Prologue

“Muah-ha ha ha, I’ve done it,” laughed a man in a silly hat and cape. “I’ve finally gotten a jerry-rigged Congress to pass my unconstitutional new tax policies. Now, not only will people worldwide have to pay a tax to breathe air, but they will also have to fill out a mountain of paperwork to determine how much they owe. Say goodbye to God-given freedoms, Muahahahaha.”

“Not so fast, evil doer,” said a small girl with caramel skin and golden curls. She stood triumphantly, wearing a cowboy hat and accompanied by two other girls. One on her right was of Asian descent and had a pair of dragon wings strapped to her back. The other on her left has long, curly red hair and a fairy wand. “We’re the heroes of justice, and we’re here to stop your plotting.”

“And who, pray tell, are you?” Asked the man, frowning and billowing his cape in the wind.

I shook my head at the ridiculous display, “Why on The Almighty's green earth was this man playing dress up with his daughter and her friends?” I thought, watching them continue.

“Pray for mercy, for you face the triumphant three,” The middle girl said, prompting the group to take dramatic poses on the outdoor couch. “Yukki, The Island Cowgirl,” she said, raising finger guns.

“Yui, the Dragon Queen,” said the one with dragon wings, taking on a martial arts pose.

“And Hope the… the… guys, what was my title again?” Asked the red-haired girl, interrupting the game of pretend.

“Hope we’ve already told you three times,” said Yui, the Dragon Queen.

“You’re Hope the Pixie Princess,” said Yukki the Island Cowgirl. “You carry the magic wand of the pixies and do magic.”

“I thought you were the Pixie Princess Yukki?”

“No, I changed my mind. Now I’m a cowgirl, and you’re the Pixie Princess.”

“This is confusing me,” Hope said, looking down.

“No, it’s not, just go with the flow,” Yui said, edging Hope on.

“Yeah, come on, we have to stop… Dad, who are you again?” Yukki asked, turning to the man in the silly hat and cape.

“I’m the leader of the evilest organization ever conceived by man,” the man said, swinging his cape and flailing his arms. “Whose sole purpose is to suck people dry of money and happiness so that only despair remains. I am The IRS.”

“Yeah, we have to stop the IRS,” Yukki said, turning back to Hope. “Just use your magic to back us up, and we’ll win.”

“How do I do that?” Hope said, confused.

“With your wand of spirits,” Yui said, exasperated. “Ya know what? I’m just gonna go for it.” Yui leaped from the couch and rushed towards the IRS. Once closing the distance, the IRS towered over her, but she struck at him undaunted, punching and kicking his legs while running circles around him.

“Ooh ahh,” The IRS said, playing along with the girls' game. Yukki also leaped from the couch and began circling her father.

“Pew pew pew,” she said, making finger guns.

“Ahh, my cheek,” he said, holding a hand to his face. “You two are indeed formidable, but it’ll take more than that to defeat me.” He grabs Yui in front of him, lifts her up, and gently tosses her back onto the couch next to Hope, all the while making sound effects.

“Come on, Hope, use your magic,” Yui says, shaking Hope’s shoulder. She shakes a little too hard, though, and Hope drops the wand. It clatters to the floor and lands in front of the IRS, which quickly bends down to snatch it.

“Hahaha, what are you going to do now, Pixie Princess?” he taunts, waving the wand as if casting a spell. “Snakes in your boots,” he chants, whipping the wand in his daughter's direction. She fumbles over and rapidly peels off her pretend boots.

“No, not my boots; how will I go outside now?” she cries.

“Hey, give that back,” Yui cries, jumping back towards the IRS. He glares sadistically and waves the wand again.

“Pixie’s shield,” he chants, waving the wand in front of him. Yui is undisturbed, though, and charges upon him.

“Shield Buster Punch!” she calls, breaking through the shield. Not satisfied, though, she follows up with a kick. “Finishing Kick!” She cries, kicking as high as her short legs will let her; unfortunately for the IRS, that height lines up perfectly with his crotch.

“OH!” he lets out a massive sigh and falls to his knees, dropping the wand. Yui eagerly snatches it up and returns to Hope, unconcerned with the damage she’s just inflicted.

“Ohh, that looked like it hurt,” Rufeal says, wincing as he hovers above his charter. “Almost like I felt that.”

“It is not like he will be having any more children,” I say as my charge, Yukki, comes to comfort her father. He puts on a brave face and smiles through the tears while the girls continue playing, and I have a discord with the other angel.

“Oh, come on, have a heart,” Rufeal says, looking at me. “I know you never plan on using that tool, but it’s very precious to human men.”

“I do believe that falls outside the purview of our jurisdiction as guardian angels,” I remind him, giving him a sideways glance.

“Leave it to Khanethael to be a stickler for the rules,” Rufeal says, leaning back in a lounging position. “Say what you will about humans; they’ve grown on me over the eons. Even if this big loaf can be… Taxing to watch over.”

“I have spent time enough around them to know that,” I say, rebuking Rufeal. “And they have-” I begin, but am cut off. The coarse sound of ringing bells fills my ears and draws my eyes to the sky. “To arms,” I cry instinctively, drawing forth my weapons and readying myself for battle. My armor and spear come to me, and I stand in front, ready for battle. When I look back at Rufeal, I see that he is still leisurely sprawled out.

“What are you doing?” I barked, gritting my teeth. “Get ready for battle; do you not see the foe before us?”

“There is no need,” Rufeal says, remaining relaxed.

“What do you mean, just look-” I begin, but I feel a disturbance in the wind. I look back and see the feathered figure fall from the sky. His long, blood-red feathers each ended in a jingling suzu bell. Black, beady eyes hung just above his mouth, filled with disorganized, jagged teeth. The legs had backward knees, and as he crouched, he exploded off the ground and towards us. Then I noticed that the demon's focus was not directed towards us, but instead, he focused behind him. A moment later, I saw her, an adolescent girl, leaping in pursuit of the demon. Her face was covered with glasses made from donuts and a mask made from candy wrappers. Mints were stuck in her hair, and peanut butter cups covered her torso in a breastplate. Her whole body was covered in candy armor such as this, and in her hand, she wielded a massive swirl lollipop bitten in the style of a battle ax, nearly double her size. I watched in bewilderment as this girl, who was not yet of marrying age on these islands, swung the massive ax around her as if it were a marching baton. At first, I thought the weapon was light, but with a single blow, she sent the abomination flying backward, proving my initial thought wrong. With elegance I had rarely seen among those angels I trained for war, she maneuvered around the demon, trapping his legs on giant sticky mints. No sooner had he been trapped than she called forth a prayer to descend the demon. The slick, crane-like beast then amputated his own limbs to free himself and flew off, narrowly dodging the light from above with only a few singed feathers. The girl instantly continued the chase, leaving me clutching my spear, confused.

“What on The Almighty's green earth was that!” I demand, look at Rufeal, who sat so leisurely.

“That is what she is to become, what you are to guide her to,” he said, looking to the three girls who had already begun to play again, none the wiser of the battle that’d happened mere meters away from them. I looked at my charge, this little girl with golden locks and caramel skin. This child I had watched over every day since before her birth. This daughter, whose every sin and virtue I could name by memory, and had one thought ring true through my mind. “God Forbid… This pathetic girl, of all people, is to be used for any divine plans.”