Identity Revealed

He looks up at me through falling tears and the love in his eyes takes my breath away. I remember his soft gaze and the earnest confession Feng Yu gifted me as we laid on his bed. I believe that he does love Murong Zhiyu now. Two years is a long time and love can grow anywhere.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Feng Yu replies. “I prefer it this way. I wanted to tell you how much of an idiot I’ve been. I knew it. I knew Qing-ge was still suffering from his sister’s death, but I was too stubborn to stop this and too ashamed to admit I lied for so long… I left him alone when it mattered most, when all I ever wanted was for him to be happy. I can’t do it any more. I will no longer stand in your way.”

Feng Yu’s beauty is only enhanced by the redness of his cheeks and the tears overflowing. His open hair falls around his face, cascades of red fire as he shivers ever so slightly, crying with closed eyes. I can’t help myself. I move forward automatically and wrap my arms around him.

“Xiaojie…” Feng Yu whispers and embraces me in turn, burying his face in my shoulder.

I let him cry in my arms, holding him until he calms down. His eyes are red as he looks up, smiling embarrassedly.

“I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to see this.”

I flick his forehead, much to his indignation. “I care about you, you idiot. I need to know how you’re feeling, so I can help you. Why did you never tell me you’re in love with Shixiong?”

Feng Yu blushes even harder as he answers, eyes downcast. “It was a teenage crush and I expected it to go away.”

“But it didn’t.”

“But it didn’t,” Feng Yu confirms. “We were best friends and I couldn’t bear to lose him by telling him how I felt, so I never did. Well, I believe I lost him now…”

“Shixiong has never been great at expressing his feelings. Give him some time to process things.”

“You’re taking this awfully calm.”

“Well, have any of you ever stopped to ask what I actually want? You’ve been fighting over a prize, who may not even want to be won.”

Feng Yu swallows. Ah, I got him. He never wondered what Murong Zhiyu wanted. While what she wants may be different from my mission, I’m in charge now. Doesn’t feel great when something is forced on you like this, is it now? Feng Yu looks chastised, which is gratifying to a degree. I don’t want to make him feel too bad, though. Who could stand letting a handsome man be so sad?

“You know of my true identity. The queen joked about it when you met her, but the reality is that being Murong Zhiyu is a task that takes priority over everything. There are things I am responsible for, which I can’t tell even you, who already knows of my origin. There is simply no safe room for me to pursue a relationship. Still, I care for both of you and I want you to be happy. And if that is with each other, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Feng Yu’s face goes through an emotional journey that tires me out even looking at it. He ends up… looking past me. I turn around to find Liu Renqing standing in the doorway. The man looks completely run down. His ears are red and his hands are flexing uselessly at his sides. I want to stand up, but Feng Yu grabs my wrist and pulls me back. What am I, your emotional support animal?

“A-Yu, I…” Liu Renqing swallows in the middle of speaking, his voice failing him.

“Take your time,” I say and feel Feng Yu’s grip on me tightening.

Liu Renqing shakes his head. “I have to say it now. A-Yu, I admit I never considered you this way. This possibility, I… I was blind to it. I can’t tell you what I think about it yet, but if you give me some time, I will consider it seriously.”

Feng Yu just nods, and I can feel his hand shaking. Ah, I do understand him. Liu Renqing is unfairly handsome like this, overcome with emotion, his usually stoic face animated and open.

“I know one thing, though,” he continues. “I love Shimei. I will never stop loving her, and I won’t stop trying to win her over, no matter what she says.”

“Well, that’s one thing we can agree on.”

They both look determined as my gaze wanders back and forth and I feel like I’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake.

“Even though she isn’t the Murong Zhiyu we know,” Feng Yu says.

What. What did he just—

“Don’t try to deny it. We talked about it this morning,” Liu Renqing adds. “And everything we’ve seen today only confirms it. The way you hold your sword, the lack of proper technique, the weak application of power. It’s like you have an arsenal of capable weapons at your disposal and you don’t know how to use any of them.”

“I’m not—”

“Don’t deny it. You’re a terrible liar,” Feng Yu cuts me off. “But even if I’m sure you’re not Murong Zhiyu, you can’t be a shifter who took on her form either. You wouldn’t have her dragon powers then, and the queen would definitely have seen through your disguise. So it is her body, but it isn’t her.”

“I mean you no harm,” I mumble. “That’s actually the complete opposite of what I want. I’m only here to help.”

“I believe you,” Feng Yu says and reaches out to take my hand. “Otherwise I would’ve confronted you much earlier. I just want to know where she is.”

I sigh. “Zhiyu?” I ask, trying to wake her gently. “There are some people who want to talk to you.”

The pressure in my head increases, bordering on painful. At first that’s all that happens, until my hand flexes once, twice, on its own. No, not on its own. It is Murong Zhiyu, taking over. I see though her eyes as she looks back and forth between them.

“Hello, my shadows,” she greets them and I see both their postures relax in an instant. “I’m still here. I haven’t gone anywhere.”

They both reach for her together, each of them grabbing one hand. I feel like I’m intruding on their moment, but I can’t close my eyes, so I just have to bear it. Is that how Murong Zhiyu feels? No wonder she chooses to sleep. Just this small moment of not having control freaks me out.

“What’s happening to you, Xiaojie?” Feng Yu asks. “Who is this other person?”

“I would ask you to treat her with as much love and respect as you treat me. She is here to protect all of you,” Murong Zhiyu explains.

“Couldn’t you do it better?” Liu Renqing asks.

“In this particular case, no. I am much too involved to be keeping a clear head like she is.”

Ah, so she is in love with one of them. I just can’t figure out who. She looks at both of them with the same gaze.

“I don’t understand,” Feng Yu says.

“You don’t have to understand. I fear if I explain, you would be too confused. She can’t explain either. Do me a favour and support her until her mission is done. I can’t stay for long—this is taking too much of my energy to uphold. I will leave you now, but I am still here.”

“When will you be as before?”

“Just continue as you have and I will be back before you know it.”

I fall over as I suddenly regain control of my body, right into Feng Yu’s arms. I look up at him, and he frowns at me. Right. I am a stranger, after all, even if I am in her body. Still, it’s miraculous they figured it out at all.

“So you won’t explain either?” he asks.

“I can’t. This is a secret no one knows except me and the one who sent me. This is part of a divine intervention and will fail if revealed.”

Both of them are suitably shocked. It seems my play has worked. Divinity-fearing as they are, a revelation like this should make them hesitant to do anything stupid. Interestingly, Feng Yu is the first to compose himself, while Liu Renqing still looks shell-shocked.

“Are you here because of the threat from the north?” he asks.

“In a way. I really can’t tell you anything more. Please don’t ask.”

“Can I ask about yourself?”

“I’d rather you not.”

“Mhm,” Feng Yu says in a very nice Liu Renqing impression.

“So while Murong Zhiyu isn’t here, you can work this out between you. I’m sure she’ll give you her blessing,” I say and am gratified to see Feng Yu blush mightily.

“You talk to her?” Liu Renqing asks. “Can she see us?”

“Sometimes. She sleeps most of the time. It takes too much energy to keep awake, and it also doesn’t feel good for either of us. Too much to contain in one body at the same time.”

“So she doesn’t know,” Feng Yu says.

Liu Renqing takes a step forward when the door opens behind us. A female court minister, clearly recognisable dressed in her uniform with a suitable hat, walks into the room, followed by two guards. I’ve always liked these hats and they look even more impressive in person

“Princess Zhu,” she greets me with a low bow.

“You may rise,” I tell her when she doesn’t move after a while.

“Thank you, princess. I am here to summon you to the war council chamber. Queen Zhu has demanded your presence.”

“Thank you. I will join you right now.”

“My deepest thanks, Princess Zhu. Please follow me.”

She steps to the side and waves towards the door. I stand up and brush down my robe, which looks much like the ones Zhu Chun usually wears, then look at the two idiots.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

Feng Yu laughs. “I can’t promise you that.”