Gambling with the Lost and Found Bin

“There it is. It's just up there.” Rollnaldo pointed out toward the horizon.

I squinted, trying to make out what was in the distance. “Is that a giant playing card?”

Rollnaldo laughed. “What else would it be?”

At this point, I really shouldn't have been surprised anymore. Out ahead of us, sticking out of the sand, were a series of massive playing cards that were probably at least five stories tall, forming a wall around our destination.

“If that surprises you, wait until you see the bridge on the other si-.”

Out of nowhere, over a steep dune to our right, a wooden cart came charging over it.

“What the-!?” I exclaimed, as the cart rammed head first into us.

Both Rollnaldo and I fell backwards into the sand, while Rollnaldo's own cart, which he had been dragging along behind us, took the brunt of the impact. It tipped over with all his crates that were stacked on it toppling over.

“Watch where you're going, you dumb mucks!” A female voice reprimanded us. It appeared there was someone steering the other cart.

“You're the one who hit us!” I retorted, as I rubbed my head.

“Hey, you're kind of cute.” The voice suddenly changed its tune.

“Oh… uh… thank-.”

“No, not you, him!” She pointed toward Rollnaldo.

“Him?” I murmured to myself, confused.

The person that hit us was a girl who was probably in her early 20s like me. The roots of her messy shoulder length hair were black, so her purple hair was obviously dyed. Her purple eyes appeared to be contacts. What appeared to be real though was the large number eight that was tattooed under her right eye. She wore a light grey tank top and a pair of purple short shorts with a pair of matching flip flops.

“That perfect cube shape is just so hot… Also why the heck aren't you wearing any pants?” She suddenly shook her head then slapped herself in the face. “What am I doing? I don't have time for this!”

Before we could say anything else to her, she picked up all the crates that had fallen off of her own cart and sped off in a hurry to who knows where.

“What the heck was that about?” I turned toward Rollnaldo.

He dusted himself off, and started picking up his capsized merchandise cart. “Dyed hair and face tattoos, chicks like that are what I call a giant red flag. Kind of reminds me of my ex-wife.”

“Wait, you used to be married?”

He smirked. “Yeah, that was a long time ago. She was a twelve sided die, I’m a six. Things just didn’t roll well with us… and when I say ‘us’ I mean ‘her’. She was just batpip crazy!…”

For the next fifteen minutes, as we were picking up the merchandise crates that had fallen from his cart, he proceeded to rant about his ex-wife. I immediately regretted asking him about it.

“…And then after the divorce hearings, she was awarded my entire life’s savings and ran off with my cousin, Betssi.” He concluded his tirade.

After getting all his stuff back together, I avoided asking him about his past relationships any further, as we continued making our way onward toward our destination.

♠️♠️♠️

Rollnaldo and I stood in front of the giant playing card walls, preparing to enter the city, which rested on the edge of a steep and vast canyon.

“Why do they call this place Blackjack Crossing?” I wondered.

“That's because spanning from this city is a bridge that leads across Card Count Canyon, which is the only way to get from the Dicey Desert into the Wager Woods.” Rollnaldo explained.

As the two of us approached the entrance to the city, which was just a gap between two of the giant card walls, we were immediately greeted by two red colored slotomatons that were standing guard. They looked at the two of us momentarily, then made a series of clicking noises between each other, until finally ushering us in.

“I'm surprised they let us in that easily.” I said, as I glanced around in awe.

Inside the walls, every single structure was built from oversized playing cards as well. Even the roads were paved with normal sized cards.

“Getting into the city isn't the problem, it's leaving the province that is.” He responded, as the two of us entered the city.

“What do you mean?”

“Not just anyone is allowed to cross that bridge. Only gamblords with a player's card can cross as they please.”

“How do we get one of those?”

“I’m not sure. That’s what we still need to figure out… but first thing’s first, we need to get you a pair of pants.”

We were barely a few steps into the city and immediately I noticed a six foot tall anthropomorphic three of clubs card staring at me with a strange look. I couldn't really blame it though, considering all I had on was a hoodie and my tighty-whities.

“As much as I'd like to get some pants, how are we gonna do that with no money?” My stomach let out a growl. “We don't even have enough to buy food either.”

“Speak for yourself. You might be a broke boy, but I'm not. All my funds are just tied up in merchandise at the moment.” Rollnaldo patted one of the crates on his cart. “But since I can't have you getting locked up for public indecency again, I'll teach you a neat trick to get stuff for free.”

Without elaborating further, he led the way through the streets of the city, avoiding any overly crowded areas to keep as much attention off of me as he could. Eventually we stopped in front of a box shaped building, which like everything in this city was made completely from giant playing carts stacked together. On the front of it, there was a sign that read, ‘Guard Station #7’.

“Would you look at that, it's even a lucky number.” Rollnaldo remarked.

“I'm surprised, I would have expected this to be the kind of place you would have avoided like the plague.” …Not to mention, you're technically an escaped convict.

He shot me a mischievous grin. “Just follow my lead and play along. I'll do most of the talking… oh and try to act distraught. Don't be afraid to shed a couple tears if you have to.”

“Wait a sec-!” I couldn't get out another word since he already entered the guard station, bringing his merch cart with him.

I hesitated for a moment whether I should follow him or not.

Let it ride! A voice suddenly echoed in my head.

Listening to Rollnaldo had gotten me this far. It's not like I had much else going for me in this strange world. I let out a sigh, before tagging along behind him.

Inside, he parked his cart within eyesight, just in front of the doorway. The two of us approached the front desk where we were greeted by a blue slotomaton standing behind it. It squinted its large googly eyes, as it shot me a dirty look.

Rollnaldo, who was too short to see over the desk, turned toward me. “I’m gonna need a boost.” I lifted him up and set him down on the desk as he continued. “I’m really sorry for my friend's indecency, officer, but this is urgent! We were just casually walking through town, when he misplaced his favorite pair of pants. He's really distraught over it…”

The slotomaton made a clicking noise as it shot me a suspicious gaze.

“I said he's really distraught over it!” Rollnaldo spoke louder with more emphasis this time.

There was a pause, followed by a sharp pain stabbing into my left hand. “...” I bit my lip, as tears rolled out of my eyes. When I looked down at my hand that had been set on the table, Rollnaldo was discreetly stabbing it with a thumbtack.

He went on. “See, the poor guy can't even talk, he's so upset. You wouldn't happen to have a lost and found we can look through?”

The slotomaton made some more clicking noises, this time followed by it spinning the three reels on its chest. When they stopped, they landed on cherry, cherry, and cherry. It proceeded to leave us for a moment while it went to a back room.

“Your plan is to steal from the lost and found?” I whispered, careful that the robot couldn't hear me.

“I personally call it ‘borrowing’. Stealing would imply that we're taking something from someone, but this stuff's already lost, so technically we're not taking anything from anyone.” He attempted to sway me with mental gymnastics.

The slotomaton returned with a card board box in hand. It set it down on the counter for us to look through.

“Let's see what we got.” Rollnaldo rummaged through it, scattering miscellaneous junk across the robot’s desk with no regard. “There's got to be something in he-.” He paused as he held up a pair of ridiculous-looking lime green denim pants. “I can't believe it, Lucky, we found them!” He let out a cheer of fake excitement.

Both him and the slotomaton stared at me, expecting me to put the pair of pants on. I let out a huff. “Wow… I can't believe it's actually them.” I gave a sarcastic tone that only Rollnaldo could pick up on.

One leg at a time, I crammed the lower half of my body into the pants. Judging from the look and feel of them, I was almost certain these were women's pants, which were at least two sizes too small and only came down to my mid shin like a pair of floods.

I had to suck in my gut, as I struggled to zip the fly. “I forgot just how… comfortable these were.”

The slotomaton gave us a satisfied nod and a click, seeming to buy that these were actually my pants. Personally, I wondered if I'd have been better off staying in my underwear.

“Well, thanks for all you hel-.”

Rollnaldo was interrupted by a loud crash. Turning around to investigate, two more slotomaton guards had entered into the guard station, accidentally bumping into Rollnaldo's merchandise cart, which he had placed obstructing the entrance. One of the crates fell over onto the floor. Its lid popped off, revealing a series bowling ball-sized black spheres with wicks sticking out the top of them…

“What the-?....Those aren't mine.” Rollnaldo had a confused look on his face.

The three slotomaton’s goofy looking googly eyes turned red and menacing while they surrounded us.

“Mother pipper!” Rollnaldo cursed under his breath.

It seemed like just when I let my guard down, my misfortunes were once again returning…