Chapter 1

I was about to be crushed by a truck and have my dream come true. The truck’s wheels would take me, Seo Igita, to another world, to an Isekai.

That day started normally. I woke to my alarm and checked the Truck-kun Isekai Fans forum, where people had discovered the secret to happiness by being reborn in an Isekai world.

The Isekai stories were true. All of them. Eleven Truck-kun Isekai Fans had gotten their own Isekai. The most recent one was perplexing the doctors by smiling in a coma. I wanted that so badly for myself!

We learned about Isekai from people that had woken from them. Many wanted to return. The Truck-kun Isekai Fans forum was a treasure trove of information for anyone wanting a better life through large vehicle trauma.

I followed my usual morning routine in my Tokyo apartment. I tapped my Truck-kun Isekai Fans check-in app to confirm I hadn’t yet been horribly injured while trying to save someone from a grizzly fate under a truck.

I prayed at my Truck-kun shine. It had newspaper clippings of successfully Isekai’d internet acquaintances, a plastic toy truck representing Truck-kun, and a red daruma luck doll.

The doll had one painted eye and the other missing. When I painted the first eye, I whispered, “I want to find a place where I can be happy.” If I was Isekai’d, another Truck-kun Isekai Fan would paint the other eye and collect my figurines.

Then the Truck-kun Isekai Fan app alerted me to a confirmed sighting of Truck-kun! A panel truck was wandering near my apartment while little girls chasing balls, clumsy puppies, and wayward baby carriages appeared in front of it, luring some lucky person to a heroic injury and exhilarating rebirth. If no one rescued them, the lures would disappear as the truck continued hunting.

Truck-kun was looking for someone. My heart raced as I ran. I was going to get run over! I was going to an Isekai!

Today Truck-kun appeared as a blue panel truck according to the app. I glanced around, then spotted my knight in shining aluminum armor. I stood at the sidewalk’s edge, ready to be reborn as anything except a single salary man with a boring office job. I had been a star negotiator, vital to my company, but was nearly let go in the latest cutbacks. Maybe I’d be reborn in a place with magic?

“Take me, Truck-kun.” I whispered, bending my knees to jump in front of the truck.

My bated breath caught in my throat. I needed to rescue someone! The Truck-kun Isekai Fans had learned that Isekai required a noble sacrifice. No heroism, no Isekai.

Panicked, I glanced around as Truck-kun, the heavenly panel truck to a better life, crossed the nearest intersection and sped toward me. What I wouldn’t give for a puppy to run out into the road right now. Was that so much to ask?

A boy stood nearby, clinging to a stuffed animal. With a mighty yell I knocked the toy into the road. The boy’s cry of dismay was drowned out by my heroic promise: “Don’t worry, I’ll save your stuffed animal!”

I dove, heedless of danger and tossed the toy back to the boy. He looked at me, shocked at my bravery, one eyebrow raised in confusion at my gallantry.

It was exactly what Truck-kun Isekai Fans had promised. My life flashed before my eyes. An ethereal glow from Truck-kun’s handsome tires embraced me.

I hoped there would be catgirls and inexplicably grateful maidens.

* * *

There were no catgirls. There was ice cold water. My naked bottom hit rock and I slid down a pitch black tunnel.

Many Isekai adventurers described challenging experiences at first. This would make the arduous victories and grateful maidens all the more sweet. I put my hands behind my head and wondered if the princess would be blonde. They were usually blonde, right?

The tunnel ended.

I hung suspended in the air before falling. The sudden drop forced me to emit a heroic squeak. Gritty water filled my mouth as I landed in a pool churned by the stream that had just ejected me into a cave.

I climbed a submerged rock, wiping water from my eyes. I was naked, but it wasn’t my body. I had big muscles. I was taller. I surveyed my new body, hoping the cold water was just making other things look smaller.

“Hero!” said a mage with a magical staff. That wasn’t Japanese, but I understood it. Truck-kun Isekai Fans said people often instantly learned languages. That was part of my Isekai too!

A carved crystal floated above the mage’s staff. Magic! Real Magic! I wanted to learn fire magic first. No wait, wind?

Behind the mage was a gorgeous blonde wearing a tiara.

Jackpot! Blonde princess!

“Hero!” the mage intoned, “thou hast been summoned for a mighty work!”

“Yes, I have,” I giggled. Man, I’m cool.

The ancient cavern held submerged temple ruins in which I stood completely naked. Were any of the ladies interested?

Another distant voice echoed in the cavern.

The mage looked above me. I turned to see the waterfall that had shot me out from the cavern wall. Thankfully, the deep water had protected me from injury. On further consideration, I was standing atop a broken pillar covered by water in a submerged ancient courtyard.

“Another hero?” asked the mage, confused.

Oh no, did the stuffed animal not make it out safely despite my heroism?

The screams grew louder. The other hero, to my chagrin, had a male voice. He flew from the waterfall and hung in the air before gravity claimed him.

To be precise, he fell right on my head. Perhaps I should be grateful he struck me with a very padded part of his anatomy. But I'm not grateful. The blinde princess watched as I caught this guy’s tush full on in the face.

Isekai aren’t supposed to be like this! I plunged back into the water wearing this guy like a hat. I wanted to talk to this Isekai’s manager.

We sputtered to the surface and climbed atop the submerged pillar.

He was as tall as me, and probably better looking. Darn it. His hair was white, but not like an old person’s hair. It shimmered, half-transleucent, like ten thousand fashionable, thin strands of fishing line with subtle reflecting rainbows shooting through.

Double darn it. How could I get hair like that?

“What are YOU doing here?!” I yelled in my strange new language at the interloper with buns of steel, rubbing my face at the damage from said buns of steel.

“What am I doing here?!” he answered. Wait, did that count as an answer?

He spoke in Japanese, so I yelled in Japanese. “This is supposed to be MY Isekai!”

“This is supposed to be YOUR Isekai!” the man yelled back.

The confused mage watched us yell.

“Did you jump in front of my truck? Don’t steal people’s heroism trucks!”

He rubbed his face, frustrated. “No, you jumped in front of me!”

“What? You were the truck driver? Did the accident injure you too?”

He wasn’t listening. “I’ve been reincarnated as a human of all things!”

He hadn’t been a human in the last world, but he had been at my accident. I whispered the next question. “Truck-kun?”

The man glared. “Don’t call me that. I hate it when you people call me that.”

My eyes lit up, finally united with my long-time hero. “Truck-kun!” I hugged him, belatedly realizing we were both naked.

“I am not Truck-kun. I’m a powerful being. Or,” he looked at his hands in dismay, “or I was. I need to get out of here.”

“Why leave?” I asked, noting the blonde princess. “Look, catgirls!”

“This is terrible.” His head fell back in dismay.

“Oh, come on Truck-kun, we’ll be a heroic duo!”

“Stupid mortal, do not think of me as ‘Truck-kun’,” said my new best friend named Truck-kun.

Great friendships between mighty warriors often started with contention and this felt like the beginning of a great friendship. Me and Truck-kun!

Truck-kun glared, seemingly aware I was thinking of him as ‘Truck-kun’.

I addressed the ancient chamber in the new language I had just mastered. “We stand ready to discharge our duty!”

A cheer erupted from the crowd.

“This can’t be happening,” Truck-kun said.

“This can’t be happening!” I said, waving at the catgirls.

“Warriors,” the mage said, adjusting to the plurality of naked heroes, “at unspeakable cost, the remaining free world has summoned you to fight a terrible evil laying waste to all before it!”

“Oh boy, oh boy,” I said.

“By the prophecy, the only power that may save us is…”

I pointed to myself. “Me, right, me?” Then in humility I waved a hand to include my new best buddy, Truck-kun, who was pulling his hair out in frustration. “I mean us.”

The mage nodded. “To the north waits a great evil, a...”

“Demon Lord?” I guessed.

The mage shook his head.

“Undead Lich and his army?”

The mage shook his head as Truck-kun sat on the ground, rocking forward and backward in evident excitement.

“Entrancing demon queen with a dark backstory and impressive measurements who secretly just wants to be loved?” I may have had to hide my excitement while naked as I said this last one.

The mage shook his head and said, “Dragon.”

“Oh,” I nodded knowingly. “Of course.”

I turned to Truck-kun. “We shall bravely conquer the direst foes and save the most inexplicably grateful of young maidens. This is going to be great, don’t you think Truck-kun!?”

I waved at the catgirls, and they waved back!

Truck-kun said, mournfully, “my boss is going to kill me.”