I (Unnecessarily) Accepted That I Would Die Alone

I woke up with the feeling that I should make sure Renet hadn't abandoned me. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes; he was gone. Sadness, though not disappointment, overwhelmed me. The conversation we'd had the previous evening had been so strange that I wasn't sure how I felt about these words. Just to be sure, I looked around to see if he'd simply left, but I didn't see his backpack either. I stood up with a heavy sigh. After all, we hadn't agreed on a specific date for our collaboration to end, but rather on how much help Renet could offer me. It was hard to get myself ready for independence. I had to admit to myself that, as short as our relationship was, I didn't want it to end, although it was better sooner rather than later.

I splashed cold water on my face, hoping it would sober my mind enough to refocus on my true mission: survival. Whatever fantastical world this seemed, and there wasn't much excitement, I needed money above all. I had no doubt they were in charge here, or at least made life easier. The princess, of course, wasn't too kind to provide me with any funds for my spy mission. If she had any, she probably decided it wasn't worth wasting such precious resources, since sooner or later I'd be pushing up the daisies.

When did my hair grow so long? I ran my hand through it, trying to remember if I'd neglected it in the real world. When was the last time I'd been to a hairdresser? Or had this world adjusted me to its reality? I looked in the mirror; my features hadn't changed, still indicating my Japanese origins. Aside from the fact that I hadn't received a six-pack when I was transferred here and I was wearing different clothes, I didn't look significantly different from my other world self. It was just strange to look at myself when I wasn't wearing a suit; I'd worked so hard I couldn't imagine myself without a tie. Now I had to cope without this armor of routine.

At least this time, I didn't have a panic attack, but I felt a profound indifference within me. I didn't know what to do with myself; I had no real purpose here. Fulfilling the princess's mission? It didn't really appeal to me, because I still didn't know what it was all about. This world, at least on this side, seemed like a kind of idyll. I wondered what humans had done to the Dragonids to make them so intolerant, because I had a feeling that the reason wasn't really the fact that humans existed. Someone must have built this wall and assumed that the gate would be useful someday.

One last glance in the mirror, after a good meal and a rest in a fairly comfortable bed; I looked quite passable. Even my eyes had regained a healthy appearance. I remember how long it took me to realize they weren't dark like all my friends' because I had a strange genetic mix and the color gray, which contrasted sharply with my black hair. Besides, what did that have to do with anything? I wasn't trying to hit on anyone.

I emerged from the bathroom when someone grabbed me in his arms. That surprised me when it turned out to be Renet. He pushed me away, embarrassed, but clearly breathing a sigh of relief. I tried to suppress a goofy smile, not wanting to show how happy I was that he hadn't abandoned me after all. Which, of course, didn't mean he wouldn't do so soon, for example, right outside the city walls. He'd point in a direction and tell me to fend for myself.

"I thought you'd disappeared; you weren't in your room," he explained. "I was looking for you and overreacted when I saw you were still here."

"I was the one who was sure you'd abandoned me; you'd taken your things," I accused him, but I didn't want to be so cruel as to mention how much it hurt me. "Never mind. Where have you been?"

"Wilhelm sent Wanda with a message to come to him..."

"Without me?" I asked, looking around the room, although my possessions were so sparse that it would be difficult to forget anything. Renet agreed with a nod. Well, the old man and his daughter had clearly thought things over overnight and deemed me unworthy of their trust. I couldn't blame them; I probably wouldn't trust myself either.

"He settled the accounts with me. Apparently, having paintings in people's homes is becoming increasingly popular, and he can sell a lot of them. He never charges anything for his help, so I received a lot of money today." He smiled proudly. "They'll come in handy."

"As soon as I can, I'll give you back everything," I announced, realizing that this might be a pretty good starting point and a good reason to keep in touch with him.

"No need," he replied. "I just want to help you."

"And I don't want to get into debt." My stomach rumbled loudly. "I think it's time for breakfast."

I ate two portions of scrambled eggs because Renet gave me his, which started to worry me because he ate small amounts of food. Was it a matter of taste, or was something else driving him? He tried, but it wasn't more than a few bites. I didn't want to ask him about it, though, afraid it would offend him somehow. However, I decided to pay closer attention as we continued our journey.

"Did Wilhelm have anything else important to tell you?" I asked, passing their house. I felt someone watching us from afar, and it was undoubtedly Wanda. For a moment I wondered if she would jump out from somewhere and stab me in the heart. "Wanda probably wasn't thrilled about your leaving."

"She wasn't." He didn't want to go into details. "Wilhelm just asked me to watch out for you and not get into too much trouble because of you."

"I'll take that as a compliment." I smiled; I didn't expect anyone to label me a bad boy one day.

Renet returned the gesture, clearly pleased that the old man's words hadn't impressed me. Of course, it would be good to meet as many friendly people in this world as possible, but that didn't mean I had to form close relationships with everyone who turned out to be kind. Besides Renet, he was the exception to this rule.

"How long will the journey take us, exactly?" I asked, though for me that was the same as asking how much time we could still spend together.

"It's not a large country. A few days at most, if you're not in a hurry."

"No, I'm definitely not in a hurry," I breathed deeply. "After all, I'm in no hurry. The only thing I can chase right now is life."

"Sometimes you say funny things, Kyo," my companion laughed.

"Maybe, but right now I'd rather listen. Tell me something, Renet," I asked.

He turned to me, searching for an answer to the silent question of what kind of story I was expecting. As much as I wanted to learn about this world, I simply wanted to listen to his voice and enjoy his company.