Edgelord White-Haired Dude

Well, it's not like it even matters anyway…

I muttered to myself, hiding like a meerkat dodging exterminators.

No—meerkat was way too cute. Rat’s more accurate. Definitely more like me.

Anyway, since just I got isekai’d, that would imply... 

(dramatic pause) 

I was thrown into another world.

Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious. "People die if they are killed," right? 

Seriously, no need for that kind of deep philosophy right now. Surviving was my priority now.

Suddenly—just because the universe loves drama and some kind of freaky coincidence—a white-haired, muscle-bound guy in red clothes started walking toward me like some budget anime final boss.

And then… he walked right past me.

He didn’t even flinch. Just kept going.

And soon after, he said the cringiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life:

“Are you the ally of justice or the enemy of humanity? Make up your mind. Now.”

So... cringe.

Seriously, not gonna lie. I didn’t realize just how nauseating those stereotypical hero lines could sound until they were directed at me in real life. (Or real isekai life.)

Still crouched like the pathetic little rat I was, I replied with something I thought might match his cringe energy:

“I… believe I can save people. That’s my dream. To be a hero. So I’m going to be an ally.”

Yep. That should frame me as his buddy.

Or so I thought.

“So you’re just like him,” he scoffed. “Another naive fool clinging to childish ideals. Do you actually believe you're a hero? Pathetic.”

Wait—what? That wasn’t even in the script!

I just followed it and trying to survive, man! Did I just say something wrong?

Then again, I’d forgotten—this guy hates people who remind him a lot of himself.

Yeah, I know that kind of type. The brooding edgelord who talks in seemingly deep quotes and sees trust as a weakness. Basically, a walking motivational poster that punches things.

And now, thanks to that exact single sentence, I was on his hit list.

SYUUT!

An arrow flew past my head, missing me by a literal inch.

That was way too close.

“Change your mindset if you want to be my ally,” he said, voice sharp as steel. 

“Otherwise, you’re just another fool playing hero.”

Okay. Yeah. I was officially in trouble.

I had no choice.

I had to lie my way out of this.

“Do you want someone more valuable than me?” 

I asked, pulling a last-ditch bluff from my internal bag of BS.

He raised an eyebrow. “Hoh?”

Without skipping a beat, I pointed toward the long-chinned boss guy—who was apparently still looking for me.

“That guy,” I said. “He’s the real enemy of humanity. If you kill him, you’ll complete the cycle and return to your world.”

The white-haired dude narrowed his eyes. Suspicion all over his face.

“What proof do you have that you're not lying?”

I reached down, picked the arrow from the ground, and said:

“I’ll throw this arrow at him. If he dodges it, he’s a monster. No normal human could react to an arrow that fast.”

Total bluff. But I had to sell it.

And to be fair, I used to hit the gym. Did all the classics—push-ups, sit-ups, back-ups… whatever those are. Still lifted while gooning to waifu figures, too.

So yeah. I had muscle. Sort of. I was a gym bro after all.

“Very well,” he said. “If he dodges, he’s a threat. But don’t think I’ll fall for some cheap trap. I still don’t trust you after that 'hero' nonsense.”

I nodded quickly. “Fair enough.”

At this point, any way out was a good one.

Wait... what's this?

A bamboo stick? Just randomly sitting here?

Thank you so much, universe.

With a bit of carving, I could make it seem like I had some kind of superpower.

I got to work—using the arrowhead to scrape a curved groove into the inner surface of the bamboo. Not actual magic, just a bit of physics and showmanship.

The illusion of power.

“What are you doing?” he asked, watching me carefully.

“Developing my superpower,” I said, stone-faced.

What a bold-faced lie.

But hey—it at least looked so cool! I was basically making a handheld rail for a whistle-tipped arrow. A sound-enhanced projectile, more theater than threat.

“I didn’t know superpowers could be developed like that. How impressive.”

Wait—you’re praising me?

Man, this dude was too easy to fool.

Meanwhile, the carving didn’t take long—just a few minutes. Stuff like this? I’d done it before. Used to help my neighbors with similar tricks while pretending I was still a broke college student. Part of my whole “I’m just a NEET, please ignore me” strategy.

Anyway, when I finished the curvature for the bamboo stick, I slotted the arrow into the stick like it was some kind of anime sniper rifle.

Time for the performance of a lifetime.

“You ready?” he asked.

I grinned—like, actually grinned—for the first time in months.

“Just watch.”

I gripped the bamboo, pulled back, and hurled the arrow with everything I had.

WHOOSH.

The arrow whistled through the air, thanks to the notched tips, slicing forward like a guided missile—and nearly grazed Long-Chin Boss Man’s cheek.

He dodged, eyes widening in shock.

That was all I needed.

“You were right…” the white-haired guy muttered, stunned by the speed.

Clearly, just like that, the illusion landed—and worked.

That’s how easy it is to trick someone relying too much on “gut instinct.”

“But does that really mean you’re telling the truth?”

Ah, crap. Here come the edgy monologues again.

“You’ve got no time left,” I shot back. 

“I’ve done my part." 

"Now for the rest... do yours.”

And with a casual salute—index and middle finger raised like I was some kind of back-alley strategist—I turned around and walked away nonchalantly.

Calm. Cool. Collected. 

As if I wasn’t literally trembling inside.

Behind me, of course I heard the clash of swords—the sounds of two insanely strong guys going at it while I slipped away like some kind of background NPC.

Phew. That was really close.