You'll Never Take Me Alive!

Our group had a plus one for the time being, and he was already proving to be a huge help while we were grinding out some levels on our way to the next bugged location. Whenever we passed by a herd of monsters, Zorro sent out one of his clones to sneak attack while we hit the bunch from the front.

Seeing as I was largely responsible for the mechanics of the game, I couldn’t help being impressed with his mastery over the clone skill. Some developers wanted the clones to just be simple copies of the player that would be taken over by an AI, but I had an idea that gave some of the more skilled playtesters a fun challenge…

-WAIT! He’s actually playing that clone with a second controller?! All on his own?!?!-

“That’s how we designed it,” I commented. “It started as an april fools joke, but a couple of really dexterous gamers threatened us to keep it in.”

-The_Zorro: We said if he got rid of it, we’d reveal all the game's secrets to the public! XD-

It was all in good fun. Plus they signed the NDA, so they couldn’t legally reveal anything. But we took the criticism to heart and said ‘screw it!’ Who were we to steal away their fun? It made that particular class skill very niche, but those few that mastered it were made all the more powerful.

-Couldn’t you give your controller to another player? You could be like me and Ray, playing together on one character!-

-The_Zorro: My daughter helps me from time to time. She loves running around as my clone lol-

The more he told us about his life, the more I had a feeling I knew who he was in the playtesting bunch. But I kept that to myself just in case he wanted a little privacy. It kind of surprised me how well he was taking the news that I was a person literally pulled into my computer, but I guess that worked in our favor for now.

-So, how long can you stay on today, Zorro? You mentioned before Ray woke up that you had to pick up your daughter from school?-

-The_Zorro: A few more hours at least. She has cheer practice-

-No way! I used to be in Cheer too! (´⊙ω⊙`)-

-The_Zorro: Really? WOW! Maybe you can give her some advice? She’s been having a hard time dealing with some drama…-

-Absolutely! I’d be happy to chat with her whenever! You get a lot of drama as a cheerleader dating a nerd, so consider me an expert :P-

“Come again?” What did Rose mean by that comment?

“Hey, guys!” I heard Tensei’s voice coming from behind us. She was flying in at full speed and stopped just in time to lightly bounce off my chest as Rose turned me to face her. “Woah!” she shook her head as she tumbled backwards mid air. “Uh… Oh! I got the info we need on the next city!”

She requested Rose open up a map of the area and pointed us to a city called Saigefell. It was a trade hub along a river we’d been following that made for a great early location for gear. The mayor there went by the name Pioppel and was supposed to be as jolly as Santa Clause according to her.

Seigefell also worked as a fork in the road for the story where players could decide what kind of arc they wanted to go on for their character.

The river was to our right, but it was unusually crowded. There was a huge line of boats along it from merchant vessels ready to trade, to bandit crafts awaiting the moment they could invade. It was kinda funny watching them all patiently sitting on their boats, but something about the backup didn’t feel right.

“Must be another glitch,” I assumed. “How far away are we from there, Tensei?”

“We’re really close to the edge of that city, you can already see the farms.” Tensei pointed to some humble homes on a hill.

Something about them didn’t look right to me. Even from this distance, they looked unusually low res, which made them feel like they were further away. It wasn’t just the buildings though, because the trees were like poles with triangles on them, and farm animals looked like a collection of cubes.

It got worse when I saw the NPC’s. Everyone had just enough polygons on them to stay crudely human shaped. Their textures were very flat and pixelated, as if a low resolution snapshot had been wrapped around blocks. Their movements were very funky looking too. They were sliding around and skipping from destination to destination, then placing down blocks and other 2d items as thin as paper.

“Looks like the Glitched are using their LOD models,” I commented.

-What’s a lod?-

“It stands for level of detail. It’s a term we use in the industry for the lower resolution versions of models that are meant to be seen from a distance.”

These miserable looking collections of cubes with smooth faces saved the engine a lot of resources, but were apparently perfect meme material for trolls online. They’d rip them from the game and plaster them all over the place with goofy captions. I could only imagine the chaos seeing them this close and plentiful would cause online.

-The_Zorro : I assume we are not supposed to see them this close-

“Not at all. Especially not these raggiddy looking ones.”

I was pretty sure these LOD’s weren’t even the official versions. They looked like very early prototypes we used in cutscenes to establish a composition. If we weren’t professionals, it might have driven some of the team mad working with them for days on end.

It almost felt like I was walking through a 32-bit horror attraction.

“Howdy, stranger,” said a chipper man who looked like he belonged in a woodchipper. His triangle looking wife and children approached close behind him. “Nice day, isn’t it? Are you here to meet with the city mayor?”

Oh, this very specific dialogue must have been the start of a possible quest line. What was it again? I couldn’t remember…

-They're so freaky! Ray, do something I HATE HIM! (ᗒᗣᗕ)-

Rose wasn’t very good with voxel games like this at all. They scared her out for some reason. I felt bad, but this couldn’t be helped.

“Sorry, Rose. Can’t do anything until we get to the access point.” I said. “Tensei, where is that?”

“It’s at the big palace at the center of the city.” she pointed off to the north west where the tips of its towers could be seen. “You might want to accept this quest so we have an excuse to go in there.”

“Right…” So if we needed an excuse to get inside, this quest was our ticket. “Uh, yeah! I’d like to meet the mayor,” I said to the cube farmer.

“Well, why don’t you follow me to the gate? I can put in a good word for the guards and have them take you up there.”

“How kind of you,” I said as the game automatically made me follow him.

-NO STOP I HATE HIM EEEWWW GET HIM AWAY STOP FOLLOWING THIS BLOCK MAN THING!-

“Rose, it's not nice to judge blocky people from their looks.” If I could stand seeing them up close and personal, I was sure she could manage as well.

-The_Zorro : Señor, something does not feel right here.-

“What are you talking about? Don’t tell me you’re scared of voxels too you…”

-The_Zorro : I have completed this quest before, and I do not remember it starting this way. The guards are supposed to talk with us at the gate about helping the mayor, not this farmer.-

I was more shocked that he made it this far into the game, let alone the quest being changed. But he might have been using a different version at the time. These things were changed often enough that it probably didn’t make much of a difference.

Things started to feel a little off though when I realized we were stuck following this NPC. Normally we didn’t ever want to take control away from the player. If there ever was a quest to trail along with someone or something, it was always up to the player to keep up the pace.

-Ray, this is taking forever…-

-Wait, what is going on at that big wall?-

“Big wall?”

She was in third person, so she could see more than I could. As I reached the top of a hill, I saw that a very pixelated stone brick wall had been erected around the city. It even went as far as blocking the river like a dam, which was the reason all those boats were being held up.

Worse than that, there was a battalion of men standing at a gate through said wall. I couldn’t help but notice the absolute contrast of excellent detail they had when compared to everything around them. They were about the highest quality model available, maybe even better. Those were only used for up close cutscenes.

To my displeasure, all their glaring eyes and various weapons were trained on me, and I had this horrible sinking feeling in my gut.

“Halt!” shouted the captain of the guard. “You have committed egregious crimes! By order of lord Troja, you must surrender or be slain where you stand!"

“Lord Troja?” That wasn’t the name of the mayor here.

When I looked at Tensei, she had just as much of a confused face as the rest of us. Minus Zorro, who was still just staring and smiling forward.

-YOU”LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE COPPERS!!!-