Susami Kaito

“You are such a letdown. I guess you will never amount to anything.”

Harsh right?

These were the first words I remember from my childhood. The words of my dear mother.

But it was not the words that stung so deeply; it was the look in her eyes. The look of someone who had given up on a failure. Cold and glazed over. Not looking at me, but beyond me. As if I did not exist at all.

It was at that moment that I knew I was dead to my mother.

My father was not much different. Although he never said anything directly, his silence spoke volumes. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think we shared a single conversation in over ten years. Sometimes I wished he would go to the corner store. It would be easier to explain his absence that way.

As soon as my younger sister was born, they ceased to acknowledge my existence at all. All their love and attention were directed towards her. Well, that’s a lie, I guess. It wasn’t as if she stole their love. They simply never loved me to begin with.

Did my mother’s comments haunt me?

Perhaps.

Or perhaps it was deeper than that. Maybe I was simply always inadequate at everything, and her comments were merely an observation of my abilities, not a life-altering trauma.

I can hope at least. Gee, cut me some slack.

Eighteen years ago, my parents gave me the name Susami Kaito, a name they bestowed when they still held hope for me. I was never too fond of it, though.

Now, all these years later, I am still searching for my place in this world. It may just be my stubbornness, but I refuse to believe I truly am hopeless.

Yeah, screw that! I'm great... It's the world that is wrong.

Some laughter briefly snapped me out of my musing, bringing me back to the class I was actively trying my best to escape from.

It was not as if I was particularly bad at school. But I was average, and painfully so. I excelled in nothing, yet I did not fail in anything either. Mediocre at best. Lunchtime was no different. That’s when everyone goes off into their little groups. The distance between others as they walk out of the room together really hits home how much of an outsider I truly am.

I'm not a loser, just a bit of an outcast. Or at least that’s what I would tell myself.

A part that curses the very world itself for being so unfair. If I could, I would love to stick my middle finger up to the world and say, ‘You dealt me these cards; look what I’ve done.’

The class resumed, but I failed to pay attention. I ran my left hand through my black hair and gazed out the window. Lost in my daydreams.

Perhaps one day I will find my place. How I long to escape from all this. A new self, a new me. I could go on a journey to find myself. What greater joy is there than finding oneself?

Well, treasure, I guess. To be surrounded by chest and booty.

But what are the chances of that happening?

Without any prior warning, a flash of white light engulfed the entire classroom. A few of the female class members screamed out in shock. Some of the guys yelled a few expletives.

A force of nausea and dizziness washed over me. The world felt like it was distorting around me. At the same time, I could feel my eyelids grow heavy. My consciousness began to wane. Just before my vision completely dimmed, and I fully blacked out, I heard a mysterious voice echo in my head.

Error. Insufficient transfer space. The system cannot copy everything properly. Skills are unable to be assigned.

▪──── X ────▪

End of Prologue