Reevaluating Relationships

It’s no less surreal walking away from the throne than walking towards it. The glowing water around me has turned milky and seems endlessly deep, so I keep in the middle of the walkway.

Though… Feng Yu? I suppress the urge to look back and ask again. Why Feng Yu? I mean, there’s no accounting for taste, but she has to keep the royal household’s interests in mind, surely? Does she not care because I’m not officially part of the royal family if I marry as Murong Zhiyu? But his family would have to know my identity… wouldn’t they? Ah, my head hurts…

I walk out of the large hall, where a maid is waiting for me. She shows me the way to a chamber in which I find my earlier companions sitting in awkward silence. Feng Yu and Liu Renqing sit to one side, nursing a cup of tea each to avoid conversation, Zhu Chun to the other, doing the same. At the centre, though, frowning mightily as I enter the room, is the crown princess herself: Zhu Dong. She looks unlike the rest of the family, with her dark blue hair, pinned up with silver decorations and white flowers. She wears a simple, yet effortlessly elegant robe in white and silver, which puts every other outfit I’ve seen that far too shame—even Gui’s. She looks like a goddess made of ice, even if only half dressed in her regular attire, as it’s the middle of the night. She is definitely the crown princess. As I walk up to greet her, she raises her hand and I stop automatically.

“Don’t bother. I’m just here to see if you really are that stupid, and since you actually walked into the room in person to confirm it, I will take my leave.”

I glance at Zhu Chun, but she looks resolutely to the floor as she stands up to bow when our oldest sister prepares to depart. The two maids at Zhu Dong’s side accompany her silently as she walks towards me. I try my hardest not to sink into the floor in close presence, since she is somehow more intimidating than even the queen.

“Honestly, what were you thinking…” Zhu Dong says and continues in a smaller voice only I can hear. “Try not to make any more mistakes. Mother may be merciful, but when I’m queen, I’ll give the guardian token to our younger brother if you continue to be this stupid.”

She departs with a flourish, robes billowing, leaving me to confront the room after that particularly humiliating display. Zhu Chun looks at me.

“Don’t mind her. You know how she is,” she says with a shrug.

“I suppose…” I reply, glancing at the two men, who are sipping their tea, pretending they aren’t in the room at all.

“It’s late, but you can’t stay in the palace, unfortunately. I’ll have to send you back now. Sorry for that.”

I shake my head. I’m happy to leave this place, but I don’t say it out loud. Feng Yu and Liu Renqing have already gotten up and look ready to bail. I feel much the same. Zhu Chun escorts us to a smaller gate and we leave the palace grounds in secret, though not before she promises to visit Huoyun Sect soon. As the third princess, she has a lot of leeway and walks around more freely than the rest of the family. Well, the rest except for the youngest child, the unwanted brother. If I could only remember his name…

“We should… what are you doing over there?” I ask the other two, who were walking behind me, but have stopped at a cliff, looking over the city. The sky is turning brighter at the horizon, the day promising to break soon. Looks like a night of no sleep after all.

I take a few steps towards the two men, but stop myself when I see Liu Renqing take Feng Yu’s hand. Oh. Oh!

“What are you doing?” Feng Yu says and draws his hand back, crushing my fledgling hopes within seconds. He hisses in pain as he moves, making Liu Renqing grab his forearm again, chiding him. And my hopes go up again. And Feng Yu complains again. They go down once more. I can’t take this.

“Hold still.”

Power blooms in Liu Renqing’s palm, glowing brightly blue, almost turquoise. The air shimmers like it’s heated as he places his hand on Feng Yu’s wrist and the other makes another pained noise.

“How did you—”

“You usually hold your tea cup with your left hand, but today you held it with your right.”

Feng Yu’s eyes widen in surprise. I want to see what happens, but I also don’t want to break this moment and take a few steps back.

“We haven’t had tea together in… years,” Feng Yu says.

“And whose fault is that?”

I can see Feng Yu build himself up for an argument, but he deflates just as quickly, biting his lip. He glances back at me, which looks both like a cry for help and a silent accusation. Excuse me? My fault? How dare you??

I point at him before I can stop myself and mouth ‘Your own fault!’

‘Mine?’ he mouths back and earns a smack to the head from Liu Renqing for it.

“I’m leaving,” he announces and actually jumps off the cliff, onto the roof of the building below.

I watch him navigate several rooftops until he disappears into the shadows of the fading night and the only thing I can hear is the cautious bird song of the early morning hours. Great. So much for talking about what just happened. Feng Yu looks back at me, rubbing his wrist.

“Does it hurt?” I ask.

Feng Yu shakes his head. “Not anymore. But that’s not the issue. What did you say to him?”

“Me?”

“He’s been ignoring me for two years, only throwing insults and weapons my way, but tonight he stared at me for the whole time we were captured together, not even with one of his glares. And now this?” he blurts out, holding up his hand.

“Why do you think I had anything to do with it?”

“He’s started ignoring me because of you, so any change must also be related to you.”

I bite my lip. It can’t be. But if it is, maybe I can use the same bomb on Feng Yu. It seemed to have a profound effect on Liu Renqing. I clear my throat and hype myself up, pointing an accusing finger accusingly.

“He’s ignoring you because you hurt him by stopping to be his friend!”

Feng Yu physically recoils. I wish I had night vision in my human form because I really want to see his expression clearly, but the slowly brightening sky behind him casts his face into shadows.

“That’s… that…” Feng Yu mumbles and looks to the ground. “He… No.”

“He clearly values your friendship.”

“He never said….”

“Did you ever hear Liu-shixiong express his feelings clearly to anyone?”

Feng Yu turns away from me, looking over the city. Even if I can’t see his face, his silence is giving me hope because I know he is taking my words to heart. That’s good. Yes. I can work with that. Friends to enemies to friends to lovers. A bit convoluted, but if it gets me where I need to be, who cares?

If I could get them into a situation with only one bed…

“Murong-xiaojie,” Feng Yu interrupts my thoughts. “You should go to bed. Don’t worry, I won’t breathe a word about what happened tonight to anyone. My mother won’t even ask me where I was anymore.”

He sounds sombre. With a bow, he jumps the same way Liu Renqing had gone, disappearing in the city. I stare at his red hair until it vanishes and take a deep sigh. The air is cold out here at night, at the edge of the desert, and it’s always coldest before dawn. It will take me a while to reach the Huoyun compound, so I start walking, the events of the night turning in my head.