Both Sadness and Appreciation

“So… aren’t you going to Lona to comfort her?” Rana asks, his gaze fixed on the setting sun outside window. The hues of orange and pink deepen as the horizon stretches endlessly before us. “The stars are going to be visible tonight. Loads of them.” He glances over at me, his tone light but with an edge of curiosity. “I expected you to sprint to her side by now, wailing about her greatness with all the dramatic flair you can muster. You’re unpredictable sometimes.”

I don’t look up from my notebook, the scratch of my pen filling the air. My hand moves steadily, words pouring onto the page with deliberate precision. “Not now,” I reply, my voice calm.

“Oh? That’s new,” Rana remarks, leaning back in his chair with a quirked brow.

“It’s not because I don’t want to,” I add, glancing up briefly. “Trust me, I do want to rush to her side, cry like a total simp, and pour out my heart about how amazing she is. She’s worth every ounce of admiration.”

Rana lets out a soft chuckle, his shoulders shaking as he shakes his head. I can’t help but let a small smile creep onto my face in response. “But that’s not what she needs right now. I’ve learned enough to know when my presence would help… and when it would get in the way.”

“Oh?” His curiosity sharpens.

“She doesn’t need me right now,” I say, my grip on the pen tightening as I press it firmly against the paper. “She needs someone who’s closer to her heart, someone she can lean on without hesitation. That person isn’t me -not yet, anyway. My time will come, and when it does…” My voice trails off, my expression hardening as a fierce determination rises within me.

“You’re planning something, aren’t you?” Rana says, an amused grin tugging at his lips.

I nod, my gaze unwavering. “I’m preparing,” I say, my brows furrowing as I focus on the lines of my notebook. “No longer will I stand idly by while fate toys with the lives of these lovely heroines. Their stories… their happiness… it won’t be left to chance anymore.”

Rana sits in silence for a moment, studying me as if seeing something novel. “You really are full of surprises,” he finally says, a low chuckle escaping him.

I return to my writing, a quiet resolve anchoring my every word. The night sky outside grows darker, stars beginning to dot the heavens, and for the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m finally moving in the right direction.

—-------------------------------------------------

Lona's POV

I confessed.

After ten years of holding my feelings close, after countless moments where I almost found the courage but didn’t, I finally told him. Keisuke, my childhood friend, my first love, one of few of my anchors in a world that often felt so chaotic.

He was the one person who never looked at me the way others did. To some, I was just a delinquent. Rough. Unladylike. My hair, too short, my voice, too sharp. But not to Keisuke. He never cared about the things people judged me for. His smile never changed, always kind, always warm, as if he saw something in me that I couldn’t even see myself.

I tried everything to make him notice me differently. Growing my hair out, softening my tone, even pretending to be the kind of girl I thought he might like. But it never worked. Not because he ignored me, but because to him, I was already enough. I was the best version of myself, my own self.

I loved him for that.

And now, here I am, sitting on this cold park bench, staring up at a sky that feels so wide and empty. The sunset is beautiful -orange and pink streaks across a pale, endless blue. It feels like the end of something. Maybe it’s the end of my love. Or at least, the end of the part of me that hoped he’d love me back the same way.

The wind brushes against my face, biting at my cheeks. My chest feels tight, but no tears come. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too tired or because I just don’t have any left to cry.

I let out a shaky breath. “Man, I really loved him... really, so much. Too much.” The words slip out of my mouth, carried away by the breeze. I close my eyes and lean back on the bench, letting the cold air wash over me. “But I love this cool air too. A lot. Maybe too much.”

Footsteps crunch against the gravel behind me, and I lower my head to see who it is.

“Lona-nee, you’re here,” Akari says, her voice soft and full of warmth.

“Akari...” I blink in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t come home, and you weren’t answering your phone,” she says, sitting down beside me. She holds up her phone, showing me the string of missed calls.

“Oh... I must’ve left it on silent.”

Akari waves it off with a small smile. “That’s fine. I just thought you might want some company.” She rubs her hands together, blowing on them for warmth. “It’s colder than I thought it would be.”

I frown. “Of course it’s cold. Winter just ended. You should’ve worn something warmer.”

Akari chuckles, but there’s something in her eyes -a faint shadow of sadness she doesn’t want me to see. Only someone who knows her well would notice. She’s always been the kind of person to smile through her own worries, focusing on others instead.

“What is it?” I ask, leaning closer. “Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?!” My voice rises as my chest tightens with worry. “Tell me, Akari. Was it some idiot boys? Or maybe some jealous girl -jealous because you’re cute and smart? A last petty attempt at the end of your middle school? I swear, I’ll–”

“Lona-nee!” Akari presses her hands against my cheeks, forcing me to stop. “I’m fine! Really.”

I blink at her, my anger fizzling out as quickly as it came. “Oh...” I mutter, feeling a little embarrassed. “Okay.”

She smiles at me, but it’s gentler now, as if she’s trying to comfort me instead of the other way around. We sit in silence for a moment, staring at the sky together. The breeze feels colder now, but Akari’s presence is warm.

She’s about to start high school in a few weeks. She might be nervous, but I know she’ll be fine. I’ll be with her as her senpai. I smile slightly, thinking about the future.

“How did your graduation ceremony go?” I say, breaking the silence. “I heard Renyuki was valedictorian. That guy...”

Akari bursts into laughter, the kind that’s so unexpected it takes a moment to register. “S-Sorry, I remembered it. Pftt, haha! S-Sorry.”

My brows raise in curiosity, but I can guess what might have happened considering it’s Renyuki we’re talking about. “It was that bad, huh?”

“No, no.” Akari waves her hand, still chuckling. “His speech started normally, but it ended with how love is something great and academic prowess alone isn’t what defines us. He especially called out how the boys were cruel without any taste and wished for the happiness of all the girls.” As she continues, I can already imagine how he sounded and what the content might’ve been. It makes me both embarrassed and somewhat impressed. “It had both emotional and comedic impact. Even the teachers found it enjoyable and praised him for it.” Then she adds with a laugh, “The boys mostly hated it, of course.”

I laugh too. “That guy... really. He always studies for his exams, does all of his homework, helps whenever someone needs it, works out lately, and still finds time to read shoujo romance or shounen harems. He’s something else.”

“Renyuki-san is an amazing person,” Akari says softly.

I let out a breath. “I’ve come to accept the fact that he’s a good guy, but also a creep at the same time. You praise him too much sometimes, Akari.”

“I don’t think so.” Akari’s voice carries a stern, disapproving tone. “And I know you know that well.”

I’m taken aback by her resistance. “Y-Yeah.”

She’s right. I’m sometimes too harsh on Renyuki without any clear reason. Is it because of my pride? My shoulders slump slightly.

“He’s never judged us, not even once. I’ve never seen him raise his voice to us, and he’s always been welcoming. As our same age and opposite gender, Lona-nee.”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

Akari places her hand on mine, and the warmth rushes through me, contrasting with the cold air around us.

“We have an amazing family. I’ll be grateful to Katsuo-san and Hikaru-san for the rest of my life. I’ll never forget how they welcomed us after Grandpa’s health declined and saw us as their daughters.”

“I couldn’t ask for more,” I add, feeling a slight urge to cry.

“Lona-nee,” Akari says softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “That’s why you’ll be okay.”

I stiffen at her words, turning my face away. “I’m fine,” I reply quickly, but the waver in my voice betrays me.

“That’s not what I meant,” she says. “It’s okay to not be fine right now. But you’ll be fine later.”

“I don’t need a lecture, Akari. And you didn’t need to come all the way out here. I’m fine.”

Her tone sharpens. “You’re not fine, Lona-nee. And you shouldn’t have to pretend to be. Not with me.”

I feel the pit in my stomach grow heavier, and for a moment, I can’t say anything. Akari is strong, stronger than I’ll ever be. How is she like this? How can she be so patient, so kind, when I’m a mess? I’m supposed to be the older sister, the one looking out for her. But instead...

“Lona-nee,” she says again, her voice softening. “You can cry, you know. Crying isn’t a weakness. It’s just a way to let out everything you’ve been holding in, by being strong.”

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat growing unbearable. “Akari...” My voice cracks, and before I know it, the tears are falling. Not just for Keisuke -for everything. For all the times I’ve tried to be strong, for Akari, for Grandpa, for Katsuo-san, Hikaru-san and for Renyuki, our family.

Akari wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. “You’re strong, Lona-nee. Even when you don’t feel like it, you are. But you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

Her words hit me like a wave, and I cry harder, clutching her like a lifeline. The warmth of her embrace feels like home.

After what feels like forever, the tears finally stop, leaving me drained but... lighter. Akari pulls back, smiling at me with that same gentle warmth.

“Let’s go home,” she says, standing up and holding out her hand.

I hesitate for a moment, but then I take it.

“Yeah,” I say, a small smile tugging at my lips. “Let’s go home.”

As we walk back together, I can’t help but think about how blessed I am. Akari, our family, even Renyuki -they’ve all been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve it. I don’t know what I’d do without them.