The Daizo Family

Before you point the finger, you gotta remember we all do stupid things when we’re younger. Even two years can make a difference. I’d say I definitely have more self-control now than two years ago. And you gotta remember: nobody was hurt in this incident. Was it a mistake to violate this societal taboo? Definitely. But that’s just what it is: a taboo.

You’ve done it. Your parents have done it. But when I do it in a butler cafe, I’m branded a public menace!

For those who don’t know me from tabloid headlines, you might recognize my pen name: M-sensei. I wrote such works as “My Husband is Having an Affair With Another Guy and I Wanna Join In!” or “Pretty Boy Prison” or “The Young Actor Who’ll Do ANYTHING to be a Star”. At age 18, I had taken the BL, Yaoi, and doujin worlds by storm with my works. When I sat at that convention desk with all my books sold out, that’s when I knew I would become the queen of the doujin world.

Unfortunately, these dreams were stopped by a very unfortunate lapse in judgment. See, for my 19th birthday, my friends took me to a nice little butler cafe (anyone who’s been to Ikebukuro knows what I’m talking about). While I’m sipping on my tea, I’m getting really into it. I usually prefer my 2D boys, but damn, these guys looked good in costume.

A cute butler in glasses walked right to our table and practically whispered in my ear: “Madame, what else can I get you?” My imagination started going wild, and I began to lose control of myself. And that’s when—well, you know what happened.

Like I said before, absolutely no one was hurt. But immediately after, I’m in the back of a squad car in handcuffs. My family is visiting me in the station, and my mother and little brother Keiji are crying their eyes out. And shortly after, instead of “prodigy doujin artist”, the media starts calling me “dangerous pervert” and “The Felonious Fujoshi”.

My lawyer was a schmuck, and the judge was an absolute hardass. One whole year. That’s what I got for a moment of indiscretion at a butler cafe. There have been people who’ve done worse and got off with a lighter sentence.

Anyways, prison was a complete pain in the ass. All I could do was write down ideas and do basic pencil sketches. So you can imagine my relief when they finally let me out.

“Daizo,” shouted a guard one morning, “wake up! You’re getting out today.”

“What about my art stuff and sketches?” I said. “I can’t leave without those.”

“Yeah. I’ll get them for you in a second. Here they are.”

“Thanks. You’ve always been fair with me over the last year.”

“Well, you’re a nice, agreeable girl. It wasn’t hard. Just stay out of trouble once you get back out there. Anyways, your dad is outside with a car. Goodbye, Miyuki. And good luck out there. I love your work.”

“Goodbye.”

When my dad and brother caught sight of me in the prison parking lot, they immediately ran to me.

“Miyuki!”

“Papa!”

We hug, and he pats me on the back. I’ve always looked up to my dad. His job as an erotic novelist is what inspired me to start doing doujins. When I was younger, he always hid his stuff from me, but when I inevitably found out about his writing (by purchasing one of his novels at a bookstore), he didn’t stop me from reading it or following in his path.

“Sis!” yelled Keiji as he ran up to me.

“Keiji!”

He jumped to hug me, and I picked him up.

While I was always my dad’s favorite, Keiji was mom’s favorite. Mom, an obnoxiously traditional Japanese woman, “fixed” Keiji to compensate for my “failures” as a daughter. Ever since he was a baby, Keiji wore a cute little kimono on his mother’s insistence. He eventually embraced this when he started learning about the Tokugawa period in school. Now, he’s a full-on samurai geek.

“How’s school going,” I asked.

“I’m getting perfect scores,” Keiji answers. “We’re learning about the Shinsengumi. It’s so exciting!”

I give him a thumbs up in approval.

“Now, Miyuki,” said my dad, “let’s hurry back home. We bought some of your favorite karaage to celebrate you getting out of prison. Let’s get home before it’s cold.”

As we drove home, Keiji gave us a whole lecture on the formation of the Shinsengumi, sound effects and all. Another brilliant idea for a samurai yaoi creeps into my head. But there was one thing I was dreading when I got home: my mother.

My mother and I never had the best relationship. She came from a highly-traditionalist family who put her into an arranged marriage with my dad. They believed he was a good, old-fashioned novelist. When she found out that my dad was writing erotica and that I was writing BL and yaoi, she became super-cold towards both of us. The only one in her family she had any affection for was Keiji. She always tried to turn Keiji against me, but it never worked.

When we got home, my mom wasn’t there to wait for us. My dad rang the doorbell.

“Junko, Miyuki’s back home!”

My mom opened the door, scowling.

“Hi, mom.”

“Oh, so you’re back...Oh! Keiji! How was the drive, sweetheart!”

“We brought some karaage, mama!”

Feeling a bit hurt, I spoke up.

“Hey, aren’t we forgetting someone. A daughter who recently got released form prison, maybe… A ‘welcome home!’ would be nice.”

“Awwww… Little Miyuki wants a ‘congratulations’ for being a good wittle girl in prison. Some people in this household have standards, young lady.”

“Ok, I get it. No rewards for a stupid mistake. But come on. Can’t a daughter get any unconditional regard from her own mother?”

“Unconditional regard? UNCONDITIONAL REGARD!? You turned me into the laughingstock of my entire circle of friends. It was bad enough when you started drawing those disgusting porno comics—”

“They’re not ‘porno comics’, mom. They’re erotic romance doujins. And they’re not disgusting. They’re art.”

“Whatever. I don’t care about the drawings anymore. It’s what you did last year that I can’t get over. My sister’s daughter Yuuki is married to a brain surgeon, AND MY DAUGHTER GETS ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC INDECENCY!!!”

“Junko,” says my dad, “quiet down.”

I hear a kid say:

“Mommy, what’s the crazy lady yelling about?”

“Nothing, baby. Let’s get back inside.”

“What did I do to deserve this family!?” Mom continued. “Keiji-kun, you’re the only one of my children I have any hope for.”

Keiji jumped with delight.

“Now come in, Miyuki. I have something important to tell you.”

“And after that,” said my dad, “it’s karaage time.”

Mom and I take a seat on opposite ends of the dinner table. We stare awkwardly at each other.

“Miyuko, think about it. If you go on the same path as you’re going now, you’re gonna mess your whole life up. Porno comics, BL, and all your other perversions need to be dealt with. That’s why I have the perfect solution: your father and I have both agreed to send you to all-womens college after you finish up this last year of high school.”

“All-womens college?! That’s for lesbians!”

“Perfect. No men to distract you. And all your stupid doodles will be confiscated by staff.”

“You can’t just force me to stop drawing. That’s my talent. My passion.”

“Do I look like I care? Anyways, we’ll also set you up at a dorm so you won’t be able to keep your drawings here either. And I’ll have more time to spend with my Keiji.”

“Mom, this is bullshit!”

“Watch that mouth, young lady.”

“Is there really nothing I can do to convince you to get off my back?”

“Well, if you manage to find a suitable husband who will financially support you after high school, I see no reason to force you into any college. If that’s the case, it’s up to you and your husband to decide how your little quote-on-quote art career will go. Although, any respectable man in my book would force you to rip up all your porno comics.”

“And what if my doujins make me enough money to pay for my own college? What if that happens?”

“Ha! Fat chance of that ever happening! However if you do somehow become financially independent that way, there’s really nothing we can do to hinder you.”

“Are we done here?” asked Dad. “The Karaage’s getting cold. Wait a minute! What the hell happened to the karaage!?”

We all turn our heads and catch Keiji wiping crumbs off his mouth.

“Oh, sorry, dad! You were all ignoring me so I got hungry. The skin looked so good so I ate all of it. You can have the chicken!”

“My, my!” said Mom. “My Keji is growing a big appetite. He’s sure to become a strong, old-fashioned man.”

I chased him up the stairs.

“Keiji! KEIJI, YOU BRAT!!!”