The Witch

June 1, 202X. Planet: Earth  Location: A Developing Country.

Humanity Iteration: 5

Universal Edict: Perfectam Aeternitatem

“Do what is right, or else.” My mother said to me with barely constrained rage. Father nodded along mindlessly, merely an extension of mother’s will.

I could only stare at the enraged giant before me with utter powerlessness. I hated it. People are torn from the empty comfort of oblivion at the whims of two fornicating apes, stuffed into a helpless sack of flesh, thrown out in a revolting spew of blood and screaming, and subject to the domineering whims of said apes with the threat of being abandoned to the caprices of the elements and more fornicating apes outside looming over you. They did not have to say that themselves; the ape’s imaginary friend, or rather some old apes claiming to have the authority of a sky ape, merely have to imply that they must threaten their children with abandonment and the other apes follow. Apes doing whatever they can to prove they are the best in their own little community of apes.

What can a little ape do when it wishes to escape the omnipresent screeching, killing, and filth-flinging?

We imagine ourselves as beings higher than apes.

Humans. What separates apes from humans?

Magic of course!

“Paganism is a sinful act!”

“Mom, it's only a toy!”

“It corrupts your mind, you have disappointed Go-”

With the sound of snapping wood came a flash of light, a burst of heat and falling stone. The next thing I knew my problems were burnt to a crisp. Most of my problems anyway.

Magic really does exist. Without any apes to hold me back, I graduated from novice wizard to apprentice wizard. Instead of merely reading about curses and potions and magic circles from a now destroyed book, I can cast flashier spells. Spells like Fireball (C4)! Poison Gas (Mustard Gas)! Magic Missile (Glock 45)! From where I lived I had a multitude of opportunities to enhance my magic capabilities, to the point that people started talking about a ‘Night Witch’ like they were talking about some serial killer on the loose.

I would go out clad in a tattered dark gown, wizard hat, anti-poison field (Gas Mask), and magic missile staff to ambush some Goblin and Kobold patrols after they killed each other in frequent turf wars. Then I took some back for experimenting and enhancing my powers (restocking my equipment). In this boring modern hellscape of a world, in spite of all of the people who told me nonsense like 'magic does not exist, that is heresy', 'poor thing, you've gone insane', and 'you're a sad little girl using fantasies to cope' I had become the fearsome and alluring witch I always dreamed of being! I may not have any friends, but a witch doesnt need friends, only victims. The ones who told me such nonsense were my first victims.

I became so strong and feared that some of the Goblins and Kobolds (Gangsters) who were fed up with their respective tribes (Gangs) decided to join me, worshiping me and proclaiming me ‘savior of the nation.’ A few speeches about ‘bringing an end to the civil war’, and ‘peace to the nation’ had them salivating over me. It was fun-- though some did take it a little too far when they started asking me what my policies were. Luckily I had some smart Goblins and Kobolds who knew how to run a country and just parroted what they said. I just wanted to practice my magic and live in luxury, not trouble myself with the minutiae of running a country. I'm a witch, not a politician.

Unfortunately, the smart ones started disagreeing on how this hypothetical new nation was supposed to be run, culminating into having no new nation as it was overrun by knights (tanks). With what money I could carry I left my homeland for good. Where did I go?

The kingdom (Developed Country) where the knights came from. Luckily I was prepared for such an outcome, a few bribes and magic missiles to the face, and I managed to blend in. This land was comfy and peaceful, so peaceful in fact that I could not practice my magic as readily lest the knights get uppity. At this point in my life I was kind of over the whole witch phase anyway.

Or so I thought.

As a young(ish) woman studying pyromancy (Pyrotechnics), I had it great. I graduated at the top of my class and got hired by the Kingdom as one of the chief wizards (Scientists), developing new spells and weapons for the king(Dictator? President? Does it matter?)'s army. I pursued my passion and lived a better life than I ever did before. I was showered in wealth, prestige, and most of all, the glory of seeing my creations in action during the Kingdom’s skirmishes. Seeing thousands fall before my creations pleased me to no end. Hearing people cheer my name and speak of me with reverence made me ecstatic. Yet, as pleasurable as it was, I still had this feeling that something was missing.

This void in my heart was compounded by the never-ending barrage of sycophants, leeches, and rivals I had to deal with in the Kingdom’s court. Brushing shoulders with these puffed up, small-minded imbeciles and having to smile and make niceties with them was revolting. They were only concerned with gaining wealth and influence by riding on my coattails, thinking me a small-minded imbecile they could manipulate when it is they who are small-minded. They are stuck in the hamster wheel of wealth within the cage of society trying desperately to become king of the cage. Wealth, fame, influence, military. Their view of power is shallow and insipid. The power that I seek is one that is independent of the whims of other apes, pure and awe-inspiring.

Magic. But what is magic exactly? The crude weapons and technology of the modern era, for all of their terrifying might, are still reliant on production centers and maintenance crews manned by apes. They are prone to disruption, delays, and require coordinating monkeys through either coercion or compensation. A modern soldier, for all of their deadly weaponry, is still an ape.

Magic however, has no such restraints. It comes in many forms ranging from summoning demons, instantly cleaning clothes, dropping meteors from the sky, or changing the flavor of your beverage. It is influenced by the reality of the world it was created by and your will, nothing more. The more you master it, the more untethered you are from other apes. The power is yours alone and cannot be taken from you.

To this end, I funneled resources into creating a private sanctum which I used to study magic and escape from the screeching apes. I tore through ancient texts, destroyed my health by consuming various concoctions, even bashed my head against a wall, all in pursuit of true power. When my absence was being felt in the court, I resigned from my position, finally rid of the court’s constant screeching.

Little did I know that this escapade would cost me my life. While I was inebriated from weeks of consuming various potions and esoteric knowledge for weeks straight with little rest, apes broke into my sanctum and shot me to death. For what reason? I do not know nor care. I was on the verge of a breakthrough and those apes have taken it all away from me!

In that millisecond haze of pain and rage, it all clicked for me. All those years of studying various spells from different cultures and texts, the chaotic mess suddenly became ordered in my mind. It was not that the knowledge suddenly made sense to me, for it was still a jumbled mess of contradictory information. Rather, it was that something in my brain broke and was molded to suit the knowledge. I was an entity made of threads, and in that instant I felt the threads making up my mind unravel and retie itself into a new form.

With a few incomprehensible mutterings spoken at impossible speeds, Flame burst from my pointed finger at my killers, incinerating the walls behind them and letting in a burst of cold air and snow with a loud roar. I brought myself up from my bed and onto my feet, only to realize I do not need to trod upon the ground anymore. I floated above the ground like a puppet on strings, except I was the puppet master. Feeling my wounds being stitched up by strings, I walked out into the cold, looking down upon the gathering of apes from my ruined sanctum, feeling like a volcano ready to erupt.

I did it. I am magic. I do not know how I know that, I just felt as if there was an endless stream of power flowing through me from somewhere that was not of this world. Enough to flip the rotten table of this world of apes for good.

Conveniently, there was a group of test subjects in the courtyard of my sanctum. Part of me yearned to fly out and let out all of my pent-up anger and elation upon the world, but it would be wise to do a bit of pre-workout stretching. Cramps are horrid.

I smiled as I descended upon the apes like an angel from the heavens, ready to smite the wicked.