Once a coward, always a coward

I went down to deliver the sheet and the receptions took it.

“If you don’t mind, Mr. Hikari, there is someone waiting for you, the one that requested your services”

“Already?... My team is exhausted… and I kind of want to sleep”

“I understand, sir, if you want us to made the person leave, we will do it”

I scratch my head and sigh.

“No, it would be a waste of time for both of us, better be ready for tomorrow or the day after, where is he?”

“He is at the last table on the inn”

“Hmm… Thanks”

The receptionist made a bow and I left going to the table.

“Hey”

“Are you Ryuzaki Hikari?”

“Yes, I am, listen, my team is not currently here, are you okay if it is only me?”

“Yes, in fact, I want to deliver my mission to you”

“Only me?”

“Yes, the rest can follow you, but I need someone from my side to know what I am talking about”

“Someone from your side? I am afraid I don’t belong to a near city, sir”

The guy chuckle and pass me across the table a note as I was sitting down, the information made me open my eyes wide.

“Why… how?... I mean…”

“I know what are you thinking, but I need this, or maybe you got too accommodate with your life in here?”

I bit my lips and look at the person with serious look.

“Don’t talk as if you know me, what do you want from me?”

“It is said in the sheet, I want to go in that cave and found the reverse enchanting of tired of this world, there is no such thing as no exits there must be a way to get out”

The note that I was reading, was a copy in Japanese of the site Tired of this world, it could be read as:

Have you ever thought of disappearing for once? I can make that dream come true, all you need to do is sign the contract, read the next paragraph “[Your Name] and I signed the contract”. Once you do it, you will be gone from this world and be born in a new one, a new name, a new place, you chose your next step on life, good luck

The words were the same but at the end of the paragraph it said something else.

Wasn’t this life what you expect? Then go back to your world, if you can find the way, search for the obelisk underground, recite the same words, good luck finding it, since the ones that founded already leave and I may have done it too.

“If you want to find this, why don’t you go to find it yourself?”

“Oh, are you refusing my quest? For my understanding that’s a terrible mistake”

“Don’t tell me… you knew about me?...”

“Of course, when I notice that a particle name was going into adventures and people were talking about the next group to be promoted, I knew I had to make that, after all, your group is know for no refusing into any adventure, right, Hikari?”

“You piece of… so you are just going to sit down in here and wait until we find the way out? The hell is that?!”

I got up and move my hand, dropping a glass of water, in that moment the receptionist came to me and asked me if everything was good.

“Sorry, I got a little work-up, I apologize…”

“If something is bothering you, Mr. Hikari… tell us, please”

“I’m good, thank you”

The moment the receptionist went away, I look at the guy one more time.

“And what power you posses to make our reputation go down just like that?”

“Rumors can be expanded in a matter of time, Hikari, and you, even with you small achievements, they’re still small, besides, rumors are not the only thing I have under my sleeve, or does the name of Norwin and Renala sound familiar to you”

“You bastard…”

I was holding my sword and I look at him with a killer intent that even made him flitch a bit.

“Calm down, I am not doing anything to them, they are just a passing ticket to inspire you”

“Okay… do you even know where these ruins are?”

“I have no idea, but I have study some of the people that were before us, some of them have stories in here, or did you never bother to search for them?”

I didn’t say a word and hold my sword in anger, I was shaking and look away.

“The locations are at the other side of the sheet, anyway, I cannot blame you if you don’t regret living in here, but I want to go back, this world is not like you though, right? What can you possible achieve in here that in the big world you can’t? You are going to die to a regular diseases in here”

I got up and took the paper, I look at the guy and read the name of the requester.

“Mind your own business, Akari”

“I sure will”

I went upstairs and look at both Alexander and Elizabeth, I approach Elizabeth and got on my knees, I was watching her with a smile, her breath smell like wine and I just couldn’t help but to hold her hand and put her hand in my face.

“Why do things happen like this, Liz...”

I close my eyes and let my head fall in the sheets as I hear the breathing of Elizabeth, I look at the full moon and the stars surrounding it.

“The future is always scary… I am afraid, Liz… I… I don’t even know what to do… who am I… what do I want… but I am sure of one thing… I am sure of protecting you… the only thing in my life that I am a hundred percent sure is to make sure you are safe… but… part of me wants to go… even if I have my life in here…”

I was sobbing while looking at the moon and I stand up and I left the inn, and I walking with just my sword and shield, I walked under the light of the moon, passing the commercial district into the living quoters of the city.

When I got into the top, I saw the guard of the king, and they stopped me.

“What’s your business in here, young man?”

“I want to talk with the king”

“And who exactly are you? Besides, the king ins sleeping right now”

“I am a new adventurer of town, my name was just place as one of the adventurers that can take difficult quest”

“Your name?”

“Ryuzaki Hikari”

“That name doesn’t sound familiar to me”

“But it does for me”

One of the knights stepped in and look at me.

“You…”

“It’s been a while, you got what it takes to join the army now?”

“No, I don’t want to join the army, I actually just want to talk with the king”

“I see, well, any business that you have with the king, it needs to be at the morning, and you cannot be here at these hours”

“I understand… then I will see the king tomorrow, make sure to have an appointment for me”

I took my leave and walk outside, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think properly, I was feeling like when I first decided to left my world, but why? Why am I so conflicted about it?

As if I didn’t know the answer… of course I miss my own world, but I already started to have something in here, should I abandon the hope of having a place in here? Someplace where I could be recognizing if I work hard enough, but… if my family miss me… if… if there is something more than just living in the moment… what would I do? What do I have to do? Why is it so difficult if I having a great time in here?

But I knew what was going on, is not the fact that I can live in here, is the fact that there could be a way to get out, and what made me afraid, what it made me so upset was that, for an instance, I thought.

There is finally a way to get out of here

Ignoring the people that help me, ignoring the amount of effort that I put, I was just thinking on quitting one more time, and that made me angry, it made me afraid, that when I see the obelisk, if there is such thing, I would be tempted to recite those simple words, the same words that I tell when I decided to left my work, my life, my family.

I sit down resting my back in an alley, looking at the stars, thinking about Elizabeth while some tears came down my chicks.

“Liz… I’m a coward…”