Aotos Admissions

After all the time I spent being anxious knowing that Sophia actually liked me back I felt elated. We texted each other a couple of times over the weekend and whenever a new message popped up it felt like a heavenly gift. I still didn't sleep too much, but this time I didn't mind at all. When I was on my way to the office I was in high spirits and apparently it showed. When Aoto came to my desk to greet me he did a double take.

„Hey Sato, what happened to you? Is that a smile I see on your face?“ He sounded puzzled.

I thought about what I should give away to him, considering my relationship with Sophia was everything but secured at this point, but I didn't really care that much and really just wanted to tell someone about what happened. If I was going to be Romeo, at least I wanted it to be on my own terms.

„Well, the girl troubles I had are pretty much resolved now.“ was what I decided on.

Aotos face actually lit up and he seemed genuinely surprised.

„For real? What do you mean excactly?“

„We made up and I guess we are a couple now.“ I didn't know whether it was smart to give him more information, but just saying it felt so good I didn't really care.

„What do you mean you guess? What the hell does that mean?“

Aoto seemed exasperated and I couldn't recall him ever being like this before.

„Well, I told her I like her and she told me she likes me as well and we are going on a date next weekend.“

Aoto sank back into the chair he had grabbed from another desk and stared and the ceiling. He didn't say anything for a while and I was actually becoming a bit worried and looked at his face directly and I was taken aback because he looked like he was about to cry.

„You okay Aoto? I've never seen you like this before.“ I said not really knowing how to react.

He kept looking at the ceiling and his voice was weak like I've never heard it before.

„Let's go drink tonight, okay? Just the two of us."

"Okay, let's do it." As I said that Aoto got up and walked away, looking defeated. I truly hadn't seen him act anything like that before. I was thinking about it the whole day and when I finally could finish work for the day I saw Aoto waiting for me at the exit and without saying anything we went to our usual bar. It was called the Rosegarden and for some reason I hadn't made the connection between the name of the establishment and my love interest, but now it seemed very obvious. When Aoto saw the sign as we walked in, the corner of his mouth moved ever so slightly and I thought that he must have had the same idea just now. As we said down at the bar like we usually did we ordered our beer and just sat there drinking for a while. Aoto still looked like he was in a very bad way and I didn't really know what to say to him, so I just sipped my beer and waited for him to tell me what was weighing on him.

„Hey Sato.“ he finally opened up after quite some time and not the first beer of the night.

„Yes?“ I was surprised by his sudden approach and the tone of voice he had.

„You know how jeleaous of you I am?“ he continued.

I didn't know what to say and just stared into my beer.

„No, I don't think I do. I never got that impression from you.“

„Well yeah, I wouldn't want to give it away, wouldn't I. Since there's nothing you can change about it. It's just who you are.“

I still didn't really understand where he was going and kept silent.

„It's not something I like to admit, but I never had a girlfriend. And you told me about some of your past experiences and it just kills me you know.“

Not the cat was out of the bag. But I still didn't know what to say to him.

„And now you get that girl that I can only presume is a stunner if she affects you so much and it's even worse.“

„I'm sorry you feel that way. I didn't do it to hurt you.“

He was laughing, but it sounded bitter.

„Of course, I know that. But I feel like I had to tell you otherwise it would just destroy me. Can you understand that?“ Now he stared into his beer and looked defeated again.

„I guess. I know the feeling of needing to tell someone about something at least.“ It wasn't a great answer, but I really couldn't relate to him well. It was obvious that this situation was making him feel very bad, but at the same time I couldn't think about what to do or say to make him feel better about it.

„But you know, that's not why I'm feeling terrible right now. At least not for the most part.“

Now I was really wondering what was going on.

„Did something happen?“ I asked cautiously.

„You could say so. You know, when you told me about your girl troubles, I was thinking about a girl of my own that I liked. Someone from our company.“

I was trying to think of who he could mean.

„You know Shigeko from the sales department?“

I had to think for a second, but then I remembered her. She was a good looking woman and thinking some more, I had seen her and Aoto talk before and they seemed friendly enough.

„So you did ask her out I guess?“

„Oh yeah, I did. Took all my willpower to do it as well. But I thought if you can try make it work with that girl that you liked so much, why can't I.“

I could at least relate to that, everything that had to do with Sophia took all my willpower. I could imagine where this was going, but I didn't want to be the one who says it. But since Aoto didn't continue I felt like I had no choice.

„So she turned you down?“

„Oh yes, big time. I mean I didn't expect her to be super in love with me, but I talked to her a couple of times and I thought she liked me at least a little bit. But that look on her face when I asked her, I don't think I will ever forget that.“ Now his voice sounded like a ghost. Like something in him had died when he remembered what happened.

„I presume me saying sorry won't make it any better.“ I didn't know how else to react.

„Nah, it's not your responsibility either obviously. I know I'm just making you feel bad for no reason, none of this is your fault. But I guess you are the only one I feel I can tell.“

I felt happy that he trusted me that much, I had said pretty much the same thing to Kaida. At least we both had someone we felt like we can talk about things like that.

„I will hear you out whenever you feel like it. That at least I can do.“

„Thanks. I mean it.“ We both just drank our beer after that.

„You know Sato, I know you know I like to spread rumours. About you in particular.“

„Oh, I hadn't noticed.“ I said sarcastically. Aoto ignored it.

„I don't know why I do it, but I guess it's to make you feel a little embarassed or something you know. Because you seem so untouchable sometimes, from my perspective.“

Again, I didn't know how to answer him. But I guess I could see where he was coming from. His way to the position he had was hard and he had to put a lot of work in and I just stumbled upon it and didn't even seem to care much about it.

„But the terrible thing is, all it does is make the women in the office more interested in you. I know it sounds absurd, but a lot of them are interested in you and they eat up everything I tell them about you. So I guess another reason is to get some attention myself at least. First hand information about you is all I have to offer to women it seems.“ Now he sounded like the ghost again.

„I guess I don't really care. It never seemed like you shared anything harmful or made something up to hurt my repuation. So I understood that it was all in good fun I guess.“

„I'm glad I didn't at least destroy my friendship with you tonight. I wouldn't have blamed you if you just gave up on me after that.“

„I'm not that shallow I guess. And you are pretty much the only friend I have over there as well, so I can't give you up that easily you know.“

Now Aoto seemed to laugh genuinely for this first time today.

„That actually does make me feel better. You know I really like talking to you, even about the girls stuff. It's fun. At least I can learn something from it, maybe.“

„Well, I have no intention of stopping now.“

„I figured as much.“ He laughed again, sincerely.

„I think I'm going home now Sato. I'm probably going to be embarassed tomorrow, so try to make me think of something else, will you?“

„That I can do.“ I promised.

„Okay, I'm off then. Enjoy the rest of your evening.“ He patted me on the shoulder and left the bar. I was once again just sitting there wondering. Apparently I had a a talent for bringing out emotions in other people. Both Aoto and Kaida shared something with me I never suspected they even felt to begin with. I hoped I could do their trust in me justice.