Our First Real Client - Terrifying the Carriage Taxi Driver!

We became the fourth most popular hangout spot after the Adventurer’s Guild! Adventure, bathe in our spring, and return to the city!

The coal miners and adventurers loved to refresh here. It was especially beautiful to take a healing dip at night with all the stars above reflected in my waters. However, as soon as the laborers were gone, it wasn’t as loud.

For a lowbie spa, Rin had been right to say that we were quite far from the city. So, we commissioned a new road leading to this spa, accomplished with more advanced payments of season passes.

The local townsfolk all had free entry and pleasure by now. By doing this, we saved ourselves from the debt of a small country!

At the same time, this meant we weren’t making any Gold in profits. I was running out of ways to pay for Rin!

And just look at the remarkable way she worked!

She was behind a new marble counter at the entrance of the public pool. Her heels tacked on the cave stone floor. She wore the dress that I extorted her into wearing to boost our sales. Every customer who trudged in mud stopped when they saw her, Rin, the infamously serious star-Guild worker, now dressed head to toe in crisp mixed office lady and maid lace, frilly apron, and little cap pinned crookedly atop her straight blonde hair.

Meanwhile, there was one Angel who remained in bliss-land, floating on my waters.

I splashed water at her.

“You! Quit messing around!”

“What did I do?!”

“It’s what you’re not doing! You’re supposed to be flying to all lands, promoting our spa!”

“Take thisss!!”

“Nooo! Don’t claim me, don’t claim meee!”

There was no way Sharlotte could take over Rin’s role!! That would spell the end for our spa and any chances of getting my body back!!

What were we even doing? We couldn’t keep this up!

Ding!

Not a new [Ability] of mine, not me losing all my freedoms to my business partner, but a ring from a bell at the front counter!

OOOOOOH?!

Given Sharlotte’s hobby for shiny and cute things, I had her set it up, the New Customer Bell! And Rin just rang!

As a mole-hole cornerstone experience in the middle of a ravine, there were only two kinds of new clientele who could show up – the mega-rich or the rare traveler!

“Huh? Neither?”

An unexpected face!

A young monster, not from this city!

Rin had been the first to look over the marble counter. She did a double-take, then stiffened her prim posture so hard her cap nearly fell off.

Standing awkwardly in the spa entrance, hoof scraping the clean rocky floor, was a massive Centaur. His horse-half was shaggy with forest dust, and his human-half was broad-shouldered and sun-browned, with braided brown hair and pointy ears. He carried a driver’s cloak strapped around his flank and a pouch that definitely had more than twenty Gold coins clinking inside.

He coughed, clearing his throat with an embarrassed whinny. “Uh… this the Sacred Spa?” he asked in a surprisingly polite baritone.

Rin’s perfect receptionist mask nearly slipped an inch. “Yes. Welcome to Kazuki Sacred Spa. How may I help you, sir?”

I nearly splashed out of my main pool. A monster customer! An actual non-human! Money! Abilities! This meant the possibilities of saving Rin and new powers!

He lowered his big head, all bashful like a shy schoolboy. “Name’s Borkas. Forest Courier. Been haulin’ wagons from village to village for years. One of my fares told me you lot clean off the dust better than a waterfall.” He gave a hopeful flick of his tufted tail. “Is it true? Even for folks like me?”

At the main pool, the human miners, adventurers, and their families hushed among themselves. “Monsters were allowed in? They are, it’s just that this is the first one. Other than Sharlotte, yeah? Can these sacred waters that soothe our bodies really handle forest musk?”

“Of course, our spa can, you hypocrites! It’s our selling point!”

“Of course, sir Borkas! We welcome all paying guests. One soak is 8 Gems, minimum purchase 10 Gems.”

“You don’t take coin?”

Rin gestured sweetly at the pastel sign. “No Gold inside, only Gems. But they’re easily purchased at this counter.”

He counted out 10 Gold clumsily with a big, callused hand, nudging it across the marble with a hoof that left a scuff mark Rin’s eyes twitched at, and she handed him a cute cloth bag of Gems, which he held like it might bite him.

Humans in the main pool stared as he clopped past, steaming towels draped over one muscled shoulder. A few grimaced. One kid actually pointed. But Borkas ignored them. He found a smaller side-pool – a colder, unheated one I was worried I’d never fill – and sank his horse half and upper body into its ice-bath embrace.

He sighed. Loudly. So loudly the humans in the main pool flinched. “By the Tree, that’s the stuff! Feels like the gentle snow after a winter storm…”

Sharlotte peeked over, her wings half-damp. “Kazuki, do horses prefer colder water?”

“Looks that way. This is great research! And he’s not a horse. He’s a client, Ability, and money. Cha-ching! And if we play this right, a way out of our current predicament of paying Rin! [Ability: Healing Flow Level 5]! He likes it! [Ability: Healing Flow Level 10]!”

At first, the humans didn’t approach. But Borkas didn’t care. He closed his eyes, soaking up the side-pool like it was made for him alone. He even hummed a folksy forest tune, low and deep, like the trees sky-high were singing back.

The whispers softened. An older coal miner shuffled over and dipped his legs in Borkas’s pool. He actually recognized this Centaur from the carriage taxi rides he offered, helping to carry heavy cargo to the capital.

Then a kid’s dad waded in too, embarrassed to look him in the eye but unable to resist the conversation. He had been wondering how best to transport his crops.

By midday, half the humans were drifting between the main pool and Borkas’s new corner, dipping near him and having a jolly time.

Barrier broken, I gloated. We’ll welcome humans, monsters, demon-kin, and anyone with Gold. We’ll be unstoppable!

When Borkas finally stood to exit, water cascading off his powerful flanks, he gave Rin a polite bow.

“That was the best soak I’ve had in a while. You got a Forest Druid to help design this place, lass?”

“No, that’s the work of our trusty humans,” I bragged through Rin’s grin.

“Who?”

“Over here! So? How about returning for another dip?”

“Ah, forget it, it looks like I’m hearing things…”

“You’re not!!” I lifted my waters like jetted geysers. “I’m right here!”

“Th-The Dungeon Core is conscious?!”

“Of course, I am! It’s all the cause’ of this Angel, right here! She’s a pain in the ass, but, well, she’s also responsible for your stay today!”

Sharlotte chilled on top of my geyser. “Will you come back next time?”

Borkas stroked his beard thoughtfully. “Next time? Heck, I’ll come every week! I run a forest courier line. Dryads, Gnomes, Beastfolk – they all need baths too. Most ain’t welcome in the city’s bathhouses. But if you’ll have us, I’ll bring ‘em. I’ll tell every muddy hoof and claw about your pools.”

Rin was astounded. “You’d bring more customers for us?”

“Ah, I won’t work for you. I’ve been an independent contractor all my life. But I can tell this spot has a lot of potential with customers needing rides.” Borkas puffed out his broad chest. “For a cut, if you hire my transportation, I’ll sell ‘em a round trip. Monster-friendly taxi, at your service.”

“Perfect! We’re expanding our reach without lifting a finger!”

How amazing! Luck finally came through with a really good, amazing first monster customer!! I laughed so hard my ripples made Sharlotte squeal as she bobbed back in my wave-pool. “Rin, draft him a contract!”

Rin scribbled furiously, quill scratching against the paper. She stamped the contract with a polite bow, all smiles and grace.

“Hey, Borkas! Next time you come back, bring twenty more monster friends! We’ll give them a special premium entry fee. Double the Gems exchange rate! No, triple!”

“Boo! Hey, that’s unfair!!” Some miners heckled.

“Shut up! You all get in here for free! And this is a limited-time only event!”

“Here, if you need me to explain the terms and conditions…” Rin bowed.

“Rin, bow deeper! Get on your knees and thank him properly for his patronage!”

Rin’s pretty receptionist smile twitched. “Ah? Boss!!”

“You have no idea how important Borkas is! We’re business partners, right? We show our best hospitality! He’s our Golden Goose, er, Horse, er, Centaur! Smile wider! Flash that cute cap! If you don’t, I’ll dock your pay!”

She snapped, cheeks flaming. “Absolutely not!”

“Do it! If you resist, I’ll flip that whole desk and let everyone see exactly what you get up to while working!”

Rin’s face burned bright red. She dropped the polite mask, grabbed the edge of her frilly apron like she might strangle me with it, and hissed through her teeth. “Keep running your mouth, Dungeon Core. I’ll dump cleaner in your sacred pool!”

“I dare you! If you ruin my spring, I ruin your–”

Splash!

I hurled a rogue jet of mineral water, but hit Sharlotte. She squealed, wings flapping wildly like a wet chicken. “Stooop! I secured our customer! I deserve my break! I’m on breakkk!”

Meanwhile, Borkas stood frozen, big eyes darting between Rin, snarling like a cornered cat, and Sharlotte flailing her feathers all over our spa. “Uh… on second thought, maybe this arrangement–”

“Don’t move, Borkas!” I boomed. “Soak up this atmosphere! This is premium service! Where else can you bathe and watch a maid fight an Angel?! You want more?”

“I have some riders who already–!”

“Quadruple the Gems!” I cackled. “No, ten times! Monsters are rich! They have nowhere else to bathe! We’ll milk them dry, dry, dry!”

Borkas’s eyes twitched. “Y’know what, I’ll think about it! Gotta go! Got a big forest to run. Lots of mud to, uh, track. Yeah!”

“Wait, Borkas! Where are you going? Come back!”

Too late. He thundered off, hooves clopping wet tracks down my sparkling marble arch. A single, soggy towel dropped off his flank and landed on Rin’s head.

I gurgled. “Did we… overdo it?”

Sharlotte kicked a bucket against my altar. “Yes, you did. Idiot Core.”

Rin peeled the towel off her face. “Good job, Boss. You scared away our one paying monster.”

Don’t pocket the towel.

“Did we open up too fast? Like, as in, personality?”

Just as Rin and Sharlotte were about to strangle me for real, the New Customer Bell dinged again.

Borkas was back, mane still soggy, a forest gnome perched on his broad back, and a shy Beastkin mother and cub trailing behind him.

“Brought my regulars. I don’t know how you get on with your friends…” He gave Rin a sheepish salute. “But don’t worry. Us monsters, we’ve got nowhere else to soak our hooves. Just don’t make the maid bow to me again.”

Exclusivity and first visit satisfaction! These have saved our hides on our first major slip-up!! Bless the gods!

And just like that, our side-pools filled up with furry ears, cloven hooves, and coin pouches jingling like music.

Monster clientele secured!

Gold problem solved!

And one thing’s for sure. If we keep this up, we’ll unite interspecies and achieve my sweet goal of getting my human body back!

Kazuki Sacred Spa: All Species Welcome!