Of Keeping Secrets in Silent Worlds

Darkened clouds hung purple and pregnant with rain. Jagged spires of sawtooth mountains rose in hexagonal shapes. Individual shards were larger than skyscrapers, and together they formed a mountain range that was as much a barbed wire fence as it was nature. On one side, a lost kingdom where they might find a moment of respite. On the other, Izhari’s homeland.

As the two of them stood alone at the edge of the ridge, Tomita was simultaneously imagining the size of this island in its enormity and also watching Izhari with concern.

Izhari hadn’t spoken yet. Her thoughts seemed to be racing. Tomita could sense the dread fading and being replaced by anxiety. For Izhari, she was afraid to move another step without analyzing their options, but she also wanted to get away from the crystal in case any pursuer might come.

“Tomita, step away from the crystal, please,” she asked.

Tomita agreed and stepped aside. Izhari pointed her staff at the crystal.

“Curse this stone for all who are not us. May no one beside the two that stand here ever use this again,” she muttered.

The stone glowed and cracked with a snapping sound that was as loud as a muffled gunshot. Its clack echoed across the distant stone walls.

“That may buy us some time…” she said without pause.

“That is a good idea,” agreed Tomita as he shifted the cart and glanced out and the treacherous path that awaited.

Izhari still couldn’t step forward. Finally, she spoke.

“Why… Why did you do that back there? Why did you protect me at your own expense?” she asked in a sincere pause.

Tomita inhaled and sighed.

“I… I don’t fully know… But… But you asked me to protect you. To help you. S-so I did. Like I said, I gave up on those happy memories when I killed myself. They weren’t enough to convince me to live back then, so they weren’t that important, I suppose.”

“But, they were yours. And now your life has been reduced to sorrow and hurt if you try to remember it… Do you have any inclination as to what he took?” she asked softly.

Tomita tried to focus, and to his wonder and slight melancholy, he couldn’t recall anything. It was as though they had truly been wiped from ever existing in his mind.

“...No… Maybe that’s even crueler? That he can take those things and you don’t even know what you lost…” Tomita sighed.

“Regardless, I still have some pleasant memories. He didn’t take every single drop of joy.”

“What can you remember?” she asked.

Tomita’s eyes closed, and he put all of his mental energy to see what was left in the fragmented ruins of his psyche. Small flashes of emotional catharsis and joy masquerading as escape began to dance in the corners of his mind. The first cold snap in October that announced the approach of Fall. The scent of his favorite coffee. An empty train after a long shift. All of those small flashes of light were still there. And that was enough.

The sky and mountaintops returned to Tomita’s vision as he opened his eyes. Indeed, his spirit felt calmed with the brief meditation. Looking to Izhari, she seemed to have calmed a small amount as well.

“I felt it. That was… very nice,” she whispered.

“Thank you, Tomita,” she said as she rubbed her chest and let the calming sensation coat her spirit.

She still had some lingering confusion about why he would do such a thing for her, but as she stood there mulling the uncertainty, his hand met her shoulder.

“We should find a place to rest,” said Tomita.

Izhari agreed, and for the moment her thoughts were set aside so that they could navigate the jagged curves of the mountainside.

Eventually, the two found a small inlet that offered enough shelter from the impending rain. Making their way cautiously into the depths of the cave afforded them hints of secrecy from any potential passersby. Tomita knew that they were both exhausted, but they were beginning to run low on supplies and would need to refill soon. As much as he hated to admit it, Currtasi made more sense.

“Does Currtasi mean anything to you? Was that word ever used when you were in captivity?” Tomita asked.

Izhari shook her head and rested her cheek on her arm.

“No. No one ever spoke to me. I’m not even sure that is where I was hidden away. And when He broke the world, I was separated and never set foot in any village of my people. So I wouldn’t know anything about it. It’s just another mystery of my existence…” she sighed.

Seeing her fatigue set in, convinced Tomita they needed to rest.

“Izhari, I think we should stay here two nights. Let us rest tomorrow. Recharge. Then we can continue. I will read and see what I can find on Currtasi, if anything,” said Tomita as he opened the nearest history book.

Damp pages dripped onto Tomita’s lap and he exhaled in frustration. Truly, they were all still dripping and dirty. Only now did Tomita stop to think about it. He didn’t want to ask Izhari to use any of her power for something as mundane as drying, so he settled on checking the nearby detritus for wood. After a few moments of searching, he had found a few sticks that sufficed. He had been smart enough to bring fire stones, so once the sticks and tinder were in place, two clicks from the stones created a few sparks that slowly built into a small flame.

Tomita stood and began to remove his clothes. Only once his shirt was untucked did he pause and blush.

“Manager… Um… you should d-d-dry off…” he said sheepishly.

Izhari turned, and her tail tapped on the stone floor. Something warm rushed through her body but she knew he was right. Staying in wet clothes would likely lead to her becoming sick. Without a word, she started to stand. His hand was at her side before she was even halfway up.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“I will look a-away,” said Tomita who was suddenly incredibly confused by the rising tightness in his pants.

It was strange. Being a former young man, Tomita knew the sensation all too well, but this felt beyond him. It felt-

Tomita turned and glanced at Izhari, who was standing rigid with a perplexed look on her face.

“Izhari… Are you… okay?” Tomita asked without realizing he was smiling a confused smirk.

“My… body feels strange… It happens on occasion…” she stuttered.

“On occasion? Like routinely occasion or random?” Tomita asked while stifling a laugh.

“I don’t know! Routinely I guess?! It was starting this morning and now it’s built!” sighed Izhari.

The urge to laugh was nearly exploding in Tomita’s throat. His powerful, rage-filled cat-girl master was seemingly in heat, and he had inadvertently just made it worse. Then Izhari realized in terror what was happening.

"Wait can you feel this too?!!!!" she screeched.

“Well, I mean, in my world, all species had something similar. It’s just your body urging you to-”

“I KNOW WHAT IT’S URGING ME TO DO TOMITA!” Izhari shrieked.

Tomita continued to undress and had to look away to compose himself, but the insane thoughts that were now exploding in his mind were tearing through him and making his inseam seem smaller and smaller.

Behind him, Izhari was trying not to think about anything at all, but suddenly a new warmth drifted up her inner thighs and down from her stomach. Her paws locked and she froze in confused humiliation.

“What is happening? What am I feeling?” she asked in a nervous snarl while undoing her belt.

Tomita realized he had been caught and Izhari was feeling what he was.

“Is this you?! Are you thinking about it?!” she screamed with a terrified attempt at hiding a laugh.

Her shawl slid to the floor.

“Well of course I’m thinking about it! You’re not?!” Tomita blurted as his fortitude undid itself and the laughs broke out.

Drops of water ran down his exposed collarbones and stomach as his shirt slid over his shoulders.

“NO! I’m not thinking about it!!” Izhari whisper-screamed as gloves were pulled from her hands.

“Well fine I guess I’m the furry pervert then! I mean you’re not even slightly curious? Because now it’s alllll in my head,” Tomita laughed out loud as his belt clasp came undone and his pants were unzipped.

“Well OF COURSE I’m curious but I’m repressing it!!” Izhari sighed as her tunic was pulled over her head.

His legs slid from his trousers. Her wrap fell from her shoulders to the ground. Only then did the two of them realize that their hands had not been the ones removing their garments. Tomita looked down to see that Izhari’s paws were at his waist. They were against one another, standing in the pile of their discarded clothes. Though she could not see him, Izhari looked up to Tomita.

“I don’t want to repress it…” she admitted with a hint of surprised confusion.

“I d-don’t want you to,” he replied without fully knowing what he was saying.

“But, should we not clean ourselves first?” He asked.

Izhari paused and nodded in agreement. Beside them, golden shards of light glowed and two pales appeared. Tomita watched them form from nothingness and still felt wonder even though he had seen it several times now. When they were fully formed, Tomita realized one was full of washing water and the other was full of clean water. Each had its own ladle. Izhari looked back to him with parted lips. 

She wasn’t even sure what she was feeling. Maybe it was hysteria and exhaustion. Maybe it was desperation and abandon of reason. Maybe it was fear. But deep in her heart, she could not help but feel a pulse of happiness that this feeling within her felt more pleasant and soft than anything else.

“I can wash you, if you will wash me,” she whispered with a subtle pur.

“I can do that,” said Tomita.

There was a pause of nervousness, and slight hesitation. Fingers touched fur. Claws retracted and grazed the bones of his hips ever so slightly. Flame light illuminated her glowing eyes. His scent was familiar but it was stronger now. His slow exhales caressed the edges of her whiskers. Her mouth was low enough that he had to lean forward. Before he realized it, he was leaning forward. Unsteady legs were supported by shaking hands, and their lips met.

In the deepest chasms of shallow caves, spires of stone were moistened by rain-filled clouds, and soft exhales mixed in with fire crackles that whispered secrets in ancient languages that no one knew. For the briefest moment, fear and despair subsided like a vanishing alphabet as they burned into one another and wrote sacred histories that no one would ever know.