Chapter 16

“May Goddess protect us. You told them what?”

Karim looked at me in shock. We sat in his chamber, and I tried to replay the chain of events that had led to this. Altea, the banquet, the King, and the sudden tremble, followed by Eden bursting into the King’s room with blood-stained cloths, reporting that the city was secure.

“We cannot retake Tarnis, we are still too weak.”, Karim continued desperately.

I couldn’t look at him. So my promise to Altea had been even worse than I’d thought. Now we would lose everything, and they would hate me for it. Fine, I told myself. I probably could stay here and meet the end with the rest of them as a punishment for my foolishness.

“She made her choice. The Goddess has spoken. It’s not what we hoped for, but it is what we have ”, Uruk said quietly, surprisingly calm despite what I’d done.

“But we need more time”, Selene said.

I stared at the floor and the chair suddenly felt really uncomfortable. Fine. I would leave in the morning. That’s the best I could do to not bring them more harm. At least they were safe now.

“Who will answer our call?” Karim continued, looking at the map.

Uruk frowned.

“Not our call, hers.”

They fell silent, and I could feel them looking at me, but I didn’t meet their gaze.

“Let’s get some sleep, it is late”, Karim said.

I stood up and left before any of them could ask to talk with me in private. I didn’t need to hear exactly how much of a mess I had made.

My chamber was as I had left it, and I slumped down on the bed, but with everything that had happened, it just felt wrong. I couldn’t wait until the morning, I had to leave now. I got up and started to pack my bag. It wasn’t much, and it didn’t take long until I was ready. I would be fine, I told myself. It wasn’t the first time I left a job, after all.

I walked over to the door, then halted before taking the aegis from my neck and leaving it on the bed. I didn’t need it any longer…

No one stopped me as I passed through the castle, and the guards at the gate let me out without any questions. Even if they recognised me, it didn’t matter. I walked through the quiet town and sat down at the fountain on a small square and washed my face with the cold water. I needed a job. Even though I still had the necklace the King had given me, I didn’t want to sell it until I had to. So, what then..?

I took a sip of water and looked up at the sky. It was almost dawn. The memory of Selene sleeping next to me crept up, and I pushed it away and got up, watching my reflection in the water. How silly I looked in these clothes. I almost smiled, but shook my head and slipped into a side alley to change into the tunic Uruk had given me. When I came back, looking at my reflection once more, I felt better. Yeah, I looked as barbaric as I expected.

Barbaric… I suddenly remembered Altea telling me I looked like a caravan guard. Hm, why not? I shrugged. It sounded better than being a janitor. I headed towards the harbour, guessing it would be a good place to ask around. In the worst-case scenario, I could do some physical labour until I found something better.

Despite the early hour, the harbour was busy, and the people were shouting and running to and fro. Fear and anger hung in the air, and everyone seemed too busy to pay me any attention. War, just like home. I shrugged. It was always the same thing, the rich starting battles that the poor had to pay for. I looked around and then suddenly froze as the realisation dawned on me. It was my fault. They did it because of me. The harbour was bustling because of the King’s order. I had done it to… save Selene, and the others… Altea…

I slumped against the wall of a warehouse, watching the people pass by. What had I done? I shouldn’t have come to this world. At home, at least my mistakes didn’t affect anyone but here… I suddenly heard someone calling my name, and I instinctively looked in the direction of the voice.

It was Selene, making her way through the crowd.

I looked around, trying to find a place to hide, but it was too late. She saw me standing by the warehouse and rushed over.

“Rina.. What are you doing? Why..?”

I glared at her.

“I just destroyed all your plans, so let me just save you from the rest of my mess!”

She glanced at me, taken aback by my anger, and then reached out a hand, but I shoved it away.

“Rina, you didn’t destroy our plans. We shouldn’t have spoken like that. You… did the right thing.”

I ignored her. Why should I care? So they realised they needed me… It was too late for that. I didn’t need to create more mess than I’d already done.

“Rina… I am sorry,” she whispered and looked at me. “Come back, we will find a way. I…”

She reached out her hand again. I glanced at it. It was tempting... It really was, but… I looked around at all the chaos I’d created and shook my head.

“No”

She followed my gaze and sighed.

“Rina… You made your choice. You cannot escape the price.”

I frowned.

“Watch me.”

“You will only make it worse.”

I looked at her, and our eyes met. She must have noticed my hesitation because she continued,

“If you leave, our alliance will fall apart and nothing will protect them… If you stay…”

She looked at the sun rising on the horizon.

“We still have a chance.”

I watched the busy harbour… The people didn’t deserve it… It was my fault, not theirs, that had led to this. I sighed. Anger still burned in me, fuelled by Selene’s closeness. It was so tempting to reach out, but no..

“Fine,” I said, looking at her coldly. “But I will do it for them, not for you”

I turned my head not to see the tears in her eyes and started to walk back to the castle. We walked in silence, and the moment we entered the castle, I headed for my chamber and collapsed on the bed. I was asleep before I had time to think about what I had done.