citrine.

"…" Her partner was breathing hard, something swirling behind those golden irises.

"See? Isn't this much better than worrying?" the mage asked, an unpracticed yet genuine smile crossing her face. "We can do whatever we want, Ferris, venture wherever we please. Just think of it as an accelerated courtship, one made to accommodate the circumstances."

The ogrelyn swallowed, her heart still thudding against her ribcage as she struggled to not get swept away in the current. "Citrine, please, I get it but… I'm worried about you. I'm worried about us. I want to explore, I want to live a full life by your side—see and experience everything I've missed! What happened to the Diadem? The one who always had a plan, always knew what to do, who was always right?"

The half-elf's smile faltered at her words, but just as quickly as it had come, it disappeared.

"She's still here in some ways." A hand pressed to her chest. "And I'm not disregarding those things. I'm not. It's just…"

Her head shook, her body pulling back as she took a deep breath, an entire lifetime flashing in her expression.

"I'm tired, Ferris. Of doing things the 'right' way or being bound to the greater good. Structure, order, plans, moderation, caution? That's all I've known my life. I've always done exactly what was expected of me and never strayed from the path."

She looked up, her gaze firm, yet gentle as it met the warrior's.

"But now that the end is likely here, I'm just… tired."

The Adamantine had no words, only a falling heart and the sound of sleet and rain.

"Point is, I don't want to worry anymore. I don't have time to. I might not even have a month left, let alone a year." Deft hands trailed from her face and to her chest, fingers curling into the fabric of Ferris's top, dangerously close to where the gem lay hidden. "I want to live how I want to. And right now? I want you."

Ferris swallowed, the words stabbing her chest like a demented yet desirable knife.

"Please," Citrine said, eyes watering once more as the half-elf looked up. "Let me have you."

"…Don't tell me that bashfulness above the lake was just a ploy?" Ferris quipped, trying to disarm the tension.

"…No. I was rather embarrassed. But that doesn't change my feelings now." Citrine's hands squeezed, undeterred, the fabric twisting beneath her grip.

"I need this, Ferris. I need to feel, to experience, to—"

"!" A flash of pain blazed across her features before she could finish, the half-elf nearly collapsing onto the ogrelyn's chest as she writhed. A cry escaped her throat as lifeforce ebbed, seizing muscles and sending the woman's heart into a frenzy.

"Citrine!" Ferris's arms moved to wrap around her, her voice frantic. "See?! This is exactly why you need to slow down! You're only hurting yourself more by pushing yourself like this!"

"I-I'm fine." The half-elf's voice shook, her face buried into the other's neck as tremors were forced away. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not!" Ferris protested, her own voice cracking. "You're killing yourself over nothing! Why can't you see that?"

"Nothing?!" Anger poured out at the word, half-elf tensing.

"Ferris, I'm killing myself so I can LIVE!"

Shock engulfed the cabin, the force behind the declaration almost frightening in comparison to the mage's usual tone.

Citrine had exclaimed before in the heat of battle or to emphasize a point, but to yell?

"…" Her face immediately withdrew, a hand raising to cover her mouth.

"S-sorry. I just—"

"Killing yourself to live?" The phrase came out nearly smoldering, burning both above and beneath her breast.

"…I'm not giving up on finding a cure for my curse, Ferris." The half-elf's voice quieted, expression dimming as her grip loosened on the warrior. "It's just that, I want to have lived. Surely you can understand that, right? You were brave enough to become yourself, why should I not be able to live out the rest of my days the way I please as well?"

"…" The ogrelyn bit her tongue, her heart torn in multiple directions, especially as guilt and the gem's heat churned in her core. She could see the reasoning in Citrine's words. She really could, and a part of her was screaming to just go with it. To allow her partner the indulgence she craved.

But she still shouldn't. Not when both their lives flittered in the balance.

Cinders smoldered through her veins as the woman struggled to keep her ever-burning emotions from spilling out.

Crap. This was bad. Her partner aside, if this kept up, it'd be impossible to keep her form, especially since it was already stretched far beyond the typical limits of what she could manage.

"!" The half-elf suddenly neared closer before she could find respite though, face flushed.

"Please, Ferris," Citrine said again, quieter and gentler than before.

"C-Citrine, hold on a moment. I just—"

"No, I'm tired of holding. I just need a little. Grant me this. You desire it too, don't you?"

Hands reached up to cup her burning face.

"I-I mean, I do—Crap, no. What I meant to say—"

The pad of a finger hushed her lips.

"If you're fine with it, then let's. Please?"

Pain and desire, logic and heart. They clashed in suppressed chests, fighting, struggling, until…

An ember passed between their gaze.

"…" Widened gold locked onto the glowing particle until it faded.

"Ferris, what was that?"

The world went into freefall at the question.

"C-Citrine?" Ferris immediately tried to get up, to quench the burning that was beginning to surge through her. "It was nothing. Nothing!"

"Show me," her partner stated, tone quiet in pieced-together realization. "What are you hiding?"

The warrior swallowed, trying to push away the half-elf.

Damn it, why did Citrine have to notice now?!

She couldn't let it come out like this—not yet! She still had to prepare, to find a time, a better excuse, anything.

"No. I can't. It's… it's…"

Her grip slackened, and she trailed off, the gemstone now radiating a fire that was sputtering out of control. She had to find the words to say something, anything to stop her partner. Otherwise, there would be no salvaging—

A kiss, soft, and warm, abruptly pressed to her collarbone.

"…" She wasn't sure what it was for this time. Was it for reassurance, sympathy, a distraction from whatever it was that was causing her pain? Perhaps an attempt to show that her feelings wouldn't change?

*crackle*

Regardless, that was the final straw.

Fire and cinder spun in her heart as threadbare magic threatened to unravel, stretched far beyond what should've been possible. Ferris knew that this was it. Regardless of whether or not she wanted, Citrine would know the truth. So, with a heavy breath and a gentle push of her partner to safety, she relented, allowing her form to fade away before it could on its own.

Heat saturated the cabin as the gem took its due. Skin and sinew bubbled, fire leaked from her form, and essence shifted as her impossible image fizzled, becoming undone.

"I'm sorry, Citrine."

Crimson and orange danced as muscle, bone, and body ballooned and realigned into something ugly. Something painful.

Something true.

Shoulders widened, hips narrowed. Features broadened, skin toughened. Throat tightened, hair coarsened.

Then, it stopped, leaving only a withered soul pocked by tainted flame.

"…" Wetness formed in her eyes, but she refused to shy away from the reality any longer. Even as a sob died in her throat, Ferris' gaze met Citrine's.

Her partner's voice, that same voice that had called her, held her, comforted her, and loved her, spoke.

"F-Ferris…?"

Hailstones battered against the carriage walls, the weather having worsened, and the wind picking up.

"…I truly didn't mean to keep this from you this long," the ogrelyn gruffed, a masculine tone once again rumbling in her voice like a hill grinding to dust. "I can understand it if you feel betrayed, disappointed, or even disgust, but—"

Warmth immediately cut the words off, slender arms wrapping as much as they could around the warrior's broad form.

"C-Citrine?"

She could feel her heart beat fast, nearly thundering as her partner squeezed her. "What are—"

"We have a lot to discuss—a lot, but first, you need to know this. Feel this." The half-elf's forehead rested against her chest, her voice wet. "Do you understand?"

Ferris didn't. Not at first, not until her mind finally processed the warmth, the heartbeat, and the tears that had begun to both dampen her chest and trail down her face.

"…" Her hands rose to wrap around the half-elf's back, a shaky exhale escaping as she grasped her partner. Despite her best efforts, a tremor ran through the two of them as she broke further, buckling beneath the moment.

She cried.

They stayed like that for a while, even as the Arborweave finally came to an end and gave rise to the mountains.

Silence reigned as the coach's wheels rolled from dirt to gravel. But eventually, Ferris spoke again, chest finally rising to bring some levity despite the agony in her soul and emotions within her arms.

A smile, genuine despite the hurt.

"That's one way to keep a promise, I suppose."