Thick as thieves

At the very least, I had an excuse to hang up my phone. My arm was getting tired anyway.

The downside was the fact that I was going to die again. I think? There’s a chance I would come back, but I’m not a gambling man. If I was, I would have picked a premium plan with gacha mechanics. 

More of the weird creatures stalked out of the woods. Each one was like a misshapen human, about half my height with skewed proportions and partially covered with leather armor. Their pointy ears twitched as got closer and closer. The steel of their daggers and spears reflected what little sunlight there was left in the sky. The growls grew louder.

Whatever was going on, I was in trouble. But if playing baseball has taught me anything, it’s how to keep a cool head under pressure and analyze the situation. There were at least five of these creatures, all of whom were meaning to pick a fight. There’s a chance that they don’t even understand a word I’m saying, so negotiating or persuasion is out of the question.

Maybe figuring out what these things are would give me the advantage. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to recall any knowledge I could about magic and wizards and that stuff. What do I remember about this world? What have I seen before? Have I heard of woodland creatures with pointy ears?

As they stepped closer towards me, it clicked.

There were the hot elves. 

They looked a bit different from the ones in the ads, but everything looks better in the commercials. And to be honest, I didn’t think they were that hot. I don’t mean to kinkshame, but I’m just not into this sort of thing.

However, these hot elves did not need my help. Maybe some other player already helped them, or maybe I somehow offended them and they now hate me. Whatever the case may be, there’s no other way around this.

I put one foot forward, lowered my stance, and put my two fists up. It’s no different than swinging a bat, I told myself. Except the bat is my fists. And the ball is these hot elves. Adrenaline circulated my body, readying all my muscles for combat. I eyed down the elf leading the pack and I pulled my fist back.

Somebody landed in front of me.

“Thank goodness I made it in time!” she said. “If you started the combat encounter without me, I couldn’t have stepped in!”

She whirled around and, truth be told, nearly knocked me out. I’ll spare the details, but if it weren’t for my athletic reflexes honed on the field, they would have hit me square in the face and given me a bloody nose. 

(But just looking at them could have given me a bloody nose.)

This girl had a short bob of shining blonde hair, almost white, which framed her emerald eyes and impish smile. Her outfit could have passed for a normal one on Earth; denim shorts, (very) form-fitting black tank-top with matching fingerless gloves, and a navy blue cloak.

She stepped aside, turning back to the elves and pulling out a dagger attached to her hip.“You were looking pretty confused. New here, I take it?” I nodded. “Newbies usually arrive at Tyro Town, but no matter. Grab a stick and I’ll show you the ropes!” 

I scoured the ground and found a fallen branch with a similar weight and length as a baseball bat. I hefted it up. The girl assumed a similar stance to the one I was rocking previously.

“This is what’s known as a combat encounter. What you want to do is—JESUS CHRIST!”

I had interrupted her by dashing forward and smashing the makeshift into a hot elf’s skull. Like I said, athletic reflexes. I knew it was a bit rude, but I didn’t know why she sounded so startled. The elves too looked shaken up. It wasn’t the fact one of their comrades got hit. It was more like something happened that they didn’t know was allowed or possible.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked. Looking back, I saw her aghast expression, with eyes wide and her jaw hanging open. I shrugged.

“I’m attacking?” I said. “You said this was a combat encounter.”

“There’s a turn order!” She had sheathed her dagger and was cradling her head. “You can’t… You can’t just attack willy-nilly! The goblins had priority so they would attack first, and then I would go since I have more experience, and then finally it would go to you. That way you can learn the basics of combat…” She looked like she was having an existential crisis as bad as I was having earlier that day.

“How the hell am I supposed to know that? I just got here. Why are there such strict rules, it’s a fight!” I scratched the back of my head. “Also, goblins? Is that what they’re called?”

Her eyes snapped on mine. “Yes. Those were goblins. What else would they be?” The existential dread was fading, but the exasperation was still there. 

“I thought they were elves,” I said.

Her brows furrowed together as anger and disgust poured down her face. Her hands were shaking.

“…Elves? Elves?” She clutched at her hair. “Why would think they’re elves?! Elves are supposed to be hot!” 

“Hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder! And they’re green things from the woods with pointy ears, isn’t that what elves are? I’m still new to this! To all of this!” I spread my arms out like an eagle and twirled around. This screaming match was taking a toll on both of us. I stopped twirling when I realized that the elves (sorry, the goblins) were gone.

“I didn’t even know goblins could flee a combat encounter,” the girl said. She cracked her neck, groaning at the mild relief. “I’m sure that was a great learning experience for you. Come on, let’s get you some place to rest.”

The sun was long gone, the moon now in its place. By some miracle, the path I had been walking on was one of the path straight to Tyro Town. And I was heading the same direction too. In the moonlight the path was illuminated white by some magic. Strong enough to be visible but gentle enough on dark-adjusted eyes.

A minute passed walking together in silence.

“You really are new to this, huh?” she asked.

I let out a sigh and tried not to feel embarrassed. And failed. Thankfully my flushed cheeks were hidden under cover of night. 

“That obvious?”

She nodded. “You’re the first person I’ve met to not know what goblins are. Everyone else, whether NPC or Player, knew instinctively.”

“Are you dropping more words I don’t know on purpose?”

I saw her shocked face from the corner of my eye. My flush deepened.

“You’re really new to this.” She cleared her throat. “NPC stands for non-player character. It’s any person native to the game world. Players are self-explanatory. They’re the people who are sent here from some other game world.”

“So there are other Players?”

“Yes. They usually spawn in at Tyro Town or Beginner’s Loch. Sometimes in Lumino City, but that’s rare. And spawning in Knockback Woods is even rarer. What’s up with that?”

“The person sending me over was in a rush, Margaret was her name.”

She hummed. “Speaking of names…” she said.

I nearly swore. If my mom caught wind of my lack of manners, she would ground me for life. I stopped, turned to her, and held out my hand. “Daisuke Mizuhara. A pleasure to meet you,” I said with a smile.

She shook my hand. “Ginormous Chest.”

It took every fiber of my being, every trained cell in my body to keep the expression on my face perfectly still and not look down.

“I’m sorry?” I said.

“Ginormous Chest.”

“…You’re serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Is there…” I coughed. “Is there any reason you were… named that?” I asked.

Her face lit up, which startled me.

“It’s tradition among thieves to name their children after wealth, riches, things like that. It’s good luck and helps with the pilfering they say,” she explained. “So my parents, both thieves, named me Ginormous Chest in hopes that I would encounter and plunder many ginormous chests, full of gold and gems and jewels. So that’s the reason why.”

“I see,” I said, staring directly into her eyes and nowhere else. 

“But! Ginormous is a bit of a mouthful to say, so you can call me Gina instead.” She turned back to the path and began walking. I hurried to catch up with this girl—Gina—who saved my skin that day. Both of our steps were more certain and the air between us more comfortable.

“I wish I had a cool backstory for my name, but I think my parents chose it just because they liked the sound of it.”

“No shame in that,” she replied. ”Not everyone is as tradition-bound as thieves are.”

“So you’re a thief too? Is that your job?”

“It’s my class.” She chuckled. “You have no idea what that means, do you?”

I shook my head. “Not even close.”

“It sounds like I have a lot to teach you,” Gina said.

The impish grin that disappeared after things went off-script was back on her face. And I couldn’t help but return it.