Is It Even a Game Anymore?

Tensei was having a hard time calming down, and after seeing that raid boss spawn, I couldn't blame her. That thing was an absolute monster, and we only saw it from a distance.

So to try and lift some spirits, Rose took charge and ordered some food for Tensei and let her take a rest at a room in the inn.

“Bu-but…” Tensei said as she looked at the food tray in front of her. “Is this a distraction so you guys can run away?”

Why did she sound like she had experience with that sort of thing? Rose and I never said anything about running.

-No, you little dork (◕‿↼) Just go ahead and eat as much as you like. You need it so you can stay positive and strong. Let Ray and I do the worrying about that mean old raid boss.-

Tensei didn't exactly ‘need’ to eat, since the game didn't have a hunger mechanic, but the NPC's just kind of did it anyways when they felt like it.

-Right, Ray?-

“Huh…?” I stood there with a confused expression as Tensei's wide eyes looked at me for validation. “Y-yeah. Sure thing.”

“Okay…” Tensei said softly as she started nibbling on her meal in bed. “I'm sorry, guys.”

-You have nothing to be sorry about :) But if you really feel bad, then your punishment is to relax.-

Tensei smirked and giggled and really started chowing down. Then Rose forced me out of the room and down the hall toward a window. It just happened to be facing the mountain raid.

-Ray, how do we chat between just you and me?-

There was a setting for party chat, local chat, and world chat, but nobody ever implemented a personal chat function for their own character. Why would anyone do that?

Or so I thought. There actually was a private chat setting that only a player's character could see. Strange, but alright. I assumed she didn't want Tensei to find out what she was saying.

“So, what's going on, hon?”

-First off, please be patient with Teny-chan. You might not realize it yet, but she’s not just some computer program without feelings. She's an actual child.-

What was she talking about? I was treating Tensei just fine. And she might have looked and acted like a kid, but at the end of the day she was just coding we put together to act that way. Not that that fact made her any less special to me or anyone at the studio.

“What are you getting at?” I asked.

-Seriously? Let me spell it out. You suck with kids!-

Rose was getting upset. I probably should have seen this coming the moment she wanted to speak alone.

“I'm not mistreating her. I care about Tensei too, but she has to be strong for the mission ‘she’ dragged ‘me’ into.”

Why did I say it aggressive like that? It sounded like I was mad at her for getting me into this mess…

Before this raid boss, before I almost died, for a short while I thought this was going to be a bit fun. I thought maybe this was going to be a little fantasy adventure Rose and I could charm our grandchildren with and they’d just brush me off as a senile coot. But if I didn’t escape the game to begin with, there weren't going to be any descendants for me. This place had some real big threats and it was getting worse all of the time. A potential death-loop wasn’t nearly as bad as being deleted by my own creation.

And I couldn’t help but shift my blame on Tensei inadvertently. I didn’t hate her, but she certainly was the reason I was here, and maybe that did bother me.

-Try to think about it like this. Tensei is a kid, and what are kids supposed to do when they get scared?-

“Run around and scream loudly?”

-They go to an adult. Darn it, Ray!-

“Why are you getting mad at me now? This isn’t my fault. I wasn’t the one who chose to come here, you know.”

-But if you had the choice and that little girl was begging for your help to stop that virus, would you still be here?-

I pictured those green bug eyes full of tears, pleading for me to help her save the world. It didn’t matter the request or how much danger was involved, because my heart couldn’t just ignore that.

But my brain was telling me now that she and this world was just a bunch of 1's and 0's, and that my life was very much in danger. I had to think about coming back home to Rose long before I gave my life for this virtual mess. Even if the game was never completed, living meant I had infinitely more chances to create something better in the future.

“But, Rose. This is just a video game,” I said, trying to keep a logical frame of mind for my sanity.

-Not to her. This is the world you made for her to live in, and she believes we are the only ones who can save it-

“Do you want me to die for this world?” I argued. “Can you imagine how much I'm risking being here right now, all for one video game character who, for some reason, became sentient?!”

-IF YOU DIE IT’S MY FAULT SO DON’T BLAME HER!-

Why would she say something like that? Rose wasn't the one who put me here, and she wasn’t trying to kill me either. And honestly, Tensei wasn't either. She was just doing what she had to in order to survive. She needed a player, like we made her to.

But what about me? Was I altruistic enough to see this through, even with all the risks? What if I wanted to escape the responsibility?

Huh... Maybe I was thinking about running.

-brb-

“Wait, Rose…”

She didn’t respond. She must have stepped away to cool off.

Meanwhile, I saw a particular little fairy angel peeking out from behind her obviously open door. When she realized I was looking right at her, she hid behind it, but I could still see her arm sticking out.

I sighed, then decided maybe it was time to have a talk with her.

“Tensei, I see you there…”

🌹🎮🌹

There I was, crouching into the corner of my husband's man cave, flooding the room with tears because I had to admit a terrible fact of the weekend.

My husband's life was in my hands.

He wasn't a toy to be played with and replaced, or a vessel to be strung along on a tiring adventure full of respawns. This was a man. My man, and everything I did meant life or death for him.

If he died in the game, would he die in real life too?!

There wasn’t any excuse. The controller was in my hands, so everything he did was something I forced him to do. I really needed to be careful and take this seriously.

I had to keep him safe and play this right!

Was I good enough though? Could I figure out an RPG in time? I've never played a game like this before, and the stakes were high.

Ray almost died once already, and he was saved by luck. I was such a dits for not paying better attention! Gah!

Even though I'd been an absolute wreck since I realized that, I had to be the one to put up a strong front. The computer screen between us was the perfect excuse for me to hide my fears, my anxieties, all those things so they could look at me and believe I was strong enough for both of them.

“Girl, you need to get yourself together…”

I stood up and lightly smacked my tear stained cheeks.

“I need a cupcake.”

There was a reason the first thing I had Tensei do when she was stressed was eat. Worrying on an empty stomach wasn't going to help anyone. Plus, all those extra calories got burned off from the stress.

That's what mom always said. And she somehow never steered me wrong. I ended up with a nice guy, a decent job and a pretty face thanks to her hard work.

“Rosealina, you'll never get anywhere if you don't work hard and think smart!”

Work… I needed to work hard to make up for how much I sucked at video games. Ray always picked me to playtest, but I couldn't figure out why when I was, like, the worst player possible for it.

Anyways, he did want me to make that call to his work. Maybe his friend Paul could help us get some crazy cool items to fight that monster with, and I needed an excuse to step away from the computer for a little while.

🌹🎮🌹

“Hi, I'm looking for a Paul Dunhan…” I said into the phone. “Mind patching me through? He works with my husband.”

“Hi, uhmm…” uttered the lady on the other end. There was some paper shuffling before she answered. “What’s your husband's name?”

“Raymond Roberts,” I said clear and proud. “He's kinda’ the coolest guy in the studio, so you probably know him.”

The lady on the other end snickered.

“Ahh! Raymond. Yeah, he works upstairs. You must be Rose. And as for Paul…” There was more paper shuffling. “Mmm… Here we are! Wait… This can't be right.”

I didn’t like that change in tone.

“Excuse me?” I held the phone a little tighter.

“Well, it says Paul hasn't been in the office for a month now. That's odd…”

The people at that studio wouldn't vacation this late in the game, right? That would be so dumb.

“Maybe he's just stuck in his office and forgot to sign in?” I suggested.

“Maybe, but he wouldn't have gone a whole month without…” she stopped talking. “Hang on, let me see if I can call him.”

Some seriously cheesy music started playing in my ears when she put me on hold. It was like elevator jazz, but if it was played into a Zbox headset. Uhg… So cheesy!

“I'm sorry,” said the woman in a panic. “I can't get in touch with him at the moment. But I'll have him call back if I do.”

What the heck? This really didn't sound right. There's no way he was missing for a whole month and nobody noticed. But if that was the case, we were on our own.

“Darn it…” I leaned against the door frame. “Alright, thank you very much.”

“Of course! M-bye.”

“Ugh…” I put my cell down to whine. “This suuuucks! Guess we don't get any sick gear to fight with yet. Laaaaame!”

I think Ray only had starter crap, so he was boned if he got into a fight with just about anything. I mean, he did just get some new clothes that looked pretty sweet, but that monster probably wasn't after a sharp looking meal.

If only we had that billion damage thing going during the fight, we could just one shot the monster. Like, wouldn’t that be great? He wouldn't need better items. But Ray 'fixed' that, so…

Wait… This beautiful lady has a brilliant idea! The answer was super obvious. Why didn’t we think about it before? Good job, Rose! I'm such a pretty genius!