I'm the protagonist… right? …RIGHT?!

I threw open the guild doors with all the theatrical flair a true isekai protagonist deserves.
BAM!
Yeah, just like that. Full drama mode.

I stepped inside, expecting to be greeted with cheers, confetti, and a legendary sword handed to me just for existing…
But the first thing that hit me was the stench of stale beer, half-cooked meat, and Level 3 adventurer sweat.

The place looked like someone had mashed together a medieval tavern with a discount magic shop.
Crooked scrolls hanging off dusty shelves, monster heads mounted on the walls (or maybe local politicians), and a chandelier made of bones that definitely wouldn't pass any safety inspection.

Adventurers were eating, drinking, laughing, singing, brawling…
Basically, everything you’d expect from a well-functioning fantasy guild.

“Yes… this is a real guild,” I muttered, feeling like I’d finally stepped into the game.

But then…

Silence.
Like someone hit the mute button.

Every pair of eyes locked on me.
Or well… not me, exactly.

They were all staring at the sexy demon girl glued to my back like she was allergic to attention.
And now… she was hiding behind me.

The tension was thick enough to cut with a cursed butter knife. All we were missing was a distant whistle and an out-of-tune harmonica.

“Ren… they’re staring at us,” Evelyn whispered without moving an inch.

No shit they’re staring! I thought, smiling awkwardly like someone who walked into the wrong bathroom.

Then, a sweet voice broke the moment:

“Welcome to the Norwenthia Adventurers’ Guild!”

“We hope you enjoy our services,” added a second voice… identical to the first.

Wait… was that another voice? Are these clones? Am I dreaming? Did I die again?

I looked up… and there they were.
Two girls. Exactly alike.

Straight, shiny chestnut hair to the shoulders, perfectly cut bangs.
Both wore a white ribbon on their heads — identical down to the crease — and their eyes were a cool grayish-blue, soft and professional, judging me and seducing me at the same time.

Official guild uniform: white blouse with embroidered details, emerald green corset with golden accents, long skirt with a side slit, dark tights, and leather boots.
A brooch with the guild’s emblem on their chests.

One had a serious, professional look.
The other… smiled mischievously like she already knew what size underwear I wore.

The best part?

They finished each other’s sentences.
Yes! They were like predictive text in human form!

“We’re Lyra,” said the stern one.
“And Lina,” added the cheeky one, winking at me without shame.

“Nice to meet you,” they said in perfect unison, so synchronized it gave me chills.

Okay… this officially feels like a dating sim now.

“Hi, I’m Ren, and this here’s Evelyn. We’re here to register as adventurers,” I said in my most serious tone, standing tall like I didn’t have a half-naked ex-goddess clinging to my back.

Way too many eyes were on us, so… time to act like a decent protagonist for once.

“Welcome, Ren and Evelyn,” one of the twins said.
“Please follow us,” added the other, gesturing elegantly.

Finally, some nice people. I was starting to like this place.

We made our way through the guild, passing tables, beer mugs, and stares… lots of stares.

But none of them were directed at me, of course.

Everyone. Absolutely everyone. Was staring at Evelyn.

Mouths wide open. Eyes bulging. Adventurers drooling like broken faucets.

And honestly… I didn’t blame them.

Because Evelyn wasn’t just provocative.
She looked like she’d been designed by a fanservice committee.

“Did you see that girl?”
“Hey! You’re drooling!”
“What? Oh! Sorry, sorry!”
“Who is she?”
“Those curves though…”

“Don’t worry, Evelyn,” I whispered protectively. “Once we’re out of here, those creeps will stop ogling your body.”

Great. Now I’m a hypocrite too.
But it’s not my fault. Who wouldn’t be, in this situation?

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, expecting her to be blushing, uncomfortable… maybe even a little embarrassed.

But no.

Evelyn walked with her head held high, flashing a tempting smile, hips swaying in ways that could break a low-level cleric’s will to live.

Is she… enjoying the lewd stares from all these adventurers?

Yes.
Definitely yes.

The damn demon was strutting like it was her personal catwalk, soaking up attention like forbidden mana.

Perfect.
Here I am struggling to keep it together…
And she’s in full-on seductive demon queen mode.

We reached a wooden counter with magical carvings… and a thick layer of dust.

Someone explain to me why magical things are always dusty. Like, don’t they have enchantments for cleaning?

“Well, here we are,” said Lyra, the serious one.
“Now we’ll explain how the guild works,” added Lina with her charming smile.

Do they always tag-team their sentences like this? Do they share Wi-Fi or what?

“First, do you see this orb here?” Lyra asked, pointing to a glowing magical ball on the counter.

Classic fantasy orb.
It shimmered like a disco ball and probably had more features than my old smartphone.

“You have to place your hand on it,” said Lina in that “this is going to hurt but it’s protocol” tone.
“That way, we can assess your combat power,” added Lyra with her apocalyptic civil servant seriousness.

Ahhh, I get it now…
So this is how the world works.
Which means… I’ll be like the Shadow Monarch, right? Let’s go!

“So… I just have to put my hand here, right?” I asked, full protagonist confidence, placing my glorious hand on the orb.

ZUUUM!

A blinding light filled the room.
Wind, lightning, thunder—special effects everywhere as if I were unlocking a secret god mode.

It was epic.
I was about to break the system.

Adventurers held their breath.
Evelyn looked at me… somewhere between impressed and, well, mostly amused.

The orb vibrated. Sparks. Pure energy.

And finally, after a few seconds…

...

...

“Um… Mr. Ren,” Lyra said, raising an eyebrow at the results.
“Amazing…” added Lina with a suspicious little smile.

This was not the reaction I was expecting…

(4 power units)

...

Evelyn let out a stifled laugh, covering her mouth with both hands like that would somehow hide her demonic mockery.

“Miss Lina… Can I try again? I think… something went wrong,” I said in my most heroic voice. Or tried to.

It came out more like a tragic mix of outrage and denial.

“Umm… yes, feel free to try again,” Lina replied, clearly trying not to burst out laughing.

I placed my hand back on the orb, focusing like I was about to trigger a shonen transformation.

FWOOSH!

The effects came back—bigger, louder, more dramatic.
My imaginary cape billowed.

“I can feel it! The power! It’s flowing through my veins!”

...

...

(3 power units)

“YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!! 3 UNITS?! IT WAS 4 JUST A MINUTE AGO!!”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Ren,” Lyra said with complete composure.
“You can always look for a job that doesn’t involve adventuring…” added Lina with a smile that was both adorable and devastating.

And then…

The whole guild exploded in laughter.

Apparently, this was the worst result anyone had ever seen.
There were adventurers who scored higher drunk and with a broken leg.

This is absurd… Wasn’t I the chosen one? The world-saving hero?

Dammit.

“My turn,” Evelyn said, wiping a tear from laughing… at me.

Yes.
She had literally laughed herself to a demon tear.

Adorable.

She stepped up with her usual seductive grace and placed her hand on the orb without a shred of worry.

And then…

PZZZZHHHH! FWOOM! KZZZK!

All the effects went wild: lightning, fog, epic wind, even a dramatic celestial-demonic choir in the background.

I thought all that flair was just for my power…

“I-Incredible!” gasped Lyra, eyes wide.
“This can’t be!” Lina added, staring at the orb like it had just revealed a forbidden secret.

(ERROR 404)

...

“What? What does that mean?” Evelyn asked, looking adorably confused, like a kid waiting for her exam score.

A kid with horns, wings, and a bust that defied physics—but a kid nonetheless.

“Don’t tell me she—”

“She has an astonishing power level, Miss Evelyn,” Lina said with total fangirl energy.
“This is the first time we’ve ever seen anything like it!” added Lyra, absolutely stunned.

And there I was.
Wrapped in a gray aura of absolute depression, crawling to a dark corner of the guild…
…drawing sad little circles on the floor with my finger, while the rest of the world chanted the name of the demon who dragged me into this world.

“Evelyn! Evelyn! Evelyn!”

She, of course, responded with a power pose: one leg forward, hand on hip, the other raised like she’d just won the annual Waifu Championship.
Glowing smile. Fiery eyes. Final-form sexy demon aura.

It was such an epic scene… it hurt.

It’s not fair… That was supposed to be my moment.

And yet…

Here I am.
The chosen one.
The hero.
With three damn power units.

After the utterly humiliating power assessment, and with my dignity bleeding out, the guild girls continued the registration process like nothing happened.

There I was, emotionally comatose, while they stayed in full-on tutorial mode.

“Now that you know your power levels,” Lyra said, completely unfazed.
“You’ll need to pay the registration fee,” Lina added, in her sweet tone that almost made it sound like a gift.

They humiliate me and then charge me for it.
Thanks, fantasy world. You were supposed to be awesome… but you’re ruining my life one installment at a time.

“And how much is the fee?” I asked out of formality, even though a huge sign right next to us clearly said:

(Adventurer Registration: 1,000 argens)

The currency in this world was simple, round. Shiny silver.
Apparently, the only thing in this world that doesn’t hate me.

“That’ll be 2,000 argens total,” Lyra stated with surgical precision.
“Here you go,” I said, handing over my coins with existential resignation.

“Thank you very much,” Lina replied, accepting the payment like I’d just sold her my soul in exact change.

“You’ll find available quests on the notice board,” Lyra explained, gesturing to the back of the hall.
“And there’s also a map of the Khaelym kingdoms,” added Lina, sounding way too cheerful—like she was giving me a ticket to a theme park… on fire.

“Alright, great, I’ll check it out,” I said, mentally bracing myself for my first job… sword-and-blood edition.

Though someone had already beaten me to it…

Of course, Evelyn was already at the board, studying quests like other girls browse bikinis on sale.

“One question… how much is a room here?” I asked, trying to figure out how far my pathetic budget could stretch.

“Room rate is 250 argens per night,” Lyra replied in a neutral tone.

Huh… at least the rent wasn’t too bad. For once, something decent in this universe.

“Alright, I’ll take a room,” I said, feeling a bit more upbeat.
It’s something.

“One bed for both of you?” Lina asked, with an innocent smile that smelled like bait.

Is this a trap question?

“Mmm… yeah, one bed is fine,” I replied, as a pervy grin formed on my face against my will.

It’s not my fault, I swear.
Pure male reflexes.

“Pervert…” Lyra muttered under her breath—just loud enough to wound my ego.

“What? Did you say something?” I asked with my classic “I didn’t hear you but I totally did” face.

“No no no, nothing!” she rushed to say, turning back to her papers.

“Here’s your room key,” Lina said, handing me a small silver key with a number engraved on it.

I held it with solemn reverence.
My new home.
My new world.
My… future shared bed with a half-naked demon who could murder me in my sleep.

Great start.

I headed toward the notice board, where Evelyn stood with suspiciously focused seriousness.

Surprisingly… attentive.

The mischievous demon actually concentrating on something that wasn’t her reflection or ruining my life?
Concerning.

“Hey, Evelyn,” I said, scratching my neck with fake innocence, “I booked us a room with just one bed. Hope you don’t mind…”

“Alright, that’s fine,” she answered casually, like I’d just told her it might rain tomorrow.

...

Huh?

Nothing?
No tantrum, no threats, no sultry teasing?

For a second, I felt guilty.
Like I’d crossed some invisible line.
Like I was… maturing.

...

HA.
Yeah, right.

“See anything interesting?” I asked, sliding up beside her like emotional rejection didn’t affect me.

“Look,” she said, pointing at a spot on the board.

A massive map took up half the board, decorated like someone had mixed a high fantasy epic with a medieval travel brochure.

Each kingdom was marked in a different color:
Elar’wyn in green for the elves, Skraag’dur in red for the orcs, Khar’zûl in gold for the draconics, Umgrûn in brown for the dwarves, Virelthia in blue for the humans, and… of course, Xel’torrah in black for the demons.

At the bottom, in elegant ancient calligraphy, the name of the world:

KHAELYM.

And right next to it, ruining the entire immersive vibe…
A ridiculous tourist-style marker with a hand-drawn stick figure pointing upward:

“You are here.”

So elegant… until someone added clipart.

“Well, it’s late. Let’s get some sleep.
Tomorrow we’ll pick a quest,” I said, trying to sound like someone who had his life together.

To my surprise, Evelyn nodded without protest…
And quietly followed me to the room.

No teasing.
No lewd comments.
No turning around every three steps to mess with me.

...

What’s wrong with her? Is she sick? Is she lulling me into a false sense of security to murder me in bed?

Either way… I was going to sleep in the same bed as a demon girl with overwhelming power.
And the worst part… or maybe the best part…

…was that she didn’t seem to care at all.

The room wasn’t very big, but it had everything you’d need to survive in a low-budget fantasy world:

A decent bed (big, but not fancy), a little table with a flickering magic candle, a small closet that smelled like old wood, a slightly torn rug, and a window with a view of… well, the alley behind the guild.

Not bad for 250 argens a night.
The perfect place for two rookie adventurers.
Or a virgin with a moral crisis.

Suddenly, Evelyn ran inside like she’d just won a bikini contest prize.

“Woooo!” she yelled before leaping onto the bed.

BOING!

The mattress bounced.
And so did… well… you know.

Ehem, ehem… no need to spell it out, right?
Or do I?

I cleared my throat like that would erase the mental image.
Spoiler: it didn’t.

“Since I’m a gentleman,” I said with fake dignity, “I’ll sleep here.”

I pointed to the rug with a trembling finger.

I can’t believe I’m saying this…
Who am I and what have they done with the real Ren?!

“Are you sure?” Evelyn whispered in that sweet, twisted tone that could melt ice… or cause cardiac arrest in monks.

She sat on the bed, holding her demon tail with both hands, twirling it slowly and seductively.

AHHHHHHHHHHH
OF COURSE I’M NOT SURE!

But I didn’t say it.
No.

I swallowed my libido and summoned a courage I didn’t know I had.
Probably fake courage, but it sounded noble.

“Sure,” I affirmed, voice cracking and dignity in shambles, laying down on the rug with a thin blanket and my back turned away from a hot, barely dressed demon goddess with zero shame.

A single tear rolled down my cheek.

I can’t believe I’m doing this…

She didn’t say anything.
But she smiled.
I didn’t see it—
But I felt it.

Like the air had filled with gentle malice and silent satisfaction.

And just like that…

We spent our first night in Khaelym.
One in the bed.
The other on the floor.
Both with secrets still unspoken.

And me…

With a broken back… and a soul in Game Over mode.