Chapter 1:

An Eye for an Eye

For You


“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth…”

Those words commanding retributive justice tarnished the classroom’s whiteboard; a whiteboard that most people never paid attention to anyway. Yet now even I was one of those fools. But although I wasn’t paying any attention, I certainly couldn’t ignore it.

Regardless of its literal or symbolic meaning, I couldn’t say I disagreed with it. To be frank, I find it hard to understand those who do. The only way to truly cleanse irreparable harm is through equivalent exchange, right? It’s not difficult to understand or justify.

“Do you know the answer, Taro?”

“Don’t know,” I said sluggishly, avoiding eye contact at all costs with not only my teacher, but everybody else in the classroom.

Even consuming another’s facial expression was too much for me right now.

Besides, I always found learning about religion tiresome, and today was making me hate it.

Just a few days ago, my younger brother, Junpei, was brutally attacked by a group of thugs while walking home from school. They killed him for no reason; they didn’t take anything from him; they didn’t know who he was.

They just…killed him.

It was the only day in the past year where my twin, Ren, and him didn’t walk home together. Ren told me they had an argument about something meaningless. I was no better. As usual, I didn’t go home with them; I stayed at school and studied, taking life too seriously.

“The central principle is that the punishment should match the severity of the crime, providing a just and balanced response to wrongdoing,” my teacher remarked as he distastefully interrupted my inner thoughts once again.

Everything that has happened up until now has made me question people who claim to have ‘faith’. Anyone who does is a hypocrite. Despite their self-proclaimed devotion to religion, hardly anyone ever practices it properly. It makes me wonder if they truly believed in anything to begin with.

And maybe that lack of conviction is exactly why society is falling apart. Everything feels too lenient now, too afraid to demand real accountability, too afraid to invoke common sense.

Even if those thugs were caught, the legal system would just prove my point. Twenty years? And then what? They get to live the rest of their life freely. That doesn’t seem fair to me. It shouldn't to anybody.

I’ve watched enough films since I was a child to know how I could take retribution myself. If no one else was going to bring the justice that was undeniably deserved, why shouldn’t I just do it myself? If they did it so easily, then why couldn’t I?

Wait.

That’s the one thing I had promised myself after I learned of my brother’s death: I wouldn’t delude myself into thinking I could do something like that. Not only would I be far too weak to do anything, but what if I killed the wrong person, or ended up killing more than one person?

Would I not become evil? Evil not only to their families, but also to everyone else who cared about them? I’m not so sure.

Sometimes I wonder if these thoughts make me soft or logical – or maybe both. I talk about justice, but admit I wouldn’t be able to do anything. It’s hypocrisy.

Yet what can I really do? My brother is already gone, and the fate of the one responsible lies in the hands of the law, not mine.

“Taro, sorry to bother you. Do you have a spare pen?”

“No.”

“But I can see one on your—

“No.”

After thinking about it, I feel bad for refusing to lend a pen to Akito. But then again, he didn’t really lose much from my rejection. He’d get over it pretty quickly. I wish that was the problem I had right now.

Despite being my only friend and competition in this class - competition I always enjoyed - I suddenly hated him. Every time he opened his mouth, I would imagine ripping his teeth out one by one, until he couldn’t speak properly anymore.

He believes in God, and always preaches to me his useless sermons. He was one of the first people who tried to comfort me the day after Junpei was killed. But instead of asking me about how I was, whether I wanted to be left alone, or if I needed anything, he greeted me with his ‘words of wisdom’.

“Taro,” he said, smiling imprudently.

“You should try to look at it positively. Your brother has now ascended into the prosperous realm of eternal living. That’s something we should all rejoice in. My Old Man told me–”

At that point I had heard enough of his mindless nonsense. His eyes filled with panic, fearfully looking down at me as I held him against the lockers.

“Cut it out! I don’t want to hear it! I never do–”

I remember my voice tearing so harshly that everyone around us stopped to watch. I wasn’t proud of what I did. After all, Akito was the smallest, most harmless student in the school. Everybody knew I wouldn’t have done something like that if it wasn’t him in front of me.

Even so, he deserved it.

He told me only one week before Junpei was killed that God was all-loving. That HE loved all humans equally, and would protect us from encroaching evil. Therefore, according to Akito, nothing like this should have ever happened.

Of course, he was wrong, just like always.

Perhaps I’d have considered listening to him more if the perpetrator was rightfully put to rest. Come to think of it, I wonder if the thugs have any brothers. Maybe–

“Taro!”

Aren’t teachers supposed to know when to leave their students alone? I was getting to the good–

“Taro! Are you deaf?!”

My whole body shook uncontrollably in response to Ren pinching me on the arm. I don’t think he ever quite understands just how strong he is. Or maybe I’m too fragile.

Somehow I was standing at the front entrance, in the exact spot Ren and I had agreed to meet at the end of the school day. I didn’t remember getting there, but my body made sure I did.

“Let’s go home together, like we promised mum and dad.”

Ren reached out for me. I took his hand. The moment we locked hands, I saw his face scream at me for a split-second. His eyes looked as though they had been bleeding. Still, I didn’t mention it. We never talked about things like that, even now.

We began walking home together, like we had promised our parents.

Being with Ren always made me feel safe. He was taller, stronger and more confident than I was. Because of that, he repelled almost anyone who tried to mess with me just by standing within a close distance.

Though, that didn’t stop people from laughing when they saw us walking home together while holding hands. Even though we were obviously brothers, they still made comments that were inappropriate and unnecessary. That included those who knew of our situation.

However, we didn’t care that people made fun of us. We felt safe when doing it, and that’s all that mattered.

“Remember, it’s Junpei’s funeral tomorrow. So we have to go and get our haircut later,” Ren said softly as he continued to stare straight into the distance.

I made a strange noise of acknowledgment as words refused to leave my mouth.

Almost immediately, I was back to drowning in the endless pit that had seized my mind.

I never thought I’d have to go to Junpei’s funeral. Although I was considered largely intelligent by those around me, I always lived behind the naive thought that Junpei couldn’t possibly die before me as he was my younger brother. He—

“Next, please.”

And suddenly, there I was, sitting in the barber shop.

One of the girls in my class once told me you always feel better after doing your make-up, or in the case of men, getting a haircut.

She was wrong. A haircut couldn’t bring Junpei back to life.

I wish something could.

For You


Dr.Haki
Author: