My Useless Business Partner

I woke up with a splitting headache.

Which was impressive, considering I didn’t technically have a head anymore.

I tried to rub my temples. Realized I didn’t have those either. By all signs, the ambient dripping, the mossy rock walls, I was now a Dungeon Core controlling a natural healing spring.

Great. Reincarnation’s peak form: a large gemstone.

Did I pass out after using too large a spell?

“Okay, Kazuki. Stay calm. Assess the situation. Maybe I’m hallucinating. Maybe I’m still in my room, dreaming after binge-watching anime.”

But the last thing I remembered was that dreaded cactus. If the tabloids found out, I’d never live it down!

Next to me floated a lady. She was half-draped in a priest’s robe, wings dipping into my water. She was snoring happily. Loudly. Drooling too.

“Hey. Hey, you. Sleeping pigeon.”

No response.

“Hey! Pigeon Angel, wake up before I evaporate you!”

She jolted, wings flapping and splashing half my water onto the cave wall. She squinted blearily at me.

I mustered my best godly spring spirit voice. “Explain. Why am I a glorified foot bath?”

“…Huh? Oh. You’re awake. Great. Yawn*, congratulations on your reincarnation. Please enjoy your new life as the Dungeon Core of the Sacred Spring. Offerings not included.”

“Spring? Who put me here?! I had a body! I had my gacha games! I had an immortal cactus–!”

“I did. I received you. You died so tragically, there was nothing left of you to be reincarnated. So embarrassingly too. So, a higher God grabbed your soul and bound you here.”

My waters bubbled. “You received me? Like a stray cat?”

“Exactly. Except you don’t scratch furniture, so that’s nice.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I got a letter.”

There was a letter. I was shocked. My soul was actually passed around like an abandoned creature until this Angel took me in, thus reincarnating me here.

She stretched, sighing like I was her personal sento. Which, apparently, I was. I felt a weird tingle as my warmth soaked into her feathers.

“Hey! That’s my spring water, you freeloader!”

“How dare you! Besides, I’m only taking a break.”

“From what? Angel duties?”

“From guiding souls, blessing crops, answering prayers, and the like. I’m done. So, I’m turning your spring into my personal spa.”

“That’s the problem! What happened to opening to the public?!”

She reached behind a rock and pulled out a sign – handwritten with what looked like half-dry holy paint:

“Sharlotte’s Sacred Spa: Open When I Feel Like It.”

“Oh no, you don’t. If I’m stuck as a Dungeon Core, I’m at least gonna make bank! We open for paying clients, we rake in money – and I get my body back!”

“But I’m on break.”

“You remember what happened last time, don’t you? You do. I’ll drain myself dry and leave nothing but rocks.”

“Try it, dunce Dungeon Core.” We glared at each other, or as close as you can glare when you’re a rock. “You know nothing of this world. I’ll make you hallucinate with holy spells. Realize you have the disadvantage, you lowly–”

“[Energy Drain Flow Level–”

“You’d make us both pass out?! Okay! Fine. Partnership.”

“Good. Fifty-fifty.”

“Sixty-forty. I’m the pretty face.”

“Fifty-fifty or I start bubbling sulfur.”

“Geez. Fine!” She smacked her palm onto my crystal. “Congratulations, business partner. Please enjoy being my personal spa for one last day.”

Sharlotte was already snoring again, wings splayed out, fully submerged in my warmth.

I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake by teaming with her. But what was I supposed to do? I was backed into a corner!

If I want my body back, I’d have to run the world’s best natural spring with the world’s most useless business partner!

Bring it on!!