Sota's First Date

The promised day had finally arrived. 

By the time Sota was ready to depart, he was already wired. The hangout with Ren coincided with when he'd normally be sleeping, so he had elected to go without. That gave him plenty of time to get ready, though! By 8:00 AM, he had already cleaned the beat-up car, showered, and gotten on his chosen outfit. 

All before his fifth cup of coffee. 

He checked his outfit one more time as his departure grew near. He had chosen to wear a simple hoodie with martial arts pants as his outfit. The martial arts pants were easy to move in, and he always felt more comfortable wearing a sweatshirt. All morning, he had flopped back and forth between this and something a bit more fashionable, but he reminded himself that this wasn't necessarily a date. Maybe something would happen; maybe not, but showing up overdressed would definitely make the situation creepy. 

Before he knew it, it was time. He grabbed the keys, his phone, and his wallet. To avoid his family asking questions, he decided to hop out of the window rather than use the door. He quickly made his way to the car and plugged in the address Ren had given him. The caffeine was making his hands jitter - definitely not the anxiety - and the car almost felt small with how bloated his nerves felt. 

He took a deep breath, rolled down the windows, and headed on his way.

Ren lived about fifteen minutes from Sota. He used that time to get his head in the game as much as possible. He had become pretty good at controlling his anxiety over the years, but he knew his inner demons were going to be the real challenge today. If things went well and his feelings grew, so would the demons telling him it was shameful. 

--It's fine, let's just get through today. I can handle the demons once everything is over, but I have to push them off for today...

--Just One More Day...

Those were the thoughts he had on his way over to Ren's house. He kept optimistic, focusing on the serene drive through the woods that led to his destination. He wanted today to go well, and so he allowed himself to have hope one more time.

***

[Sota]: I'm here! Come out whenever you're set to go.

With that, Sota sat back and waited. The last time he had gotten to this stage, he had gotten ghosted at a coffee shop. Even if this was more about him figuring out his emotions rather than a full-on date, he couldn't help but ask 'what if' questions. What if she didn't come out? What if she texted him back suddenly changing her mind? What if a parent or grandparent comes out and threatens him for hanging out with a sixteen-year-old?

Before he could get to deep into it, however, she appeared. 

She had dressed up a little bit, but not anything over-the-top. They were nicer clothes and it looked like she coordinated it intentionally. She hadn't gone 'all out' though, which made sense for a friendly hangout. 

It was a bit weird for Sota. She was attractive, for sure, but she was also young. He could see that in the way she moved and carried herself, as well as some of her facial features still being 'teenager' like. It made him a bit uneasy about the whole experience, but physical appearance hadn't had anything to do with it up until now. He saw no reason to let it pervade his thoughts this far in.

"Hey, Ren," Sota greeted as she opened the door, trying not to let his nerves show. 

"Hey, Senpai!"

"You don't have to call me that outside of class," Sota assured her. "Just 'Sota' is fine."

"Oh, okay then! I'll try my best to remember."

Ren got in the car and closed the door... and then a moment of awkward silence passed between them. 

For Sota, it was a lot of nerves. As sad as it sounded, he had never gotten this far before. He knew reminded himself it was just a day to hang out, but she still hadn't ghosted him or canceled last minute. It was one of those 'I didn't think I'd make it this far' moments. 

For Ren, her awkwardness was simply because she had never done this before. In her sixteen years of being alive, she had never actually been given the freedom to go out and spend time with anyone. The only time she was ever allowed to leave the house was to help with chores or go to school. This was unprecedented for her, and she had no idea what was supposed to happen here. 

Eventually, Ren was the one who broke the tension...

"What is this?" she asked. 

Sota followed Ren's gaze. She was looking at the silver chain that was hanging from his rearview mirror. At the bottom was a pendant; the letters "EQ" in stylistic fantasy font. Sota's face grew a bit pale when he saw it; he'd forgotten to take it down. 

"Oh, that?" Sota laughed. "Just something my siblings put there. Sometimes they'll use the car, so they like to decorate it..."

"You're a terrible liar."

Sota's gulp was almost audible as his stomach dropped. In that moment, he remembered Riku's text from the other night. 

[Riku (Queen)]: Have fun, big boy! And don't try to be sly, she'll see right through it and tear you apart! <3

Sota sighed. Honesty it was, then. Hopefully, his nerdiness didn't cause things to crash and burn before the day had even begun. 

"It's the insignia for a game I used to play a lot while I was growing up," he admitted. "It was a big online multiplayer game called Everquest."

"I thought so!" Ren exclaimed. "I love that game!"

Sota almost fell out of the car in surprise. He stared at Ren, while she blissfully took the chain down and began examining it thoroughly.

"You've...played Everquest?"

"Yep! A long time ago, my mother dated someone who was big into games. He had it and used to let us play it from time to time. It was short-lived, but it was a blast when we did play!"

"You don't say..."

 "Yeah, I had a ranger that I loved to play! I wasn't very good at it, but fun nonetheless!"

Sota breathed a sigh of relief. He thought Ren might feel weird about hanging out just being the two of them, but she was her normal talkative self. 

The fact that she was into a game he liked, though, was a huge bonus!

"Well, let's start heading towards some place to grab lunch," Sota suggested. "You can tell me all about in on the way there..."

"Sounds good!"

***

With the conversation having started up in earnest, Sota and Ren both felt a lot more natural about the situation. The nearest larger town was about twenty minutes away, but it flew by in a flash. 

By the time they made it into town, they had decided to go to a Chinese Buffet that was near the center of the main road. They had a lot of variety, and Sota wasn't going to need to break the bank to pay for them to eat. 

"You sure you don't want me to pitch in any?" Ren asked. 

"Don't worry about it," Sota assured her as he paid the entry cost. "I asked you to hang out, right? Besides, what kind of Senpai would I be if I let you pay?"

"I guess so," she laughed. "Thanks, Sota!"

Hearing her say his name made him shiver. Not in a bad way, but she had always referred to him as 'Senpai' because of their relationship in class. That wasn't the current situation, though. She was not interacting with him as the assistant in martial arts class. She was spending time with him as 'Sota'. For someone who had been invisible so long, it was surreal to be acknowledged for who he was, not what he was...

And she seemed to be just as happy and interested in spending time with him, regardless of that fact. 

"Let's get our food and find a good seat," he suggested before his thoughts trailed off too far. 

"Sure thing!"

The two headed into the restaurant. There were several buffet tables lined with different options. They both grabbed a plate, loaded up on their respective items, and then found a seat. There was a window-side booth near the back of the restaurant that wasn't completely isolated, but was still quiet enough that they weren't front-and-center. Not too long after they sat, one of the waitresses brought over waters for them to drink with their meal. 

"I haven't come here in a long time," Ren admitted as she started to dig into the food. 

"It's one of my favorites," Sota admitted. "A lot of food and it's reasonably affordable. It helps a lot when you're typically low on money."

"Oh? Does your work not pay you much, then?"

A reasonable follow-up question, but Sota dreaded it nonetheless. He knew there was a good chance this topic would come up. His instinct was to think about fabricating something - that was oftentimes how he avoided awkwardness in the online dating world. In this situation, though, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not only would she sniff out the lie, but she was a sixteen-year-old high-school girl. 

If he was really going to go this path with someone so young, the least he could do was be transparent. 

"I actually don't work," Sota admitted, fidgeting under the table. "I'll get one-off days of work every now and then, but never anything permanent. I mostly have survived off of graduation money I received back when I left high school."

"I see... Does that mean you're in school doing something else?"

"I left college about a year ago. I will occasionally take an online class, and someday I hope to finish out my computer degree, but it's a slow and steady type of thing..."

Sota waited with bated breath for Ren's response. Any time this came up in conversation, girl or otherwise, it was typically met negatively. Disdain, disapproval, disgust. He was going to be twenty in about a month. While he wasn't expected to have his entire life together, people did expect him to be more than a jobless basement-dweller that hid out in his room all day. 

--Here is comes. The judgment and disappointment...

It never came. 

"That sounds really cool!" Ren exclaimed, still fully engaged in the conversation. "I was thinking about some sort of engineering degree once I'm out of high school, but not entirely sure. They don't do that sort of thing online, though, so maybe I'll have to pick your brain when I get there!"

"Maybe," Sota responded, surprised. 

"Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong...I just wasn't expecting you to respond the way you did. Most people get pretty judgmental when they hear that..."

"Screw them!" Ren blurted out, waving her hand as if to dismiss all of it. "People suck too much to give that kind of credit to. They don't know what's going on in your life, so their thoughts are useless."

Sota was surprised at her sudden curt demeanor. He had not yet experienced Ren's darker thoughts. Their interactions were mostly limited to Ren's high-energy, upbeat side. It was surprising to hear something like that come out of Ren's mouth. 

It was a different side of her, and he appreciated it. 

"I'm not going to argue with that," he chuckled. "People aren't the greatest. If they don't have a use for you, they're pretty quick to toss you aside and leave you to fend for yourself."

"You can say that again..."

It was a dark tone, but the two laughed nonetheless. While the reality may have been grim, they were able to share that grimness with each other. For both of them, it meant the world to have someone to talk to that understood the same viewpoint. 

As the rest of the meal went on, they only fell deeper and deeper into conversation. There was no awkwardness, and there was no forced moments. Even back when he was in school, when Sota would have lunchroom conversations with girls, he always felt like he was climbing Mount Everest. Girls would either give one-word responses, overwhelm him with some crazed ideology, or turn him away altogether. 

This was none of those things, there was no effort to their connection. Even when Sota accidentally knocked his glass over and sent water everywhere, Ren immediately helped out and was supportive. When the waitress repaid him with an empty fortune cookie bag, they laughed it off like it was nothing. 

"Must be a bad omen," Sota chuckled. 

"Who needs omens, anyway?" Ren shrugged it off. "Let them try to ruin our day - we'll show them!"

Regardless of what happened, it just naturally worked. 

--Is this what they mean by 'chemistry'?

Sota's thought lingered momentarily. In the back of his mind, he could feel his demons clawing at him, trying to capture his attention. The idea of having chemistry with this girl was going to gnaw at him when all was said and done. He pushed back the thoughts, determined to stay focused on the date at-hand. 

Fortunately, Ren made it very easy to keep them at bay. 

"So, what's next?" she asked with a smile. 

"Hmmm. We were talking about games earlier. I know this pretty big arcade that's in the next town over. How does that sound?"

"Awesome!" she almost jumped out of her seat in excitement. "Let's do it!"

Her giddiness was palpable. Sota was excited that she seemed to be into the arcade as well, but more notably, he was just happy that she was happy. This person, who had given him a blissful escape from his daily nightmare, needed to be happy. Sota valued her happiness, and it was all the more meaningful because he got to be a part of it.

They finished their meal, grabbed their things, and got back to the car. All the while, continuing to hold conversation and get to know each other better. 

As they pulled out of the parking lot, Sota glanced to one of his mirrors and saw her reflection in it. Just like months ago when they had sparred, her eyes were still transparent. She was smiling, she was alive, and she was happy. Not just happy because she was out in the world, but also because he was there with her. 

It brought Sota one of the most heavenly - and terrifying - realizations. 

--This is no longer a theory. There is something here, and it is very real...