Chapter 14

Oh boy, a real catgirl. Getting hit by that truck was exactly what I needed.

“I am the Goddess of Heroic Souls. Your heroic death has earned you a special ability and the privilege to remember your past life.”

A kind catgirl goddess granting Isekai wishes. That daruma needed its other eye painted in because I was now the happiest man alive.

“What is your wish, hero?” Nyarin asked.

“Well, Nyarin…” I started to answer and then paused. Had the goddess introduced herself as Nyarin? How did I know that name?

The goddess’ smile faltered.

Was Nyarin a folktale I distantly remembered and this goddess a manifestation of the same spirit or minor god?

Nyarin opened a decorative silk fan over her pristine smile and turned to whisper. “I can’t focus with you talking in my ear. I know how to handle this. I’m a professional.”

No, a name like Nyarin had a modern kind of ‘n’ ending common to nicknames. Perhaps Nyarin wasn’t her real name? But where had I heard that name before?

“I’ve got this under control. Yes, I wiped his memory. No, this isn’t like the time I gave the customer a shield instead of one of the normal four holy weapons. And besides, that guy seemed to like being the shield hero. I don’t know, he’s got a persecution fetish or something. Now let me do my job.”

Nyarin awkwardly looked up from behind the delicately designed fan. I pretended not to notice her whispered monologue. Was it better to have a crazy goddess granting your resurrection, or a sane one?

“A world needs a hero to defeat a demon lord. You will be resurrected in a beautiful hamlet under guiding stars, hero. Choose well your special abilities.”

“Uh, how do I choose my abilities?”

With a wave of her fan Nyarin cast up a plume of sparkling dust. As it settled, I saw she had summoned... vending machines?

She held forward a handful of coins. “Choose well.”

I paused, smiling awkwardly before taking the coins and shuffling to the machines. I ignored the insane catgirl goddess mumbling to herself.

“Well it’s not my fault we had budget cuts. It used to be a cool crystal interface that let him pick his abilities, but that broke after some old guy that worked in car sales had to be reprogrammed with memories of being the world’s greatest assassin.”

Lets see, drink a soda to get special abilities? Did I want to jump super high? That sounded fun, but I’ve always hated grape. I like apple flavor, but the “Synergist” job skills sounded like unnecessary drama before the story progressed.

I wandered in front of the machines. I could practically feel Nyarin’s eyes bearing down on my back. I did my best to ignore her mumbling to herself.

“No, if we start over now we’ll lose this entire cycle. I know what I’m doing. This dress is fine, thank you. If he picks a skill that bores him then we’re doomed. If I showed any more skin it would distract him from his choices.”

I read somewhere that other countries don’t have the variety and availability of Japan’s vending machines. One could practically walk all of Japan from one end to the other drinking from vending machines and never be without a can.

And not just cold drinks. You can buy warm drinks, ice cream, food, toys, practically anything.

In this Isekai preparation zone, there were soda vending machines for special abilities, foods for special attributes in my next life, and gacha machines that dispensed plastic balls with toys or items inside, each providing a unique item with special abilities.

I looked up at the goddess and her strained smile. I shared the awkward smile and kept browsing.

There were gacha’s with pets, companions, and tools inside the little plastic balls. There was even one with buildings. Were the buildings safe bases to which one could teleport or magical structures to carry around in the next world.

Besides, I already had a building in my inventory.

Wait.

Wait, what was that?

A building in my inventory?

I broke out in a cold sweat. Memories flooded back and I tried to stay calm. I could still hear Nyarin whispering to herself. No, she was probably whispering to Truck-kun who was micromanaging her like any manager might. Had they noticed my memory had returned?

“I’m not going to do that. No. No.” Nyarin said, increasingly unable to hide her frustration. “Because I’m not that kind of catgirl. Besides, he just needs time to pick his gifts. I promise, no matter what he picks I’ll be able to make him excited about his future in the next world.”

Truck-kun and Nyarin needed me to get invested in this Isekai. Their jobs and quarterly reviews were riding on it.

They said there was a way out of the Isekai. I just needed to want to return to my old life. I must have regained my memories because part of me wanted to go back home.

I was surprised by the intense chest pain I felt thinking about returning to a lonely apartment and a job at a corporation that had shown me how little the last five years meant to them.

I didn’t want to go back, even if a part of me wanted to return enough to break the memory wipe spell.

I gripped the coins in my hand, and a plan formed in my mind. It was a stupid plan, but I smiled at it. “Oh, goddess, I think I’ve made my selection.”

Nyarin beamed and lifted her fan again to whisper to Truck-kun. “I told you so. No, I don’t think he can hear me.”

She floated over to where I stood.

“You want a pet companion? They cost one coin, so you can get many other boons to aid your battle against the demon lord.”

“Oh, no goddess, that’s not it.” I put a coin into a gacha machine labeled ‘poochi pets’. The machine advertised a dozen different dogs with special abilities or elemental affinities. A ball bounced out containing a fire-themed dog, red with flames gouting from tail and ears.

“Oh, a fire poochi to guide you, a light in the darkness…” Nyarin intoned.

I opened the ball with a snap and threw the plastic fire dog toy over my shoulder.

“Eh?” Nyarin asked, dropping the fan so I could see her surprise.

“I like this.” I said, holding up the empty plastic ball.

“You’re going to take on the demon lord with a snap open, disposable gacha ball?”

“Yep, I like a challenge.”

The fan went back up. “You’re sure the brain-wiping spell doesn’t cause brain damage? Not even a little? Okay, okay, I’ll ask him.”

She brought the fan down and smiled, but one of her eyes twitched uncontrollably. “What other boons will you prepare, oh hero?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll take on the demon lord with this plastic ball.”

“Surely you jest, brave hero. The plastic ball affords no special powers. The prize inside grants an advantage against the forces of darkness.”

“I’m sure.”

“No, you can’t be. Pick something else.”

“Good point.” I said, and bought a can of See See Reikan, a lemon soda that gave the drinker the ability to see any anything from anywhere.

“An excellent selection. Knowledge and foresight against the demon lord will surely…” Nyarin started, but her voice trailed off as I opened the can and poured it onto the ground.

When the can was empty I held up the empty soda can and the empty gacha plastic ball.

“I enjoy a challenge. I’ll conquer the demon lord with these two weapons.”

Nyarin’s mouth fell open and she dropped the fan. “You’ve got to be joking.”

I tilted my head in consideration and threw the can over my shoulder. “You’re right. Can’t make this too easy. So I’m Going to Defeat the Demon Lord using only an Empty Gacha Ball.”

Blood drained from Nyarin’s face. “Why did you say that last part like the title to a low-quality manga?”

If the only way out of this spell was truly wanting to go home, the solution was to make this experience so bad that I truly wanted to go home. So, I was going to ruin my own Isekai.