Slimes and Approval

With Borkas hauling in forest monsters like furry sacks of Gold, our Sacred Spa finally hummed with clinks of Gems and giggling chatter – Monster kids splashing, Gnomes fussing about their beards, and Beastfolk wagging wet tails everywhere.

Rin no longer flinched at hooves on the new stone marble.

Sharlotte no longer screamed every time a Harpy pecked at her wings.

But success was the same as hubris in the business world, and hubris attracted trouble like a free buffet attracted freeloaders!

Trouble arrived in the form of six translucent blobs plopping into our sacred spring with the enthusiasm of children let loose in a candy shop.

These jelly Monsters – the Slimes I thought would show up as our first guests – had finally oozed in. Naturally, they showed up now, when we were the busiest.

It was absolute chaos. I let Rin and Sharlotte handle this one.

A green one blinked at me and giggled. Then, it launched off the edge of the cliff wall, cannonballing into the biggest bath with a PLOP! that drenched three Beastfolk.

It skipped the line.

It skipped the payment.

“OH NO, YOU DON’T!! [Holy Geyser Energy Drain Flow Level 10]!!”

FOOOOM! The little troublemaker rocketed straight out like a slimy firework, disappearing into the clouds with a squeal.

We had rules here! It wasn’t my fault the troublemaker shot up to the moon with such a weak spell!

New [Ability: Slime Sunscreen]!

New [Ability: Slime Ball]!

I was basking in this sweet, sweet success and prospects. If this keeps up, maybe, just maybe, I could get enough unique Abilities from clients and Gold to buy enough holy relics to resurrect into my body again! If not, invite the Demon Lord for a dip!

How sweet!

How gooey. There were a whole bunch of these new clients.

Rin had dropped her guest ledger. “Slimes?! We don’t have a Slime bath policy yet!”

A blue one burbled up beside Sharlotte and nuzzled her feathers. “Can we stay for free? We bring so much fun! We clean everything, floors, tubs, fur, wings, backs, everything!”

“Kazuki, get them off!! They’re warm! And sticky!”

The purple one bopped its gooey head. “We heard this is the only place that lets Monsters soak without a mop chasing us out!”

I bubbled thoughtfully. “Wait. Free child labor? Mobile cleaning crew? And a cute gimmick? We charge for organic slime exfoliation? Genius!”

“You want to exploit Slimes now?”

“Not exploit! Partner with! I’ll call it an internship!”

Sharlotte, pinned under three affectionate blobs, wept. “Kazuki, they won’t let go–! There’s no way we can sell this as soap! It smells bad!!”

“Boss! Get them off– they’re– gooey– AAHH–!”

I laughed, my Core bobbing like a balloon on a fountain spout. “This is perfect! Free spa polish! And I get new Abilities every squish! Gahahahaha!”

Rin staggered out from behind the counter, dripping from her hair to her knees, half-laughing, half-screaming, ledger clutched like a useless shield.

“Boss– YOU FIX THIS!!”

She stomped one goo foot. The Slimes blorped down her apron.

“Rin! You’re sparkling! A perfect Slime scrub mascot! We’ll call it the ‘Rin Goo Special!’ Gahahaha! Wait, you really do smell! Don’t come near me!”

“This is– ugh– ridiculous! I’m not your– your plaything! Have more tact!”

She lunged at me, but before she could smack my Core and more slime all over me–

“Rin, have you decided to–” Rin’s father walked through the entrance.

The bright sunlight beaming off his Guild badge and his clipboard cracking in half, he exhaled one word, flat as a guillotine blade.

“Audit.”

Sharlotte took flight, off and away. Even the Slimes fled into nearby empty wooden barrels.

Following a wash down and full of stern energy, he sat at my altar with Rin at our side.

“Service work instead of official clerical work. Mixing with interspecies Monsters, scandalous and suspicious. No hierarchy or pension plan – just you, a shady Dungeon Core and his business partner Angel. You’re corrupting my daughter’s good work ethic.”

“Inspector, with all due respect–”

“There is none.” He snapped, eyes narrowing. “There is no ‘respect’ for a Dungeon Core that lures a good Guild clerk into playing waitress for interspecies layabouts. She should be cataloging Chimera fangs, not bowing to Slimes.”

“Chimera… Please don’t say that. We allow interspecies peace here. So the Slimes who invaded are invited too. How quickly and effectively a business can recover from disaster is a testament to the quality of our workers, but also our clients! Look at how satisfied they all are! It’s your daughter who made this possible!!”

“I am proud that she has proven her high worth.”

“She adores this place! You’d take this comforting job away from her?!”

“Therein lies the problem, Dungeon Core. I’ll overlook everything, but that, I won’t. Relaxation doesn’t belong in the workplace.”

Sharlotte sneezed.

“Work is something you do because you have to. It stings, and you let it sting. I’m impressed and all, but this isn’t work for my daughter. My opinion still remains. You’re a bad influence.”

“Work should be painful? Not fun?”

“Work, fun? That’s the most childish thing I’ve ever heard. How old are you?”

Was that why he chose the healing foot bath yesterday, not because of the Gold cost, but because it was the most cut-and-dry, quick option?

It suddenly started making sense.

“Have you ever worked before this? Or are you a trust-fund Dungeon Core?”

Right. I’d worked part-time before. It was after I used my parents’ bank card to summon SSR characters in my gacha game. I ran into trouble and had to work the solo night shift at the convenience store to pay it off.

I hated that job. I had less energy during the day to connect with friends online, and mainly drunkards would walk in.

I’ve worked before and hated it. So why? Why am I having so much fun here?

No, it doesn’t matter why. The fact is, I am having fun. Human body achieved or not, I’m having fun. I’ve found something very rare, and someone very rare!! And these facts are all the more reasons why I can’t lose her!!

“Not having fun? Work should sting? That self-sacrificing-for-no-greater-good is the reason why so many people back home are working for black companies. They can’t quit, they blindside themselves into thinking they’re contributing, when in fact, each paper signed is a step deeper into their grave. They should be laughing, having fun! Work should be enjoyable!! If they don’t like it, they should feel free to run toward their future, struggle, but at the very least, they’re struggling toward a future they desire and not one as a corporate slave!! Look at Rin! Has she ever said anything about considering quitting?! As her boss, I care dearly for her! I love dressing her up! I love extorting her!! I can compromise on everything about my wrongs! But what is that outdated idea, work should sting?! Rin is enjoying herself, together with me! At the very minimum, why can't your daughter’s happiness be your own?!”

“Who do you think you are, talking like a human!”

This man was an auditor. Nearly unshakable. Not one of modern-day Japan, but a father of the Middle Ages!

That was it. His daughter’s happiness was his own.

We would push through to him!

“I didn’t want to say this, but you leave me no choice. This may be difficult to believe, everyone, but I used to be a human.”

“There’s no way…” A similar wave passed through all my clients.

“Yes, before being bound to this Dungeon Core, I was human. Our Spa is healing you, but it’s also helping me work toward resurrecting in my original body. I try my best to not be biased, but witness, the first person I hired is a human. I’m ashamed! Fighting for interspecies peace, I have still shown favoritism! Like a true business owner!”

“I see.”

“Before being cursed by the Demon Lord into this form, I was a traveling adventurer who met Rin at the Guild. So, you see, there was a very special reason, above all, why I chose your daughter. Rin has professed her love for me, and I indulged her deep, deep needs!”

“What?!”

“Boss!”

“I got her pregnant.”

“Boss!!”

“A… A grandchild? This does not need to be raised with the King. I finally understand your circumstances!” A tear rolled down Rin's Father's cheek. “You should’ve said so from the start!”

“Quit it with these lies! I can’t stand it! I don’t want you to lie for me!! But everything else Boss says is true! I love working here, way more than the Guild! If staying means scrubbing floors all night or calling him ‘Master Dummy Core,’ I’ll do it! So there!!”

Rin’s Father finally understood. He was proud of his daughter for standing firm and telling the truth. “Stubbornness runs in our family, it appears.”

He checked and circled off some boxes against his clipboard and prepared to depart, sunlight following him.

“Dungeon Core Kazuki. We have a lot to discuss. Our ideals seem far apart, but it’s not like I hate yours. Because I see more optimism there. For now, the Kazuki Sacred Spa has passed the kingdom’s audit. I will watch from afar that this institution remains pure. And grandchild or not, tell me more about it later, Rin.”

“There is none!”

“One has to, eventually! Please, I wanna hold my grandchildren! Choice of working is something I’ll give up to you, but continuing my legacy isn’t! You will marry whether you want to or not!”

Truly, the most Medieval Age kind of hopeless fatherly thought.

“And what a good, honest Human you have found! Wealthy at heart, and this spring could keep you from falling ill to any plague!”

“I hope that I only ever become the best brand of modern-day despicable.”

“Don’t be from the start.” Rin jabbed.

Rin’s Father trotted away.

“Fun at work, huh?” He thought to himself as the trees whizzed by. “How many jobs did I have before I found this one? Rin, I see you have chosen wisely. Your boyfriend is questionable, but times have changed. If your boss is willing to do anything for you, it can’t be all that bad.”

“Rin! For inviting such a troublesome character as our auditor, you’ll have a month of unpaid labor!”

“Please have mercy, Boss! I’ll call you Master, so please have mercy!”

“Gahahahaha!”

“Masterrr!”

“I’m so happy everything was resolved without me. If I didn’t know your backstory, I’d totally see you as lovers.”

“No way!”

“Master and I, no way!”