Towards (death), ahem, adventure

Wait a minute, but where have I seen with similar eye color? It didn't matter; I didn't have much memory for faces anyway. That expression was indeed suspicious, but then again, he hadn't done anything bad to me; he was just helping me, but maybe this desire to help was motivated by something else? I told myself to stop. In my situation, it was probably better to assume worse, not better, but I guess I didn't even want to read malicious intent everywhere. I also needed to cling to the hope that there were good things in this world, like, I don't know, trust or selflessness.

I absolutely had no intention of pursuing this topic further and was about to ask my companion which way he should go to reach the largest gathering of people, but a sudden expression of pain crossed his face, and he jumped to his feet. He gave me a strange look I couldn't quite decipher, as if he regretted having to leave me, but all he could say was that he'd be back, as he had done so many times that night. I didn't have time to react in any way; I just stared at the spot where he'd finally vanished from my sight. I waited for a while but decided that, deprived of company but not the warmth of a fire, I could still doze off. And I didn't regret it; I finally had the opportunity to sleep off years of corporate exploitation, I repeat, years.

Although I felt a certain sadness that Renet was gone, it stemmed more from regret that he couldn't be with me all the time, not from the fact that he'd said goodbye without a word. I had a strange feeling that whatever was driving him was a profoundly important reason, one he couldn't just brush aside. I knew he'd be back, from where, I have no idea, but I wasn't worried about that. Besides, I woke up to the noise he was making as he cleaned up my campsite, as I watched him do it with a certain awkwardness. This man was as intriguing as he was charming in his own way. Finally, he realized I was shamelessly watching him and that I was even getting ready to help and accepted it gratefully. I, on the other hand, felt it was quite natural.

"I didn't mean to wake you." He smiled apologetically. I suspected he had it down to perfection, because surely no one could possibly not forgive him. And I admit, I blushed, but only slightly. "At least not so directly."

"No problem," I replied, stretching as I took in everything around me. This time, I had to face the gaze focused on me. "I should be getting ready to leave anyway."

I was packing a blanket when Renet thrust a round flask of sorts under my nose, and I could see he was struggling with his thoughts, looking from me to his overflowing backpack, and then he began to search through it. Of course, I thanked him for the gift, but I wasn't about to say goodbye yet, so I waited patiently for him to finally make a decision. I wasn't in a hurry anyway, and I still needed some guidance on where to go. I'd rather avoid getting lost, considering I'd still be using crutches for a while.

"Renet." He looked at me, confused. "I don't want to bother you, but in the meantime, could you just give me a hint as to which direction I should go to reach the people? Something like the most important city? The capital?"

"I'll go with you," he announced with a decisiveness that surprised me. "I was just checking to make sure I'd taken everything we might need."

"Are you sure about that? Can you afford it?"

He nodded, though his expression was dull, and I remained in a state of shock. Why? He'd already done enough for me, allowed me to survive comfortably in this strange world, and didn't ask uncomfortable questions. It would be nice to have a traveling companion, one who absolutely fits your type, but not when you're on your first spy mission!

I panicked a bit because it meant spending a huge amount of time with him, getting to know him, but also lying from the very beginning. I'd prefer to avoid that; it immediately ruins any acquaintance or relationship. Maybe I didn't know this from personal experience, but I'd already gathered enough life wisdom and listened to so many alcohol-induced confessions that I knew how much truth lay in that simple statement. I couldn't refuse him and assure him I'd be fine, because I was sure this solo trip was quite a struggle. I needed help; whether I should take it was another matter. Unfortunately, I'd proven to myself once again that I wasn't cut out to be a hero; I was selfish and had decided to prioritize my own comfort.

"I'll never repay you." I smiled and briskly set off to catch up with him.

I couldn't keep up with him; the guilt gnawed at me too much. After all, I'd intended to use him to make my stay here easier, and he'd shown me so much kindness. At least I could get a better look at him. Renet definitely wasn't the muscular type, but he didn't seem skinny either; he'd fit right in between. It's just a shame he hunched over slightly, as he was a bit taller than me. His clothes caught my eye; compared to mine, which already had some flaws, they looked even worse. I felt like the backpack he'd brought with him contained all his belongings, and yet he still shared them with me. How could I have been such a vile person? I'd died, found myself in another world, and instead of becoming the best version of myself, the worst was coming out!

He was alert, and he knew the way, and thanks to that, for the first time here, I felt truly safe. I caught up with him, wanting to talk before these unpleasant feelings forced me into actions or words I might later regret. This effort cost me a lot; I hadn't yet mastered the use of crutches.

"Why do you live so close to that wall?" I returned to the question that had already slightly interested me.

Renet spent a long time searching for the right words, which sometimes irritated me because I had too much time to analyze each other's words. It wasn't that the conversation wasn't flowing; it was that it wasn't flowing smoothly enough for me to drown out my guilt.

"I don't spend much time with people." He glanced at me now and then, gauging my reactions. "It's peaceful by the wall. I have a small house there and everything I need. There's a stream nearby, the forest always provides something to eat, and I can focus on painting." He admitted his passion in a trembling tone, as if he expected me to hate him for it.

"I haven't seen any of your work, but I believe you have talent." I smiled politely; I've always admired artists. "Does it bring you any money?"

"I don't need much. I just go to the village nearby, where a kind and very honest old merchant lives. He sells my paintings, and thanks to that, I have enough money for materials, although he's trying to convince me to start working with his daughter, as I plan to give her the business soon."

He probably wasn't thrilled by the prospect. I saw how he really wasn't used to intense socialization, because he was terrified by the number of words he spoke at once and the ease with which he shared such details with me. The slight redness in his cheeks instantly made him even more charming. I wanted to ask what this girl was like, what was behind his aversion to humans, and most importantly, if he wasn't afraid of the Dragonids, since he was so close to that wall, but instead, Renet lunged at me and pinned me to the ground.