Workday Blues

Time for work... Ugh.

I’m a hard worker by nature; work itself isn’t really the issue here. The issue is that I’ve been here at Queen Rose Company for 5 years, in the exact same position.

I’m known nothing more than “Miyu From Accounting” by everyone. It’s like my name is never said without the “From Accounting” part these days.

My job title is “Finance Admin”, however, when the other employees hear that, they seem to think it means, “Someone who will do all of my work for me.” I wish I was kidding.

I open my inbox. Ugh! 100 new emails! I recoil in disgust.

I start clicking through them, fixing people’s small typos in letters, checking that numbers add up correctly, changing the font on something that is going to be published. By the time I clear my inbox, it is mid-day break time.

In the bathroom, I check the lump on my head. Ah! It’s huge! And red!

“Did I seriously greet Akira looking like this?!” I murmur as I lean in closer to the mirror to inspect it.

I dab some concealer on it to attempt to make it look less red. It kind of works – but it doesn’t really matter though, because Akira finishes work earlier than I do, so I won't see him again today.

The only time we see each other is in the morning... But that’s enough for me to have formed a one-sided attachment to him...

In other words, I mean, a crush.

It just sounds so juvenile, saying it like that!

I’m 25, and I’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone a real-life crush, but here I am, falling hopelessly in love with the rival business’s #1 Certified Hot Guy. Gahh!!

As I leave the bathroom stall, I overhear some other ladies from my company chatting as they enter the bathrooms.

"Ehh?! You like HIM?!" One shrill voice calls out.

I hide back in the bathroom stall, quickly locking the door.

"I mean, how can you not?! He's sooo gorgeous!" A smooth and pretty voice responds.

"Well, I mean, yeah! But he's probably going to be a manager at Sky Kingdom Company soon... You seriously think our boss would be okay with you dating HIM?!" A shrill reply.

"I didn't say I was going to date him! Calm down, Yuki. I just mean, if I had to date someone in this building, I'd pick him. That's all."

"Huhh, I see. Well, if you did go for him, of course he would fall head over heels for you. You're perfect for him, Saki. I mean, your blonde hair would contrast his dark hair so well. Such a cute couple."

"Hmm... Should I try then? Just to see?" The same smooth voice responds, as the distinct POP! of a lipstick tube opening echoes in the bathrooms.

"Oh my! Yes, do it! Ask him out after work today, just to see... Hehehe."

There is a wave of giggles from the two ladies, and then they talk about their hairstyles for a bit. I will them to go away in my mind.

Yuki and Saki. The two office pretty ladies.

My stomach twinges. I have a sinking feeling I know who they are talking about. Akira...

I wish I could just disappear right now. If he started dating someone in my company... I'd never hear the end of it.

I could already imagine all the office gossip about their cute new relationship and adorable date pictures on Saki's Instagram...  and then of course the honeymoon photos taken somewhere abroad, and the children's pictures sitting proudly on her desk...

AHH! It made me want to bang my head on the bathroom sink!

I heard the two ladies leave and the bathroom door click.

Phew. They're gone. And so is my will to live.

Back at my desk, I start eating my lunch. My lunch is always plain; it is rice and leftover side-dishes from whatever I made the night before. Today it is tamagoyaki.

I so wish I had the time to make some delicious cake to enjoy at lunchtimes... It's just that I lack the motivation. And time. And energy... And skill.

Ah, a few moments of something resembling peace. Eating my boring food, staring out the window at the grey cityscape.

I can’t help but wonder at this moment, ‘Is this all my life will ever be?’

My mind wanders off, to the shoujo manga I was reading last night. It was about a plain girl who had a crush on a beautiful boy.

In the manga, the two main characters both wrote diaries, and unknown to each other, their notebooks had the same cover. Both left their notebooks at work one day and then picked up the other person’s notebook by accident.

In the boy’s diary, he confessed that he was madly in love with the main character! But also... This meant that he might have read her diary as well!

That’s where I got up to before the clock struck midnight, and I realised I had to sleep so I wasn’t exhausted the next day.

I pondered what Akira might write in his diary, if he kept one.

Would he write secrets about his past? How he was lead to getting an earring? Maybe a secret tattoo?

Would he write how he secretly despises his company, and wishes he could switch to the opposition?

Would he... Write about a crush? Maybe... Someone he talks to everyday...?

A bird flies past the window, and it snaps me out of my daydream, prompting me to look at the clock.

Ah, seriously?! That time already?!

Back to work time, I guess.