Past and Future VI / Breaking Character

“Are you feeling alright, Everett? If attending classes is too much, please do not push yourself.”

I shook my head at Professor Seris, who had approached me after today’s lecture to check in. “Like I said yesterday when you dropped by the infirmary, I’m doing fine. Professor Estor did an amazing job healing the wound, and it barely hurts anymore.”

He sighed. “There is such a thing as being too studious, Everett. It is healthy for students to slack off from time to time.”

Professor Seris always seemed so stiff, yet he’d sometimes drop lines like that. I wondered if he had been some kind of free spirit in his school days, but I just couldn’t envision it.

“I’m not sure if you should be encouraging your students to lie so they can skip classes, but I appreciate the concern,” I joked, half-serious.

Admittedly, I wasn’t being entirely honest with him. The real reason I chose to start attending classes again today had nothing to do with being a good student; rather, the boredom of the infirmary was killing me, and even sitting through a series of dry lectures sounded more fun than lying down alone all day. But maybe some things were better left unsaid.

I had been on bed rest for nearly a week now. Miraculously, I was the only one to sustain a significant injury in the battle, so my period of recovery was the harshest consequence to come of the ordeal.

The academy was still unsure of how the attack was perpetrated or who was behind it, but security was tightened immediately, and Professor Seris assured us that he and the rest of the faculty were investigating the matter. At least for now, it was out of our hands.

The professor returned to the front of the room to gather his things and leave, having said his piece. I bade him farewell as he exited, and he returned the favor with a smile and a nod. After his departure, however, I realized I was not the last person left in the classroom.

“You alright, man?” Akio must’ve been waiting to take his turn, as he approached soon after.

“Yeah.” I felt like I was supposed to say more, but I still felt awkward around him.

“That cut looked super bad. I’m shocked you’re already healed and everything.”

“Well, the magic in this world is incredible. I still struggle to wrap my mind around how useful it is.”

“I guess that’s what a lifetime of living in another world does to you, huh? Though, for how great magic is and all, they’re really behind when it comes to practical consumer goods. You’re telling me anyone can shoot fire out of their hands by yelling a few words, but no one’s thought of inventing a magic smartphone? These wizards need to get their priorities straight.”

I nodded emphatically in understanding. “I had the same thought and even asked Shina about it once. Apparently, it’s hard to make multi-purpose magic items like that. Sigils are the way to go, but each one can only perform a single function, so it’s just not possible according to modern theory.” I regurgitated a heavily, heavily abridged version of the explanation Shina had given me after I tried to explain to her what a phone was.

“I’m sure the gacha market here in Aeresi would be huge, though. Someone’s gotta cash in on that. Let’s give the idea to some big-shot mage and rake in the royalties!”

“I think it might be morally corrupt of us to introduce gacha into a world free of it…”

Akio let out a chortle at my comment. “You might be right. But is a world where someone can’t dump their life savings into pulls for their waifu really a just one?”

As I opened my mouth to drop a sarcastic retort, I was struck by a realization.

This is fun. Talking with Akio… is fun.

I knew it shouldn’t come as a surprise, but I was left dumbfounded. I had always assumed that if he tried to have a conversation with me, it’d collapse before it started. I’d say the wrong thing at the wrong time—if I’d say anything at all—and we’d both walk away disappointed. But right now, the words came easily, my brain failing to parse my thoughts before blurting them out.

I supposed I had Shina to blame for that.

“Huh? You alright? You froze up all of a sudden.”

“Ah, yeah, I’m fine,” I reassured him.

Maybe I can ask him. Maybe it’d be okay.

A shocking thought came to me, one I never would have expected to consider for even a moment.

Is it wrong to ask? What if he hates me for prying? What if…

“I just wish you were that brave when it wasn’t life-or-death.”

… Dammit, Shina.

“Hey, Akio, I have a question.”

“What is it?”

“What were you trying to say to me during the battle?”

The carefree smile on his face evaporated, and his gaze turned down.

I immediately tried to backpedal after seeing his reaction. “Y-you don’t have to say if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to—”

Suddenly, Akio’s head flipped up toward the roof, and he let out an exaggerated grunt of pain, as if he were straining his body to an extreme degree.

Utterly befuddled, I stood there silently as he looked down at me again.

“In retrospect, it was super embarrassing, so please pretend you heard nothing,” he said, clapping his hands in front of his face and bowing his head.

“You sounded like you were in a lot of pain.” In spite of what I had said moments earlier, I couldn’t let this go. It felt too personal.

“Agh! Just thinking about it makes me cringe!” Akio whined, before sighing and reverting to an ordinary posture. “I don’t even remember the exact words. I just remember it sounded edgy as hell. I’m supposed to be a goofy, relatable protagonist, not a brooding one. No one will pull for me in the gacha if I break character!”

He laughed awkwardly, but it was obvious to both of us that wasn’t the full story.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. I’ll come clean,” he complained despite my lack of reply. “It’s not too complicated. I just… miss home. I miss my family. I miss my old life. It’s not like I hate this place, either. I like it here; I really do. I just can’t help but miss everything I lost.”

His tone made it seem like he was admitting to a crime. That made me angry.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” I was the last person to be lecturing someone about this, but I couldn’t hold back. “You shouldn’t feel guilty or think you need to keep it to yourself.”

“But… you haven’t seemed to care about that stuff at all. So maybe I’m just overreac—”

“I hated my old life.” And with that, I exposed my own scars, wounds I hadn’t even revealed to Shina. “That’s the only reason it hasn’t bothered me. There’s nothing special about me. It’s not that I can handle the pain of loss without showing it; there’s just not much pain to begin with. That doesn’t make yours any less real.”

Akio was taken aback at my sudden boldness, and frankly, I was too. Then, after a few seconds of quiet, he chose to break the silence.

“Well, when you put it like that, it was obviously stupid of me to compare our situations when I didn’t know anything about yours.” He broke back into one of his characteristic grins. “But man, if I’m being honest, it felt good to finally say it. Even if I can’t change how I feel, it felt nice to put it into words. Thanks.”

“I’m glad.” I didn’t think I did anything worth thanking, but I accepted his appreciation nonetheless.

Suddenly, he clapped both hands onto his cheeks with enough force that the resulting sound startled me. “Alright! No more sulking now! Not for me, or for you!”

“Like I said, there’s nothing wrong with—”

“That’s not what I mean, Everett. I’m not going to pretend I don’t feel the way I do.” He struck an odd pose, jabbing a thumb into his chest. “But there’s nothing saying I have to sit there, wallowing in depression all day. I hate that kind of thing. So if I’m feeling down, that just means I need to do something fun to pick myself back up.”

He extended a hand to me. “So come on. Let’s do something. Oh, and you can invite Shina too, if her classes are over. Any friend of a friend is a friend. Oh, try saying that three times fast!”

I’m a… friend?

“Alright,” I replied, my lips curving upward ever so slightly. “Let’s do something fun.”