Eldritch Space Hunter Five: V - Secret Mission 🤫 🚀

Kenichi had to look at a map to figure out where the admiral's office was. It was up, or, more appropriately, toward the center of the station.

He climbed ladders until the gravity was low enough such that all he had to do was push himself off the ground and guide himself with the rails. He floated through the hallway near the center, using the regularly placed handholds to get around. It was only a matter of time before he found the door to the Admiral's office. He knocked on the door, pushing himself back in the process. Then he tried again, gripping a handhold with his free hand and knocking again.

“Come in,” said the voice from within.

The door slid open. Kenichi pushed himself inside.

“Seltzer,” said the admiral, his back to the door. He was facing the opposite wall, his bare feet gripping onto the carpet with retractable claws. He examined the portraits on the wall, a row of previous admirals.

Kenichi looked at the admiral. He was a tall, sleek, black cat that stood on two legs. His uniform had an accommodation to let his tail out, and it flicked idly in the low gravity. He turned to face Kenichi, and gave a toothy smile. He wore a bicorne, and his uniform was decorated with all sorts of insignia that boggled Kenichi's mind. It had golden ropes and colored pins, and buttons with rocket ships on them. He wore a pair of mirrored sunglasses, and it made him an even more imposing figure.

“Sir?” said Kenichi, saluting. He started to spin in the low gravity. He scrambled to catch a wall to steady himself.

“At ease, soldier,” said Katje. “It's nice to see you in person.” He grabbed something off the desk. It was a folder that had some sort of static field that let it stay on the desk when placed there. He handed it to Kenichi. “This is for your eyes only,” he said. “Don't tell anybody, especially not that Nekoid.” He made a harumph sound.

“Yes, sir,” said Kenichi. He opened the folder. The front page said OPERATION CALAMARI. He turned the page. On the next page was a large bomb that looked like a chubby rocketship. The caption read DEEP FRY. Looking at the picture made him uncomfortable. “Is this what I think it is?” Kenichi said.

The Felixian smiled. “It's worse than anything you can imagine,” he said. He walked over, still gripping the floor with his cat feet, and closed the folder. “And I need the best of the best to execute it.”

“But, sir, I'm a Space Hunter. I need to stay with the others so we can achieve Final Form.”

Katje grinned. “You'll think of something,” he said. He took the folder away. “You'll find it in the red asteroid. While we're distracting the star children with a surprise attack, you'll be paying old Asturoth a visit. I trust you can perform your duties.”

Kenichi's heart beat faster. He swallowed the lump in his throat. It felt wrong to use warheads against an enemy, even an eldritch space horror like Asturoth. “Are you absolutely sure it has to be done this way?” he said, his voice shaking.

The Felixian nodded.

Kenichi let out a slow breath. “Then that's what I'll do.”

The admiral nodded. “Good,” he said. “I'll give you a signal when it's time to start. You can't miss the asteroid.”

Kenichi's palms were sweaty.

“You're dismissed,” said Katje.

Kenichi turned and pulled himself through the door.

“Oh, and Seltzer,” said the admiral, “It is a one-way ticket, so make sure everything's in order before you take off.”

“Yes, sir,” Kenichi said weakly.

Numb, he floated down the hallway and pulled himself toward the main level. Quiet, he walked down the gritty hallways. The image of DEEP FRY lingered in his mind's eye. It felt wrong. It felt terrible. It felt…

“You're dead,” Bunny's voice echoed in his head. “You're dead. You're dead. You're dead.”

He'd already died twice. Maybe that's just what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to go from world to world, sacrificing himself to take down the dark lord. He wiped his sweaty hand on his jumpsuit, his head still swimming.

“You've died enough times,” he told himself. “You can do it once more. I'm sure everything will be just fine.”

“Oh, you poor dear,” a voice said behind him. He turned. Elana stood there, eyes obscured behind glasses reflecting the glare from the overhead lights. “Do you need to tell Dr. Vollstrand all about it?”

He shrugged. “I'm not allowed to talk about it with anybody,” he said.

“Haven't you heard of doctor-patient confidentiality?” she said.

“I don't think I can even do that.”

“Come on,” she said, grabbing him by the hand. It was still a bit sweaty, but she just gripped it tighter. “Come to my office.”

She pulled him down the hallway toward an office. A sign on the door said “The Doctor is Out.” She flipped it over to a side that said, “The Doctor is In.” Somebody had written on this side of the sign with a marker, adding the word “SANE” at the end.

“Door open,” she said, ignoring the sign's new text. The door opened, and she pulled Kenichi inside after her. Inside, it looked like an ordinary therapist's office. The light was dim and calming music played. Elana pointed to a chaise longue. “Please, make yourself comfortable.” She went to her desk to get a tablet and a stylus. “Unfortuntely, I can't seem to find all my puppets, so we'll just have to do without for now.”

Kenichi climbed onto the chair and leaned back.

“Where would you like to start?”

Kenichi took a deep breath. “Well, I've died a few times these past few days. Once I was hit by a bookmobile, and the other time, I was pulled into some magma by a dying dark lord. Each time, I've had to get past a giant spider that wants to eat me.”

Elana furrowed her brow and took some notes. “Dreams about dying indicate that you're looking for a change, and dreams about spiders indicate that you're feeling trapped. Though spiders also represent feminine energy, but I don't see how that has anything to do with your current situation.”

“They don't feel like dreams,” Kenichi said. “I mean, before I was here, I was fighting alongside the heroes of my favorite fantasy novel, and before that, I was getting ready for college and trying to get the girl I liked to notice me. And she's been everywhere I've shown up.” He closed his eyes. “Why are you here, Marumi?” he whispered.

Elana scribbled some more notes. “You realize that it sounds like you're delusional. But since I'm a psychologist and not a psychiatrist, I can't prescribe any medication, so we'll just have to talk it out. It seems like you're seeing the girl you like everywhere because you have unresolved emotions toward her. You feel trapped in your own uncertainty, like you're a fly trapped in a web, and you're looking for a drastic change, a new lif, so to speak. What I would recommend is that you tell her how you feel. That might keep these strange dreams from continuing to happen.”

Kenichi looked at the ceiling. His mind went to the mission before him. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, counted to ten, let it out. Then he opened his eyes. Elana's face was above his, upside-down.

“I'm ready whenever you are,” she said. “Tell me how you really feel.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.

“Um,” Kenichi said. He pushed himself off the chaise longue and onto the floor, scooting away from Elana's predatory gaze. “I have some things to wrap up,” he said. “Thanks for the insight, it's been really helpful.”

Elana's eyes flashed with anger behind her glasses when she saw him backing away toward the door. Then her Aegis beeped, and she pretty much stopped whatever it was she was intent on doing.

Kenichi let himself out. He took a look toward the sign on the door. He flipped it over. During the time they had been there, someone had added “of her mind” to the other side of the sign. He contemplated flipping it back around, but eventually, just let it dangle.

He made his way through the halls, back toward Hasenrausch. As he walked he considered what Elana had said. Sure, she had totally misunderstood him, thinking his past lives were just dreams, but she was right about one thing. He did want to tell Marumi how he felt. Even if it wasn't the right Marumi, at least he could use it as practice. He kicked aside a discarded ball of paper that was lying in the hallway. Hasenrausch was right in front of him. It was the moment of truth. He swallowed another lump in his throat, his heart thudding in his chest. He stepped into the bar.

“Kenichi!” Marumi said, smiling. “I'm so glad you're here!”

Kenichi's heart skipped. He smiled, walking over to the bar. “Oh?” he said, resting his hands on the bartop.

“I'm going to unveil my new dish soon for the lunch crowd. I'm so excited.”

Kenichi didn't really hear any of this. His head was afloat. Marumi was smiling. At him! Everything seemed to glow. Everything felt new and awesome. Even C4N was looking shinier and better put together.

“I'm so glad,” he said, as it felt like the right thing to say at the moment. His palms were sweaty again, and he slipped a little from leaning on the bartop. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure,” she said, her green eyes beaming, reflecting the smile already on her face. “But first, let me start serving lunch.”

Kenichi nodded. His chest was the percussion section in an orchestra during a performance of Ravel's Boléro. He watched as C4N carried a tray laden with covered bowls after Marumi as she floated from table to table, depositing her special dish to each of the hungry diners. She made each one wait until they were all served before letting anybody lift the cover. To Kenichi, she drifted like an angel. He let out a sigh. He was going to tell her. She was walking back to the bar. He stood up straight, cleared his throat.

“All right, everybody!” she said. “Enjoy!”

One by one, the crew of the station lifted the lids from their bowls.

Marumi leaned against the bar next to Kenichi. “What is it you wanted to tell me?” she said.

Kenichi opened his mouth to say something.

“What in the five hells is this?”

“It looks disgusting!”

“I'm not eating it.”

“Check please!”

Marumi's face looked like an Edvard Munch painting.

Each and every patron was too distraught by the meal's resemblance to their Eldritch foe that none even dared try it. Some looked at Marumi with a questioning glance, their eyes asking Is this some kind of joke? Others just got up and filed out. Someone muttered something about hitting the vending machine, and someone else said something about having lost his appetite.

“Well,” Kenichi said, once the hubbub had died down, and the bar was empty save him, Marumi, and C4N. “What I wanted to say was--”

Marumi held up her hand to silence Kenichi. Her gaze was daggers. “Kenichi Chozen,” she said, her voice a low whisper. “You told me it was good. You told me you liked it.” She slammed her hand on the bartop. “I believed you. I staked my reputation on it. I should have realized you're just the kind of person who will eat anything and be happy.” She stepped right up to him, poking a finger into his chest. “Now, because of you, everybody thinks I'm a terrible cook. Nobody will want to eat here.” She picked up the bowl of nuts. “They probably won't even want these.” She almost threw it, but stopped herself, setting the bowl back down onto the bartop with a shaking hand. Then she started crying. She said something about her hopes and dreams, and something about being ruined, but it was hard to understand between her sobbing.

Kenichi reached out a hand to comfort her, but she swatted it away. Her eyes were red-rimmed and furious.

“I never want to see you again. Do you understand?”

“Wait!” said Kenichi, holding up his hands.

Then C4N stepped up behind him, picked him up, and ejected him into the dirty hallway. “Nothing personal,” he said.

Kenichi sat there on the floor and watched as Marumi stood up from the bar, wiped the tears from her eyes, and looked out across the sea of untouched bowls of her first and last meal served at Hasenrausch. The door slid shut and the CLOSED sign lit up on the wall beside it.

Then, the station's alarm began to wail.