The Boy Mayor, Artemis

Dige was in the presence of luxury, and he wore it too. The world he came from never had such opulent pillars, delicate silk furniture, ornate doorways, or clean, intricate carpentry. The statues could use a little work, but that was his opinion.

The dwarf had received a full makeover with a hose and tunic fitted to his strange body and a wash that left his beard smooth and extra long, reaching all the way to his groin. His eyebrows were trimmed, as was his hair, and his helmet was taken away for a stylish cap. Dige hated this the most. However, as he walked through the central bureaucratic chambers of city hall, he received much finer looks than he had before. In fact, he was quickly becoming a local celebrity, at least in how his new garments showed off his muscles. What a strange feeling, he thought.

When he reached the mayor’s chambers, he was met by two further guards, and sitting behind a desk sat a small child, one with a funny hat and robes that reached all the way to the floor, their eyes wide and shifting blue.

“Oi, what a pretty young lass you are,” Dige smiled. “Do you belong to the mayor?”

“I am the mayor, jackass,” he responded with a feminine voice. “And I’m not a girl, I’m a legally adult man. Fourteen years old.”

“Fourteen? Oh, you should be drinking your milk, lad. Once you turn 50, you’ll be big and strong like me.”

“We’re almost the same height already.” The boy sighed. “You’re the fugitive that the king's been raving about, correct? Dige Moor?"

"Who's talking about me?"

"The king."

"Hmm?"

"And Princess Cordelia?"

"Ah, that lass. I don't understand what I did wrong. I wasn't that rough."

The mayor no longer wanted to ask further.

"Forget it. It's you who’s been hiding away in the sewers recently, right?”

“That I am.”

“What the hell were you doing down there!?” The boy rolled out a map showing the inner workings of the sewers. “I’ve been getting reports of rumblings from underneath the streets and debris being thrown out into the river system, and when I sent sentries down to check on it, a quarter of the sewer walls are gone! Are you trying to make my city fall into shit!?”

“Debris?” Dige asked. “I thought everything was fitting nicely in the orerealm.”

“Before I throw you in jail, will you note everything you’ve been doing to our city? It'll take a week to inspect otherwise.”

“Ay, certainly.”

Dige took the pen offered to him and used a step stool to look over the map. As he thought, it was precisely to his memory, so he laid out the additions and adjustments made while noting additional changes that he hadn’t made yet but would.

“I was apprehensive at first about messing with the infrastructure, but once I got down there, it bugged me so much I couldn't help myself."

"You should've let it bug you."

"Your city’s water system is underdeveloped and needs a further rehaul here, here, and here. With the right piping and a pump system, you’ll be able to inc-.”

“I don’t care about that! I care about you undermining the foundation of this city!”

“The new tunnels won’t affect anything. The weight bearing is perfect.”

“I should also report, lord,” said the guard. “That the skeleton issue affecting the underground had been dealt with. The sewers should be safe for regular maintenance now.”

“Oh, yeah. I also did that too.”

Dige sat there, waiting to be praised for his diligent work, but he was face-to-face with a child red with fury. 

“How did you do that!? We’ve been searching for that necromancer for months! It was supposed to be our job!”

“Eh? He was right next to the entrance. I just had to tear down that first wall.”

Then again, looking at the rooms, it was oddly situated to that, with the wall intact, one would have to go through the entire sewer to loop around. It would've been the last room after going through a presumed legion of skeletons. Why was it built this way?

Either way, the mayor was in a tantrum, and Dige wasn’t sure how to proceed. The guards next to him were looking away in embarrassment. Turns out, the impending necromancer issue was brought up many times over the past year since the boy took office, and it was always pushed off as something to do later. Now that it was done, the mayor looked incompetent, most likely because he was.

“Hey, you look strong,” the boy huffed. “How did you dodge the draft for the army? Get this half-man suited up for the front line. You can use your skills to fight hordes of demons on the front lines.”

“Demon generals? Oh, no. I’m not ready for those yet. That goddess lass told me to get stronger first, whatever that means.”

“Goddess?”

“I believe he’s referring to the heroes the goddesses sent,” a guard chimed in.

“You’re not a hero! I’ve seen what a hero looks like, and you’re nothing like them!”

“Ay, they’re pansies. But it’s the truth, erm.” Dige took a minute to think. “If the goddess Merry-.”

“Marine.”

“-is listening to me, may she, um, push that book over.”

The attendees looked over at the books stacked on the desk for a while. The mayor wasn't expecting anything to happen, but after a few minutes, one of the books stood there and did nothing. Nope, nothing happened.

“Alright, that’s that,” the mayor said. “Men, have this man transported to the 5th army. I want him fit and-.”

The book fell over.

“You’re a hero! Oh my goodness! This is so exciting!” The boy flopped onto his desk, crawling toward Dige. “I’ve seen so many heroes go through the city, but none of them wanted to talk to me. They thought I was annoying!”

“That’s ridiculous,” Dige said genuinely.

“I know! Do you have a party as well? I’d love to go out on adventures!”

The guards looked to their mayor. It was true that he was an important official in charge of a major city, but on the other hand, he was only brought in by nepotism, and he did need some time outside the city to grow up a little. Going with a hero may be a worthwhile endeavor.

“Nah, I’ll pass.”

“What do you mean, pass!?” 

“I don’t need some wee lad scampering about, messing with my work. I may not look like it in these girly gowns, but I am a hard-working dwarf. I don’t need to be a babysitter.”

“If you don’t, I’ll make your life a living hell.”

“I can live with that.”

“I’ll…give you food, and good weapons, and a bed with beautiful women in it.”

“I want my guild membership, free access to the ale, and a bed to sleep. Oh, and I guess I don't want to be arrested. Very important. All that given, I’ll take you on adventures appropriate for a lad your age.”

“If you stay out of the sewers and bathe every day, deal.”

Dige’s face fell, and the boy couldn’t tell which point was causing it.

“Ay, deal.” They shook on it. “What be your name?”

“Artemis, hero.”

“What a pretty girl’s name.”

“Stop it.”

With that, Dige made an established name for himself. As in, there was a place he was established, the Dreams Guild Hall. Never again would he have to go hungry or sleep under the streets, as he was well accustomed to. Now he had a soft bed, warm food, and enough alcohol to feed his dwarven appetite. He had certainly reached the base level of survivability that he was more than grateful for.

“Now that you’re well acquainted with the facilities,” said the guild receptionist, after touring the dwarf. “Please refer to Timdal for the baths.”

Dige was met with a  220cm ogre-like beast with a single eye and a belly bigger than his. It was surprising that he could even fit in this hall.

“Are you ready for bathing lessons?”

Dige couldn’t speak. His jaw clenched. The immasculation, oh the immasculation.