I’m Not Broken, The System Is

What the hell? Why did I get a system error? Everyone else had a beautiful, glowing message.

I turned to look at Elder Rudolf. He stared back at me, then shifted his gaze to the orb, then back to me.

“I’m terribly sorry, I have no idea why the orb isn’t working. Perhaps it’s out of mana. Allow me to recharge it quickly. Please remove your hand for a second.”

I complied, and he reached out, softly resting his hand on it. The moment he touched its surface, it glowed a pale blue, just as it had for everyone else. The same standard white text was clearly legible on the sphere.

“How strange, it appears that it wasn’t a simple matter of charge. It may have just needed a moment to stabilise. It should work now, please rest your hand on it once more,” he instructed.

I followed his instructions and waited for something to happen. But like before, there was nothing. The only difference was the absence of the glowing red system error message.

“I just don’t get it. Why is the orb not working?” He turned to one of the other robed old men. “Elder Leopold, do you have any idea why this may not be working?”

“I confess I am uncertain as to why such an issue has arisen. I have never known the analysis device to fail in this manner, save for when it is deprived of mana. Yet that appears not to be the case.”

Elder Rudolf turned to face me.

“As the magical device appears to be faulty, would you be so kind as to reveal to us what your unique skill is?”

“How do I do that?”

Elder Rudolf furrowed his brow.

“Apologies, but what do you mean by that? You should be able to identify it with ease by just staring at the screen.”

Everyone said these things as if they were common. What the hell is with this supposed screen? If it were that simple, I wouldn’t have asked in the first place.

“Sorry, everyone keeps talking about a screen, what are you all on about?”

There was silence. The elders had blank expressions, as did the class. I didn’t think what I asked was a particularly strange question. If there was some hidden switch, it made sense to ask.

Elder Rudolf tried to answer but stumbled over his own words, eventually pulling himself together.

“I’m terribly sorry, but would you clarify what you mean? There should be a blue screen with your stats and skills listed right in front of you.”

“No, there’s nothing.”

“Are you saying there is no screen?”

“That’s correct.”

Elder Rudolf looked over to Elder Leopold and the others.

“Please allow us to converse for a moment.”

He wandered off.

“Quite frankly, we believe it is impossible for you not to have a screen. But let’s humour that idea for a moment. You should still possess unique skills and stats. It would be simply impossible to survive in the world without them. So, it must just be hidden or temporarily sealed for some reason.” He rested his hand on my shoulder. “Do not worry, there are other means to identify your skills.”

He turned to face Kenji.

“Dragon bloodline has a much more potent detection ability than our magic device. Would you be so kind as to use your detection to assist in identifying your friend’s stats and skills?”

“No worries.” He turned to face me, and his eyes began to glow yellow. Only a moment later, he let out a scream as he clutched his face, averting his eyes from me.

“What’s wrong?” Elder Rudolf asked, startled by Kenji’s sudden outburst.

“It says that no targets are selected.”

“No targets? But that’s…” Elder Rudolf trailed off, his face turning a ghostly pale.

A few of the other elders approached him. In hushed whispers, I could barely make out that they were considering what to do about me.

After some time, they retreated to the corners of the room, and Elder Rudolf once again turned to face me. He ran his hand through his beard a few times before finally speaking. “We are at a loss. A skill-less individual, such a thing should not exist in this world, yet here you are.”

“Does it really matter?”

“Yes, though to what extent, I honestly have no idea. Such a thing, I am unaware of ever having occurred before. All I know is that it will be extremely tough to survive in this world.”

Why was I the only one without any skills? That seemed unfair.

My mother's words flashed into my mind.

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

I tried to put on a brave face, but I couldn’t help the feelings of self-loathing. If only I had some sort of skill. Honestly, I would’ve been happy with anything.

But nope, nothing.

It appears that by fate, I have been left high and dry once more.

“Well, this was certainly an interesting skill examination.” Elder Rudolf turned around, and as he did so, the other elders all filed out of the room. “Now, if you would all follow me, I will take you to the chambers we have prepared. Supper will be brought to your rooms.”

He proceeded to exit the door, and with no other choice, we followed. The corridor was constructed similarly to the room, with dark stones forming the majority of the design, accented by slim hardwood framing.

We walked up a series of spiral steps, and upon reaching the top, we found another wooden door. Elder Rudolf held the door open, and we stepped through to a more extravagant corridor.

White marble adorned the high ceiling, with chandeliers providing a soft glow. Both sides of the corridor had several doors. The overall décor was more in keeping with the grandeur of the building.

“Please make yourselves comfortable in any of these rooms. They are here for you, brave heroes.”

And so, following his advice, we each found a room. The moment I shut the door to the room, I collapsed on the bed.

What the fuck! No skills? That’s bullshit.

“Pwii!”

I jumped, startled as the pink fluff ball squeezed its way out of my blazer. I had completely forgotten the creature had made itself at home in it. I was glad I didn’t crush it when I fell onto the bed.

The creature flapped its wings a few times before gliding onto the bed next to me.

“Pwii.”

“Hello there.”

“Pwii,” it chirped back.

The creature seemed intelligent enough to understand me. I reached out and patted the small creature. It began to rock and nestle in the palm of my hand, implying it enjoyed the attention.

“Have you got a name, little one?”

The creature looked up at me with teary eyes.

“Pwii,” it replied sulkily.

“Well then, how about I give you a name?”

“Pwii,” the small pink fluff ball squeaked happily before snuggling up to me.

“How about I call you Garmordor?”

It let out another squeak, a look of horror on the small fluff ball's face. It shook its body as if it were saying, ‘No, I hate that name!’

I don’t know why, Garmordor sounded like a cool fantasy name. Maybe it meant something rude in this world.

If it didn’t like a cool name, then perhaps a more descriptive name would be better.

“What about Fluffy Boy?”

It squeaked again and puffed out its cheeks. It seemed to hate this name as well.

“Wait. Are you a girl?”

“Pwii,” it cried, smiling.

“I see, so you are a girl. Aren’t you just the cutest one at that?”

She seemed to like this flattery and brushed up against my face. Her pink fluff was surprisingly silky and soft.

“How about I call you Pippa?”

It stopped for a moment and seemed to be thinking. It looked back at me and let out a cheerful “Pwii.”

Without warning, the door swung open. Elder Rudolf burst into the room, his face appearing gaunt and almost expressionless. It was as if he were a different person, as if he were possessed.

“You cannot be allowed to exist in this world. The system doesn’t make mistakes. Errors cannot be allowed to exist.”

His voice was hollow. The crimson glow from his staff deepened, casting shadows across his sunken face.

“Die!”

Before I could react, Pippa darted through the air, wings flaring wide as she placed herself between Rudolf and me. Her tiny body began to glow a bright white, which filled the room. Elder Rudolf’s screams were abruptly cut off. Blood rushed to my head. I couldn’t tell which way was up as I passed out for the second time today.

▪──── X ────▪

End of chapter 2