Bark Village - The Doctor's

Maizy woke from her slumber to the sound of Mom's sweet voice. "Time to wake up, little kaydee!" Mom gently spoke the words as she reached down and swiftly ripped Maizy from the most comfortable of cuddles with her own two tails.

She placed Maizy down on the floor, where Maizy yawned and stretched, her big eyes slowly fluttering open, wondering what was going on. She had been having an interesting dream about a world where 'shrinkflation' was a thing.

"It's time to go out and see the world for the first time," Mom stated simply. "Before we do that, though, we need to get you dressed."

Oooh! Am I going to get my own poncho? Or maybe a cool cloak! Maizy pondered as thoughts of her dashing about the night in a black cloak, wearing a ninja forehead protector, popped into her mind.

Mom then gently scratched the underside of Maizy's chin, which she enjoyed very much. This caused Maizy to lift her head up to get more scritches. Then, while Maizy was in her chin-scratching daze, Mom whipped out a pink ribbon and slung it around Maizy's neck in a swift, carefully-practiced motion—like she had put in at least 10,000 hours of practice for this very moment. Then—with the swiftest of motions—she tied a perfect, pretty little sailor bow.

She's like some sort of ribbon ninja! Maizy still had that dashing image in her mind.

As every child who's ever had to get dressed up by Mom can attest, the "outfit" was uncomfortable. Maizy thought it was itchy! It was hot! It needed to go. Just as she was trying to reach up with her hand to get it off, Mom touched the ribbon and did—something—that made the ribbon super stiff.

Did Mom just push magic into the ribbon?  Maizy thought as she tried to untie and then scratch the ribbon off with her claws. The ribbon suddenly stiffened, behaving like it was made of steel.

Mom just beamed, "Oh my gosh, you look so cute!" she exclaimed. Then, with a slightly sinister smile, "You'll never be able to get it off, so don't bother trying."

Ah! I've been collared! Maizy was annoyed.

Mom then spent a few minutes grooming her child while Maizy just sat there, enjoying the attention.  That feels surprisingly good, she thought.  Does she have to lick my head so much, though?

"Okay!" Mom said with just a hint of excitement. "Now we're ready to go out. You get to see Bark Village for the first time! So exciting!" She continued, "You can keep your head out, but I want you to stay in my pouch until we get to the doctor, okay?"

Maizy nodded while wondering, Maybe the outside world is dangerous?

"Then we'll go to the library and check out some books. We can spend the rest of the day learning how to read, and I'll start teaching you Kad Sign Language." Mom stated the day's plans as every mom does—like they're a fact of life, and you have absolutely no say in the matter.

Mom then picked up Maizy and stuffed her into her pouch—tails first. Maizy thought this must be so the ribbon would stay nice and clean. This was Maizy's big debut into the outside world, after all.

I thought we already lived in a library? Maizy wondered.

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As Mom approached the door, Maizy noticed that opening it turned out to be far from simple! Mom put up the hood of her poncho, then pulled off the woggle and inserted it into a slot above the doorknob. Maizy thought she could see the woggle give off a faint light as she did so.

Probably put some magic into it, she thought.

Mom then slowly turned the knob and waited an oddly long time—was she counting?—before pushing it open. Bright light flooded the room, temporarily blinding Maizy. As her eyes adjusted, she finally caught her first glimpse of the outside world.

Mom stepped out of the door, then turned around to shut it. When she did, Maizy could see the same slot for the woggle on the outside.  Must be some kind of magic key, Maizy thought.

"The doctor's is above us on the other side of the trunk," Mom said, and she started climbing, being careful to keep her body—and Maizy's head—from touching the tree.

Maizy's view wasn't great—mostly, all she could see was the bark of the tree in front of her—but she looked around as Mom climbed and spotted a kad reaching out to pluck an...  apple? from a branch.

The apple was a glossy, green fruit with a small, bean-shaped pod at the bottom. It reminded Maizy of a cashew apple, a 'false fruit' with the real fruit—the seed—below. This seed, however, looked smaller, perhaps the size of a kidney bean, she thought. She was getting better at estimating sizes, now that she'd shrunk all those books.

That kad then plucked the seed, threw it away, and started munching on the apple. Maizy thought she heard it knocking on a few branches as it fell to the ground.

Apparently the seed isn't very tasty.

Mom then stopped on a wide branch—presumably to take a break—and a super sketchy-looking kad crawled up from below. He looked... ungroomed.  Maizy thought he seemed familiar, somehow.

He has a bald spot on his head. Is that normal or is he just really old or something?

"Miss Bloom, would you like a rainbow fruit?" the sketchy kad asked.

Is Bloom my mom's name? Maizy wondered, as she looked at the unkempt oddball.

Mom gave him a look of disgust, then paused, a sudden realization dawning on her face. "What? No... wait. Sure." She took the fruit, and the sketchy kad crawled down the tree, out of sight.

Mom then pulled something off of the fruit—was it a piece of paper?—and—absent-mindedly—lowered the fruit down in front of Maizy, while she looked at that thing in her other hand.

The fruit was bright. It was shiny. It looked fresh and delicious, the skin practically glowing with vibrant colors. Maizy took a bite—she couldn't resist! It was right there, in front of her face!

Wow! So good! Maizy thought, then she took three quick, successive bites before Mom noticed and pulled it away. A moment later, the spiciness exploded in her mouth, a fiery inferno that banished all other sensations.

"Kiiiiiiiiii!" was all Maizy could get out before she thrust her tongue out and started panting.

Mom looked horrified as she stared down at her hand, holding the half-eaten rainbow fruit, then down at Maizy, who was making hissing and panting sounds.

"Well, that was... special," she said, as she threw the fruit away—it tumbled down the tree a bit before hitting a branch particularly hard and exploding into a shower of rainbow chunks. "I guess you're really going to have a fun day today."

She then put whatever was in her other hand into a poncho pocket and resumed crawling up the tree.

As she climbed, it seemed to be taking Mom an oddly long amount of time to make her way around to the other side of the tree.  Just how big is this tree?  Maizy wondered, as the fire in her mouth began to subside.

From Maizy's vantage point—her head so close it was nearly scraping along the bark—it was difficult to see the width of the trunk. When they finally reached a branch where Mom could sit up, several moments had passed.

"We're here!" Mom stated, and Maizy noticed she didn't appear to be winded—despite climbing mostly upwards at a steady pace the entire time. Like this journey was just a casual stroll through the neighborhood.

Maizy looked around and saw what appeared to be a modern office building—if office buildings were entirely made of wood and hung off the side of a tree. Mom began climbing a ramp that seemed to be molded, not carved, into the tree, and Maizy could see an open doorway leading inside.

As Mom climbed the ramp, Maizy tried to see what lay beyond the tree, but there was only...  more tree. Nothing but tree branches and leaves as far as her eyes could see. Maizy noted that some of the branches were very thick, but they all came from the same enormous, wall-like trunk.  Is there only one tree?  She wondered.

She thought she could see a bunch of similar, squarish buildings above them as they entered the doctor's office.

"Oh, good morning, Bloom," a feminine-sounding voice spoke as they entered the doctor's office.

"Good morning, Pathy," Mom replied as a little kad poked its head out of the other mom's pouch. "How's Path doing?" Mom asked.

"He's a healthy little keedo, according to the doctor. We just finished his first checkup." Then she suddenly noticed Maizy. "OH MY GOSH! Is this Maizy? SHE'S SO CUTE!" Her mouth opened wide as she reached to pat Maizy, overwhelmed by the cuteness. She couldn't help herself.

Maizy bit her. It wasn't a gentle bite either!

Gods! Why did I just do that?  Maizy was appalled at herself.

Then she heard "ki ki ki ki" coming from the "healthy little keedo" in the other mom's pouch.  That must be Path, she thought.

He's laughing at me!  Maizy wasn't quite sure how to respond to this situation, so she reached into her very soul and came up with what is, objectively, the best action possible: She made a pouty face, opened her eyes as wide as she could, and stared at the other mom with the best sad-sorry facial expression she could muster.

The other mom just laughed. "Hah! No matter how many times I get bitten, I still try to pet other people's keedos and kaydees before they're fully out-of-pouch!"

Mom grinned and pointed her finger at the other mom. "Serves you right! Haha, I get bitten all the time too." They laughed together.

Apparently that was completely normal behavior.  Maizy thought, but she still didn't like it.  Instincts can be such a bother!

Maizy gave up trying to look innocent and turned to Path. Like her, he only had his head sticking out of his mom’s pouch. She noticed he also had a bald spot—just like that sketchy kad with the rainbow fruit.  Ah, male kads must have that bald spot.  Then she noticed Pathy had an arrow-shaped fur pattern on her forehead—just like Mom.  And females have that arrow. Except for me. Maybe I’ll get it when I’m older?

Path noticed Maizy looking at him and quickly ducked into the pouch, then stuck one hand out, waving it back and forth as if to say, "hi." He then popped half his head out so that only his eyes were showing, which Maizy thought was cute.  Aw, he’s shy.

Right then and there, Maizy decided she wasn't going to be shy in this life.  I will be bold, proud, and FEARLESS!

She practically leapt out of the pouch onto the floor in front of Path and Pathy.

"BY THE GODS! SHE HAS TWO TAILS!" Pathy shouted, just as the doctor walked up behind the counter.

Path immediately popped his whole head out and, without thinking, crawled out of his mom's pouch to get a closer look at Maizy.

The two began circling, sniffing, and sizing each other up—instinctively, without a single thought. Then, Path suddenly lunged at Maizy’s tails, trying to get a better look. But Maizy wasn’t going to make it that easy. She spun around him quickly, curling her tails up as she moved. The two kept at it, completely absorbed, while the moms—and now the doctor, too—watched.

Pathy stared in disbelief while Maizy's mom just stood there, looking like her child had just done something super unfortunate.  That wasn't how this was supposed to go, she thought.  I guess the whole tree is about to know.

"Yep! She was born with two tails! Probably two gifts, as well." Mom gave a thumbs-up with a pretend, proud grin. It was more like a grimace.

Interrupting the two, the doctor hustled around to face Mom while continuing to watch Path chase Maizy's two tails. Maizy was surprisingly good at moving her tails at just the right moment before Path could catch one. "Let's take you back to an examination room so I can have a look," he said.

"Oh, Doctor Roof, we're just here to make an appointment." Mom stated to the doctor, "We don't need to be seen right away."

"It's fine," he waved his hand, "follow me."

Mom reached down and grabbed Maizy, foiling yet another daring escape from Path's grasp. Because of this, Path temporarily got a hold of one of Maizy's tails. He was gentle—he just wanted to touch them—and for an exciting moment, he felt a short length of it as she slipped away. In that moment, only one thought passed through his mind:

So soft!

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The doctor led Mom and Maizy down a plain, wooden hallway with cork flooring into an examination room. Inside, there was an exam table where Mom plopped Maizy down—she had obviously done this before.

After being summarily abducted and placed on the table, Maizy mostly came to her senses and started looking around. There was a stethoscope hanging on the wall, an adjustable wooden light—similar to the ones she had back home—and a gigantic insect-like creature in the corner!

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT‽ Maizy jumped and pointed at the thing that looked like a gigantic pill bug.

Mom turned to look and gasped. "Doctor! Wait... Is that... your pet isopod... thing?" she asked, then calmed down a bit. "It grew...  a lot."

"Ha ha, yes. I'm surprised you remember. He used to be so small!" the doctor laughed. "His name is Bleck," he said with a weirdly proud grin. "Oh, don't worry, he's harmless! He eats dead leaves." He waved one hand dismissively, then opened a drawer, pulled out a dead leaf, and tossed it in the air above Bleck.

Maizy watched the leaf—it looked like it was falling in slow motion. It seemed to leave a trail of rainbows as it gently swayed back and forth before landing on the floor, where Bleck immediately slurped it up.

Whoa, Maizy thought.  What was that‽ Do all leaves do that when they fall in this world? Because that would be AWESOME! Ha ha ha ha...

"Kiiiiiiiiii," Maizy sounded, swaying her head around. It felt like she could taste the air with her eyeballs.  I feel strange, Maizy thought.  I don't think that rainbow fruit was just fruit.

As she made the sound, both Mom and Doctor Roof turned to look at her, wondering what that was all about.

While Maizy grinned and creepily turned her head to look at the doctor, he said, "Anyway, I'm sure you're a little worried, so let's check to make sure your kaydee's tails are OK. Just because she has two doesn't mean there's actually a problem." He gave Mom a thumbs-up.

He then reached for Maizy to pick her up, and she bit him. "Excellent bite, young kaydee!" he smiled at Maizy. "Bite response is good." He then grabbed her and put her on the floor.

Why do I DO that‽ Maizy still couldn't get over that "bite response" thing.  Whoa, I don't feel so good.  Her stomach didn't like being moved like that, and she was starting to feel a little woozy.

"We're going to do a little test to make sure your tails are absorbing magic like they're supposed to," the doctor stated, then reached into a drawer and pulled out what looked like a large, dark purple marble. "This is called a 'null crystal,' and it will absorb the magic in your body. I want you to put it in your mouth, but don't swallow it.  It tastes awful, but please don't spit it out until I tell you, OK?"

Maizy nodded. Then she opened her eyes wide and kept nodding—because for some reason, that motion felt really good—until the doctor lowered the crystal in front of her face. She opened her mouth and slurped it in like a lollipop.

Blech!  Her whole face twisted. It tasted like the ghost of expired cleaning fluid. Every cell in her body demanded she spit it out. But no. She was strong! She had willpower! She could do this!

She started to cry—but she couldn't tell if it was actual tears or just her soul trying to escape the flavor. Her tummy, fed up with this whole experience, filed its resignation notice.

Maizy opened her mouth, let the null crystal roll out, then unleashed a torrent of sparkling, rainbow-colored vomit all over the floor like a glitter cannon of regret.

The doctor recoiled in horror. "YOU FED RAINBOW FRUIT TO A KAYDEE‽"

Mom—thinking today just couldn't get any better—gave a shrugging smile and said, "It was... an accident?"

Bleck, noticing an exciting opportunity, zipped over and started slurping it up like it was the gourmet soup of the day.

"Gross!" Mom said, with a disgusted grimace.

The doctor—who was reaching for something that looked like paper towels—turned toward the isopod. "Oh, Bleck! Don't eat that!"

The isopod was a surprisingly fast eater! By the time the doctor got to him, nearly half of Maizy's rainbow vomit was gone.

Bleck then did something that caused both Doctor Roof and Mom to freeze in shock: He made a sound with his mouth. "Chih."

"Is that... normal?" Mom asked.

"I didn't think isopods could make sounds!" The doctor was stunned, nervous, and impressed all at the same time.

Bleck then started vibrating to a rhythm, making brief, deep humming sounds like some sort of weird electronic bass drum. His banded carapace began changing colors, emitting bright, rainbow-colored lights in a chasing pattern.

Maizy stared at the pretty colors.  Ooh! Bleck has gone full RGB! she thought.

"Guh. Chih. Guh. Chih. Guh. Chih." Bleck blasted out the beats while all three kads in the room started to get a glassy look in their eyes.

Doctor Roof and Mom suddenly became entranced. They stared at Bleck's hypnotic lights and started rocking back and forth to the rhythm—like they were dancing.

Maizy had a sudden desire to get up and dance, but she had lost most of her strength from the null crystal.  Aw, I want to dance! she thought, weakly kicking her feet.

Then Mom did the unthinkable: She took off her poncho, then her ribbon—going completely naked—and started dancing. She pranced and twirled the ribbon like she was doing a floor routine at the Magical Olympics. Maizy was impressed.  Nice dancing, Mom!

Maizy's head drooped. Her battle to stay awake was officially lost. The last thing she remembered was the doctor dancing on the ceiling, arms flailing like a deranged ceiling fan.

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"We shall never speak of this," the doctor declared. Mom—with the shocked stare of a thousand miles—just nodded as she carried Maizy out of the examination room.

Huh? Maizy woke up feeling the opposite of well-rested, like she had just had a terrible night. One where she tossed and turned. And puked rainbows off the side of the bed.

"Oh! One last thing I need to check..." the doctor turned around and went back into the examination room, only to return a moment later with something in his hands. "It's the last part of the kadgar test. Place Maizy on the floor, please." Mom obliged, pretty sure she knew what was about to happen.

Maizy just looked up at the doctor as he threw a large bug in her direction. A large, yellow beetle hit the floor next to Maizy and immediately caught wind of its destiny. It bolted for the door.

It wasn't fast enough. Maizy had it in her mouth in a fraction of a moment, then chomped down. It made a crunching sound and squirted beetle juices all around inside her mouth.

"Excellent! That should make your tummy feel better," the doctor stated. "I give her a clean bill of health. She's a healthy kaydee... with two tails." He shrugged.

WHY DID I JUST DO THAT‽ Maizy was once again horrified at her own seemingly inexplicable behavior.  Actually... she continued to chew the beetle, it tastes like a lemon lollipop! Yum!

KAD VOCABULARY:

When a kad yawns and stretches that's called, "pankadulation".