Eldritch Space Hunter Five: II - The Seven Seas

Marumi did what any sane, rational, reasonable person would have done upon seeing a wide-eyed man running at them in a bar. She shrieked, then she sprayed him with the seltzer hose.

Kenichi stood there, soaking wet. Hollis and Maka stepped up beside him.

“I was going to say,” Hollis said, “that that name is already taken, but I see you already know the fair proprietress of Hasenrausch.” He smiled at Marumi. “You'll have to excuse our friend's behavior. We just found him in the garbage compactor.”

Marumi gave a slow, cautious nod. “Is he here to replace Tequila?” she said after a while.

C4N stepped behind the bar and grabbed himself a towel. Then he began to wipe the seltzer off of Kenichi's face. “There you go,” he said, handing the soaked towel to Kenichi.

“Yes,” said Maka. “We think. We'll have to ask the new admiral when he arrives.”

Marumi looked at Kenichi. She narrowed her eyes. “How do you know my name?”

Kenichi held the wet towel. “I,” he began, trying to assemble a collection of words into something coherent. Then he sat down on one of the stools. “I know somebody who looks just like you.”

“And has the same name as me?” she said.

“It's complicated,” he said.

Marumi made a noise that was part acknowledgement and part I'm-not-entirely-convinced-you're-telling-the-truth.

“We're here to get Kenichi a drink,” said Maka. “We ran out at the retirement party.”

Marumi looked at C4N. “I would have thought you'd have finished by now.”

Hollis looked at C4N. “There were some issues finishing up,” he said.

C4N picked up a dirty glass from the bar and began to clean it.

“He's still good,” said Kenichi. “See. He's helping clean.”

“Starbrand made the robot Kenichi's problem,” said Maka.

“He could help you clean up around here,” Kenichi said.

“And now it looks like he's trying to make it your problem,” Hollis said.

Marumi looked from the Space Hunters, then to the strange man who knew her name, then to the robot who was now washing dishes behind the bar. She sighed. “He can stay and help out,” she said. “As long as he doesn't break anything.”

Kenichi grinned. “Thanks, Marumi. I'm sure C4N won't let you down!”

The robot was now mopping the kitchen. “Is that all he does?” she asked.

“He's a janitor bot,” said Maka, digging through a bowl of mixed nuts. “He might know a joke or two, but I'm pretty sure that's all he does.”

“Now, about that drink. What will you have, Kenichi?” Hollis asked.

Kenichi looked at the rows of bottles on the back shelf. He saw a variety of shapes and colors, but had no idea where to even start. He saw something that looked a bit like a bottle of Verdigris, but in a futuristic bottle. He knew what he wouldn't be having, remembering the burning sensation at the back of his throat. He looked over to Maka and Hollis. “What would you recommend?”

Maka gave a curling smile to Hollis, and Hollis nodded. Hollis turned to Marumi. “Our friend will have the Seven Seas,” he said.

Marumi paused in her wiping of the glass she held. “Are you sure?” she said.

“Yes,” said Maka.

“What's a Seven Seas?” Kenichi asked.

“It's great,” Hollis said. “You'll love it.”

“Okay,” said Kenichi.

That was enough for Marumi. She turned and grabbed a few bottles. To Kenichi, it looked like she was doing it at random, but he expected that she was skilled enough at her job to make it look as if she could do this sort of thing casually. After pouring an assortment of liquids into a glass, she slid the drink over to Kenichi. Hollis set a credit chip down on the bar.

Kenichi looked at the glass before him. It was an odd color. He lifted the glass, raised it to his nose and gave a cautious sniff. He could not quite pinpoint the odor. It smelled of almonds and rubbing alcohol and apricot and something dark, like coffee or chocolate. He gave it a sip.

“What do you think?” Hollis said.

He struggled to swallow. It was worse than Verdigris. He managed to gulp it down. “Oh,” he said, his voice weak. “I've never tasted that before.” He pushed the glass away. “I'm not much of a drinker, to be honest.”

“Fine enough,” said Maka. She lifted the cup and drained the contents.

“High-five!” Hollis said. Maka reciprocated.

“You shouldn't be keeping the new guy up so late,” Marumi said. “He probably needs to get certified in the morning.”

Maka and Hollis both frowned. “Okay, buzzkill,” Hollis said. “I guess we'll let Bunny torment him on our behalf.”

“Bunny?” said Kenichi.

“Bunny Chiffon,” said Maka. “She's handles flight certification.”

“She doesn't sound so scary,” Kenichi said.

Everybody who heard him say that laughed, including some of the more quiet barflies in the corner.

“I'd better get you to your bunk,” Hollis said. “Before Achlys starts creeping around looking for you with her box of ‘therapy puppets.’” He made finger quotes.

He gave Maka one last high-five before leading Kenichi into the corridor. C4N waved goodbye then went back to cleaning years of accumulated grease stains from the stainless steel cabinets.

Kenichi whistled. “It has been quite a week for me,” he said.

Hollis looked back. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Would you believe that before you found me in the compactor, I was defeating a dark lord in my favorite fantasy novel?”

“No,” said Hollis. “But if you like defeating dark lords, we've got one of our own. Asturoth. Not sure if he's a giant space squid or a tentacle planet, but he's the whole reason we're battling the star children.”

“It sounds challenging.”

“It is. Only Space Hunters with Mechmotes can venture to the Far Reaches, and that's the only way we can do any sort of lasting damage against the enemy.”

“What about the rest of the fleet?” Kenichi asked.

“They're here mostly to defend the station. It's only the four, well, five of us that can keep things running. But that might change.” Hollis leaned close to Kenichi. “Don't tell anybody, but I got some early orders from the new admiral. They sent me the salvage from what was left of Tequila's mech, and I'm fixing it up in secret. I don't even let Maka know what I'm doing.”

“Why are you telling me, then?”

Hollis shrugged. “You seem like you're less likely to blab than Maka. If you tell that Nekoid anything, you might as well broadcast it across the entire station.” He chuckled. “Doesn't make me like her any less, though.” They arrived at the door. The name panel next to it was blank. Hollis looked up at Kenichi. “Once you figure out your callsign, we'll put it here on the door. Have you thought of any yet?”

Kenichi grinned. “How about ‘Hero’?”

Hollis frowned. “Nah,” he said. “That one's taken. But, hey, I have a good one for you. How about Seltzer?” He started laughing. “Yeah, that'll be it. I'll go tell everybody. Or at least go tell Maka.” He went away, chuckling to himself.

Kenichi watched him go. Then he pushed the door to his room open.

At least, that's what he tried to do. The door didn't budge. He pressed his hand against it and tried to move it to the side, then the other. Then he ran his hands down the doorframe looking for a hidden knob or button or anything. He sighed, spun around, looking for someone who could give him help. The hallway was quiet. “Well,” he said. “I guess I just have to sleep out here unless I can figure out how to get this door open.” He leaned his back against the door.

“DOOR OPEN,” the door said, sliding up and out of his way. He fell into the room.

The first thing he noticed about the room was its ceiling, white with recessed lighting, grey paneling without any seams. It was what people a few decades ago would have thought a few decades into the future would look like. He pushed himself up off the floor. There was a simple bed, a screen, a table fused to the wall with an accompanying chair. A window let him see the starfield outside. He stepped up to the window and took a moment to appreciate the view: the stars scattered across the heavens like a million pinpricks of light. In a way, it reminded him of that giant spider's web. He shuttered, glad he had gotten past it once more.

He sat on the bed and looked at his mechmote. “Why do you think Marumi is here too?” he asked the device.

“Unknown,” said Drowsysword.

He tossed the mechmote onto the bedstand. “I guess I had better get some sleep.” While searching the room for a seamless drawer that might contain some regulation issue pajamas, he bumped against the computer screen. It flickered to life. On the screen were a variety of menu options. One of them said STATION DIRECTORY. He tapped at it. On the on-screen keyboard, he types “CHIFFON” and pulled up the station directory record for the notorious flight certifier.

Accompanying her name, rank, and contact information was a headshot of Bunny Chiffon. In her picture, she had hair the color of honey, eyes the color of gold, bubblegum-pink lips, and a sort of half-smile that couldn't be threatening if she tried.

He laughed. “I don't see what the big deal is,” he said, taking his shoes off and leaving them by the door. He decided that he'd find the pajamas tomorrow. As his head hit the pillow, he fell asleep almost instantly.