A Sleepless Night

Chloe and Mark headed up to Chloe’s apartment on the 5th floor. After entering the apartment, Mark had placed his belongings by the door, and proceeded with Chloe to the rest of the apartment.

“Mark, do you mind waiting out here? I need to change my clothes,” Chloe asked as she stood at the door of her room. Her posture, which was so joyous and expressive before, seemed exhausted and tired.

“Sure, I-I don’t mind waiting,” Mark answered as he took off his nametag and placed it on a small dining table.

“Thanks,” Chloe returned softly while closing the door behind her.

“Has it always felt this empty here?” Mark thought as he took a look around the apartment. It seemed a little more spacious this time around as opposed to other times he used to be here with his siblings.

Mark could see little flashbacks of Damian and Alexa sitting on the couch with Chloe, laughing and eating popcorn while watching a cartoon on the television. With a heavy sigh, Mark took a seat on the couch. Feeling the weight of everything that had happened in the past few hours, Mark put his face into his hands and sobbed softly.

“Why?” Mark thought to himself as he took off his glasses to wipe away the tears that began to accumulate on his face.

When he put his glasses back on, just as the blurriness turned clear, Mark saw Alexa staring at him with a lost and scared expression. “M-Mark, where’s mommy and daddy?” she cried as she seemed to plead to her brother.

Mark whiplashed harshly into the couch as his breathing became faster and faster. “Alexa! They’re gone. They aren’t coming back anymore, ” Mark answered as his voice started out in a scream of terror and finished in a somber tone. “I’m so sorry,” he let out quietly.

Chloe, wearing a panda bear animal onesie, opened her door after hearing Mark scream. “Mark, what’s wrong?” she asked in a high voice as she hurried over to him on the couch.

Chloe watched as Mark seemed to be talking to himself. “Mark…Mark! Please snap out of it!” she cried out as she grabbed a hold of his face tightly.

After Chloe grabbed a hold of his face, his eyes seemed to focus from the hallucination he had seen before.

“Alexa?” he asked as he wiped the tears from his face. “Oh, it’s you Chloe. I’m sorry, the onesie made me think of Alexa,” he said softly.

“She actually wears the onesie I bought for her?” Chloe asked as she let go of his face.

“It’s her favorite thing to wear when she’s scared,” Mark answered softly as he sat back up on the couch. “Hey, didn’t I buy that for you?” he continued as he pulled the hood from the onesie over her head. Whether it was an attempt to lighten the mood or just to put himself at ease, Mark let out a slight chuckle.

“Yeah, you did buy this one for me. Then Alexa wanted to try and steal it for herself one day you three were here, so I bought one for her. It makes me really happy to know that she actually wears it,” Chloe answered softly as she took a seat next to Mark.

“It makes me happy to know that you actually still wear this,” Mark responded softly.

As Mark hung his head low, Chloe scooted closer to him and held him close to her. Mark’s head rest lightly on her shoulders, and her head rested lightly on his.

“Do you believe what Damian said? Do you believe that it’s your fault?” Chloe asked while running her hands through his hair softly.

A few minutes earlier, Mai, at home, was washing her face in her bathroom. The bathroom was empty, aside from a single toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste inside of a toothbrush holder.

“I wonder how they’re feeling,” Mai thought silently to herself as she turned off the lights and headed to her bedroom.

Her bedroom was simple. Not much was in her room other than a desktop computer, a small office chair, a small peppermint plant, her phone and small picture frame on her nightstand, as well as an assortment of teddy bears that were set up on the pillows of her bed.

Mai went and plugged in a small nightlight into her room, and then turned off the room’s lights to get ready for bed. After she methodically moved the teddy bears off of her pillows, she laid down on her bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin and over her plain white pajamas.

“Goodnight dad,” she said softly as she reached over to the picture frame and held it in her hands, staring into the picture with a loving, yet sad gaze.

In the picture, her father was standing beside her, holding her hand. He was a lean man with an average muscular build. On the back of his right arm, the arm that reached out to Mai, was a signal transmitter used to transmit blood sugar levels. Mai, about 8-years-old there, was holding a sunflower in her right hand, and they both had smiles on their faces.

“I wish you were here,” she said softly as she put a hand to the picture frame. After a moment of silence, she placed the frame back on her nightstand.

Mai turned around and held onto her teddy bears tightly as she closed her eyes.

10 Minutes Later…

Mai began having a nightmare, or rather, began remembering something she tried to repress for most of her life.

“Hey dad, can we go to the park later today? There’s going to be fireworks tonight!” young Mai asked as she tugged on the hem of her dad’s shirt. Mai’s hair was whiter then as opposed to the light pink it is now.

“Of course we can. Anything for you,” her father said as he carried her on his shoulders.

“Boom! Boom!” Mai flashed as she opened up her hands attempting to make firework sounds with her mouth.

The scene in her mind then changed to nighttime as she was laying with her father in the middle of a field in the park surrounded by many other families. In between the two of them was a small bookbag with small snacks. Present Mai was tossing and turning in her bed while her dream continued on.

“Look dad, the fireworks are starting!” young Mai exclaimed as she started pointing up into the night sky.

“Yeah, it looks really nice,” her father said softly as he averted his gaze towards his daughter with a warm smile on his face.

As the fireworks continued going off, Mai started to clap and cheer with excitement. When she turned around towards her dad, she noticed something was wrong with him.

“D-Dad?” she asked softly as she leaned closer to her father.

The fireworks continued going off in the sky, each one getting louder and louder as the colors became more and more vibrant.

“Dad! Hey, wake up! Are you alright!” Mai asked as her voice grew from a soft speaking voice to a cry of panic.

Mai then began shaking her dad vigorously. “Dad! Please wake up! Is it your sugar?” she asked frantically as she continued to shake him.

“Somebody, help me!!” Mai called out, but it was no use. Everyone was enthralled by the dazzling lights and loud sounds of the fireworks going off.

“I-In an emergency, take the red rescue shot and use it on the leg,” Mai thought quickly as she grabbed a red emergency kit shot from the bookbag containing the snacks.

“This has to work!” she cried out as she frantically tried to open the case and assemble the shot. “Dad, please wake up!” she pleaded as she quickly lifted up her father’s shorts slightly and injected him with the shot.

Present Mai continued to toss and turn on her bed. Beads of sweat started to build on her forehead as she seemed to mumble to herself.

“Why isn’t anyone helping me!” Mai cried out as the fireworks neared its grand finale.

The scene in her nightmare suddenly changed, and Mai found herself in an elevator. The scene looked very familiar to her.

“The hospital elevator?” Mai thought as she looked at herself. She looked at herself and what she was wearing. It was the same clothes she wore just hours prior. Then, Mai noticed the two figures standing next to her.

“Mark? Chloe? What’s going on?” Mai thought as she tried to reach out towards them. They continued out of the elevator without even looking back at Mai.

She continued to follow them towards the room. As she got deeper into the hallways, the smells of plastic gloves and antiseptics worked their way up Mai’s nostrils, burning them with bitter smells of the past. Her movements slowed and stuttered as she got closer to the room that Chloe and Mark were waiting by. As she got to the room, the door slowly creaked open.

“D-Dad?” she asked nervously as she stared at her unconscious father sleeping on a hospital bed. There were many different tubes and monitors hooked up to him on the bed.

As Mai looked around the room, she realized that something was off. “Mark, Chloe…w-where did you go?” she asked softly as she started shaking.

When Mai turned back to her father, she was lower to the ground, and younger once again.

“Calm down Sasaki, please,” she said softly to herself as brought her arms closer to her, almost as if hugging herself.

Her heartbeat started to pulsate louder and louder in her head as her breathing became chaotic and sporadic. As the sounds continued to pound into her eardrums, the sound of a flatline pierced through her mind like a dagger, and she looked back towards her father.

“Please, wake up!!” she cried out one final time, as Mai’s body shot upright from her bed, ending her nightmare.

*     *     *

After taking a few moments to catch her breath, she wiped off the sweat on her forehead.

“I didn’t sleep too long. I wonder if Chloe is awake,” she thought softly as she grabbed her phone. Even though she just had a nightmare, her body returned to a calm and collected state.

“I can’t sleep. How about you?”

After Mai sent the message, she looked at her phone again. After about a minute of pondering, she sent Mark a message:

“Hello Mark, this is Mai. If you ever need to talk, don’t hesitate to ask. Again, thank you for your help today.”

After sending the messages, she turned over in bed, and buried her face into her teddy bears.

Meanwhile, back to Chloe and Mark’s previous conversation.

“Do you believe what Damian said? Do you believe that it’s your fault?” Chloe asked while running her hands through his hair softly.

“I do believe it’s my fault. Damian’s right, of course he is. If I didn’t make such a big deal about tonight, maybe my family could’ve been safe. Maybe I would be at work right now like nothing ever happened,” Mark answered quietly.

“What do you mean by that? Why is Damian right?” Chloe asked as she held Mark closer to her.

“I don’t know. For so long, it has always been about what Damian was doing, or what Alexa was doing. It was never really about what I was doing. Except when it comes to you. You somehow manage to join us in everyone’s events when you can. How do you manage us?” Mark asked softly, trying to keep the mood light.

“I wouldn’t consider it managing you guys. I really like spending time with all of you. I enjoy most moments with you three. There are times when Damian gets angry or upset, or you get down and moody, but we’ve been close for so long. We have to stick together through these moments, and that means you and your brother. He can’t blame you for what happened. It isn’t your fault Mark,” Chloe spoke whilst keeping her grip on Mark tight.

“You really mean that?” Mark asked as he looked back at her. There was a hint of relief in his voice that he couldn’t hide.

“Of course. You always blame yourself for things out of your control. I worry about you Mark. That’s why I took you here tonight instead of home. I don’t want you going to an empty house alone. I,” Chloe’s voice trailed off.

“You thought I would do something stupid?” Mark asked sincerely.

Chloe didn’t know how exactly to answer, so she offered a slight nod. “You always keep things to yourself. Sometimes you open up to me, but most times, you just brush it off and focus on someone else’s problems,” she finally responded.

“What can I say? I would rather help others through their problems than have people worry about me,” Mark answered softly.

“You can’t keep pushing your own problems away. I know that you’re hurting right now, so why won’t you let me see that?” Chloe asked as she let go of Mark to face him directly. “Why won’t you tell me what you’re thinking?”

As Mark struggled to come up with a valid argument, both Chloe and Mark’s phone vibrated at around the same time.

“Saved by Mai,” Chloe remarked as she pulled out her phone.

“How did you know?” Mark asked as he pulled out his phone to look at the message. “How did you know Mai texted me?”

“Really? I meant she texted me. I had no idea she messaged you as well,” Chloe said as she looked down at her phone.

“I can’t sleep, how about you?”

After reading this text from Mai, Chloe replied with: “I can’t sleep either. If you want to come over, I can pick you up. Mark is also here. I didn’t want him to be alone tonight.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine, I think. I’ll try to sleep again. Have a safe night.”

“Mai, what’s wrong?” Chloe thought as she put her phone away in her pocket.

Meanwhile, this was Mai and Mark’s message conversation:

“Hello Mark, this is Mai. If you ever need to talk, don’t hesitate to ask. Again, thank you for your help today.”

“Hey Mai. I wanted to say, I think you were right about what you said about me and my brother. I think it is because of Chloe,” Mark replied.

“You should tell her how you feel. Maybe that will help her understand what you feel.”

“I don’t know if I can do it,” Mark answered back.

”Sometimes, we just have to go for it. Like when you played for me on stage. Anyways, sorry, but I’m going to try and sleep again. Goodnight Mark.”

“I can’t read you at all Mai,” Mark thought as he also put his phone in his pocket.

As they put their phones in their pockets simultaneously, Chloe looked back up at Mark. “I’m sorry Mark, what were we talking about again?”

“Did she really forget? I could change the conversation. No, I shouldn’t.” Mark thought as he took a heavy sigh. “You wanted to know why I wouldn’t tell you what’s on my mind. That’s the last thing we talked about,” Mark said honestly.

“Oh, right. I hope I didn’t sound pushy. It’s just always hard to read you Mark. Your world could be crumbling, and yet, you would rather put together some random person’s world than your own. Why?” Chloe asked with a sense of desperation in her voice.

“I don’t know. I’ve always felt like everyone else was more important than me. I don’t know when it started, but I have felt as if I’m not worth it to be cared for,” Mark answered candidly as he stared down and away from Chloe’s face.

“No!” Chloe screamed as the muscles in her face all tensed up, creating an intense expression that Mark had never seen before. “Don’t say that!”

“Chloe, why are you upset? What did I say?” Mark asked sheepishly as he could barely keep his gaze up to hers.

“Don’t you ever say that you aren’t worth being cared for!” Chloe yelled as her hands balled into a fist.

“Chloe, where is this coming from?” Mark questioned hesitantly as his uneasiness started to take control of him.

“It upsets me when I don’t know what’s going on with you. Sure, I don’t agree with Damian screaming at you in the hospital room, but at least I know what he’s feeling. I know inside you’re hurting, but you won’t tell me the truth. Why?” Chloe asked as tears started to fall down her face. “Don’t you see that it hurts me when you keep everything inside?” She continued as threw herself into Mark’s chest.

“I’m very sorry Chloe, but you wouldn’t like that answer. I…I don’t want you to hurt more, but if I tell you, it might do more damage,” Mark answered softly as he slowly brought his hand to her head.

“What do you mean?” she asked him without looking up to him.

Mark took a heavy breath in, as if questioning his decision. After releasing his breath, he pulled her head off of him to look at her. The hood was pulled back behind her head, and tears had already begun falling from the bottom of her face.

“It’s because of you Chloe.”

“Wh-“ Chloe managed to muster as her voice seemed to cut itself off.

“I’ve always cared about you. Always. Damian did too, and he still does. I don’t know when he’ll tell you if he didn’t tell you already, but I know that he feels very passionate about you. You wouldn’t believe how many people he’s turned down just because he loves you so much,” Mark said softly and honestly.

“I’ve heard the little mentions and pieces of conversations that my family would tell him. They were always so supportive of him. I don’t think I ever mattered as much as he did,” Mark continued.

Chloe sat there with tears still, but a silent expression on her face.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long how I’ve felt, but I’ve always felt that in doing so, I would make the relationship between me and my brother strain. You are the mold that holds me and Damian together. Since my family always supported Damian, I felt like I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve that care,” Mark said passionately as he started to feel tears well up behind his glasses. “If all things went well for him, then maybe I would be happy, but that just makes everything bittersweet.”

“I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want to throw weight on top of you, but I’m tired of being forced to sit on the sidelines. So yes, because of you Chloe, I’ve always been hurting inside,” Mark finished.

“Because of me,” Chloe thought chaotically as her head began to race with the thoughts of Mark, Damian, their family, and the accident.

“I’m sorry Chloe. I don’t know what I should be doing. They’re gone. I don’t know what I can do. I’ve always been weak. I just break down and cry in private when something happens, meanwhile Damian doesn’t mind everyone seeing how emotional he gets,” Mark said as tears poured from behind his glasses.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Chloe responded as she brought Mark close to her. “I care about you a lot. Both of you. You’ve already lost so much. It would absolutely break me if you both lost each other.”

“Especially if it was because of me…” Chloe thought as she held Mark in her arms. After a few moments of silent sobbing from Mark, he eventually fell asleep.

Chloe got up slowly, trying not to wake up Mark, and gently laid him to rest on the couch. After grabbing his glasses off of his face and placing them on the small dining room table in her apartment, she went into her closet, grabbed a blanket, and covered him with it.

Afterwards, she headed to her bed. Once she laid down, the weight of the day had finally gotten to her, and she started sobbing into her pillow.

“Why would you both do that?” Chloe thought sadly as she continued to cry through the night.